Knackered Sorts Clerkzilla with Benzos

   Hey there, Knackered here.  It’s Friday morning in the Knackered household and he is in the middle of a recent cut and feeling it badly.  Of course he is.  Aren’t we all.

   Friday on the Knackered calendar always announces grocery shopping.  It happens every week.  Over and over again.  Week after week.  Knackered is weary about all this.  Grocery shopping is not his friend.  In fact, he has gone on several blog rants about this very thing.

   He apologizes for this ahead of time, and advises his BB followers that some may want to jump off at this point.  Nevertheless, it is what it is and people have to eat.  Of course they do.

   Every trip is only a five minute drive, but the handicapped parking spaces are not near the entry.  He leans on his Benzo cane as he extracts himself from the car and hobbles along with Ms Knackered to the automatic doors.  Once inside, he goes immediately to the carts and leans heavily on the push handle.  Benzo induced neuropathy makes it difficult to walk for very long.  But needs must, and he will strive to remain upright.

  They schlep through the store.  Knackered following along as they choose various items and look for the cheapest prices.  They are constantly astonished at the increasing value of consumer goods. It just keeps happening.  Week after week.

   Having accomplished the lot, they make their way to check out.  There is only one lane open.  Self check out is not an option.  They exceed the fifteen item limit.  Of course they do.

   Moving quickly to the line, they encounter a new checker.  She wears a scowl and a take no prisoners mindset. It is evident that she will tolerate no back talk or nonsense.  The Knackered couple quickly open their eco friendly shopping bags and pass items down the conveyer belt.  Arms folded she leers at them as the items arrive.

   Ms Knackered timidly requests that she would like the bags packed lightly.  However, the checker replies, “Not likely, you should have brought more containers!”  The Knackerds give each other the ‘look’ and whisper,“Clerkzilla!” Suddenly the next command emerges:  “Take your hands off the counter, and back away!”  They reply with startled glances.  They are not paying for this treatment.

   Suddenly a package of meat is ejected over the counter into the shopper aisle.  It’s flying ground turkey that splats to the ground.  All hunker down and cover as clerkzilla shouts, “Leave it.  I got it!”  No one challenges her request.     

   Having little to no impulse control and rampant OCD, Knackered begins to get hot and bothered.  He wills himself not to respond and goes to a non-engaged, meditative mode.  Without speaking they return to the vehicle and unpack.

   Now alone they check the receipt for errors.  They realize that they have been overcharged for items that were allegedly on sale.  Once again they give each other the silent stare.  Nothing needs to be said.  They will not return inside.