I can't do this anymore....

[[S_...]]

@[Al...] no I did not because I was not functional at all at that time and couldn't leave my bed and I had no support also there is no way to prove and not worth it I was scared of him coming after me so I just moved back to my parents and focused on recovering and at this point the damage has been done even if he goes to jail that's not gonna change anything.... 

[[S_...]]

@[PE...] he mixed it into my matcha drink that he was makeing for me for 6 weeks... I did not feel any different when I had the drink just felt relaxed but I did not think it would be a drug or something I don't understand how this could happen.... 

[[PE...]]

8 minutes ago, [[S...] said:

@[PE...] he mixed it into my matcha drink that he was makeing for me for 6 weeks... I did not feel any different when I had the drink just felt relaxed but I did not think it would be a drug or something I don't understand how this could happen.... 

Who was he and how do you know it?

[[S_...]]

@[PE...] he was my roommate. I noticed when I stopped having the drink for a week then my symptoms came gradually I started having blurry vision felt like I was loosing my mind was loosing my balance and I thought there was something wrong with me so I went to the hospital they did all the bloodwork and could not find anything.. few days passes then I started getting akathisia that's when I knew I have ingested a psychoactive med and what happened to me and at that time I never ate or drank anything from outside. The matcha was the only thing that I drank constantly for 6 weeks and that's how I knew. I had to move back to my parents because I was not functional at all and almost died.  to this day I still fear for my safety and could not go back to my own place I lost everything....

[[S_...]]

I'm only 27 I really don't wanna die but the damage is soo severe I honestly don't think I can ever bounce back from this...I don't even recognise my self when I look in the mirror it's like a completely different person.. yes I survived but at what cost ? I'm left with severe ocd and emotional bluntness.. I kind of wished I had passed away instantly instead of going through this pain...

[[PE...]]

9 minutes ago, [[S...] said:

I'm only 27 I really don't wanna die but the damage is soo severe I honestly don't think I can ever bounce back from this...I don't even recognise my self when I look in the mirror it's like a completely different person.. yes I survived but at what cost ? I'm left with severe ocd and emotional bluntness.. I kind of wished I had passed away instantly instead of going through this pain...

I'm sorry that you suffering bur that is just how benzo wd feels. Like it's never be ok again.

Ok then you don't really now for sure. And why would he give you benzos? Is he a psykopat?

And what ever the reason you feel like this it's not much to do now then just let it have it course right?

[[S_...]]

@[PE...] i honestly to this day don't know what I did soo wrong to him that he had to do that... if u hate someone soo much just walk out of their life that simple... anyways yea there's not much I can do right now just have to wait till time pass...

[[be...]]

I can't do it either. This is too much for me

 

[[S_...]]

@[be...] don't worry your physical symptoms will go away soon and by the way don't get freaked out by my post what I'm going through right now is normal depression and the mental symptoms are nothing like the ones I had in my acute all my scary symptoms are gone and I have no physical symptoms left. U will be ok my friend I promise just give it some more time 

[[be...]]

3 minutes ago, [[S...] said:

@[be...] don't worry your physical symptoms will go away soon and by the way don't get freaked out by my post what I'm going through right now is normal depression and the mental symptoms are nothing like the ones I had in my acute all my scary symptoms are gone and I have no physical symptoms left. U will be ok my friend I promise just give it some more time 

Usually physical symptoms last much longer. I have read so many stories about so many people. This freaks me out. I can't do it anymore. I can't live like this anymore

[[S_...]]

@[be...] everyone is different just because someone takes longer to heal doesnt mean u will be the same and your acute symptoms will not last long trust me after u pass the acute yes u might have some lingering physical symptoms but it won't be as bad as it is now and it will gradually go away ..give it more time because it will 100% go away  I promise I was exactly where u are 8 months ago and my physical symptoms were soo bad I thought it was last for years... how long are u into your withdrawal? And how long were u on it ? 

[[be...]]

1 minute ago, [[S...] said:

@[be...] everyone is different just because someone takes longer to heal doesnt mean u will be the same and your acute symptoms will not last long trust me after u pass the acute yes u might have some lingering physical symptoms but it won't be as bad as it is now and it will gradually go away ..give it more time because it will 100% go away  I promise I was exactly where u are 8 months ago and my physical symptoms were soo bad I thought it was last for years... how long are u into your withdrawal? And how long were u on it ? 

My brain is electicuted and fried 24/7. My vision is distorted. My head gets tazored when I look at screens. It is hardly getting any better in two months. I don't think it will get any better in a year.

[[S_...]]

@[be...] yes I know exactly how your feeling I also felt like I was constantly being electrocuted i wish I had a video of me to show u how bad my physically symptoms was and during that time  it felt like it will last for years but it all went away.. are u still tapering or cold turkeyed? How long were u on it for 

[[S_...]]

@[be...]By the way my symptoms began after I was 2 months out soo it's normal for u to still have symptoms in 2 months

[[S_...]]

@[be...] my blurry vision and akathisia  started earlier but full blown was when I was 2 months out 

[[An...]]

@[S_...]

I am still confused. How did you discover this? Was this a boyfriend? The only way for you to know he did this to you for 6 weeks would be for him to admit he did this to you IMO? Did he?  I mean how would you know otherwise unless you are guessing? What benzo did he use? How much? Was this put in like an alcoholic drink, and you thought the effects you were experiencing were from the alcohol?

[[S_...]]

@[An...] no it was my roommate. I'm 100% sure it was him and I was spiked with either benzos or some kind of antipsychotic drugs. It was not alchohol it was this green tea called matcha and he used to make it for me everyday for 6 weeks straight I did not feel high or anything when I had the drink it just gave me sense of relaxation but I thought it was just the matcha and did not think anything of it . I found out after stopping the drink for a week that's when blurry vission and delirium hit me but I wasn't sure what it was until I got akathisia and that's how I knew I ingested some kind of psychoactive drug... I was perfectly normal before that drink never even know what benzo or akathisia was ! I never ate or drank anything from outside during that time so I'm 100% sure it was that drink ! I started having all the symptoms people listed on this site akathisia stomach clenching hallucinations sound sensitivity it was the scariest thing I ever experienced I was basically left dead and I almost did not make it ! I'm feeling much better now but left with emotional bluntness and no sense of joy 

[[An...]]

You are still guessing, IMO.  You can not know for sure after reading carefully what you wrote. Why don't you come out and ask this roommate did they do this to you? Was this roommate taking benzos?

[[S_...]]

@[An...] please stop judging something you don't know ! U can't believe it ? Yea I don't believe it either ! I'm already going through enough so please don't trigger me ! If it wasn't benzos what was it then ????? All these physical sensations and mental sensations and not being able to eat for months and getting wave from just drinking water ???? And almost loosing my mind and loosing everything !  U explain to me then ?! What was it The withdrawal was soo bad I almost wanted to end my self ! It was literally like being tortured alive ! And your here telling me that I'm guessing..... what kind of natural illness does this to u You tell me !...? Plz stop saying stuff like this ! This is why people like him get away with these kind of stuff.... 

[[Lu...]]

I feel for you I’m 5 weeks tomorrow and scared from reading these post that you’re 8 months  and still struggling. I’m trying to stay positive but I feel the same way 

[[S_...]]

@[An...] and also your Here telling me to confront him ? As if he's gonna admit it ? Ofcourse he won't ! And how the hell was I even suppose to know if he took benzos or not I never saw him taking any pill ! And your here telling me that I'm just guessing ? OK so please tell me what kind of natural illness causes this ? Tell me ? 

[[S_...]]

@[Lu...] don't be scared all my scary symptoms went away this is nothing like what I went though in acute. your gonna be ok I promise 

[[Lu...]]

How many weeks did it take for you to get some sleep and feel normal again? 

[[Lu...]]

I’m Ct from 6 months of Xanax and I feel the same way. No emotions to anything. So much going on in my life right now feeling very overwhelmed. I just wanna some how sleep so I can focus on what I need to do. I can’t make decisions, nothing is fun, I cannot concentrate. I don’t wanna be around anyone. I’m avoiding gatherings and family and friends. I’m a father of 2 and I cannot even look them in the eyes. 

[[S_...]]

@[Lu...] my sleep got better on the 4th month and it gradually got normal again