Can anyone provide me with some support?

[[Av...]]

I’m suffering from an awful setback after years of healing. My own stupidity caused this. I got carried away one night and had been drinking alcohol moderately for a while, but overdid it on this occasion.

I didn’t know the risks of alcohol after so many years. Now, I look on this site there are loads of warnings, but I never saw them before.
 

I feel like I’m back in acute and have been this way for 4 months. Akathisia, pacing for hours every day, panic attacks chemical terror and fear. 
 

I thought I was well and truly healed and had been really enjoying life. Now, I’m so scared. I have an appointment with a benzo Wd coach next week, but am desperate for some reassurance. If you have experience of akathisia and terror/panic and/or severe setback symptoms please help. 

 

Edited June 20 by [Av...]
Admin request

[[Co...]]

6 hours ago, [[A...] said:

I’m suffering from an awful setback after years of healing. My own stupidity caused this. I got carried away one night and had been drinking alcohol moderately for a while, but overdid it on this occasion.

Hello @[Av...]. Welcome to BenzoBuddies.

6 hours ago, [[A...] said:

I didn’t know the risks of alcohol after so many years. Now, I look on this site there are loads of warnings, but I never saw them before.

From personal experience, and from other members have written, alcohol can cause a blip for some us. Sometimes this sensitivity can last for a very long time or even permanently.

My view on this is that if we have 'recovered', but remain sensitive to alcohol, and our brain has adapted and found a new balance. I think you will find that you will recover from  this blip far more rapidly than you did from withdrawal of benzodiazepine. It is not that you have been taken back to your withdrawal. Rather, you have upset the somewhat delicate balance you have since achieved - but your brain will rebalance quite rapidly.

6 hours ago, [[A...] said:

I feel like I’m back in acute and have been this way for 4 months. Akathisia, pacing for hours every day, panic attacks chemical terror and fear.

My experience of drinking (post withdrawal, and before I knew better) was that fairly modest amounts (a few drinks) consumed fairly regularly (every few weeks), would cause me to gradually deteriorate. I'd experience nothing as obvious as hangover the next day, just a gradual winding down and a return to feeling how I did immediately after withdrawal of clonazepam. I'd become so ill, I'd stop socialising (and not drink - I was only even a social drinker) and would gradually recover. After a few years of this, I began to understand that alcohol was the trigger.

The point though - and other members report similar experiences - is that I would recover. And the solution for me is the (near) total abstinence of alcohol.

For me, it would take 5-6 months to recover. But recover I did. This is not the same as benzodiazepine withdrawal, even if it feels similar.

I would add that being worried about it is not helping. Try to avoid fixating on this, and trust that you will recover and probably quite soon.

6 hours ago, [[A...] said:

I thought I was well and truly healed and had been really enjoying life. Now, I’m so scared. I have an appointment with a benzo Wd coach next week, but am desperate for some reassurance. If you have experience of akathisia and terror/panic and/or severe setback symptoms please help. 

You will heal again. Alcohol as a trigger is reasonably common, and it will reverse itself.

Going forward, I suggest drinking no alcohol for at least a year after you feel better again. Or, even better, not drink at all. I have little idea of what is my upper limit of consumption while remaining well, and I have no intention of trying to find out. I know I can get away with (as an exception) a drink or two (perhaps at some kind of celebration), maybe once a year, but I otherwise do not drink.

Try not to worry about it and trust that you will be OK.

[[Av...]]

Thank you so much Colin. 

This experience has absolutely devastated me. I was doing so well both mentally and physically and, to a large extent, living a normal (ish) life. I'm now disabled again and housebound due to terror and akathisia.

I was convinced that I'd put myself back to square one, so I sincerely hope you are right and it won't take as long to recover again from this. It is so scary though. The symptoms are worse than when I came off diazepam several years ago.

I will never touch a drop of alcohol again!

 

Edited June 20 by [Av...]
typo

[[En...]]

6 hours ago, [[A...] said:

I’m suffering from an awful setback after years of healing. My own stupidity caused this. I got carried away one night and had been drinking alcohol moderately for a while, but overdid it on this occasion.

I didn’t know the risks of alcohol after so many years. Now, I look on this site there are loads of warnings, but I never saw them before.
 

I feel like I’m back in acute and have been this way for 4 months. Akathisia, pacing for hours every day, panic attacks chemical terror and fear. 
 

I thought I was well and truly healed and had been really enjoying life. Now, I’m so scared. I have an appointment with a benzo Wd coach next week, but am desperate for some reassurance. If you have experience of akathisia and terror/panic and/or severe setback symptoms please help. 

I had revved up symptoms from smoking some cannabis. I got so sick and had bad shakes and akathisia. I learned a lesson to never do anything bit live a clean life free from any drugs. I will never drink alcohol again either. I too was feeling so good I got cocky.

It just isn't worth the risk of being that sick again. 

You will heal again. 

Edited June 20 by [En...]

[[Av...]]

 

4 minutes ago, [[E...] said:

I had revved up symptoms from smoking some cannabis. I got so sick and had bad shakes and akathisia. I learned a lesson to never do anything bit live a clean life free from any drugs. I will never drink alcohol again either.

It just isn't worth the risk of being that sick again. 

You will heal again. 

Thank you mate.

I have stayed away from all mind altering substances since coming off benzos including alcohol for a few years. I had only just recently started drinking again moderately very recently .

I feel so stupid after getting wasted one night a few months ago and ending up like this. I wish I'd never started drinking again, I didn't even get that much pleasure from it to be honest.  

Edited June 20 by [Av...]

[[En...]]

2 minutes ago, [[A...] said:

Thank you mate.

I have stayed away from all mind altering substances since coming off benzos including alcohol for a few years. I had only just recently started drinking again moderately very recently .

I feel so stupid after getting wasted one night a few months ago and ending up like this. I wish I'd never started drinking again, I didn't even get that much pleasure from it to be honest.  

Trust me I know how you feel. I have not felt as good as I did before cannabis again it's been almost 2 months. I too feel so stupid and regret it. 

We will heal again. Just take it as a lesson learned. A hard lesson.

[[Av...]]

1 minute ago, [[E...] said:

Trust me I know how you feel. I have not felt as good as I did before cannabis again it's been almost 2 months. I too feel so stupid and regret it. 

We will heal again. Just take it as a lesson learned. A hard lesson.

Hope you are right. I'm in a real state right now with symptoms nearly 24/7 again after being pretty much symptom free for nearly a year. It's been truly traumatizing. 

[[En...]]

1 minute ago, [[A...] said:

Hope you are right. I'm in a real state right now with symptoms nearly 24/7 again after being pretty much symptom free for nearly a year. It's been truly traumatizing. 

Yes I know that feeling. I am feeling better at 2 months but still not the same as before. 

You will heal.

[[Av...]]

1 minute ago, [[E...] said:

Yes I know that feeling. I am feeling better at 2 months but still not the same as before. 

You will heal.

Thank you!

[[...]]

@[Av...], just to say i really feel sorry for you and wish you getting well as soon as possible! 

[[Av...]]

[[An...]]

6 hours ago, [[A...] said:

I’m suffering from an awful setback after years of healing. My own stupidity caused this. I got carried away one night and had been drinking alcohol moderately for a while, but overdid it on this occasion.

I didn’t know the risks of alcohol after so many years. Now, I look on this site there are loads of warnings, but I never saw them before.
 

I feel like I’m back in acute and have been this way for 4 months. Akathisia, pacing for hours every day, panic attacks chemical terror and fear. 
 

I thought I was well and truly healed and had been really enjoying life. Now, I’m so scared. I have an appointment with a benzo Wd coach next week, but am desperate for some reassurance. If you have experience of akathisia and terror/panic and/or severe setback symptoms please help. 

It will get better ride it out for another month. Go to a infa red sauna and a magnesium salt bath. Look it up it helps so much, if that’s not in your budget, look up magnesium chloride salt and soak in that daily. 

[[...]]

14 minutes ago, [[A...] said:

Thank you so much.

Oh, and i haven't had a setback bc of alcohol but, right now, i'm living through rough time caused by a vaccine given a couple of days ago. I felt my best for the whole withdrawal prior to it and now not well again...

I'm sure we'll both heal and, hope with all my heart, pretty soon!)

[[Av...]]

[[Su...]]

@[Av...] 

If you are recovering from benzo use, I would not use alcohol.

The benzos act on the same chemical receptors as the alcohol (and vice versa).

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/1980691/ 

I have found I am super sensitive to even small amounts of alcohol by volume (less than 1%).

[[Av...]]

1 minute ago, [[S...] said:

@[Av...] 

If you are recovering from benzo use, I would not use alcohol.

The benzos act on the same chemical receptors as the alcohol (and vice versa).

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/1980691/ 

I have found I am super sensitive to even small amounts of alcohol by volume (less than 1%).

Thanks, I know all this now. Didn’t know it before unfortunately. 

[[La...]]

[[La...]]

4 hours ago, [[A...] said:

Thanks, I know all this now. Didn’t know it before unfortunately. 

Avalon, I just wanted to send u a virtual hug. 🤗 I hope things settle back down quickly for you. 

[[Cr...]]

@[Av...]

I suffered two alcohol setbacks. One was from binge drinking (3 to 4x a week) for about 14 months after stopping klonopin. I may have been self-medicating k withdrawal, but I often went 2 or 3 days without drinking and don't recall anything bad happening until month 14 of drinking. Then I suddenly got hit with depression, anxiety, restlessness, brain fog, intrusive thoughts.

Things got so bad that I went back on klonopin for 3 weeks. Things gradually settled down and then about 3 months later, since I felt 'ok' for several days in a row, I made a mistake that caused setback #2. I drank just one night, enough to get drunk, and by the afternoon of the next day I was in such a bad physical/mental state that I took klonopin yet again at twice my original dose for 2 days just to pull myself back from the brink.

From there it took me about another 14 months to fully recover with the whole windows/waves scenario playing out throughout.

My recovery wasn't easy but it was well worth the wait. There is another member currently using this forum with a story similar to yours. He is in a setback from alcohol as well. I will let him share his own story with you. ( @[da...] )

Just remember that each recovery journey is unique to the individual in regards to symptoms and duration. You could possibly recover quickly, relatively speaking, compared to many others. Even though it took me almost 1.5 years to mostly recover, I had windows and many tolerable days throughout the process.

 

[[Av...]]

8 hours ago, [[L...] said:

Avalon, I just wanted to send u a virtual hug. 🤗 I hope things settle back down quickly for you. 

Thank you.

[[Av...]]

11 hours ago, [[C...] said:

@[Av...]

I suffered two alcohol setbacks. One was from binge drinking (3 to 4x a week) for about 14 months after stopping klonopin. I may have been self-medicating k withdrawal, but I often went 2 or 3 days without drinking and don't recall anything bad happening until month 14 of drinking. Then I suddenly got hit with depression, anxiety, restlessness, brain fog, intrusive thoughts.

Things got so bad that I went back on klonopin for 3 weeks. Things gradually settled down and then about 3 months later, since I felt 'ok' for several days in a row, I made a mistake that caused setback #2. I drank just one night, enough to get drunk, and by the afternoon of the next day I was in such a bad physical/mental state that I took klonopin yet again at twice my original dose for 2 days just to pull myself back from the brink.

From there it took me about another 14 months to fully recover with the whole windows/waves scenario playing out throughout.

My recovery wasn't easy but it was well worth the wait. There is another member currently using this forum with a story similar to yours. He is in a setback from alcohol as well. I will let him share his own story with you. ( @[da...] )

Just remember that each recovery journey is unique to the individual in regards to symptoms and duration. You could possibly recover quickly, relatively speaking, compared to many others. Even though it took me almost 1.5 years to mostly recover, I had windows and many tolerable days throughout the process.

Thank you for your story. I’ve not really had any windows in the past 4 months apart from the odd few hours here and there. 
 

Prior to this I felt 90% healed, so I am now having to deal with the trauma and depression that being in this state has resulted in. 

[[da...]]

Im in a horrible setback from drimking. Never drank every day, just one day per weekend for about two years. This has made my symptoms return. Making the brain fog as the worst of my symptoms. 
 

heres what i noticed. The alcohol made me feel normal. But eventually it started to make me sick. And now im in alcohol induced post acute withdrawal. 
 

youre not alone. 

[[da...]]

I cant remeber the last time i could think clearly and peacefully. Its always a storm in my head. Keep strong 

[[ma...]]

@[da...]it will be better . Find tiny things to chear you up for some moments

[[Av...]]

52 minutes ago, [[m...] said:

@[da...]it will be better . Find tiny things to chear you up for some moments

 

Edited June 22 by [Av...]