knowing when to let go..

[[or...]]

..just about killed me, or the fear of my heart just breaking, has ended in a miracle.  I can't call it any other name than just how it feels.

Some of you might know about me adopting a puppy named Annie.  I fell in love so deep with this little dog, but found I wasn't coping with all that goes with having a very vibrant, very young dog.  I just have to share what happened with people that may understand, probably many of you will.

I have a friend at the Humane Society I donate to, and told her Annie and my story.  I was very honest with her, told her about my battle to get off benzos, and that I needed to do what was best for Annie, as well as myself.  So I took Annie to her this last Tuesday.  I just felt numb, but my friend reassured me that she had a Foster Home set up already for Annie.  With other puppies/small dogs.  She also setup for her to be spade, that was a must or I would not let her go to a new home.

I received an email from my friend Jen this a.m. telling me Annie was adopted into the MOST wonderful family that have a ranch up one of our lovely rivers.  I was so overjoyed, crying for happiness of the miracle.  Then she sent another email with a pic of the two girls in the family holding Annie.  I still can't quit crying, but this was my answer to prayer, and I knew for certain I had done the right thing for Annie.

She has a forever home now and I just fell in love with their daughter s.  I felt maybe someone needs to hear my story out there and know it is no sin to admit you can't cope with something in your life, maybe something like me adopting a little dog in the middle of a taper.  If you are like me, you beat yourself when you make what seems like a poor decision, but maybe it's all meant to be, destined or something. I just know I am a better person for what I learned, and choose to believe Annie wouldn't have ended up in such a good home if I hadn't first adopted her.   It's funny but I always wanted a family like the one Annie has now, maybe if I can get past the benzo-taper I may have my dream for me come true as well.

♥️♥️♥️

 

Edited Saturday at 00:02 by [or...]

[[Re...]]

@[or...] What you did is incredibly difficult yet reflects how noble your heart is.

It is so nice to see Annie has found such a loving family.

Thinking of you @[or...]🫂

[[Kr...]]

Just now, [[R...] said:

@[or...] What you did is incredibly difficult yet reflects how noble your heart is.

It is so nice to see Annie has found such a loving family.

Thinking of you @[or...]🫂

Ditto 

[[or...]]

3 minutes ago, [[R...] said:

@[or...] What you did is incredibly difficult yet reflects how noble your heart is.

It is so nice to see Annie has found such a loving family.

Thinking of you @[or...]🫂

Thank you so much Reuben, isn't that amazing, I was so scared, and ashamed to admit I couldn't do it.  I made such a big deal when I got her.  She taught me way more than I taught her, that's for sure, oregonlady

[[or...]]

6 minutes ago, [[K...] said:

Ditto 

it's comforting when I need it most, just being honest with people I find it was the best thing to be.  I'm looking ahead to my move on Thursday and searching out churches that have recovery programs that sort of encompass a lot of dependencies/addictions.  I am not a church-goer, but I feel led to try after I had prayed so hard for God to help me as I was falling apart.  I'm going to try again, I'd sort of lost my faith during the taper, I couldn't feel normal emotions, I've been changed so much I hardly recognize me.

this experience has helped though, my old self peeking through, oregonlady

[[Ct...]]

@[or...] What you did was the absolute best thing for Annie. I love the photo of Annie with two of the humans in her new family. She will thrive on the ranch with other small dogs and a loving family. Please remember that you also gave her so much love when you brought her into your home. You brought joy to me seeing Annie in the photos you posted. Best wishes as you continue to prepare for your move. Ctlady

[[or...]]

1 minute ago, [[C...] said:

@[or...] What you did was the absolute best thing for Annie. I love the photo of Annie with two of the humans in her new family. She will thrive on the ranch with other small dogs and a loving family. Please remember that you also gave her so much love when you brought her into your home. You brought joy to me seeing Annie in the photos you posted. Best wishes as you continue to prepare for your move. Ctlady

thank you so much Ctlady, I'm so glad I came here and spilled my guts.  Believing I was doing the best thing for Annie was hard, but getting to find out I did indeed do the right thing is so wonderful! 

I was just wondering if I pray hard enough, I can find a family like that to adopt me

[[...]]

When you get well, you can spend time with Annie as well as the new extended family!! 

[[En...]]

9 hours ago, [[o...] said:

..just about killed me, or the fear of my heart just breaking, has ended in a miracle.  I can't call it any other name than just how it feels.

Some of you might know about me adopting a puppy named Annie.  I fell in love so deep with this little dog, but found I wasn't coping with all that goes with having a very vibrant, very young dog.  I just have to share what happened with people that may understand, probably many of you will.

I have a friend at the Humane Society I donate to, and told her Annie and my story.  I was very honest with her, told her about my battle to get off benzos, and that I needed to do what was best for Annie, as well as myself.  So I took Annie to her this last Tuesday.  I just felt numb, but my friend reassured me that she had a Foster Home set up already for Annie.  With other puppies/small dogs.  She also setup for her to be spade, that was a must or I would not let her go to a new home.

I received an email from my friend Jen this a.m. telling me Annie was adopted into the MOST wonderful family that have a ranch up one of our lovely rivers.  I was so overjoyed, crying for happiness of the miracle.  Then she sent another email with a pic of the two girls in the family holding Annie.  I still can't quit crying, but this was my answer to prayer, and I knew for certain I had done the right thing for Annie.

She has a forever home now and I just fell in love with the girls (pic below).  I felt maybe someone needs to hear my story out there and know it is no sin to admit you can't cope with something in your life, maybe something like me adopting a little dog in the middle of a taper.  If you are like me, you beat yourself when you make what seems like a poor decision, but maybe it's all meant to be, destined or something. I just know I am a better person for what I learned, and choose to believe Annie wouldn't have ended up in such a good home if I hadn't first adopted her. 

here's 2 of her new humans I am so grateful for.  It's funny but I always wanted a family like the one Annie has now, maybe if I can get past the benzo-taper I may have my dream for me come true as well.  Meanwhile, I'm having this photo printed out and framed, I'll cherish it for the rest of my life:

♥️♥️♥️

 

Having my own pets I know how much work they can be especially when you dont feel well. I had 2 Guinea pigs that were lots of work. I had to give them to someone as it was hard to look after them. A pet becomes a part of your family. It is an extremely hard decision to let them go but sometimes it is best for the pet.

You must feel happy and sad at the same time. I feel your pain. 

Edited Saturday at 00:44 by [En...]

[[or...]]

1 minute ago, [[E...] said:

Having my own pets I know how much work they can be especially when you dont feel well. I had 2 Guinea pigs that were lots of work. I had to give them to someone as it was hard to look after them. A pet becomes a part of your family. It is an extremely hard decision to let them go but sometimes it is best for the pet.

You must feel happy and sad at the same time. I feel your pain. 

Yes happy and sad at the same time describes it perfectly but I'm so grateful that she is in a good home better than I could have ever provided it was a miracle find. ❤️💕❤️💕

[[Ad...]]

Oh, I'm so very happy to see this adorable picture of Annie with the sweet girls. I know it was a terribly difficult decision but you did the right thing, and I tend to believe in reasons for things, especially things involving the souls of precious beings. I think you were a conduit to get Annie into a wonderful home. I was crying myself reading the story. A happy ending and a new beginning for you in Oregon. You may find a family among your new fellow residents. Or in one of the  programs you mention. I've gone to AlAnon meetings for years, thought I was going to learn how to deal with my drug addicted stepson, but found out there was a whole lot there just for me.

[[or...]]

28 minutes ago, [[A...] said:

Oh, I'm so very happy to see this adorable picture of Annie with the sweet girls. I know it was a terribly difficult decision but you did the right thing, and I tend to believe in reasons for things, especially things involving the souls of precious beings. I think you were a conduit to get Annie into a wonderful home. I was crying myself reading the story. A happy ending and a new beginning for you in Oregon. You may find a family among your new fellow residents. Or in one of the  programs you mention. I've gone to AlAnon meetings for years, thought I was going to learn how to deal with my drug addicted stepson, but found out there was a whole lot there just for me.

Hi Adela thank you for the lovely note and just getting the message from my friend was enough to make me so so happy and know that I had done the right thing by Annie but that picture I'm telling you I truly fell in love with those girls and thought all I could think was it was like a miracle. I will miss her of course but I do feel a lot of relief at the same time after knowing what a great home she has now I've been up the river and it is gorgeous up there in those little girls they just look like little angels to me which I'm sure they're not but haha country kids like I was when I was little I got to grow up in the country and we always had pets and we learned to love animals and I know those girls are going to love Annie her whole life, Oregon lady soon to be an actual Oregon resident ❤️💕❤️💕

[[ji...]]

you are a very strong person @[or...] and you did what was best for the both of you right now, even though it was a difficult decision.  thinking of you & wishing you well~~~ jill

[[or...]]

thank you JB, I still think she will be sitting and watching what I'm up to in the kitchen.  Hard things we all deal with on this journey of life.  It's such a relief to know she is in such a good place, oregonlady

[[Ja...]]

Orr sorry to hear that,that’s a shame pal,.puppies are a handful and need loads of attention and training,I have 2 dogs myself

1 of my dogs was at the vets this week and I barley slept,my mind went into complete overdrive,I looked like a walking corpse dropping him of.

 

 

[[or...]]

3 minutes ago, [[J...] said:

Orr sorry to hear that,that’s a shame pal,.puppies are a handful and need loads of attention and training,I have 2 dogs myself

1 of my dogs was at the vets this week and I barley slept,my mind went into complete overdrive,I looked like a walking corpse dropping him of.

We only had each other just over a month or almost 2 months I guess I had a dog before for 15 years and it absolutely killed me when she died and I was probably well into tolerance withdrawal at that time I know how they become family and I was missing Annie so much today so even that short of time she has a place in my heart, ol💕

[[Ja...]]

Yea yourl be ready another day for a furry friend pal,I to lost my fist dog a couple year back,.a 12 year old female staffie,totally broke my heart as well,I’ve get her son now and a female friend for him : )