An experience like no other

[[tu...]]

It is always good to hear from you PJ.

 

Enjoy your new doggie.

 

Love the quote about sitting with your dog on a hill being peace.  It truly doesn't get better than that.

 

TG

[[mi...]]

Thanks PJ.  I am doing better and I'll be sure to write a success story, whenever that day may arrive.  Very slow progress over the past few months but progress.  I have read about people that turn on a dime towards the better.  I hope that is me.  If not, I'll settle for getting measurably better month over month.  Thanks again. 

 

M

[[...]]

hi every buddy , my monthly update 14 months now still 99% normal,waiting for the time to post my success story

[[tu...]]

Hoda:

 

Glad to hear you are doing good.  I can't wait to read your success story.  I am sure it will be soon.

 

Take care,

TG

[[...]]

Hi hoda,

 

Way to go!  I will be very interested in reading your success story.  Thanks for letting us know that it should not be too much longer until you post it.

 

pj 

[[...]]

On April 1st., it will be one year since I posted my success story.  Time sure is fleeting -- just like the latin words, tempus fugit proclaim. 

 

None of my withdrawal symptoms have returned, proving to me, that once we have healed, we stay healed, unless we resume taking benzos again ... something I will never, ever do ... something you will never do.

 

Our struggle surviving benzo withdrawals has taught us to question our doctors regarding any drugs that we are prescribed, and most importantly to do our own research about the potential side-effects of prescribed or over-the-counter drugs. 

 

Never again will we innocently, will we naively or will we blindly accept what is presented to us without questioning ... it is our life, and it is our body that we must protect from harm.  Many of us have had to educate our doctors about the fact that, yes, benzo withdrawals ... for an unfortunate segment of society,  are very real, they last a long time, they hurt, and they disrupt our lives -- something they should have learned more about in med school or been more informed about by the makers and the distrubutors of benzos, and drugs that are a benzo under a different name, such as Ambien.

 

Everyone will fully recover from their benzo experience ... I have said it many times, but it is something that needs to be heard over and over again, because when someone is in withdrawals from benzos, 'reassurance' is the magic word that can change their negative thoughts -- caused by the benzos ... to positive thoughts, that can help to make their journey towards being benzo free, and complete heaing a reality.

 

Since I am often repeating myself, I will say, as I have said many times before, the folks here at BenzoBuddies are some of the kindest, the most forgiving, the most sincere, and the most non-judgemental people, in or out of the internet world.  This is not always the way folks conduct themselves on many other internet sites.

 

Every human has ... an attendant spirit ... If it does not always tell us what to do, it always cautions us what not to do. -- Lydia M. Child 

 

 

[[mi...]]

PJ,

Thanks for hanging around and helping us out after a year of successfully healing.  Congratulations on that mark. You deserve every ounce of happiness and joy that comes your way. 

 

As you know, we all appreciate your kindness. 

 

M

[[...]]

Turtle girl, pj thx my friends ur good friends iwill never forget ur supporte

[[...]]

How is that new baby doing, hoda?   Are you able to get any sleep? 

[[...]]

At first blush, that tiny little pill may have seemed to you to be a wonder drug. 

 

You were able to sleep, and your anxiety was kept at bay.  Then you realized that the pill you were given to aleviate your insomna, and to reduce your anxiety turned on you, big time. Your insomnia, and your anxiety became much worse than they were before you ever took a benzo.     

 

Before very long, that seemingly innocent act of taking a doctor prescribed drug, brought you to the strange, painful, and confusing world of tolerance withdrawals, and as if that weren't enough to make your life totally miserable, along came the withdrawals associated with your wanting to rid your body of benzos, either by tapering or via cold turkey. 

 

There is no going back to undo what has been done, so now, because of your courageous, and wise decision to get off of those mean little pills that have disrupted your life, you are experiencing withdrawals, and shaking your head in disbelief ... questioning who you are, worrying that you will never heal, and wondering why is it that everything in your life sometimes seems so unreal.

 

So, now what do you do?  The first thing you do is tell yourself that the withdrawals you are experiencing are temporary.  If it's been a year or more, and you still haven't completely recovered -- you are probably wondering how something that takes a year or more to resolve itself can be considered temporary.  I thought the same thing, too.  My 'temporary' withdrawals lasted well over a year, and I was completely, and permanetly recovered in fifteen months. 

 

It's not unusual for folks who are ultra-sensitive to benzos to take two years, and even longer to heal.  It is also not that unusual for a person to completely heal in six months or less.  We are not like 'peas in a pod' when it comes to the length or the severity of withdrawals ... we are as different as legitimate theater is to  reality television.

 

Try to go about your life in as 'normal' a way as you can, whatever that means.  Keeping busy really does help to take your mind off of withdrawals.  It may take awhile before you are comfortable driving a car or going shopping or even going out of the house to retrieve the mail.  When you are able to, walking is a good way to relieve anxiety and stress without it being too stressful on your benzo compromised body. 

 

Try to eat nutritious, natural foods ... keep it simple, keep it fresh.  Stay away from all that processed stuff that is loaded with MSG, and other chemicals who's sole purpose is to enhance flavor or to prolong shelf life -- read the labels, if there are more than five ingredients listed, put it back on the shelf.  I once counted twenty seven ingredients in a packaged food item.     

 

Those of you who may be considering joining this unique site, but are having reservations about the safety and anonymity of being a member of an internet forum -- you can rest assured that this site is very safe.  The very secure 'cyber' lock on the entry door to BenzoBuddies installed by Colin and company, designed to keep out the miscreants -- who's only goal in life is to cause disruption -- cannot enter.   

 

You kind members who are still struggling and suffering with symptoms that just won't go away, and you are beginning to think that your symptoms are permanent ... don't let it get to you, because they ARE temporary ... your recovery will be permanent -- NOT YOUR WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS.

 

If you celebrate it -- Happy Easter to you.  If you cannot tolerate chocolate, perhaps you can nibble on a marshmallow bunny    

 

pj

 

 

[[pi...]]

I was fortunate, with the help of my vet, to find a beautiful three year old female German Shepherd at an animal shelter.  When she extended her paw to me, it was 'love at first sight'.  I know that me and 'Dixie' will be friends for a very long time.

 

 

PJ, I am so sorry to hear about your dear sweet dog, it breaks my heart to see animals suffer.  They are our family and bring such comfort and joy to our lives. They give so willingly and love so fully. 

 

You seem to have found a wonderful new friend,  you can't replace one with the other, but you can start a new friendship and form new and different special bonds with your shepherd. What is her name?

 

I would love a new dog but since we have a grandbaby and plan to visit as much as possible I guess its not in the cards right now.  I did see a darling aussie on the Aussie rescue society website though. 

 

PG

[[tu...]]

PJ:

 

Your words over the last year have helped me (and I know so many others) very much.  Thank you for continuing to check in on all of us here.

 

I am doing better all the time.  I have even started to apply for jobs.  While not quite 100%, what is left has become pretty manageable.  Honestly, I think working right now and the distraction it would give me could be the best thing while I heal this last little bit.  I'm a bit nervous about it, but deep down I believe it is the right next step for me.

 

What is left symptom-wise is this:

 

Still get visually overloaded easily.  When this happens I get that disoriented/spaced-out sensation that can be un-nerving especially while driving.  I am driving more and more and longer distances, but still I am avoiding the freeway because of this.  I feel certain that in time I will be able to do this though.  I think a lot of my unease with this sensation is due to fear and anticipation as some of my worst vertigo/anxiety/dizzy moments happened while driving.  In time as I continue to drive and my CNS calms down I think this will evaporate.

 

In new places, with new people (especially if I am "stuck" like in a long school performance or a meeting) I get that "boaty" (and very rarely now) anxious feeling.  But, this has lessened dramatically in the last month.  There are places it has plagued me over the last year (school performances at my kids' schools) that I have done just fine with lately.  So I know it is almost better.  Still, I have it pop up occasionally under very mundane circumstances and it spooks me when it does, but less than before.  I have stopped trying to figure it out.  I truly think there is no rhyme or reason to it.  Just an overly sensitive CNS that given who knows what dynamics decides to act up at times still.

 

So, that is where I am at.  Slowly, slowly getting stronger all the time.  I am finally at a point where I believe it will really go away and that is such a peaceful feeling.  Thanks to you and many other kind and healed souls I am finding my way out of this dark chapter of my life.  I am forever grateful for the support and friendship I have received here.

 

Wish me continued healing.  I am doing my best to get on with my life and find that I relate less and less to the forum and the challenges everyone faces here.  That does not mean I don't think of those struggling - I do, everyday.  I think if the world only knew how much courage it takes to get yourself out of the hole that these drugs leave us in they would be in awe of our determination.  I am sure my road will still offer up a bump here and there as I find my way to the finish line.  It is comforting to know there are friends here to help me find my way.  Thanks for being one of those friends. 

 

Warmly,

Annie

 

 

[[...]]

I was fortunate, with the help of my vet, to find a beautiful three year old female German Shepherd at an animal shelter.  When she extended her paw to me, it was 'love at first sight'.  I know that me and 'Dixie' will be friends for a very long time.

 

 

PJ, I am so sorry to hear about your dear sweet dog, it breaks my heart to see animals suffer.  They are our family and bring such comfort and joy to our lives. They give so willingly and love so fully. 

 

You seem to have found a wonderful new friend,  you can't replace one with the other, but you can start a new friendship and form new and different special bonds with your shepherd. What is her name?

 

I would love a new dog but since we have a grandbaby and plan to visit as much as possible I guess its not in the cards right now.  I did see a darling aussie on the Aussie rescue society website though. 

 

PG

 

Hi pianogirl,

 

Thank you.  Dogs give to us so much more than we can ever give back to them.  They teach us to be humble, how to be a true friend, and they teach us that the things that we humans sometimes needlessly stress over in our lives, should be pushed aside for awhile, and replaced by a walk along the seashore or through a pine-scented woods.

 

I named my new dog Dixie.  I am somewhat familar with Australian Shepherds (Aussie) because they have some of the same qualities as a Border Collie.  Just like Border Collies they need a lot of exercise, which is a good thing for the dog -- and it's owner.

 

I bet you just love the dickens out of your grandbaby

 

Take care.

 

pj

 

 

 

 

[[...]]

PJ:

 

Your words over the last year have helped me (and I know so many others) very much.  Thank you for continuing to check in on all of us here.

 

I am doing better all the time.  I have even started to apply for jobs.  While not quite 100%, what is left has become pretty manageable.  Honestly, I think working right now and the distraction it would give me could be the best thing while I heal this last little bit.  I'm a bit nervous about it, but deep down I believe it is the right next step for me.

 

What is left symptom-wise is this:

 

Still get visually overloaded easily.  When this happens I get that disoriented/spaced-out sensation that can be un-nerving especially while driving.  I am driving more and more and longer distances, but still I am avoiding the freeway because of this.  I feel certain that in time I will be able to do this though.  I think a lot of my unease with this sensation is due to fear and anticipation as some of my worst vertigo/anxiety/dizzy moments happened while driving.  In time as I continue to drive and my CNS calms down I think this will evaporate.

 

In new places, with new people (especially if I am "stuck" like in a long school performance or a meeting) I get that "boaty" (and very rarely now) anxious feeling.  But, this has lessened dramatically in the last month.  There are places it has plagued me over the last year (school performances at my kids' schools) that I have done just fine with lately.  So I know it is almost better.  Still, I have it pop up occasionally under very mundane circumstances and it spooks me when it does, but less than before.  I have stopped trying to figure it out.  I truly think there is no rhyme or reason to it.  Just an overly sensitive CNS that given who knows what dynamics decides to act up at times still.

 

So, that is where I am at.  Slowly, slowly getting stronger all the time.  I am finally at a point where I believe it will really go away and that is such a peaceful feeling.  Thanks to you and many other kind and healed souls I am finding my way out of this dark chapter of my life.  I am forever grateful for the support and friendship I have received here.

 

Wish me continued healing.  I am doing my best to get on with my life and find that I relate less and less to the forum and the challenges everyone faces here.  That does not mean I don't think of those struggling - I do, everyday.  I think if the world only knew how much courage it takes to get yourself out of the hole that these drugs leave us in they would be in awe of our determination.  I am sure my road will still offer up a bump here and there as I find my way to the finish line.  It is comforting to know there are friends here to help me find my way.  Thanks for being one of those friends. 

 

Warmly,

Annie

 

 

turtlegirl,

 

As you continue to heal -- like a flower that has been taken out of the dark and placed into the sunshine -- you will keep on blossoming and growing -- until once again you are that confident, strong, self-assured woman that you used to be.

 

To have gotten to know you, and to consider you a friend, has been a wonderful experience for me.  It's amazing how words, written by someone we have never seen, can be so enlightening -- that we feel as if we really do know that person who is behind the anonymous name. 

 

Sometimes, we tend to underestimate how the power of a smile, a kind word or a caring gesture can have the potential to affect someone's life in a most positive way.

 

You are almost there -- you are getting close enough to grab that brass ring on the carousel -- a reminder to you of how you have almost made the complete circle from hurting to healing.  The symptoms that you are still experiencing are getting more tolerable and less stressful day by day, a sign that you are indeed almost there. 

 

You are absolutely correct, working is a much needed, and beneficial distraction in taking the next step in becoming a complete, happy, healed and confident person.  Good luck to you in your job search.

 

Thank you for always thanking me for staying around to encourage others, at least I hope that I am.  Sometimes I worry that I may be wearing out my welcome here because I keep on repeating the same things over and over again.  There are times when I think that perhaps I should do like General Douglas MacArthur did, and just fade away.   

 

But, since BenzoBuddies is all about caring and understanding, I believe that someone like me, who has completely healed -- remembering how confused and hurting I was when I first came here, I should continue to help and encourage others.  Just like I needed a friend and a helping hand when I found this site, there are many folks following in our footsteps who also need a friend and a helping hand to encourage them, and to give them the confidence, and the reassurance that they, too will heal and get their lives back. 

 

The day will come when each and everyone of us will just fade away from here -- because that is just the way that it is.  Some folks leave after they have healed.  Some folks leave before they have healed -- because that is just the way that it is.  I think that most people leave here with a better understanding of who they are as a person because of their interactions with the many fine people they have met here. 

 

They will never forget the good memories that they took with them or the good folks who, through their kindness, and their understanding, created those wonderful memories for them.  We can all be proud of our time spent on BenzoBuddies, because there is no greater reward in life, than there is in being a friend to someone who is friendless or in helping someone who is in desperate need of encouragement and understanding. 

 

To help a person become a happy, confident -- somebody, in a world that often make folks seem like a nobody, is a wonderful thing to do.

 

Annie, I wish you continued healing.  You are a compassionate, kind, and decent person.  Your family is fortunate to have you in their life.  I hope they always  love and respect you for the awesome person that you are    

 

pj

 

 

 

[[Su...]]

OH NO....pj !

 

I am so sorry to hear about your sweet Charlie. :'(  I know that you miss him.  So Dixie is trying to take over your seat on the couch, already ?  It sounds like she is running the house....and she knows that she has a good master.

I look forward to reading about your adventures with Rin Tin Dixie.

 

It just amazes me how you always know the right things to say, and make good folks feel so welcome here. 

Today I had the opportunity to help my neighbors...by picking up tree branches and twigs scattered all over their property....instead of sitting around feeling sorry for myself.  It was a good thing to give a helping hand....and feel blessed myself.  It's just a good ole dose of medicine for the heart, when you extend a helping hand.

 

You make me think about the important things in life....Mr pj.    I'm thanking you from the bottom of my heart.

Don't go fading away from Benzo Buddies anytime soon !  We would miss you.

 

Sunny girl

 

 

[[tu...]]

Thanks for the kind words and (selfishly) please don't fade away just yet.  I for one, find so much reassurance in knowing that you are here helping me and others. 

[[il...]]

PJ,

 

Your success story and your continued support to anyone in need here is immeasurable. I hope you stay.

[[pi...]]

pj, don't you dare go anywhere!!!! I might have to come after ya and drag ya back. 

 

I wish you knew just how many people you help, look how many views you have of this thread: 23,000.  Even those that don't post receive such comfort from your gently kind words and messages of hope.

 

We won't say how much we like you, it might go to your head.... just sayin.... 

 

PG

[[...]]

OH NO....pj !

 

I am so sorry to hear about your sweet Charlie. :'(  I know that you miss him.  So Dixie is trying to take over your seat on the couch, already ?  It sounds like she is running the house....and she knows that she has a good master.

I look forward to reading about your adventures with Rin Tin Dixie.

 

It just amazes me how you always know the right things to say, and make good folks feel so welcome here. 

Today I had the opportunity to help my neighbors...by picking up tree branches and twigs scattered all over their property....instead of sitting around feeling sorry for myself.  It was a good thing to give a helping hand....and feel blessed myself.  It's just a good ole dose of medicine for the heart, when you extend a helping hand.

 

You make me think about the important things in life....Mr pj.    I'm thanking you from the bottom of my heart.

Don't go fading away from Benzo Buddies anytime soon !  We would miss you.

 

Sunny girl

 

 

 

Hi Sunny girl

 

Rin Tin Dixie, I like the sound of that, Sunny. 

 

Ya, I sure do miss good ol' Charlie.  The vet doesn't exactly know what happened to his spine that caused him not to be able to move his hind legs.  There were no signs of trauma to his back.  It was so sudden ... one morning he just couldn't get up from the floor.  I felt so sorry for him because he tried so hard to get up, but his legs were lifeless.  I don't cry easy.  On that day the tears flowed -- contrary to the macho mantra --- real men do sometimes cry.

 

Now I have Dixie, a sweet little shelter rescue, who as you have surmised, has taken over the house -- lock, stock, and barrel ... and the couch.

 

You're right, Sunny.  When we are busy assisting others who are in need of help, our troubles that we deemed so significant, become less significant.  There is a special kind of warmth that surrounds us, and for awhile our troubles melt away as we see the joy that we brought to someone who needed our help. 

 

There is a saying from an anonymous source that goes like this: If you want to touch the past, touch a rock.  If you want to touch the present, touch a flower.  If you want to to touch the future, touch a life.

 

Thank you for kind thoughts of Charlie, and for your kind words to me.  You are a wonderful, loving person.  I sincerely hope that you will soon be feeling better so you can live your life to the fullest, in the way that you deserve to.

 

pj

[[...]]

Thanks for the kind words and (selfishly) please don't fade away just yet.  I for one, find so much reassurance in knowing that you are here helping me and others. 

 

Okay, I won't fade away

[[ge...]]

Thanks for the kind words and (selfishly) please don't fade away just yet.  I for one, find so much reassurance in knowing that you are here helping me and others. 

 

Okay, I won't fade away

 

[[...]]

PJ,

 

Your success story and your continued support to anyone in need here is immeasurable. I hope you stay.

 

Hi, illgetthrough,

 

I don't know if that is your dog in your avatar -- if it is, I have to compliment you on how well-groomed, and how well cared for it is.

 

Thank you for your kind words.  I will try to be around here as much as I can.  I have some real heartfelt feelings towards this great place, and for the good folks who come here for support, and understanding.

 

pj

[[...]]

pj, don't you dare go anywhere!!!! I might have to come after ya and drag ya back. 

 

I wish you knew just how many people you help, look how many views you have of this thread: 23,000.  Even those that don't post receive such comfort from your gently kind words and messages of hope.

 

We won't say how much we like you, it might go to your head.... just sayin.... 

 

PG

 

You won't have to drag me back ... just play Mozart's Piano Concerto No 20, and i'll come a runnin'   You are the teacher.  In grade school I was told to always listen to the teacher ... so, I will listen, and stay put ... I will let my old Levis -- just fade away -- not me.

[[ma...]]

Look PJ.....Pg is playing your Mozart's Piano Concerto No 20  http://i1193.photobucket.com/albums/aa351/margarita1959/garypiano.gif                ....you have to stay now

                                                                                        Pianogirl in concert

 

 

I am so sorry about Charlie, must have broke your heart, I know you can never replace that love, but your new little friend will help ease the pain. You’re an absolute treasure here my dear friend, and in years to come when my old levis are faded, you are one person I will never ever forget.http://i1193.photobucket.com/albums/aa351/margarita1959/Smilies/dont-go-smiley.gif

                                                                                                                                                                     

 

Love you mate

 

Margo

 

[[...]]

I can usually find the words to convey my thoughts, but right now they are not coming to me.  Your thoughtfullness, and your kindness has overwhelmed to the point where I just want to chill, and let the beautiful music created by Mozart, and played by pianogirl, transport me to that big tree in the meadow where I can sit, and dream of pretty girls, warm summer nights, and wonder what it must have been like to be a guest in Mozart's home.

 

 

Thank you, Margo.  In the book of love -- your name is at the top of the first page.