Thinking clearly and rationally

[[or...]]

7 hours ago, [[B...] said:

I’m 10 months off klonopin after 23 years on it. I did a quick 3 month taper after my dr told me that he could no longer write this drug. 
 

I can’t think clearly or rationally. I have lots of physical symptoms but the mental are the hardest. I’m trying to be ok but I’m not. I haven’t been able to leave my house for a few months. Can anyone relate?

Hi Barbara. I can't truly relate to your situation, but I wanted to let you know this place (BB) has been a lifeline for me.  Stick with us here, lots of folks know what CTs are like, and will gladly help you through this, oregonlady

[[PE...]]

4 minutes ago, [[B...] said:

I’m glad.  I’m 23 years on klonopin. 9 months off after 3 month taper. No ok. 

Ok then we are in line

it was a fast taper! Was it tough?

[[Ba...]]

I’m only 9 months off and it is every minute devastating 

[[Ba...]]

Thank you Oregon lady. I am only surviving right now. Nonfunctional and just trying to get through the day 

[[J ...]]

5 hours ago, [[B...] said:

Ron, 

will I really get better 

Barbara,

YES you will get better. I cant tell you when but it will happen, I promise!!!!!! I do remember the depths of lows during my withdrawal. I remember thinking the same thoughts. Now, I can tell you that you will get better, your life will gradually return. It just takes TIME! Stop worrying about this. I know you want to get better tomorrow, but that is not happening. It may start to get better around the 16-to-18-month mark. I cant say when but the torment will gradually get better. I know how you are feeling. At least you have your husband to hold your hand, and you should thank God you have him. And tell him that he will get his wife back. And when you do get better, you will appreciate life even more. 

I have been thinking about you all day. I dont know you but I have felt the despair you are feeling. Not sure why I logged onto BB today, maybe it was to talk to you and others. I have been a little emotional all day after being snubbed by my kids but I think it was to help you and others that will read these posts. 

I do feel good most days. I still have days where I am not 100% but I appreciate all days. This past weekend I took my new jet ski up the Chickahominy River. The beauty was out of this world. Five years ago, I dont think I would have noticed the green trees, the water, the wildlife, and just out breathing the fresh air. This will come to you as well, I am sure of it. Five years ago, I would have never have don this....I have come a long way, it took TIME.....Keep up the hope and your time will get here. I wish I could give you the magic to make it happen.

I truly understand where you are at. At 10 months you are in the really hard part of this battle. Hang tough, calm down if you can, your brain is not your friend right now but it will begin to heal. 

I hope my words give you some relief. 

Ron

[[Ba...]]

Hi Ron,

Your words mean so much to me.  I am in despair. I am devastated about my life at this point in time. I used to be a very positive person and I don’t know what happened to me. Benzo I guess.  Since I started taking them 23, ago everything fell  apart. I was given them by a pulmonologist after I had a sleep study done and was told I had restless leg syndrome. I hear what you are saying about getting better. I want to feel it. But right now I don’t. I guess that is a symptom of withdrawal, feeling hopeless. I actually work with a coach, Dr Jennifer Leigh. She had been through this herself. Imeet online in a group 3 times per week. I hope that I have the strength to endure this for whatever the time that I must. You have given me more strength and have helped me more than you can imagine. You are an angel sent to me from god. Thank you so very very much. I was thinking about it earlier. Actually I’m only at the 9 month mark not 10. My last dose was last September 1. After 23 years I guess my poor brain needs more time to heal. And I’m not always the most patient. My husband is a saint but sometimes he needs a break from all of this benzo talk. It consumes me. It’s all I think about.  Because I fear going out , I’m just home. I can hardly do anything around the house. He does almost everything. I do what I can. He carries the load. And I feel so guilty about that. I didn’t tell you but I have a 14 granddaughter who lives with us. She wants to go out and do things. Its summer vacation. But I can’t. I feel so sorry for her. She graduated from 8 th grade and I couldn’t go see her. I could go on but I’m sure you’ve heard enough. Thank you for everything, your words, your caring.  Can we talk more?  I would appreciate it so very much. It’s up to you. I’m not sure how much you want to. Hopefully we’ll talk again soon. ❤️

[[J ...]]

3 minutes ago, [[B...] said:

Hi Ron,

Your words mean so much to me.  I am in despair. I am devastated about my life at this point in time. I used to be a very positive person and I don’t know what happened to me. Benzo I guess.  Since I started taking them 23, ago everything fell  apart. I was given them by a pulmonologist after I had a sleep study done and was told I had restless leg syndrome. I hear what you are saying about getting better. I want to feel it. But right now I don’t. I guess that is a symptom of withdrawal, feeling hopeless. I actually work with a coach, Dr Jennifer Leigh. She had been through this herself. Imeet online in a group 3 times per week. I hope that I have the strength to endure this for whatever the time that I must. You have given me more strength and have helped me more than you can imagine. You are an angel sent to me from god. Thank you so very very much. I was thinking about it earlier. Actually I’m only at the 9 month mark not 10. My last dose was last September 1. After 23 years I guess my poor brain needs more time to heal. And I’m not always the most patient. My husband is a saint but sometimes he needs a break from all of this benzo talk. It consumes me. It’s all I think about.  Because I fear going out , I’m just home. I can hardly do anything around the house. He does almost everything. I do what I can. He carries the load. And I feel so guilty about that. I didn’t tell you but I have a 14 granddaughter who lives with us. She wants to go out and do things. Its summer vacation. But I can’t. I feel so sorry for her. She graduated from 8 th grade and I couldn’t go see her. I could go on but I’m sure you’ve heard enough. Thank you for everything, your words, your caring.  Can we talk more?  I would appreciate it so very much. It’s up to you. I’m not sure how much you want to. Hopefully we’ll talk again soon. ❤️

I am touched by your story. I was never in your state, but I did try my best to avoid groups. I still do to this day. Not much more I can say but to keep putting one foot in front of the other, and before you know it you will be closer to the end of this terrible tragedy in your life. 

I just did a calculation, since March 14, 2019 I am 5 years, 3 months and 3 days since my last benzo dose.  that is 1922 days. I will forever remember 3/14/2019.....you can do this. 

Try not to let this consume you. I used to get on BB several times a day. Maybe limit your time on here. Get around more positivity if you can. Go lay in the sun tomorrow, take a walk with your granddaughter....do anything to take your mind off this journey.

Ron

[[Ru...]]

I was just coming on to say the same thing...limit your time here as it can  consume you. There are many that will chime in and share their success(es), but most of the buddies on here are dealing with symptoms as well. Focus on the positive things, read the success stories. Make it a point of getting outside and enjoy the weather (whatever it is where you are.) I started walking about 2 months ago and now I can't not go lol.

You will get through this and you have a great support system right here.

 

[[Le...]]

12 hours ago, [[J...] said:

Absolutely. Benzo withdrawal is terrible and prolonged. I am sorry to tell you that, but you will get better. I can promise that...I can't tell you how long it will take. From zero benzo day, March 14, 2019, it was about 16 months to when I knew I was getting better. Time is your friend....embrace that thought. 

I haven't been on this site is awhile. I had a tough day yesterday, Fathers Day, as my 23 yo daughter did not call and my son talked after I called him for about five minutes. Breaks my heart but I am strong now so I will deal with it. 

interesting for me how many of us recognize that 18 month sorta mark. same for me and 2yr i saw an end coming.  

 

that 2 yr functional mark is very convenient for canadian doctors. cant sue after 2 yrs. 

Edited June 18 by [Le...]

[[Ba...]]

I had a terrible night. Very bad sleep. Intrusive thoughts and nightmares. How much can a person take? 9 months off klonopin. Does this ever end?

[[J ...]]

1 hour ago, [[B...] said:

I had a terrible night. Very bad sleep. Intrusive thoughts and nightmares. How much can a person take? 9 months off klonopin. Does this ever end?

Barbara, 

I remember those sleepless nights and they were terrible with the mindless thoughts going around and around in your head. That is your brain cells screaming at you for removing the mind-numbing benzo. Nothing will stop this I am sorry to say. I wish I could give you the magic puzzle peace, but it does not exist. Like the comments a above, you should limit your time on BB. We all have suffered and we all have healed, it just takes TIME. Until then, try to go outside in the sun, really focus on the little wonders of nature...go walk if you can muster the energy, do some type of mental gymnastics... (I went back to my calculus book..I am a nerd..LOL), hug your husband and your granddaughter and cry a little. This is very very very hard for you now. Again, time is your friend try to make the days go by....I am truly sorry...you will wake up one day and you will feel better. I promise. 

Ron

[[Ba...]]

❤️

[[J ...]]

1 hour ago, [[B...] said:

I had a terrible night. Very bad sleep. Intrusive thoughts and nightmares. How much can a person take? 9 months off klonopin. Does this ever end?

I just remembered. I took Trazadone to help me sleep. the "dr" that prescibed the benzo to me, then prescribed Trazadone. I think it is worth a try...try 50 mg or maybe 100mg. Talk to your doctor and see if they will give you a few to try.  Actually, still take a small dose. Helps me sleep and sleep is what makes us feel better. Research the drug, its been around a long time and has minimal side effects. 

[[Ba...]]

I do take trazadone. I feel like I’m losing my mind. I don’t know what to do. I’m trying to hang on but it’s hard. Intrusive thoughts 24/7. I don’t know if I can do this 

[[J ...]]

3 hours ago, [[B...] said:

I do take trazadone. I feel like I’m losing my mind. I don’t know what to do. I’m trying to hang on but it’s hard. Intrusive thoughts 24/7. I don’t know if I can do this 

I am so very sorry. I have been there, I suspect not in the state you are in as the rapid taper is making this even more difficult. I am not sure what else to tell you....your suffering will end I just cant tell you when, but in time the symptoms will get better.....please keep in touch. 

[[Cr...]]

3 hours ago, [[B...] said:

I do take trazadone. I feel like I’m losing my mind. I don’t know what to do. I’m trying to hang on but it’s hard. Intrusive thoughts 24/7. I don’t know if I can do this 

You can. I had a return of intrusive thoughts when I stopped nicotine from vaping/snus. I read a lot about them, but I found listening to someone else talk about them in a calm voice was easier than trying to focus on reading. This video may help you out. After watching it (its short), spend some time to read the comment section below the video to see how many others just like us have trouble with this issue.

 

[[J ...]]

On 18/06/2024 at 10:36, [[B...] said:

I do take trazadone. I feel like I’m losing my mind. I don’t know what to do. I’m trying to hang on but it’s hard. Intrusive thoughts 24/7. I don’t know if I can do this 

Barbara, 

It is Saturday morning for me. I hope you are doing better!!!  You will get better. I know it! 

Ron

[[Ye...]]

Hello barbara. My name is Simón, I am 38 years old and I am Spanish. I was taking Klonopin for 13 years and for the last few years I was taking 6mg every day. Due to ignorance, I stopped taking it all from one day to the next without any type of reduction and now I have been taking it for 15 months. 15 months in which, excluding the first two months, I have felt just as bad without windows of any kind. I have anhedonia and completely triggered anxiety that barely lets me go outside. Before I thought that at this point I would be seeing many improvements but now I don't really know what to think. As time passes, hope fades, it is inevitable 🤷🏻‍♂️