Does the self esteem heal?

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wow - holly i was just sitting her trying to think of what kind of thread i could start to get some support for how bad i feel.  i am all full of the strangeness and then i get into how much my life sucks and that leads to how little action i take..and bam i am so bummed out-even tho i am actually working thru this

 

your post helped me a lot. just getting thru these days are an accomplishment and i will get well from what folks wrote.thanks holly

i am really having a tough time

but i just celebrated 3 months benzo free yesterday

guess i thought i would be not feeling so crazy by this point

if anyone has a chance write to me on my blog ok

having a tough tough time sorry to say

thanks so much

 

[[Ho...]]

wow - holly i was just sitting her trying to think of what kind of thread i could start to get some support for how bad i feel.  i am all full of the strangeness and then i get into how much my life sucks and that leads to how little action i take..and bam i am so bummed out-even tho i am actually working thru this

 

your post helped me a lot. just getting thru these days are an accomplishment and i will get well from what folks wrote.thanks holly

i am really having a tough time

but i just celebrated 3 months benzo free yesterday

guess i thought i would be not feeling so crazy by this point

if anyone has a chance write to me on my blog ok

having a tough tough time sorry to say

thanks so much

 

Aww, Pan :hugs: I'm having a rough time too - approaching 4 months off. It feels much, much longer than that. I am such an impatient person and this "healing" process is taking its toll on everything. (I say healing in quotes because there is no healing I know of that takes this incredibly long... except for this we are dealing with ) But we are healing. These last 2 days have been okay for me, but before that it was another horrible wave. I not only get sooo angry at myself, but I also get soo angry at everyone else. Anyway, I hope you get a window soon. hang in there

 

Holly

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holly babe guess what?????  i am in a 3 day window where i was about 85% completely normal and happy and myself and all that fear and insanity was gone so i am so hopeful again and i am in month 4 and i even went back to my school tonight and judged a lip sync for for homecoming and was blasting the car stereo with the sun roof open...

this will be a distant memory babe.  we are DEFINETELY HEALING.  that benzo nightmare tells us so many lies....xoxoxo

 

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Jittery how long did you wait to reinstate that 1 mg of K after a c/t? I ended up in a c/t type scenario after a 4 week taper from 2 months use, totaling three months use. I smoked pot thinking it was safer than beer and I went in to withdrawals and then I took a few rescue doses that screwed me up and put me into this c/t state. I am suffering as much as someone who was on it for years.

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oh drak sorry u r going thru this.  i am thinking of u.  i am in aa so i can't smoke pot or drink and i was wishing i could but now i am glad i didn't

u will be ok;  keep holding on.  i luv u dude. in a 3 day window and i was in a nightmare for weeks.

[[Be...]]

Hopefully a healthy self esteem comes back. I am a very confident person in general, but this crap has really cramped my style. It doesn't help that some wonderful opportunities have recently arisen in my life I'm not fit to take anything on right now. Don't feel the "zest" for living lol.

 

Drak- hold on. Sorry to hear you are still deep in the bowels of benzo BS. I'm still totally screwed up too (and I am back in school... ... ...)

 

 

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Hopefully a healthy self esteem comes back. I am a very confident person in general, but this crap has really cramped my style. It doesn't help that some wonderful opportunities have recently arisen in my life I'm not fit to take anything on right now. Don't feel the "zest" for living lol.

Not trying to be rude in any way, just trying to figure out your screen name. That said, I know what zona means <grin> but not zolo.  But that's not really what this is about.  I agree, if a healthy self esteem pre-existed the benzos, there should be no reason it won't return, the only question is when.  Granted there may be some additional scars attached, but fundementally I belive who you were, you get back to with the addition of a deeper compassion and patience.  

 

I understand about wonderful opportunities arising and not being prepared to take them on.  I have a similar situation.  It's disappointing and frustrating, like a gift just out of your reach.  However, and I don't know this but I believe this, there will also be wonderful opportunities that arise when you ARE ready.  And knowing where you've been before, they will be appreciated that much more.  In fact, I also believe things that didn't seem to be positives while in this state, when back to who you are will bring more pleasure and joy, specifically because of having gone through this.

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i am almost at 5 months out right now and still struggling many days.  some days i can barely talk stil.  but i can notice little things showing up; like i am going to call my neighbor and ask him to help me fix my mail box and i can do it without crying

my depression gives me low self esteem; a sx of dep of course.

i am still hopeful on this issue

and oh i called a couple friends last night just to chat!  how about that; but today nothing much exists for me.

what an ordeal

so glad we are getting thru it.  and we are getting thru it.

amazed at its magnitude boy;