Knackered Does Topiary with Benzos

   Hey there, Knackered here.  Under an overcast sky, the Knackereds schlep gardening paraphernalia to the front of the house.  It’s time you trim shrubberies. There is some urgency in what they do.  They’re trying to ‘beat the heat.’  This is the hot side of their dwelling, and it’s not likely  they’ll succeed.

   Ms Knackered expresses eager anticipation for the job ahead. It’s something she does well and appears to enjoy. In younger years Knackered held the helm, but he has long since been retired from duty.

   In the days young children were running amok within, he played fast and loose with the clippers.  Fancying himself a topiary artiste’, he created sculptures and designs worthy of  ‘Home and Garden’ portraiture.

   Alas, those days now rest in the rear window window; he and his creations voted off the landscape.  Family critics reported that his designs were ‘too far out there.’ Knackered perceived his work slightly ahead of its time.  But Ms  Knackered simply shook her head and extended her hand to take the tools of his trade back to the shed.  He had been chopped.  But, in his heart, he  knew he was simply misunderstood.  Of course he was.

   For today’s procedure, electrification is in order. Lacking the rechargeable power packs of the modern age, a worthy cord is required.  And in his hands he holds the ‘mother of all extension cords.’ An outlet is needed, of course, but Knackered knows this ‘baby’ is capable of reaching the county sub station if  necessary.  Quickly unrolled, Knackered has been known to still be fighting with the entangled mess at dinner time. It is truly a sight that makes the neighbors gawk from their windows.

   Sadly, he returns to the task at hand. He is now the grunt crew and relegated to clean up duty.  He rakes, and treks to the alley bin as Ms Knackered adds to the pile. On one such trip, he returns to find a passerby waxing on about his botanical knowledge. The one sided conversation concludes about the way in which he cultivates his weed.  He moves on and Knackered is happy to see him go. The sun has emerged and Knackered is eager to be done.

   Finally, the Knackereds grow weary and decide to call it quits. Lawn tools are replaced, the cord is somehow wrapped and stowed without him still attached to it. Returning inside, he flops in a kitchen chair and sighs.  Stick a fork in him.  He is done.