About to be reinstated

[[be...]]

I know that people told me not to but the 24/7 electricity and all the brain torturing feelings made me to reinstate after 6 weeks. People who only have emotional/psychiatric symptoms and weird physical feelings don't understand this. It physically hurts.

 

Yes, I have heard and read about kindling. I just hope it is not to late after 6 weeks. I will start with a very very small amount. I cut the 0.125mg pill into 4 pieces and put it in the water bottle and I will spilit it again.

 

It will be like 0.00625mg so I hope I don't kindle too much.

 

I'm really sorry for letting you down. I thank everyone who encouraged me to stay off and all the kind advices. I thank you all. I'm kinda scared of the consequences. Please pray for me.

Edited June 17 by [be...]

[[...]]

@[be...], it's not about letting other people down. The main priority is to find a way exactly for you to live happily. I only hope the reinstatement will work and you'll successfully taper off of benzo afterwards bc it's no good taking benzo long term.

I'm, personally, strongly against benzo reinstatement bc did it myself lots of times unaware of all the horrible consequences and, eventually, got them to the full. My symptoms have been mostly exactly physical, unbearable pain for a long time, which i had to put up with on my own anyway. I wouldn't wish that to anyone.  But we're all different.

Sincerely wishing you luck!

 

[[be...]]

[[Ma...]]

Google Emma Saunders and call her (for free) if she still has that option.

She was a much, much worse case than you (you can search on YouTube) but successfully reinstated and knows many others who have done so. She’s super sweet and has been interviewed by many.

You have let no one down. You are not the 1st to reinstate an only YOU knows what is best for you.

[[...]]

Aw don't think you're letting anyone down, we all know this is complete and utter hell. I think everyone here has had at least one episode/symptom of physical pain and has been tempted to or reinstated, there's nothing wrong about that.

I think this drug is very powerful and does everything to persuade you to keep on using, even when the symptoms have diminished or have become tolerable, it's quite tiresome.

[[pi...]]

@[be...], please don’t apologize. You did what you felt was necessary for your health and well-being. You are not alone in doing this, others have reinstated and gone on to have successful tapers and recoveries. You just need to take care of you right now, don’t worry about anything else.

[[Kr...]]

And did the pain stopped? Don’t be harsh on yourself, we are still here for you 

[[bl...]]

Be assured of my prayers and please don't give yourself any crud about doing what you need to do for you. We all understand 100% how hard this is. Pax Christi, friend.

[[Cr...]]

11 hours ago, [[b...] said:

i'm sorry and thank you. you guys are too nice. i understand your concern. it just hurts my head 24/7....

The support and opinions you get from others, myself included, are not meant to tell you what you can/can't do in regards to your body and medication choices. That choice is ultimately yours. Only you know what you can toletate in regards to suffering. 

Going into reinstatement without knowing the risks or potential for it to fail could come as a shock...one that people wish they knew beforehand. That said, since you made this choice I truly hope it brings you relief. Whether or not going back on Xanax was the best choice, you will have my support and the support of others to help you navigate any challenges that may lay ahead.

I think it was very wise of you to start at really low doses just to see how your body reacts.