Knackered is Lame with Benzos

   Hey there, Knackered here.  “Lame” has come to mean a lot of different things these days.  According to vocab.com. it currently has three different meanings that vary as to situation.  It can mean:  different in nature or a quality, marked by casual disrespect, or wounded in the feet or legs.

   There are so many lame things out there to capture our attention.  Abuses of power in political or societal situations, ridicule of someone who is a little different from mainstream, and prejudicial attitudes that relate to gender, race, or ethnicity, and of course, conditions of self that render us unable to do the things we were once capable of.

   We may find ourselves feeling lame in a number of ways these days.  One of the big complaints we have to deal with is weakness in our legs, arms, back, neck, etc.  Muscles often tremble and the urge of keep moving actually make us lame physically.

   Joints can swell, hurt and make moving difficult, even when we can’t sit still.  This can make it tough to be in a car, attempt to drive, ride on an airplane or do many of the things that we once considered just normal activities.  When we try to explain our situation to friends and family, they might think of the situation we’ve found ourselves in to be lame.

   Although, worldwide, there are 25.3 million people reporting some kind of Benzo use last year, we may still think of ourselves as a strange group of people and quite different from most of society.  Try explaining how you got into this mess or why you’re still trying to get out it and you’ll, no doubt, be thought of as ‘lame’.

    Almost two years into my taper I found myself unable to do things necessary to live my life like I wanted to.  A handicapped parking permit has been key to being able to get close enough to stores, airplane terminals, and restaurants so that I can actually get inside to shop, eat, or get to my departure gate.  Airports offer wheel chair assistance to passengers who need assistance with getting where they need to be.

  Being different in this way has led to interesting conversations with similar others while I’ve waited for an assistant to push me along.  There’s a feeling of camaraderie there that I’ve never known before.  Acceptance is easy and attitudes are positive.  People find a sameness in being different and so should we.

   Rather than feeling like we’re different, disabled or ruined in life we can look to each other with a feeling of mutual respect, compassion, and acceptance.  Whatever we need to keep on keeping on is normal in this time of life. “Don’t be disabled in spirit as well as physically.  Disability is a matter of perception.” (Stephen Hawking).  Today, both my dog and I are limping.  We take turns following each other around.  I doubt if he thinks there’s anything wrong with him, why should I?