Benzo withdrawal after 3 weeks ?

[[La...]]

Hey guys.. so I have a long history with Benzo’s. I was on them for like 7 years and got completely off of them a little over a year ago. I recently started them again because of severe post partum depression/anxiety. I took my leftover clonazepam off and on for like 2 weeks and then I started Ativan 1 mg once a day. Been on that for like a week. But I tried to stop taking them and omg felt like I was gunna die. Like the agitation, my skin was crawling I couldn’t sit still, my head was pounding, I couldn’t think. I thought I was having an episode of psychosis and was about ready to go check myself in to a looney bin. But I took the Ativan again and now I feel ok just super drunk like it always makes me feel. And it makes my chest feel weird too I think it’s affecting my heart. I also am having SEVERE depression.. like the most severe it’s ever been. Where I want to lay down and not do anything. Just lay and think about how pointless everything is. It’s awful. I think the Ativan is making it worse too. Any recommendations?? Should I continue it or try to stop? Why is it causing bad withdrawals already? This is insane  

[[Cr...]]

Hello @[La...], welcome to BenzoBuddies. 

It sounds like your situation may be a combination of mild dependence, Ativan side effects, and your underlying depression/anxiety from post partum. You have been using Ativan at 1mg a day one week. Prior to that you were using clonazepam off and on for 2 weeks. What dose and how often?

How bad was your PP anxiety prior to going back on benzos?

You may be able to do a quick taper off Ativan, with the rate depending on how the cuts affect you and what you deem tolerable.

I am sorry you found yourself dealing with this situation, especially after giving birth not too long ago.

[[La...]]

Clonazepam I was also taking 1 mg a day (as needed) because my anxiety got really REALLY bad. And then the hospital gave me Ativan and I talked to my psychiatrist about getting more because I know it works the fastest for panic attacks… and yes I’m in a really bad place mentally with the depression and anxiety right now it’s awful. I’ve always had really bad health anxiety and recently had some health scares that made me go to the ER and they couldn’t find anything but I convinced myself I have cancer or something they can’t find like colon cancer 🤦🏼‍♀️ now I’m worried about dying but it’s to the point where I’m so exhausted about the worry that I don’t want to be here anymore. It’s just awful. I feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel and when the Ativan wears off it gets a whole lot worse. 

[[Br...]]

@[La...] Welcome to BenzoBuddies!

 I'm so sorry you're being tormented with post partum anxiety and depression.  It really brings me back to when I was a new mother. I believe pregnancy and the "fourth trimester" hormones can really jack up our anxiety and depression.  The hyper vigilance I felt in those early months exhausted me and made it almost impossible to enjoy that period of time.  I also had horrible fear of dire health issues.  I remember how hard it was and my heart really goes out to you.

3 hours ago, [[L...] said:

I have a long history with Benzo’s. I was on them for like 7 years and got completely off of them a little over a year ago.

Given your history with benzos in my opinion it's likely that kindling is playing a big role in what you're experiencing with Ativan withdrawal. Kindling is a theory that the nervous system has a memory of the past withdrawals. This memory of prior withdrawal still remains imprinted within the nervous system and subsequent withdrawals are worse because the nervous system recalls that it has been sensitized in prior withdrawals.

This doesn't mean you won't heal & recover, it just means your sensitized system is likely making this a bumpy ride for you in terms of withdrawal symptoms like intense anxiety and fearfulness.  It's important to remind yourself that withdrawal symptoms are temporary and will ease up and fade away over time.

As you explore this site you'll find many helpful ideas for coping with withdrawal symptoms without reaching for a pill.  I found that practicing things like good self care, moderate exercise, getting outside in nature everyday, staying well hydrated, eating a healthy diet, avoiding caffeine and alcohol, minimizing sugar, meditation, & breathing exercises all added up to making symptoms more tolerable.  

We're glad you found us.

 

[[La...]]

@[Br...] Any reccomendations for the psychosis? Like earlier I felt so bad so thought I was going completely crazy. Nothing could distract me. I was so agitated and pacing frantically and right before that I felt the lowest I’ve ever felt and thought about ending it all because I couldn’t take it anymore. 

[[Br...]]

@[La...] I'm so sorry you're going through this.  It will get better.  I urge you to read Success Stories to help give you a sense of hopefulness.

Are you taking any other medications?