Mental symptoms

[[Ba...]]

How does everyone deal with mental symptoms, doom and gloom, unending depression 

[[Ba...]]

How do you deal with feeling hopeless?  I’ll never heal 

[[jo...]]

I understand these emotions as there probably the worst symptom for me at the moment. I find it difficult to function even basically when there at there worst. People say distract but I find that hard and it doesnt help much anyway. I think lack of sleep compounds things a lot. Are you sleeping much?

[[Ba...]]

I sleep some.  But the mini open my eyes and even before , my thoughts are so hopeless. I sometimes think I don’t have what it takes to survive 

[[jo...]]

I feel like that too sometimes. It's the worst feeling imaginable. Does it ever let up for you? Do you get windows or relief at night time?

[[En...]]

1 hour ago, [[B...] said:

How does everyone deal with mental symptoms, doom and gloom, unending depression 

This is a common symptom I think we all have even if you didn't have mental illness before. 

As it is summer here in Canada I fo outside and sit in the warm sun. I go for daily walks which seems to help. But on very bad days I find it hard to cope and just have to make it through. It always gets better and that reassures me. Keeps me going.

You will get through this. 

[[Ba...]]

Thank you eng101.  I hope I’ll get through this 

[[st...]]

 

It's up and down like a ride on a roller coaster and you can be sure if you go down you will also come up. The whole withdrawal is a process of learning and a chance to grow. It is a necessary and profound spiritual healing.

Distracting allows us to pass the time and passing the time gets us to our destination of calm, peace and health. I advocate audiobooks, listening to them helped me make it through insomnia, depression, intrusive thoughts and the whole damn thing.

Have you ever tried to say "f u" to all those intrusive thoughts (or what I called LIES that the drug tries to imprint on us), I treated them like a_ _holes. I simply told them off and got on with my audiobooks. Here is one of my favorites:

 

 

[[Ja...]]

Barbara h,..what you said there about thinking about it all b4 you wake up and as soon as you open your eyes,.That’s exactly what I get when it’s really overwhelming me

anything that’s been through my head is right there as I wake up,.and yea the mental symptoms are borderline pysk ward admission for me

recently everything about the withdrawal swallowed my mind for weeks,.I don’t even think it was the withdrawal it just got to me really bad mentally

im having to really work to take my mind away from it all

 

[[Ba...]]

It is overwhelmingly. I don’t know if I can deal with this for much longer. I hope we all begin to get well soon 

[[Go...]]

@[Ba...] The mental symptoms are what have been the worst for me.  I have had minimal physical symptoms compared to others on BB.  But yes, doom and gloom, as well as feeling worthless and hopeless have unfortunately been constants, along with fear.  But I do think things have gotten better?  Right now, Im sitting in a public library I was never in before.  I felt fear, and impending doom when I sat down here about 20 minutes ago.  In the past I would have had sweating and been jerking around in my seat, if not getting up and leaving altogether.  Now Im still sitting here.  The good news for you is that I think you will notice positive change in your thoughts, especially if you can find ways to distract yourself.  The "bad" news is that the only thing I noticed has worked is time.  I HATED when people told me that, and at 16 months, I still HATE it!  But it's what I now have to offer you.  W/D is terrible, and unfortunately it takes over other parts of your life, and your ability to socialize and interact.  But I do think you will get better.  I am not anywhere close to where I want to be, but I have had numerous people, including "strangers" here on BB, that tell me I'm less angry and hopeless than a year ago.  So I guess I should start listening to them!!

  I am at 16 months C/T off 21 yrs of Klonopin.  Feel free to ask me any questions. 

Edited June 20 by [Go...]

[[Ba...]]

Hi Gonzo,

im 9 months off 23 years of klonopin. I did a 3 month taper. I didn’t know anything about addiction to these meds until last year. I have both physical and mental symptoms in w/d.  The mental are by far the absolute worst. I don’t have a minute of peace or relief. It’s always there. I did have depression even before withdrawing but I have read that w/d causes what I have, delusions and depression. Right now, I’m not functioning at all I have become afraid to go out and afraid to be alone. I don’t do anything all day except do on my phone. I try to distract, I got a paint by number kit. I go in the pool. But the negative thoughts are always there. I sleep but badly. I’m trying to be positive by reading success stories. beside my husband , no one understands. I guess you do though. I sounds like you get some relief. At least you can go out. Maybe when I’m at your 16 months off I’ll start to get some relief. Thanks for talking to me ❤️

[[Ba...]]

I thought I was the only one with the worst mental symptoms. Don’t get me wrong, I have plenty of physical symptoms too. But mental, unbearable 

[[jo...]]

I'm experiencing all this stuff now. In fact its been for a few months now. The depression didn't hit me until a couple of months in and it is brutal. Intrusive thoughts and rumination on the past present and future, is really disabling sometimes.

It's made more difficult that I feel I have to hide it from people which is difficult to do. There are a lot of problems in my family right now and the thought that I may add to the burden is too much. I'm always imagining worst case scinarios, I just cant help it. I know what your going through. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to go through by a long way. We just need some relief.

[[Ba...]]

It’s really hard to hide. That’s  why I don’t even try. I just stay home. I don’t see anyone right now. I can’t. They’ll just think I’m nuts and not in w/d

[[jo...]]

I avoid people at the moment too, as much as possible. I just find it so difficult to interact with people at the moment. In fact difficult isn't the word, it's painful.

[[Ba...]]

Hopefully this recovery will happen sooner rather than later. What is your experience 

[[jo...]]

I'm approaching 5 months of ct and experiencing a bad wave of mental symptoms. It can be torture.

[[Ne...]]

I feel totally brain dead, like I can’t make any decisions or have thoughts/opinions of my own.  It’s difficult to absorb things or keep up with the world around me.  My memory is shot.  I have no ability to take the reigns or show attitude / personality / strength.  I’m just a zombie around people.  It’s like I’ve become completely dull, blank and dumb. I can barely do things for myself and no one understands. I literally feel like each day I’m just surviving to get to the next.  I’m losing everything in my life.  Can you guys relate to this?  I don’t know how to cope or accept living like this and it’s been this way for almost a year.  I was only on these meds for a couple of months and have been tapering since February.  I try to ignore and distract, and it’s pretty much impossible.  I never had any serious mental or physical illnesses before all of this and now I feel like I’m headed for a psych ward or death. 

[[Cr...]]

8 hours ago, [[B...] said:

How does everyone deal with mental symptoms, doom and gloom, unending depression 

I saw old posts of mine mentioning how if my withdrawal was just mostly physical I could deal with it much better. Not sure how true that would have been since I was lucky not to experience severe prolonged pain. I think i was referring to stomach issues, dizzyness, burning skin, etc.

The key phase in what you said was 'deal with it'. Dealing involves tolerating.. which means not letting it break us mentally. So how do you 'deal' with something when the object involved in the toleration process (your brain and mental state of mind) is the problem?

In truth, you have been managing to deal with it this whole time Barbara. Look back at how often these symptoms have plagued you, just as badly if not worse than now, and yet you still made it this far. So since we know you are capable to deal with it, the next question becomes for how long can you? That is where your own patience comes into play.

You are a very patient person to make it this far, but every person runs out of patience sooner or later. How do you keep your patience going? By reminding yourself of various positive things like end-goals, windows you have had (just the other day remember?), reading success stories, and reading the support from your fellow members that have been there or are still there with you fighting this.

Patience is like a battery that needs recharged, the more you stress out about the symptoms you can't control the faster it drains. Withdrawal is very strange. There are times where it squeezes you so hard and for so long you feel like all hope is lost and then just like that, it let's go or eases its grip.

If you worry about managing to get through a large chunk of time (year, month or even week) feeling the way you currentlt do, you will easily get overwhelmed. Worry only about the day, or even the hour, if you have to.

In the meantime, figure out what your most effective distraction/coping tool is to pass time. Mine was playing familiar comedies in the background on tv. Think short-term for managing WD, think long-term only while planning activities you'd like to do for when you are recovered.

[[Ba...]]

Croon, good words from you. I’m just so tired of this.  I want it to be over. Not having any control is so very hard. I have always been a control person I guess. Anyway what choice do I have but to endure. Day by day. Just surviving right now. I made it thru another day. I’ll make it thru tomorrow.  Just like everyone else who goes through this must. 

[[Ba...]]

Thanks for your words. They help so much. I don’t like having any control over my body. I have to endure. What other choice do I have?

[[Ca...]]

Barbara

i am right with you. I’ve been tapering for 26 months in wd the entire time. This year I developed a lot of physical symptoms too. I don’t leave the house unless I have to see a doctor for a med refill. I held my taper for three months and started it again five days ago. It’s already impacting my sleep. Everything you said is true for me also.

[[Cr...]]

1 hour ago, [[B...] said:

Just like everyone else who goes through this must. 

I originally read 'must' as 'mist' and thought that was a good metaphor.

I really wish there was something beyond encouragement that I could give you. If I knew of a supplement that was guaranteed to lessen your symptoms and not harm you I would share it. Same goes for medication. I imagine many of us would give away all our earthly possessions for such knowledge just so we could share it with others as well.

Sadly time is the only known panacea. In some ways time feels like our enemy, moving slowly when we suffer and quickly while in a window. No point in harboring negative feelings towards something that is just a passive construct though.

I know you don't expect to actually hear a solution. It just helps to vent out your frustration with this process. If you find it cathartic, please do so as often as you want. I will cheer you on with pompoms, miniskirt, and a tacky sweater with a big letter B.