I can't do this anymore....

[[S_...]]

@[Lu...] I'm sorry your going through this I understand how you feel but it will get alot better as time passes just stay strong 

[[Lu...]]

1 minute ago, [[S...] said:

@[Lu...] I'm sorry your going through this I understand how you feel but it will get alot better as time passes just stay strong 

I’m praying. Life is so fast and I can’t slow it down to get this figured out no one understands this situation and judges me. A lot of people ride it out at home I cannot due to being the bread winner and it’s a lot. What did you use for sleep? 

[[S_...]]

@[Lu...] I know its soo hard no one understand unless they have been through this I did not use anything just resting my eyes was basically sleep to me....but it gradually got better  u will be ok i promise 

[[An...]]

6 hours ago, [[S...] said:

@[An...] and also your Here telling me to confront him ? As if he's gonna admit it ? Ofcourse he won't ! And how the hell was I even suppose to know if he took benzos or not I never saw him taking any pill ! And your here telling me that I'm just guessing ? OK so please tell me what kind of natural illness causes this ? Tell me ? 

I don't know. I have never heard of anything even remotely like this, but I wish you all the best. I often say things that other ppl might be thinking but are afraid to say.  I was not trying to discredit what you are saying but without having taken benzos prior and not seeing someone do this or having someone admit that they were doing this to you, I do not see how someone could reliably determine they are suffering from benzo w/d. 

Peace---

[[Cr...]]

@[S_...], just like @[An...] I was wondering the same thing. It is very possible that your roomate wanted you to relax but usually when someone spikes a drink in secret it is for far more nefarious reasons. 

Do you think your roommate did it because they were trying to get you to experience benzo withdrawal? Were you too anxious and they tried to help you relax? Now the issue is what benzo it was and how much of a dose did you receive. I guess at over 8 months out it doesn't matter at this point.

[[An...]]

3 minutes ago, [[C...] said:

@[S_...], just like @[An...] I was wondering the same thing. It is very possible that your roomate wanted you to relax but usually when someone spikes a drink in secret it is for far more nefarious reasons. 

Do you think your roommate did it because they were trying to get you to experience benzo withdrawal? Were you too anxious and they tried to help you relax? Now the issue is what benzo it was and how much of a dose did you receive. I guess at over 8 months out it doesn't matter at this point.

True... @[Cr...]. If I suspected someone was doing this to me, I would come right out and ask them whether they admitted it or not. Also, if someone gave me one drink and it made me feel weird (super relaxed and drowsy), I sure as heck would not keep drinking the same drink from the person who was making and giving this to me.  I know males are sometimes accused of doing this to females in some cases of date rape.

[[S_...]]

@[An...] OK so your basically telling me that all this is not benzo withdrawal? So what is it then explain please .... so all the mental and physical symptoms I'm experiencing is just a mysterious illness out of no where ? And like I said I did not feel any different when I drank the drink I did not taste or smell anything weird and sometimes when I would feel sleepy I thought it was just me I did not think anything of it....I did not feel high or pass out or anything I don't understand how this could happen but it did and I'm 100% sure it's benzo because what is it then ? How come I'm haveing exactly the symptoms and timeline of people going through the same thing on here then? So all the akathisia, stomach clenching ,loosing weight , almost having a seizure, sound sensitivity, hallucinating for a month straight not being able to eat, delirium, and soo many other symptoms in a matter of a few weeks to a month is because of a natural illness ? Is that what your saying ? I went from a perfectly healthy 27 year old who was independent had everything, went to the gym all the time, full of life and enjoyed life to someone who lost everything my health, relationship and wanted to unalive my self not because I hated life but because I was suffering soo bad from the pain. This all happened  in a matter of weeks to a month ! And what kind of natural illness does that to you ? Not even cancer does that

[[S_...]]

@[An...] and also im not going to confront him as it won't change anything  I'd rather he think his plan failed than take joy in my pain, as he clearly wants to control me by having me chase after him and I'm not going to give him that satisfaction ! 

[[S_...]]

@[Cr...] because he's a controlling manipulative psychopath ! No normal balanced human being could do that to somebody for whatever reason 

[[PE...]]

31 minutes ago, [[S...] said:

@[An...] OK so your basically telling me that all this is not benzo withdrawal? So what is it then explain please .... so all the mental and physical symptoms I'm experiencing is just a mysterious illness out of no where ? And like I said I did not feel any different when I drank the drink I did not taste or smell anything weird and sometimes when I would feel sleepy I thought it was just me I did not think anything of it....I did not feel high or pass out or anything I don't understand how this could happen but it did and I'm 100% sure it's benzo because what is it then ? How come I'm haveing exactly the symptoms and timeline of people going through the same thing on here then? So all the akathisia, stomach clenching ,loosing weight , almost having a seizure, sound sensitivity, hallucinating for a month straight not being able to eat, delirium, and soo many other symptoms in a matter of a few weeks to a month is because of a natural illness ? Is that what your saying ? I went from a perfectly healthy 27 year old who was independent had everything, went to the gym all the time, full of life and enjoyed life to someone who lost everything my health, relationship and wanted to unalive my self not because I hated life but because I was suffering soo bad from the pain. This all happened  in a matter of weeks to a month ! And what kind of natural illness does that to you ? Not even cancer does that

Could i be what's called a wave?

[[S_...]]

@[PE...] pepe I did not understand your question. Are u asking what a wave is ? It's something you experience during benzo withdrawal .. wave is when the symptoms come and window is when u feel normal again...

[[PE...]]

14 minutes ago, [[S...] said:

@[PE...] pepe I did not understand your question. Are u asking what a wave is ? It's something you experience during benzo withdrawal .. wave is when the symptoms come and window is when u feel normal again...

Oh no i know what it is. I mean your problems.

What ever the reason it's not much to do now then to wait it out..

That OCD seems tough.

Edited Thursday at 07:09 by [PE...]

[[S_...]]

@[PE...] yes true I have to wait it out.. but what this guy antibenzo7 is telling me is that all of these  things I'm experiencing is not benzo withdrawal and just some kind of natural illness because he doesn't believe I was spiked.... does that make sense to u?  that a natural illness can do this to a person in a matter of weeks ? 

[[PE...]]

24 minutes ago, [[S...] said:

@[PE...] yes true I have to wait it out.. but what this guy antibenzo7 is telling me is that all of these  things I'm experiencing is not benzo withdrawal and just some kind of natural illness because he doesn't believe I was spiked.... does that make sense to u?  that a natural illness can do this to a person in a matter of weeks ? 

Idk @[S_...]. 

I think @[An...] and others just want to help..

Take care.

[[S_...]]

@[PE...] he's not helping he's giving opinions on something he does not know and not validating what I'm saying It's like some doctors you see now a days  prescribing these dangerous meds thinking they know everything  and not believing what the patient is going through and telling them its all in their heads... u can't say that they are just trying to help... I'm not trying to argue here but if he can't even answer my question then keep his opinion to his self that simple ! I'm already going through enough and come on this website for support I don't need someone telling me that what I'm going through is not real just because my story is different.

[[PE...]]

3 minutes ago, [[S...] said:

@[PE...] he's not helping he's giving opinions on something he does not know and not validating what I'm saying It's like some doctors you see now a days  prescribing these dangerous meds thinking they know everything  and not believing what the patient is going through and telling them its all in their heads... u can't say that they are just trying to help... I'm not trying to argue here but if he can't even answer my question then keep his opinion to his self that simple ! I'm already going through enough and come on this website for support I don't need someone telling me that what I'm going through is not real just because my story is different.

Ok sorry what's your question? Kinda got lost..

[[S_...]]

@[PE...]  he is telling me that what I'm going through is not benzo withdrawal. My question is what is it then ? If it's not benzo then what natural illness causes this ? 

[[PE...]]

28 minutes ago, [[S...] said:

@[PE...]  he is telling me that what I'm going through is not benzo withdrawal. My question is what is it then ? If it's not benzo then what natural illness causes this ? 

OCD right?

 

[[S_...]]

@[PE...] noo we are not talking about ocd right now. He asked what my story is and how I got onto benzos I explained to him and he's saying that I'm just guessing and that this whole thing I'm experiencing is not benzo withdrawal....

[[S_...]]

@[vo...] voluntas your here likeing posts and takeing sides as if u know what's going on ... go ahead give us your opinion then if u know ? 

[[vo...]]

@[S_...]Please don't interpret my likes as taking sides. It's not that at all.  I'm liking both the help as well as people asking you questions to try to help you. It helps me too. :-) 

[[S_...]]

@[vo...] ok I understand but he asked me what my story is and I explained to him and he's saying that I'm just guessing... how would u feel if u were in my place suffering soo much and someone tells u it's not true just because your story is different. 

[[vo...]]

@[S_...] I believe we all have different stories and no two of us have identical stories. This is just a question and food for thought for you...not an accusation or assumption in any way, so please don't take it that way. It's something I deal with ongoing and I have been taught through therapy how to deal with. Is it possible that you are having any sort of paranoia about what could have happened to you? Without going into detail, I've had  experiences that landed me in the hospital. Now, I've learned to make a list with two columns to try to reason and decipher whether something actually happened to me or if I'm having a touch of paranoia going on with me. Is that a possibility for you?

I'm not saying what you said didn't happen to you, but to consider that it's essential to have strategies to differentiate between real experiences and perceived threats, especially when one's mind can sometimes blur those lines. 

[[S_...]]

@[vo...] voluntas I had all the physical symptoms ! I did not even know what benzo was how could I be paranoid of something I did not even know about I had severe delirium, akathisia, burning all over my body, loosing weight , could not eat anything, severe stomach clenching, my stomach felt like it was being squeezed tight, could not eat solids for months !  hallucinations, had to wear ear protection for months because the slightest sound would hurt my ears ! I could not even shower because the water would burn my head and skin ! I had burning sensation all over my head and body  ! My pillow felt like rock, I could not relax ! I almost forgot my own name and what year it was and the list goes on !  Does this sound like paranoia to you ? Please tell me 

[[vo...]]

23 minutes ago, [[S...] said:

@[vo...] voluntas I had all the physical symptoms ! I did not even know what benzo was how could I be paranoid of something I did not even know about I had severe delirium, akathisia, burning all over my body, loosing weight , could not eat anything, severe stomach clenching, my stomach felt like it was being squeezed tight, could not eat solids for months !  hallucinations, had to wear ear protection for months because the slightest sound would hurt my ears ! I could not even shower because the water would burn my head and skin ! I had burning sensation all over my head and body  ! My pillow felt like rock, I could not relax ! I almost forgot my own name and what year it was and the list goes on !  Does this sound like paranoia to you ? Please tell me 

Maybe I missed the answer on this in the entire thread of this conversation - how did you know you were actually given a benzo? Was your roommate prescribed a benzo by a doctor? Do you know the name of the benzo?  Also, as a former user and as it is with most users, we hoard those medications for ourselves and it would be almost inconceivable that we would be willing to even share them with anyone else, never mind trying to spike their drink with them multiple times. Then we would run out before we could get a script refilled for them. Just sayin.....