those who have jumped- a survey

[[no...]]

holy crap!!!

I had no idea when I posted this thread what would happen.

I am wishing now I had not started a thread of doom. I am myself a week or so from the big leap. And this is my third attempt.  I have succeeded in jumping each time, but never hung in there longer than 8 wks. I am in it for the duration this time, whatever it brings. I can say from real experience that a couple weeks post benzo things did intensify for me, and I am not kidding myself that this time will be any different.  I agree that I wish those who have jumped and managed ok were around to post.  That is something I think it is important to keep in mind. I first read this site in 2009, and again when jumping in 2010. I have seen a great turnover in the membership- which leads me to believe people get through this and move on, and we will also.

I don't know what the next weeks will bring benzo-related, but I do know I am starting grad school and a new job come september, about 3 wks post benzo. I plan to be there plugging away.  I have not called out a day from work or school for benzo taper, and while its a possibility, I know its useless to focus on the what if.

Ok. We should all take a look at the success stories- people do recover, and disappear from BB- because they are getting back to life and facebook.

Susan

[[Sc...]]

Amano...thank you.

 

northofhere...I know you had no clue this would start. lol  I think at the end of the day, a lot of us are very sensitive and vulnerable - me included.  It's good to hear the truth...but "happy stories" are preferred.    I too go to the Success Stories.  I had to walk away from the computer tonight after being in tears...and I thought to myself about all the GOOD stories I've read on this forum.  People who feel good only days out...or weeks out...and don't get hit w/ bad s/x once finished their taper.  Things only get better. 

 

So I PROMISE I'll be on here to tell my good story...fingers crossed (and toes) it happens sooner than later.

 

ALL the best to you all,

Schatje

[[NY...]]

Dear Susan,

 

Your last post made me laugh and I haven't laughed in a while.

 

NYClady

P.S.  I think it's a very good thread and hope that some positive stories will find there way here.

[[NY...]]

Dear Schatje,

 

Congratulations are your accomplishment and determination.  I pray that you will be one of those positive stories we hear about on this thread. 

 

However, no matter what happens, we will be here for you!

 

Take care,

 

NYClady

[[re...]]

OMG!!!!!  I am totally freaked out!!!  I would think a slow taper is giving our mind and body less of the poison to not shock our cns when we jump.  I know that when I was on 6mg of K and did a 75% reduction that I was BED RIDDEN for two months and 2 emergency visits.  Is there a chance I can be that BAD again???  If so, why the hell dont I just jump now.

 

I just dont know.............  I want to believe the people that successful had a soft landing are going on with their lives.  And I do agree, they should but DAMN, I have been at this since December, I dont want to drag this out longer if this is what happens. 

 

[[Bi...]]

Hi Susan -

 

I am three months yesterday and it does get a lot better.  I had some rough times this last month but talked to a lot of people who had a similar experience before getting a lot better shortly after.  I'm glad to hear you are in it for the duration.  I failed at tapering for the same reasons three times before finally pushing through - now I'm reaping the rewards.  It is worth it.  I went out last night and had some wine and a nice evening with friends.  I exercised today and am ready for work tomorrow.  This is a huge change from the last two months.  Although scary, I agree it's better to know s/x could happen so you're not blindsided and think something is terribly wrong if they do.  I've lived it and it does get a lot better.  Hang tough and good luck!!

 

Best, Billwill

[[am...]]

a more diverse array of stats are available here

 

http://www.benzosupport.org/survey_contents.htm

 

 

 

http://www.benzosupport.org/recovery_times.htm

 

 

 

 

[[Sc...]]

Thanks, Amano...interesting read.

[[Fl...]]

Definitely post-benzo. I was frazzled during my short taper but it wasn't until I was a couple of months off that I got slammed with the debilitating symptoms. The really nasty stuff seemed to last for an eternity but in reality it was only a few months. When I hit 5 months off I turned a huge corner and now at 6.5 months off I still have a ways to go but I feel like an entirely different person.

[[Ho...]]

Well I guess I'm unique but so far for me the taper was MUUUCCHH worse than wd.

I'm sure that has a lot to do with the fact that I was in very painful tolerance wd the entire time I was taking Klonopin though.

[[fi...]]

I was taking 4mg of K a day and 60mg of Cymbalta and I dropped 1mg every 2 weeks and dropped the Cymbalta in the last 2 weeks as well and was done in two months. At the time I did not know about this site and only found this site after a month went by and started having symptoms and went looking for answers. At first after reading everyone's post I thought that was a fast taper and I was going to be worse off than people who tapered really slowly.

 

After reading alot of the posts though you really cant tell the difference. I have read alot of posts of people who have taken alot less for a shorter amount of time and tapered over a long period just as bad off as me and vice versa. Is this site somewhat flawed because your getting only getting one side of the story and not hearing alot of the great stories of people who came off and are fine....Yes but at the same time I think its such a personal choice and honestly and truthfully after all of the posts I have read, I really do not think it makes a difference whether you c/t or taper quick or taper slow in terms of healing time. Maybe it makes a difference in the severity of symptoms but again that can be hard to compare as well. I think this is a personal choice of what each person can handle and their mindset. I know for me looking back and knowing what I know now I wouldnt change a thing I did especially after reading all the posts of people who are tapering over months and months and sound just as bad off as I do at times.

 

I would have to say that physically the taper was worse than it has been during post benzo but the mental part has been worse post benzo. My whole theory on that though is mentally I was fine during my taper because I physically could look at the pills and tell myself its withdrawal from the drug and I had the evidence in my hands. 4 months out from my last dose and still having symptoms the mental part has been extremely difficult because its hard to convince yourself that little damn pill could be causing all these problems still...

[[Ni...]]

Thanks Amano for those sites, I'm going to check them out later.

 

For someone who has done a CT before I would say do not attempt that ever. That was the worst medical experience I have ever had, very scary and dangerous. Having said that, several months out I felt pretty good.

 

I reinstated 18 months out and it wasn't due to sx's. I was terribly ignorant about alprazolam (Xanax-never heard the word or benzodiazepines) and I thought the withdrawal was due to a combo of the benzo and wine. Not.

 

I went back on due to a tragedy and it is possibly the biggest regret of my life. Since I went back on I have been in tolerance and inter dose w/d, tried to taper myself, on my fourth doc, and finally found this site. Tapering is not easy, I haven't found a doctor to cross me over to V or K, so I'm dry-cut tapering the X. I don't know when I'll jump, but all I can say is, during the time I was off my feelings came back, my energy came back and my joy came back. This will happen again. It will happen for everyone, however they get off, so just hang in there.

[[Ma...]]

dont be afraid guys.

 

I have read many many many posts by people who felt no worse post taper, than they did while tapering. Some have even felt a lot better after the jump.  The people that have had no problems post taper are not posting here because they are out living their lives right now. they have no reason to be here because they are fine!!   The people that are here are the people that are having problems still...for the most part.  So take heed at these stats...take em with a grain of salt.  And whoever would INSTRUCT SOMEONE to go CT over a taper is a freakin danger...unless there is a paradoxical reaction goin on that is horrid...one should NEVER go ct and risk protracted symptoms or worse...

 

 

[[Fr...]]

I've decided to keep a positive outlook because I'm going through enough with withdrawal. I would never do a CT because it could cause seizures. I've read positive posts where people have succeeded and gone on with their lives. 

 

Frannie

[[no...]]

There has been alot of good advice circulating here.  I like Firefly's thinking as far as variation from one person to another.  Each of us has our own set of reasons for starting benzos, different lifestyles, stresses, and ways of coping.  Of course then, each will experience differences when undertaking the benzo free journey.  Some of us will heal faster, some will take longer.  I am glad that while in this- we are in it together. While we may not be able to predict our own future from sharing with others, we can all be there for each other when we need a bit of propping up. Enduring this seems to give a certain measure of compassion, which I see everyday here.

Thanks for the input.

North (Susan)

[Guest [Si...]]

Okay...this thread is not helping me prepare for tomorrow when I take my last dose.   :'(

 

Schatje,

 

I hope you the best!!!

 

[Guest [Si...]]

Well I guess I'm unique but so far for me the taper was MUUUCCHH worse than wd.

I'm sure that has a lot to do with the fact that I was in very painful tolerance wd the entire time I was taking Klonopin though.

 

Strange because I was in Klonopin tolerance w/d for a year, as soon as I made a cut back then, the tolerance broke and I was more functional.

 

We differ so differently.

 

 

[[xe...]]

If post-benzo is significantly worse than this taper for a significant period of time, it'll be worse w/d AFTER a taper than trying to c/t 3mg of K before it 

[[...]]

It was better for me after I jumped. I was only on the drug 2 months and am 2 months free of it.

I've had my bad days but the taper was worse, everything felt worse during the taper..

 

Hope this helps

[[Sc...]]

Frannie...after going to bed terrified, I woke up with the same thoughts as you.  There are so many GOOD stories as well.  We are all on a somewhat different journey...I'll still be scared to take my last dose tonight, but this should be a GOOD thing.   

 

All the best, guys!

Schatje

[[xe...]]

Frannie...after going to bed terrified, I woke up with the same thoughts as you.  There are so many GOOD stories as well.  We are all on a somewhat different journey...I'll still be scared to take my last dose tonight, but this should be a GOOD thing.   

 

All the best, guys!

Schatje

 

This is a collection of the worst horror stories Schatje, don't let it get you down. I would certainly expect things to get a bit worse for a little while but not TOO bad and not for a very long time. The people who are doing well aren't still around to post

 

You gotta go into it with optimism and positivity, ok? If you get worse, don't say OMG I am not going to be able to take it, say yay I am benzo free I am having some symptoms but they will pass and I will be fine...

[[Ma...]]

schatje,

 

You are going to be just fine..you did a very sensible taper...here is what I posted on page 3 of this thread.  I agree with xeno!

 

dont be afraid guys.

 

I have read many many many posts by people who felt no worse post taper, than they did while tapering. Some have even felt a lot better after the jump.  The people that have had no problems post taper are not posting here because they are out living their lives right now. they have no reason to be here because they are fine!!  The people that are here are the people that are having problems still...for the most part.  So take heed at these stats...take em with a grain of salt.  And whoever would INSTRUCT SOMEONE to go CT over a taper is a freakin danger...unless there is a paradoxical reaction goin on that is horrid...one should NEVER go ct and risk protracted symptoms or worse...

 

 

 

You will be in my prayers tonight!!

[[Wh...]]

People who c/t have it much worse than those that taper IMO.  I tapered for a year and have always remained functional in that I could walk, needed no assistance with physical care, could always pay bills, do housework, drive, grocery shop and cook.  It's not just about warding off seizures or psychosis it is about keeping going with daily business.

 

I have talked to several folks who went c/t and couldn't do anything ... that would be so devastating to me as I need to care for myself and be independent in order to feel good about me and what I'm doing.  So the taper is an adjustment period really and I fully agree that people should make preparations for the eventuallity that they may remain sick for a good while although always hoping for the best.

 

I wonder what it would be like to slide off this drug unaffected? ... those folks have no idea what adventure they've missed out on.  This is a front row seat to a drama of a lifetime.  

 

For those about to come off ... acknowledge the fear and go forward anyways.  You are much stronger than you think you are.  Warrior on!!! 

 

[[ti...]]

Hi Shatje, congratulations on getting to the last step. Please try and celebrate the moment. You´ve earned it from dealing with all the hard times from the beginning up to to now. So if you´ve come this far you can go the rest of way and get through the post benzo phase.

 

 

Good luck with life post benzos !

[[ma...]]

I agree with Whoopsie that I was always able to function well enough during my taper.  I was never completely incapacitated like people are after a c/t.  The answer here is obviously a happy medium between c/t and a too-long-and-drawn-out taper.  

 

Speaking for myself, in retrospect, I would not have held any dose for longer than 2 weeks because you never truly stabilize during a taper.  There were a few occasions where I held for 3-4 weeks when I hit a rough patch, but I realize now that was a mistake.  It's best to keep moving because I don't think we really start to heal until this poison's out of our body.

 

But why anyone would choose to c/t is beyond me.  Besides being excruciating, it's life-threatening.

 

Mal