22 months out, I'm feeling hopeless

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I cannot feel normal emotions. My brain is in a constant mode of fight. I feel emotionally numb since I took the pill. 

[[fa...]]

Are you on anything else? Ssri and even sleeping pills can cause this. 

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I got off everything. I'm completely drug free. Except I'm tapering propranolol for the last 1 mg. 

Edited June 13 by [Sc...]

[[or...]]

1 hour ago, [[S...] said:

I cannot feel normal emotions. My brain is in a constant mode of fight. I feel emotionally numb since I took the pill. 

So am I understanding your History info that you tapered daily?  I mean without holding the doses?  What was your beginning dose (s) on the two drugs?

I feel like another person has taken over my body, and I barely feel "any" emotions except extreme anger that hits me like a ton of bricks.  This is happening to me on a slow, micro taper, but I hold about 10 days, or longer, oregonlady PS one thing for sure, you aren't alone when you come to BB. Hang in there

[[fa...]]

1 hour ago, [[S...] said:

I got off everything. I'm completely drug free. Except I'm tapering propranolol for the last 1 mg. 

Does that have those side effects?

[[Cr...]]

3 minutes ago, [[f...] said:

Does that have those side effects?

I got curious and did a search. There are lots of people posting questions on Reddit and Quora about having a lack of emotions after starting a beta blocker or changing doses.

I didn't find much in the way of scientific literature to back this up but there seems to be a lot of anecdotal evidence.

@[Sc...] what is your general location of residence?

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It would make sense.  I think anything that blocks an autonomic response could have that as a side effect. 

[[Ho...]]

I'm 22 months out too, @[Sc...]. I'm tapering mirtazepine. I'm tapering so slowly you'd think there'd be no after-affect but there is. We're just so sensitized! I haven't seen @[Pa...] on for a while, but she was a super administrator and I remember she mentioned that for people who have other things to taper, recovery can take a few months longer. She'd been on this site for about a decade so I think she's seen a lot. You're not stuck where you are.

Recovery is so incredibly slow it happens and we have no sensation that anything is going on at all. Keep your chin up and keep up the waiting, distracting and being kind to yourself. Keep stress low, be gentle in your thoughts about yourself and if you can, just push the fear aside and do something else. You don't have to even look at it, no matter how loud it screams. Ignore it. Try, if you can! You'll get better and better at it.

Hugs,

HCHC

[[Sc...]]

Thanks everyone. I'm replying to all of u in one single post. I was on etizolam and paxil on 0.5 and 12.5. Propranolol was mixed with E with starting doze of 20 mg. I tapered the benzo for 15 months ( First 7 months cut and hold method, rest 8 months DMT after crossing to Valium) 

 

HCHC you're so close in understanding in what I'm going through. The voice of fear, uncertainty and hopelessness is really loud. It's very very loud and it's almost impossible to pass through except an underlying belief which has not yet turned to faith. 

[[Cr...]]

2 minutes ago, [[S...] said:

Thanks everyone. I'm replying to all of u in one single post. I was on etizolam and paxil on 0.5 and 12.5. Propranolol was mixed with E with starting doze of 20 mg. I tapered the benzo for 15 months ( First 7 months cut and hold method, rest 8 months DMT after crossing to Valium) 

HCHC you're so close in understanding in what I'm going through. The voice of fear, uncertainty and hopelessness is really loud. It's very very loud and it's almost impossible to pass through except an underlying belief which has not yet turned to faith. 

Are you still on .5 mg of Paxil? There are some similarities between benzo withdrawal and ssri withdrawal. The numb emotions could be from ssri taper adjustments. If you tapered slowly things should improve over time. SurvivingAntidepressants.org is like an AD version of this site and has useful info and support, assuming Paxil use is currently a contributor to your current state.

[[Sc...]]

I'm not on paxil anymore. I parallely tapered paxil along with benzo and it took 10 months. It's been 22 months I'm benzo and paxil free. 

[[Cr...]]

36 minutes ago, [[S...] said:

I'm not on paxil anymore. I parallely tapered paxil along with benzo and it took 10 months. It's been 22 months I'm benzo and paxil free. 

Ah okay. I wasn't sure based on the wording in your other post. It may be that those that come off of multiple psych drugs may require more time to recover than those that come off of one drug. Also you could be mostly healed from the benzo, but dealing with a longer PAWS from the Paxil or vice versa. It is hard to know.

I have seen many people claim that beta blockers affect their emotions negatively and cause depression. The research seems to be inconclusive on that, but it could be a factor that you can't rule out until you are finally off.

What is your daily life like? Are you able to get mild exercise (or walks) into your routine and get outside? Have you addressed the issues that got you onto benzos and paxil, or are they still factors in your life?

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I am able to go outside easily but not able to workout or exercise. Partially due to the hot and humid season. 

The issues which put me in benzo is almost in remission.