hello

[[Ki...]]

Hi,

  Was reading your replies and it is great not to be alone in this. No one understands. Am Bipolar II.  And have to stay on my BP meds. Has anyone here got off bezo and stayed on BP meds? Wonder if it is worth it? I know it is, just wonder about the real difference it will make when K is gone. Have to wait to start titration after vacation to Chicago. Come back 08/19/2011. Want to start right after that. Not sure what is a good taper plan. Would like to go back work. Have been out for two months for thyroid issues. Still getting that in order. Anyway, have bought the 100ml cylinder and not sure what is a good start. Am at .75mg of K right now. Have been at this for two weeks. Don't want to go too fast. Did

 

[[Ki...]]

My laptop froze up,so did not finish message. could someone tell me what a good taper plan should be. May want to do .5mg and then do .25mg next taper. What do you think?

 

Kittie

[[Ni...]]

My laptop froze up,so did not finish message. could someone tell me what a good taper plan should be. May want to do .5mg and then do .25mg next taper. What do you think?

 

Kittie

 

Hi Kittie,

 

That sounds kind of fast. Have you heard of the Ashton Manual? It has a lot of good information in it with tapering advice. Here is a link:

 

www.benzo.org.uk/manual/

 

Also, there is a Taper Section here at BB where you can ask buddies what worked for them and what didn't.

 

Both of these things have helped me figure out my own plan of action...but also check it out with your doctor.

 

Hope you are having a great day.

[[Ki...]]

Hi Nicolette,

  Yeah I figured that out after I found this site. Wanted to get as much off before trying to go back to work. Not the best choice. Withdrawal symptoms have been getting more each day. The sleep thing is the hardest. Wasn't sleeping much before. Oh well. My pdoc knows, is not happy about it. Thinks it will upset my BP treatment. Have had the same pdoc for 20 years. He is not helping me with this. but I did tell him, just in case something happens. He will want me to reinstate to a higher dose of K. K does not help me any more.  Think I have had tolerance symptoms for awhile. Even though am on Lamictal and Trileptal. Hope it it will make a difference. Have looked at Ashton Manual. Will reread it. And check here. Have decided to stablize at .75mg for a while after trying going back to work I think. Then if will start to do it slowly. not sure can go back to work. Really love it, the stress is pretty high. Will take care of my daughter in that case can not go back. Have read  K and lamictal is a bad como to take. The more I learn, more know it is so scary this all is. It is well kept secret to the world. Hell is more like it.

 

Kittie

[[Ki...]]

Hi Box,

  Your story is amazing to me. hope will be brave enough to thru with this. Today was thinking of reinstating back to 1mg. But my husband said no. Will if really need to. Won't do today. Each day is an adventure to say the least. Glad he is on board with this. but he does not know  what this feels like. That is frustrating. Know have a long way to go. Having you guys is my salvation.

 

Kittie

[[Ka...]]

Hello Kittie,

 

So glad you found BB.  There is a lot of support here, as you can see.

 

I too am a long-time benzo user, and last night was my final dose.  I am free after 26+ years!  Nothing, absolutely nothing, can stand in your way if you really want to be off the benzo.  I had made up my mind from the beginning to push through no matter what. I believe God guided me to this forum, and He has supplied me with a lot of courage and determination.  

 

I too am starting to plan a vacation.  My husband wants to go away for 5 weeks.  It is  also a business trip as we have a condo in Florida and haven't seen  it in over a year.  I did mention to hubby recently that we should see it before long.  I'm a bit nervous to go away for so long and so soon after withdrawing, but am sure that all will work out.

 

Our spouses can't know how it really feels to be on this crazy ride, but my husband does have some clues now. He is a true believer that benzo w/d is not a walk in the park!    

 

One good piece of advice hubby gave me was to quit a little sooner than I had planned, about 3 weeks earlier, so I decided that last night would be my last dose.  I also had temptations to updose, but resisted.  I can understand if you feel you must, but if you can hang in there, it will get better.  Symptoms might get worse for awhile, but in time they will be a distant memory.

 

Kat

 

 

 

[[Ki...]]

Hi Kat,

      So glad  you posted. Good for you. Your last dose. That is so exciting. Will keep you in my prayers. Hearing others gives me hope. Everyday is it's own challenge. Have a 5 year old daughter going to kindergarden in 2 weeks. It has been hard on her. Have some other medical issues to deal with too, etc. Oh well,  no one said this would be easy. Feel like God led me to this site also. Was just doing some research on my other meds I take for Bipolar II and read about the benzos and what they really are. Never would have thought about it. Feel God was showing me this for my life. Especially with my daughter. We adopted her from China. She is such a blessing. So beautiful. Want to be able to see her grow up with joy and wonderment. Want my family back. it has been difficult for us for a couple of years now.  Is amazing that so many of us just took it and live with this half life. Feel like have been in trouble in my mind for some years now. Could not put my finger on it. My husband is supportive, but like you said no one knows what it is like.  Today is a good day. Small miracles. Hope all goes well for you. Please let me know. It is nice to be able be in touch with folks like you.

 

Take care.

Kittie (really Jen)

 

Kittie was the only name I could think of at the time and remember at the time.

 

[[Ka...]]

Hi Kittie,

 

It's a new direction that you've started to take in your wish to be free, and you will find life changes, and for the better.  It can be difficult at times, but  the end results are worth it.  I started lorazepam when our children were entering into their teens..a rather chaotic time to put it mildly. I can see in your message that you likely are going through tolerance withdrawal that happens when your body gets used to the benzo and needs more to "function" in the way it was used to.  It's quite an insidious drug.

 

Its' great that you have a a good day.  I hope today finds you feeling well.  Your family will come back...your daughter will flourish, and you will find a new beginning.    Thank you Jen, you're in my prayers too!

 

Take care,

Kat 

 

 

 

 

 

[[le...]]

Congrats on making this tough decision - Ive been on K for 16 years and I def need to get off. Started taper yesterday -

 

Beeper mentioned:

 

While waiting up to 3 weeks between reductions would probably be okay, it's not a good idea to wait much beyond that time.

 

Is this true? Do you guys feel 3 weeks is better vs a month? will the body re-condition to the new amount?

 

Thanks!

[[sh...]]

I held for two weeks when I first started tapering. The withdrawal effects seemed too much for me, so I started holding for three weeks and that worked pretty well, but that is just me. Some can hold for one week and be okay to do another cut, some have to wait another week or two. I would try to follow the rule of holding for at least 7-14 days and see how that treats you. If you feel you need to hold a little longer, then that's perfectly fine. You might not stabilize on a certain dose, so try not to hold too long, as you would be prolonging healing.

[[Ki...]]

Kat and Saneb,

    Thank you all for you advice and encouagement. Have a serious issue with my thyroid. Not sure what will happen with that. This is why am holding at this level. Decided to start bezo taper even though this thyroid issue is going on. Not sure it was the right thing to do, but when is a good time. Have reduced K level by .5mg in the last month.  It has been not that bad, but am at home. Off of work for the thyroid problem. Do not know if will be able to go back to work. My health and family are more important to me. Love being at work. It gives me structure to my day. But never know what each day brings. Folks who work and do this at the same time. Really brave of them.  Guess I want it all. God is the one in charge, not me. Need to remember that.  Thank you for including me in your prayers. 

 

Kittie

 

[[Be...]]

Congrats on making this tough decision - Ive been on K for 16 years and I def need to get off. Started taper yesterday -

 

Beeper mentioned:

 

While waiting up to 3 weeks between reductions would probably be okay, it's not a good idea to wait much beyond that time.

 

Is this true? Do you guys feel 3 weeks is better vs a month? will the body re-condition to the new amount?

 

Thanks!

 

Just

FYI, I based that opinion on this from the Ashton Manual 2011 update:

 

"Some people hit a "sticky patch" during the course of benzodiazepine withdrawal. In many cases, staying on the same dose for a longer period (not more than a few weeks) before resuming the withdrawal schedule allows them to overcome this obstacle. "

 

 

[[Ki...]]

Thanks Beeper. Am so glad you all are. Am on vacation, so didn't reduce my dosage right now. Don't want to wait, but want to have a nice vacation with my family. First time I have been  on vacation in a year. It is great so far. One day. Each good day is wonderful.

 

Kittie

[[Pa...]]

Hi Kittie,

 

Are you back from your vacation yet?

[[Ki...]]

Hi Pam,

  Yes. Came back yesterday. Was really nice to see my Teresa and her cousin Amelia play together. They became fast buds. Will start to do my titration tonight: .75mg in a 100 ml cylinder. Just 1 mil a day. And see how I feel. Read it is easier than cutting. Wanted to cut some more before titration. Have more control over process.  Am a bit scared, but know can't hold forever. So here I go. My daughter goes to kindergarden on Monday. And hope will be able to be there for her. Hard to see her go.  This withdrawal process is so hard on my family. Life is happening everyday and feel like am on the fringe. Am looking forward to the day when I will be in the middle of it. Am trying to be in it now. Have "windows" sometimes. Know just started, but it seems so long already. Guess that is how it is. it is so slow, but it is the way to go. Feeling sorry for myself tonight. I hate this K so much.. Have read so many stories of success. Want me to be one of them. Will be with BB's and God. My family is supportive, don't have clue what it is like. Have a sister who is a psychologist.  She knows what am doing, but think she is not really sure I need to do this. Hard to make them understand why. Don't feel like I can talk to them about it. They know in case some thing happens. Fallback or whatever. Anyway, Thanks for checking on me. Hope you are doing well. Will let you know how it goes.

 

Kittie (Jen)

[[Pa...]]

Hi Jen,

 

It sounds like you're ready to do this, well as ready as any of us can be.  We understand how difficult it is, even if those around you don't, so please rely on us, we'll be here with you every step of the way.

 

Let us know if you have questions, and just know that you'll be a success story too. 

[[Ki...]]

Hi,

  Does that sound like a good titration plan?

 

Kittie (Jen)

[[Be...]]

Your titration plan looks good to me, especially starting out at 1ml/day and adjusting depending on how you feel.  You are good to go!

[[Ki...]]

Thanks. Today was my Teresa's first day of kindergarden. Awsome day, but sad too. She loves it. So far so good. Third day out. Not much to report, Sleep is scarce. Thanks for being here. This is the hardest thing for me. Doing this and my daughter starting school. Hope to be really there after this is over. Over meaning whenever. No timeline. Just want to be there for my family.

 

Jen (Kittie)

[[Pa...]]

I'm glad your daughter is enjoying her first day, that's much better than her crying and hanging onto your leg like my daughter did when I tried to put her in preschool.  :'(  You're doing great, and don't worry, you'll be there for your family, you'll feel like yourself once you're off the drug and healed from it's effects. 

[[Ki...]]

Have decided to slow down taper because having some withdrawal symptoms: depression, agoraphobia, flu like stuff, anxiety, etc. think is from coming down too quick from before. thing thyroid stuff is not helping either. Anyway, am still trying to be hopeful.

[[Ki...]]

Saw pdoc today. Has helped me have a life for 20 years. Have BP II .  Am on so many meds, hard to know what is doing what. But still think getting off K is the right thing. Hope that it will work. It is such a blessing for BB to be here. Hope that all folks are doing ok. You all are in my prayers.

 

 

 

[[Ki...]]

Hi,

  Am new here and kind of a shy person.  Have been afraid to post to introductions before. Just not a good writer. but here it goes. Have been on K for 20 years. Had no idea of what it was or what it could do. Started my water titration last week. I'm starting to get so scared of this thing. This process. Thanks to all the folks who have said hello and offered encouragement/advise. Hope to talk to other folks too. BB is a godsend. Have read so many stories. Each one shows me how brave folks are. Am not feeling brave right now myself.  Have a thread somewhere, but not sure where it is.

 

 

[[NY...]]

Hi Kittie,

 

Welcome to BB.  You will find a lot of support on this site from some remarkable people. 

 

Take care,

NYClady

[[Ki...]]

Have added a introduction thread to Intro part of the forum. Not sure how to get it in one place.

 

thanks