those who have jumped- a survey

[[Ho...]]

Well I guess I'm unique but so far for me the taper was MUUUCCHH worse than wd.

I'm sure that has a lot to do with the fact that I was in very painful tolerance wd the entire time I was taking Klonopin though.

 

Strange because I was in Klonopin tolerance w/d for a year, as soon as I made a cut back then, the tolerance broke and I was more functional.

 

We differ so differently.

 

 

No that's what I was saying Sigma, as soon as I started my quick taper and eventually got off I felt much better.

[[no...]]

I am starting the last part of the taper tomorrow- .125 titrated. In a few days I leave for 2 wks away solo, and 2 wks later start a new job. As I sit here at work- its been a very hard day with panic and general wanting to jump out of my skin. But I am still here, worse for wear, but at work...I wish Shatje the best, and all others like Thunder who are newly off. I think its pretty much a rollercoaster ride that has no map- just hang in there and soon this will be a memory for all.

 

[[Ma...]]

People who c/t have it much worse than those that taper IMO.  I tapered for a year and have always remained functional in that I could walk, needed no assistance with physical care, could always pay bills, do housework, drive, grocery shop and cook.  It's not just about warding off seizures or psychosis it is about keeping going with daily business.

 

I have talked to several folks who went c/t and couldn't do anything ... that would be so devastating to me as I need to care for myself and be independent in order to feel good about me and what I'm doing.  So the taper is an adjustment period really and I fully agree that people should make preparations for the eventuallity that they may remain sick for a good while although always hoping for the best.

 

I wonder what it would be like to slide off this drug unaffected? ... those folks have no idea what adventure they've missed out on.  This is a front row seat to a drama of a lifetime.  

 

For those about to come off ... acknowledge the fear and go forward anyways.  You are much stronger than you think you are.  Warrior on!!!  

 

 

Very very well said !!  I too was able to work the entire taper. My Sx were minimal during my taper which allowed me to function in daily life w/o too much trouble.

[[Ni...]]

That's the spirit Whoopsie!...what a great attitude about life.

 

*Mal, one small note about why someone would cold turkey. Some people don't cold turkey on purpose.

 

They run out and are stuck can't afford it, their doctor advices them that they can just stop taking, their doctor shuts them off, they are getting it off the street, etc.

 

I have heard of people who forget to list it as a med when they go for surgery (because they didn't know it was addictive) then they end up in w/d in the hospital because they haven't been taking it. Especially I have heard this about elderly patients.

 

 

[[ma...]]

Nicolette,

 

I probably should have made myself more clear.  I'm not talking about people who aren't aware that they're involuntarily addicted.  I'm referring only to people who at some point realize the danger of benzos, know they have to get off of them, and choose to cold turkey because they just want to be done with it. 

 

Mal

[[Ni...]]

Mal,

 

Ok, I get that. I was thinking about all the poor souls who haven't found benzo withdrawal forums...I misunderstood what you were thinking.

[[da...]]

It was better for me after I jumped. I was only on the drug 2 months and am 2 months free of it.

I've had my bad days but the taper was worse, everything felt worse during the taper..

 

Hope this helps

 

LP, what symptoms have you felt after you jumped, and for how long?  The ringing in my ears is almost constant today.  Still have the depression, but not as bad as yesterday afternoon.  My taper was pretty bad too, but I never felt good while taking the drug, so I'm figuring I was taking too much, although it was a small dose--.5 or .25, but I'm very sensitive to meds, so that was probably a big dose for my system.  Just knowing I'm off this drug makes me feel better...

 

Daisygirl

 

[[Ma...]]

I tapered following a reinstatement which followed a taper.  I haven't been able to drive in all that time (over a year), but have been able to do some work from home and cook, clean and do some yard work at times.  This has been much harder than I thought it would be.  I read what Whoopsie wrote about everything she was able to do all this time and I am amazed!  I can't imagine, FOR ME, what it would have been like if I had cold turkeyed this last time...who can possibly know?

 

And MARK----   don't be such a stranger!

[[Gr...]]

so guys...if i'm on 2.5 now,  i may aswell jump cos its gonna be hell either way...right or wrong?

i've got a week off work so i'm figuring i want to give it a try.

Anyone used olanzapine to help with withdrawals?

[[Mi...]]

so guys...if i'm on 2.5 now,  i may aswell jump cos its gonna be hell either way...right or wrong?

i've got a week off work so i'm figuring i want to give it a try.

 

If I were in your shoes, I would not jump at 2.5.  I tapered Valium and once I got below 2, I started to feel much, much better.  I tapered down to .5 and jumped and was feeling pretty good by the time I took my last dose.  It's up to you, of course.  But, I'd hate for you to jump too soon and find yourself in a sticky situation.

 

Tapering was far and away worse for me than post benzo.

[[Sc...]]

GreenTea,

 

I agree w/ Missy.  It was actually the 2mg mark where I started to feel better.  I'm glad I didn't jump there.  From 2mg down i started to feel things lift more and more...so I'd be patient.  It won't hit everyone the same...I had a hard time initially but a lot of that I know was mental and FEARING what may or may not happen. 

 

All the best,

Schatje

[[as...]]

My physical symptoms were the worst during my taper, but I managed very well. Those really went away towards the end of my taper.

 

My mental symptoms and adrenaline surges were worst at the end-- When I got down to 1.25mg Valium until when I jumped through about 12 weeks off (total of a 16 week period) was my worst in that I had bad fear, crying, obsessive thoughts, depression, anxiety, etc.

 

But I pushed through. I made it, and you will too! 

 

Also, it never gets worse than the worrying about whether it will get worse, so if you are already worrying about it getting worse, it's not going to because you are already at your worst. Does that make sense? 

[[Gr...]]

Cheers!

Well done for getting off them.

Reading your notes gave me some reassurance.

I'm finding it hard enough at the moment i.e I am at my worst as you say.

I guess I should, not should..I WILL keep and open mind ad stick to reduction. Will get rid of all sleeping tablets while I'm off work this week as there will be no stress..after that 2mg, 1 and half mg, then 0.5...then off.

If all goes to plan I could be taking my LAST benzo.

Crikey, what a thought

 

  hope to be  at the end of this, same as everyone on this forum

[[Ni...]]

I'm happy for you Green Tea, it looks like you have been working long and hard on a slow taper...I bet it's getting exciting for you 

 

Cheers to you!

[[Gr...]]

GreenTea,

 

I agree w/ Missy.  It was actually the 2mg mark where I started to feel better.  I'm glad I didn't jump there.  From 2mg down i started to feel things lift more and more...so I'd be patient.  It won't hit everyone the same...I had a hard time initially but a lot of that I know was mental and FEARING what may or may not happen. 

 

All the best,

Schatje

 

Thank you for sharing that with me Schatje and Missy.

Sometimes when read through the forum and see everything is awful for them it scares me.

I have had 2 depressive episodes in my life, at 21 years old and one when I was about 34-35. The latter breakdown was really harsh. I don't think I really understood that was what it was, I thought I had a neurological thing wrong and I asked my doctor to refer me. I was experiencing severe anxiety. I had burnt out.

Not even one year of recovery from that and I've taken benzo's every day since September 2009...crazy hey!!!!

Still, i find it helpful to back track and reflect...that's OK if its balance but my problem is being stuck in to ruminating.

I should take a day at a time and cultivate my better qualities and I could have a bright future!?!?

ever the pessimist, you never know whats going to happen, I can only set my own goals, which I've thought through.

I would like to get fitter, cycling, running, yoga, swimming...I will need to encourage myself because I have been feeling tired all the time.

 

Roll on 2mg, that's my next stop...I'll update later when I've checked my tablets.

 

Sorry to ramble. I used to writing on my progress blog  

 

[[Gr...]]

I'm happy for you Green Tea, it looks like you have been working long and hard on a slow taper...I bet it's getting exciting for you 

 

Cheers to you!

 

That's very intuitive to say I must be excited. I am, all my friends and family have been so worried about me.

It's not fair to them or me to turn back now.

 

I think I will come back and read your post again if I am having a tough day. I don't think I realised there was any excitement.

 

I'm sure it will great to have a good nights sleep without all the different sleeping tablets.

and not to be getting the pins and needles, feeling numb and spaced out, hand shaking and all the other stuff, thinking this will all end badly. Just need to prompt myself to be open, not too hard on myself, take it as it comes and don't expect miracles.

 

Theres been a few situations in my life where I thought I knew what was going to happen. I wont set myself up this time.