Deep thought on Sobriety & life

[[PE...]]

I think they try to talk to us with there sounds. But we don't understand lol.

 

[[ma...]]

I wrote longer to you about possible new hobby conserning focus more on my cat with toys , play , good food brushing and so on  , to help ourself too  the previous was gone @[PE...]and your future cat

[[PE...]]

Just now, [[m...] said:

I wrote longer to you about possible new hobby conserning focus more on my cat with toys , play , good food brushing and so on  , to help ourself too  the previous was gone @[PE...]and your future cat

Yes my future cat 🐯🐯

[[ma...]]

🐈 

[[ma...]]

I will say that not getting help for a dog that suffer so much its puke or cry every day is animal abuse . You have normal responsibility even if you are in withdrawl . Its the worst i have heard about

[[Le...]]

no help to be had. she would bite anyone who came near and humane society wanted her put down after complaints. your reaction is understandable but not informed. she is another victim of this. 

[[Le...]]

13 minutes ago, [[L...] said:

no help to be had. she would bite anyone who came near and humane society wanted her put down after complaints. your reaction is understandable but not informed. she is another victim of this. 

When the city came for her I actually refused them entry and got a call from the police. I told them what was going on and that I had noone to take her and the humane society wouldn’t do anything but kill her. I was told to keep her on a leash at all times outside and good luck. Never heard from then again. 

[[da...]]

On 05/05/2024 at 22:07, [[J...] said:

Anybody been in a position when you’ve been literally on some sort of drug your whole life,.you know the story,.starts with weed,drink,party drugs at weekends,.downers introduced,.bad life events# anti ds/Valium,.smoking weed again on top,I had breaks here and there when I discovered the gym,.that lead to gym juice abuse while still on anti ds,.Valium for sleep,.a short stat at hmp ripped me of it all apart from an anti d,.came out and hit the weed for the crap feeling on anti ds,.hit by another life avent,.mood stabilisers introduced with anti ds,still smoking weed,.got fed up feeling zombified,.had a horrid taper and inviting in benzos again,.start of this year I decided I wanted to see who was underneath the years of substance abuse,.and honestly the closer I get to sobriety even without the tapper,.the thoughts of it is a big hurdle itself,.I self medicating most my life for reasons that I don’t know I want to face,,add this crap tapper and invited more suffering in,..man today I’m just thinking why am I really doing this to myself,is life no hard enough without more suffering,.I feel I’ve had my fill allready,.I’ve come a long way as well but yea I could go back or forward right now.

Greetings, 

i know exactly how you feel. Life is hard already and then you have to deal with such challenges. 
 

I find myself spending my days just starring at people, at work, the mall, restaurants, wherever I go and envy them, seeing them smiling and just acting like normal people.

 

The feeling of wellbeing is an old friend that has since left years ago. Peace is a treasure that has been hard to find. But heres some light, i once was healed from the withdrawal symptoms & damaging effects of benzodiazepines & alcohol to name a few. And my brain was healthy and life actually felt normal, i felt connected to reality again, no DR/DP. Cognition was great. I was back for a few years, Uuuuuntil 
 

i lost all that progress i had made because i got back to drink 🍷. All the horror returned. So heres my advice about you deciding whether to go forward or backward, backwards is suicidal & inevitably itll be unbearable till you do something stupid. Forward is fighting for your life. The brain is incredibly elastic and you will heal! It takes time. Its not going to be easy i can promise you that after years of masking under various drugs, your brain will unpack a lot. 
 

man up, pray up, and lets fight together 

[[ma...]]

@[Le...] so dreadful that not a singel person could help you 2 . A shame !! Only make it worse for you . What a lousy society . How are you two now ?

[[Le...]]

all her hair except tail is back and we go running together. 

[[PE...]]

On 06/05/2024 at 03:49, [[T...] said:

I agree that it is healthy to reflect as you do.It sounds like you may have been self-,medicating ? Do you think it may help to get professional help- maybe a psychiatrist and/or a psychotherapist? Maybe a substance abuse rehab program? 

No it was years ago @[Tw...] 

And i was a weekend warrior lol. Worked hard and partied hard on weekends 😁

[[Ja...]]

Dave23 kinda thought that way myself over the years,I never quite got it that some folk could just have a drink,laugh and go home,I’m actually very lucky I made it this far with the cocktails I once took,.and I done this detox shit b4 and got through it,.it’s good to see your positive post man,.That’s the way we got to keep our minds at,As mutch as I like a drink I’ve never been in the deep end that way,.as if drugs were any better,.I know how hard the booze is to kick though and seen exactly the damage it can do,.I had an action plan to get of this benzo in 10 week but from what I’ve read and been advised I’m not giving it a time limit,I think I’ll be floating about benzo buddy’s for most this year the way it’s looking.

[[jo...]]

10 minutes ago, [[J...] said:

Dave23 kinda thought that way myself over the years,I never quite got it that some folk could just have a drink,laugh and go home,I’m actually very lucky I made it this far with the cocktails I once took,.and I done this detox shit b4 and got through it,.it’s good to see your positive post man,.That’s the way we got to keep our minds at,As mutch as I like a drink I’ve never been in the deep end that way,.as if drugs were any better,.I know how hard the booze is to kick though and seen exactly the damage it can do,.I had an action plan to get of this benzo in 10 week but from what I’ve read and been advised I’m not giving it a time limit,I think I’ll be floating about benzo buddy’s for most this year the way it’s looking.

I can relate. I like a drink (not at the moment of course) And although we feel like we'd rather be going through any other kind of withdrawl than this one, because this one is absolutely the worst, the truth is that alcohol destroys far more lives than benzos in general. The fact that you can buy it at the corner shop and it's so socially acceptable might have something to do with that. It's the most destructive of them all. Alcohol can produce PAWS too. Although I'd swap this for an alcohol withdrawl at the moment.

Edited May 8 by [jo...]

[[Ja...]]

Odym248 yea man there’s bound to be so many folk in the same boat for 1 reason or another bud,.Valium has floated about my life as well since my late teens,.I totally get it man popping these pills can totally make you get by in life a way that certain issues hold you back,.like I’ve found this last 2 week your in the right place here bud : )

[[ma...]]

Same/similar story for me mate. Mainly drink tho. I went to AA and did the 12 step programme. That's where you really start to dig deep to find and deal with the underlying issues that caused the addictions. It's not as painful as you think, but it can be difficult. Everyone I know who's been through the steps said today everyone should do the steps at some point. It's just a really good way to get better, mentally. And if you decide that the whole spiritual thing is interesting you can start to learn about that as well, though not necessary (that introduced a whole new level to my experience of reality and I loved it)

[[Ja...]]

Jonwil it’s that old saying bud,.choose your poison,.This carry on is going on everywhere being drink or drugs,.prescribed or not,.The fact that there’s a big group on here just trying to better themselves speaks volumes,.and every single 1 of us it going to go through a very rough experience,.it’s certainly testing,I hardly done anything yesterday apart from the basics,.i managed a walk in the country tonight,that couple hour out without people is bliss and always my best part of the day.

[[jo...]]

1 minute ago, [[J...] said:

Jonwil it’s that old saying bud,.choose your poison,.This carry on is going on everywhere being drink or drugs,.prescribed or not,.The fact that there’s a big group on here just trying to better themselves speaks volumes,.and every single 1 of us it going to go through a very rough experience,.it’s certainly testing,I hardly done anything yesterday apart from the basics,.i managed a walk in the country tonight,that couple hour out without people is bliss and always my best part of the day.

Good for you. Walking is good it helps me too.

[[Ja...]]

Mando I’ve had a little look over the 12 step program,and it’s most probably something amongst options I’ll need to have a look at,.what I’ve started to realise attempting this is the addiction is hooked up with my personality it’s been that long,.I really am putting my faith in the power of human healing,.spirituality is a good road the go down for sure,really good for helping the healing process to,.I’m a believer allready lol : )