Hi new here, just need a little advice if any of you are willing please

[[Pl...]]

I'll try to keep this short but I'm 28 male, and been dependent on klonopin for about 1 year and 3 months now. I never wanted to be on it daily, but stressful life events as well as some of my own stupid decisions with use have led me here and now I'm around 1-1.25 mg per day as maintenance. The thing is, I tried to taper actually during this entire time but kept having life events set me back, the biggest attempt being from about January to late March; where I dropped from about .9 to .5 but I got into a massive argument which sent my body into shock and I had to take extra to calm it down, and I ended up back at 1 mg. Lesson learned the hard way that the brain and body cannot tolerate such high trauma and stress events when you're going through this. This has led me into quite a depression after such a setback in progress and fear of kindling.

 

I've been around this dose for a month and a half now, and I'm still feeling pretty worn out and defeated but I really don't want to be on this stuff daily, I never did. However, I'm not sure if I have the strength to try to taper again right now; and I almost wonder if it's counter intuitive by putting my brain under too much stress trying to do it over and over. 

My question to any of you who are willing, is do you think I should keep holding for a bit longer and recover some vitality, or do you think I should just suck it up and go for tapering again right now? I'd really appreciate the feedback and I hope you're all recovering okay.

My main symptoms the first proper taper attempt were minor muscle spams, mild motor skill funkiness, irritability, insomnia, heightened anxiety and depression. 

 

 

 

[[...]]

@[Pl...], hi and welcome to BenzoBuddies! I hope you'll get all most needed support and advice here.

I'm really sorry for the situation you're in. Benzo can do a lot of mess to us. Unfortunately bad things happen and are hard to avoid, withdrawal or not. It's all so tricky. I think first thing you should decide, having weighed all pros & cons, whether you're ready to make the step towards possible bad time to live through. And if so, then just pull yourself together and, whatever, do it. If it's not an option right now, perhaps it'd be wise to hold for a bit longer but not too long. Benzo long term is really a bad idea. However, in my opinion, unnecessary going up and down its dosage is no better. Really hope other members will soon share their thoughts to the point too. 

Thank you for your thoughts of others. I'm personally doing as much ok as possible in my recovery. Good luck to you!)

[[Pl...]]

[[je...]]

I agree with @[...]. Tapering usually takes quite a long time and it will be impossible to avoid stressors that life throws at you. If you want to get off you’ll have to learn to cope with life and cope with withdrawal at the same time. That’s the reality of this beast. 

The good news is many have done it and it has made us so much stronger on the other end. Ultimately you’re the only one who knows whether you’re mentally and emotionally ready to try this again.