Knackered is Hiding Out with Benzos

   Hey there, Knackered here.  Shhhhhh… we’ve got to be quiet here.  My wife is hosting a birthday tea for a friend and I’m supposed to be wearing a cloak of invisibility.  It’s just me and the dog in the back room and we’re supposed to keep each other from interrupting the proceedings. I completed my chores this AM; that being sweeping some floors and cleaning the bathroom.  Now that I’m done and the guest is on the scene, here we are.

   Being alone is often seen as a lonely and depressing affair.  In this age of technological interaction, it goes without saying that many folks can’t stand the stuff (being alone that is).  But, in truth, being alone is crucial.  It gives us a chance to focus on what needs doing, and think more clearly while doing so.  We all need that time to unplug and reduce incoming noise that messes with our ability to make sense of things.

   Often, the downside of the whole Benzo thing is that we really can’t handle all that stimuli, all the time, coming in from all directions, in all forms.  If you’re listening to the TV while talking on the phone, while trying to sort the doorbell cam, while you’re eating your lunch at the same time, you may notice your temperature and heart rate rising considerably.  Not good for the ‘Benzo bod’.

   Solitude can improve our ability to sort problems more effectively and improve our relationships.  Remember those Covid days, stuck in the house with the whole family for days on end. Stores and libraries closed.  Personal contact inside the home maxed to the hilt?  Most of were dying for just an hour or two of escape. Now, apart from one another for most of the day, everyone is glad to gather for a bit in the evening.  There’s time to tell our stories of the day and find comfort from being together again.

   When needs must and I find myself in crowded places, the very kinesthetic energy of everyone coming and going in such a close proximity can be my undoing.  I’ve even found myself returning to the car to read for a bit or just enjoy some quiet time while everyone finishes walking through the mall or gathering their luggage at the airport.

   Surely everyone has, at some time in life, found themselves in a group living situation.  Socializing, partying and the constant shenanigans of crowded college life were fine for awhile, but I often hauled myself and my books to an off campus hang out just to gain some sense of self again.  Whether you’ve been in a crowded ‘house share’ or an apartment with roommates, you’ve probably noticed how the constant drain of interaction with others can drain your own energy.

   So if the situation or your lot in life has found you alone for a short time or for a  longer spell; take heart in the fact that you’re not weird, a closet case, or anti social.  Being isolated during Benzo WD can be enough to ‘blow your mind’ at times, but “In the silent depths of loneliness, we discover the melodies of our hearts.” (Life Architecture)