An experience like no other

[[Su...]]

Hi pj !

 

I had to come by for my therapy session.   Do you know that I always leave here with a smile on my face ?

I could picture Charlie and you outside playing with the frisbee....and your amazement at seeing the bald eagle soaring above.  There are some nests in a National Park near us, and people are allowed to observe the babies when they hatch.  We have been fortunate enough to see the adult ones flying up and down the river for their catch of fish.  As for Charlie....does he catch the frisbee ?  I miss my Siberian Husky.  She loved to play soccer, if you can imagine that....and she was pretty entertaining when she sang to my ridiculous harmonica playing.   What is it about our pets that light up our lives !

 

pj.....It touched me to read that you spent your childhood growing up in foster homes.  Every parent should be so blessed to have a child grow up with the intense understanding and appreciation for the true meaning of life, that you learned through the 'school of hard knocks'.  I sense this awesome inner peace coming through your words....that you are content and happy with your journey in life.

 

I caught myself laughing and acting silly over the weekend, and almost forgot about w/d....which was a good thing. Took a little time to smell the roses, I guess.

 

Thanks for another cup of Earl Grey tea.  I think I will sleep well tonight....pj.

 

Sunnygirl 

 

 

 

[[...]]

Hi sunnygirl,

 

My dog Charlie, is a Border Collie; a breed known for their intelligence and arobatic skills, so he responds to many commands, and loves to leap high in the air and catch his red frisbee.  You know, it really bugs the heck out of me to no end, the way in which some folks, who appear to have no character or compassion, mistreat their animals.  "Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of it's tail."  I read that on a sign in a Veterinarian's office.

 

The American Bald Eagle is indeed a magnificent sight to behold, and to think that Benjamin Franklin wanted the turkey to be our national symbol.  What a delightful time it must have been for you when your soccer playing, Siberian Husky, was singing while you played the harmonica.  What a sensation that would have been on YouTube! ... I have always found harmonica players to be very unique, and interesting people. 

 

These are just my observations, but I think inner peace can be achieved only when we practice forgiveness and are willing to let go of the past.  No person can give us inner peace ... it has to come from within ourself.  We can have inner peace and contentment when we simplify our lives, because living a life of simplicity allows us more freedom to live life on our terms.  I don't know if you have ever read the book, "Walden" published in 1854, by Henry David Thoreau. It's a wonderful book about self-reliance, and living in harmony with nature.   

 

A wise old gentleman once told me that every day cannot be perfect; "Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant" Ain't that the truth!   

 

Thank you for stopping by, sunnygirl.  I enjoy the company of you and Earl Grey very much.  I'm glad that you forgot about withdrawals for awhile, and were able to laugh and be silly.  That is so important.

 

Have a great week.  Remember to be happy, and to be silly.  I think it is so cool that you play the harmonica   The thought of you playing a great old tune like "Oh! Susanna" on your harmonica, starts my toes a tappin, and gets my hands a clappin'.  Here's a good example of someone being silly and having lots of fun while playing their version of Oh Suzanna:   

 

pj

 

[[...]]

Hhhmm, might be... I remember reading some nutrition facts and how an average lumberjack needs around 5000 calories per day for the work he does... no wonder they sleep like logs.

 

Maybe I should change my profession 

 

I tried to be a lumberjack once, but I couldn't cut it so they gave me the axe   Just kidding, I have all I can do to just split enough wood for my fireplace.

 

I guess the good thing about being a lumberjack is that you can eat all those calories and still stay nice and trim.  A day of logging would definitely make you sleep like one.

[[Su...]]

Hi pj,

 

How cool that would be to play a banjo and harmonica at the same time !!    Ya know what ?  I put the harmonica away when my dog died, so it has been a while since I played.  It's time to take it out and see if I can still play "Oh Suzanna", or "Rocky Top".  I don't know that I am ready for another dog, yet....as I  sure do miss that old dog.   We once had a small Border Collie (black with a white throat)....and I remember that she was smart like your Charlie.

 

"Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant" !!!  :laugh:  Boy, did that give me a laugh !   

 

Don't go putting ideas in my head, pj.  I'm thinking I might practice up my harmonica skills and find me a spot on YouTube. 

 

Sunny girl 

[[...]]

sunnygirl ... you know, you are one heck of a harmonious lady.  I bet you can sing in perfect harmony with your Hohner harmonica.  I will be looking forward with great anticipation to someday of hearing your rendition of "Rocky Top" on YouTube.   

 

I hope you are completely healed soon so you can live your life in a most serene, happy, hopeful, and peaceful way.

 

I owe, I owe, I owe ... so it's  off to work I go.   Everybody have a wonderful day, filled with healing and hope.

 

pj

[[...]]

I received a PM today from a very nice person who was real concerned that they would not heal, and wondered if most folks really do heal, especially from the mental part of withdrawals.

 

Being an optimist, who always tries to see the positive side of life, I truly believe that, yes, people do completely heal.  When someone is still having withdrawal symptoms after two years or longer, it is understandable that they begin to question if they will ever heal.  I have a low tolerance for drugs of any kind.  Benzodiazepines, being the powerful, mind altering drugs they are, I am not surprised that it took me fifteen months to declare myself healed.  I'm sure that there are many people who have a lower tolerance to drugs than even I have, so it is understandable that it can take two years or longer for them to heal.

 

As far as the mental aspect associated with benzo withdrawals;  you can rest assured that, If ... YOU WERE NOT ... experiencing any of the mental issues that you are now having, before you took any benzos ... then we have to surmise that any mental problems you are having, are indeed caused by the benzos, and you will heal from them, just as you do from the physical symptoms.

 

It's such a doggone dirty shame that anyone has to deal with these crazy withdrawals.  I just want to say to all you fine folks who are still struggling, stay positive, stay strong, and do not give in or give up.  Your turn to completely heal is coming.  You will join the thousands who already have.

 

The very best to you all.

 

pj

[[tu...]]

I just can't hear that enough PJ!

 

Insomnia got the best of me last night and I was awake until 4 a.m.  Laid there wondering if I will always struggle with sleep.  Also, made an attempt to drive on the freeway this Friday only to end up stuck on the offramp for about 5+ mins and feeling some pretty strong anxiety while I waited.  So discouraging.  Reading your post this morning was very reassuring.  Thanks for repeating the message over and over.  It is needed.

 

Warmly,

TG

[[...]]

Hi turtlegirl,

 

I'm sorry to hear that you are still experiencing insomnia.  Hopefully, it will ease up soon so you can get your much needed sleep.  Your making an attempt to drive on the freeway is a huge step forward.  You became anxious, but that is not such a bad thing to happen ... show me someone who is not a bit anxious while driving on the freeway, and I would have to examine them for a pulse. 

 

Driving anxiety is completely normal, especially if you have not driven on a freeway for a long time, but the more you do it, the more confidence, and the less anxiety you will have.

 

 

I want to take a minute and say to folks: if you wake up one morning and discover that a person with whom you have been corresponding with for a long time, no longer logs onto this site ... do not think that they left because of something you may have said to them.  Chances are they left because there may have been trouble on the homefront,  posting too much was becoming detrimental to their healing or they have healed to the point where they were ready to just quietly disappear like a shadow through an open window, taking the memory of you with them ... locked away in their heart for an eternity ... because you were there for them, when they needed you. 

 

Take care turtlegirl, and everbody.

 

pj

 

 

 

 

[[mi...]]

Hey PJ,

Thank you so much for your time and support.  I know it has helped me through some of the darkest times. 

 

Happiness always bud,

M

[[re...]]

Thanks, PJ!  I love coming by your blog.  Your words are always such a joy to read.    Thanks for all the hope and cheer that you spread.  I will see you around. 

 

 

Redeemed

[[...]]

thank pj;  yes indeed - we sure do need to keep hearing it;  u r awesome

[[...]]

Thanks, PJ!  I love coming by your blog.  Your words are always such a joy to read.    Thanks for all the hope and cheer that you spread.  I will see you around. 

 

 

Redeemed

Hey PJ,

Thank you so much for your time and support.  I know it has helped me through some of the darkest times. 

 

Happiness always bud,

M

 

Good to hear from you, miffed and redeemed.

 

You guys seem to be doing much better.  I think our friend, Hoda, has completely recovered and is busy running his store, and enjoying life ... another affirmation that folks do indeed heal from their experience with benzos. 

 

Thank you for your kind words.  You are both gentlemen, in the truest sense of the word.

 

pj

 

 

[[...]]

thank pj;  yes indeed - we sure do need to keep hearing it;  u r awesome

 

Thank you, Pan ... but, I'm far from being awesome.  I am more or less just a country bumpkin, ( a hick from the sticks ) an aw-shucks, kinda guy who loves life and all the neat folks who make it happen.

 

Pan, what would be ... AWESOME ... is to see you completely recovered ... feelin' good and feelin' free ... the way you were designed, and destined to be!

 

Take good care of yourself.

 

pj

 

 

[[...]]

When I log onto BenzoBuddies, there seems to be one or two names that I don't recognize from the previous day.  Many new people are coming on board everyday, bolstering the fact that benzos are indeed a drug to be reckoned with.

 

Many new members may not be aware that most of the moderators are still recovering from their prescribed use of Benzodiazepines, and that some of them are also working full-time jobs.  How do they do it? ... you may be asking yourself. 

 

First off, they do it because they have a strong desire to help folks who are seeking help from someone who does not judge them or disrespect them.  So in return, we as members, should not judge or disrespect the benzobuddies team.  To be upbeat day after day, when they themselves may not be feeling up to par, takes a very special person, that's for sure. 

 

The moderators give of themselves, generously, and unselfishly, so that others can have a safe and secure place where they can have the support and understanding to help them to succeed in their determination to be free from benzos.

 

The love they share with others, is straight from the heart.  They are volunteers, so of course, they are not paid in a monetary sense.  Their reward is a thank you and a smile from someone who feels a whole lot better, and more secure, knowing that they are not alone on their journey to get back what benzos has taken from them.

 

If there were no moderators ... there would be no BenzoBuddies.

 

Don't forget, folks ... you're going to heal ... you're going to get your life back ... you're going to, one day, look in the mirror, and looking back at you, will be a most confident, happy person, with a smile on your face as big as the state of Texas.

 

pj   

[[...]]

Hi pj no imentnew baby child, iam 13 months off now ihave a lot of stress more than any time iam still ok bat got anexity last couple dayes idontknow that that from the stress or thats some symptomes hit me

 

[[...]]

Hi hoda,

 

It is really good to hear from you again.  One of the greatest joys in life is a new baby, congratulations to you. 

 

Having a new baby and taking care of your store is bound to cause you some anxiety, and lots of stress.  You've been off for 13 months now, and have been doing so good, that I think the new baby and your work is raising your anxiety, not any new symptoms.

 

You take care my friend, and give that newborn child a hug from me   I wish you and yours all the very best in life. 

 

pj

 

[[...]]

thanks my brotherit seems like I have a kind of depressionI never had before, and it's make me have a really bad fearafter all this time of being goodso I don't know if it's just stress or stress and a bit of the withdraw mixed.

[[...]]

You're probably right, hoda.  It could be a mixture of the added stress in your life and withdrawals that are causing you to feel depressed.  It's possible to have a new symptom, even after 13 months free. 

 

Try to think about the things in your life that make you happy, and before you know it, the depression will go away, just like your other symptoms have.  You were doing so good, hopefully any new symptom will not last too long. 

 

I hope you write your success story when you feel that you are ready to.  People need to read the success stories of others so they know that folks do recover from their benzo experience. 

 

Have a great day, hoda

 

pj 

 

 

[[...]]

Pi, thxmy friend , yea iwas almost compeletly normal but igotalot of stress no body can take ithink it brought som set back , ihate depressing but iam sure it will go soon

[[...]]

Pi, thxmy friend , yea iwas almost compeletly normal but igotalot of stress no body can take ithink it brought som set back , ihate depressing but iam sure it will go soon

 

You're welcome, hoda   

 

I hope your stress and depression let up real soon so you can enjoy that new baby in your family.  It's hard when you feel completely normal and then you have a set back.  I've had a few of those, so I understand.  Hang in there.  You are a strong, determined young man.  Everything will get better for you one of these days.

 

pj

 

[[...]]

Pj, is this set back meaning iwill suffer Rome this seems symptoms ihad before and  this long time or its stay little and leave and when u got ur set back wich month

[[...]]

Pj, is this set back meaning iwill suffer Rome this seems symptoms ihad before and  this long time or its stay little and leave and when u got ur set back wich month

 

Hoda, when I was about a year off, I thought I was completely recovered, but then a lot of my muscle pain came back for around a month, and then it disappeared for good.  All my symptoms have been gone now for almost a year.

 

I don't have a crystal ball to predict the future, but I think the set back or wave, that you are having now is not going to last very long, and you will be completely healed before too much longer. 

 

It is best for you not to think about your symptoms too much, because eventually they will all be gone and you will be happy and satisfied, living your life and loving your family in a very special way.

 

Your friend

 

pj     

[[...]]

Pj, thx my friend

[[tu...]]

PJ:

 

Your words to Hoda were very helpful to me this morning.  I have been feeling a lot better lately, then last night had to go to a school meeting.  Super bright overhead flourescent lights and lots of people I have never met before in a place I have never been got my symptoms revved up.  I contemplated leaving the meeting at one point, but decided to hang on and eventually it got more manageable.  It got me a little down.  While I still get symptoms, they haven't been that strong in a couple months.  When they do get that strong it triggers my fear/anxiety.  I hate it!  It makes me feel like a basketcase.  So silly that something as mundane as a school meeting can get all that going, but it does.  I hit the one year off Ambien mark on Sunday (2/10).  I took heart in hearing you tell Hoda that you had some flare ups at that point, but not much later it ALL just went away and never returned.  I pray that happens for me one day.  I desperately want to be fully functionable again and be able to take it for granted and just go about my life without the fear that I will "fall apart".

 

Hoda:

 

Congratulations on your new baby!  I wish you and that baby every blessing.  Parenthood is the best, but it does come with a lot of stress.  Particularly in the beginning when sleep is so fractured and hard to come by.  Fatigue alone could be making your symptoms rev up.  Even now, when I get a crappy nights sleep my symptoms are heightened.  I am sure it will settle down.  Try to enjoy it the best you can.  These are some of the sweetest days and it goes by all to fast (my oldest is graduating from high school this year - it seems like last year she was starting kindergarten; seriously!).

 

 

[[ho...]]

Happy Valentine's Day PJ!!

 

Thank you for your continued support here.  It is very much appreciated

XOX