Plenty of Pain, Then Comes The Greater Gain: Freedom!

[[st...]]

 

For 3 years, while tapering and going through withdrawal, I could not enjoy a sunny, breezy, perfect day. While outside, I would feel anxious, fearful, experiencing head pressure so strong and strange that I thought I would never recover from it. Had to pee every 10 minutes, while the sun was too hot and too bright. I asked myself nonstop: Why me? Why this horrible torture?

Today, while outside tending to my tomato plants, I noticed it was a perfect day and I had a perfect time, feeling and enjoying the breeze and the sun. Before, I couldn’t even brush against a tomato plant because the smell was just too strong. But now, I love their aroma! I wish and pray this time will come for all of you soon!

 

Edited June 16 by [st...]

[[Ba...]]

I’m so glad for you 

[[st...]]

4 hours ago, [[B...] said:

I’m so glad for you 

Thank You. Congratulations on getting off benzos. I had no feelings for anyone or anything for 10 months after being off.  I was worried because it was the total opposite of who i was before these pills. In the 11th month I started loving everything all over again: people in my life, pets, and life in general. Once you get better, and you will, everyone else will too, that's what happened to me.

[[Bl...]]

So happy for you. Thanks for coming back to support us . 

[[st...]]

 

I see your grief and feel your pain. While desperate and isolated, please know that I and others do care. I want to help you all because I rose from the depth of such sadness. And because I've been where you are, I am sure that you can get through it too.

The withdrawal from drugs will free your body, mind and soul. There is a high price tag to pay, but it’s worth mountains of gold. You’ll lift your head above it all and see your new vibrant self. You’ll go forward with tremendous compassion and appreciation for life.

 

 

[[Ba...]]

Stay still,

you are an angel.  We who are still in it need people like you to tell us everything will be ok. I know that this is my lifeline right now. Thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤️ 

[[st...]]

 

While in withdrawal I remember reading this passage and others about Jesus healing the sick:
(mind you I was not a Bible reader before this. I didn't even know it’s the most read book in the world):

Luke 8:43-48 King James Version (KJV)
"And a woman having an issue of blood twelve years, which had spent all her living upon physicians, neither could be healed of any, came behind him, and touched the border of his garment: and immediately her issue of blood stanched. And Jesus said, Who touched me? When all denied, Peter and they that were with him said, Master, the multitude throng thee and press thee, and sayest thou, Who touched me? And Jesus said, Somebody hath touched me: for I perceive that virtue is gone out of me. And when the woman saw that she was not hid, she came trembling, and falling down before him, she declared unto him before all the people for what cause she had touched him, and how she was healed immediately. And he said unto her, Daughter, be of good comfort: thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace."

After reading this, I remember falling asleep while also ‘holding’ with my fingers the garment of Jesus in his picture that was printed on the cover of the New Testament Bible. I was hoping that I would also be healed. It took a while but He must have been listening to me praying every night for healing because I did heal. I wish that He will also heal all of you soon.

 

[[st...]]

 

Prose dedicated to all those who will recover from psychiatric drugs.

The Future is Ours

They want to bury us, but they don't realize we are the seeds
that will grow into the strongest voices against mind control.

We will become advocates for new medicine that actually
starts with knowing the causes of diseases before treatment.

This knowledge has been and will be suppressed by
those who benefit from control of information and power.

They want to nullify us, label us, and drug us into oblivion,
but we will never allow these drugs to become our destination.

We will rise above it all and become pioneers of healthier therapies. Let’s allow ourselves this one time, so we can leave a positive mark.

They will try to neutralize us but karma is a b_ _ _ _!
Our ranks are growing and we won’t sit quietly in a corner.

We will ultimately win this fight for our minds, bodies and souls!

 

Edited June 20 by [st...]

[[WU...]]

10 minutes ago, [[s...] said:

medicine that actually
starts with knowing the causes of diseases before treatment

Amen to that!

[[be...]]

Congratulations on being Free of your "potion", both of those drugs are rough getting off, but you did it and by your list of sx, you were not spared from  really hard things to overcome. I believe that when healing occurs, we are stronger and we can conquer anything, because tapering off of these horrible drugs takes so much from us, but the Brain heals and in turn we do too. Thanks for the inspirational messages on "Brighter Side Of Life" I am leaving a link, for others to read. Your strength and beliefs have kept you strong from the Storm, and you deserve all the goodness in life. Peace.

 

[[st...]]

22 hours ago, [[b...] said:

Congratulations on being Free of your "potion", both of those drugs are rough getting off, but you did it and by your list of sx, you were not spared from  really hard things to overcome. I believe that when healing occurs, we are stronger and we can conquer anything, because tapering off of these horrible drugs takes so much from us, but the Brain heals and in turn we do too. Thanks for the inspirational messages on "Brighter Side Of Life" I am leaving a link, for others to read. Your strength and beliefs have kept you strong from the Storm, and you deserve all the goodness in life. Peace.

 

Thank You very much begood!  Being inside the Storm forced me to hold firmly onto anything and everything I could; and this in turn beefed up my mental and spiritual muscles. Thank you also for promoting my Lifting the Spirit soap box.  I love your Words to Lighten Our Day as well!

Just as there are potion takers because there are potion makers, there are potion makers because there are potion conceptualizers, but nobody talks about them.

They are those 'big picture' thinkers or philosophers as I call them. They first define the 'big problem' and then ask the potion makers to provide a very specific solution to it.

So, with my newly created mental muscles , i’ll get a little philosophical here to understand them and their concept a little better:

1 - An amateur like me can readily see a major fault with the potion’s design and effects. I would never EVER even try to release such a faulty product upon the unsuspecting public.

2 - I can only logically presume that the expert or specialist who designed it, must have also seen its effects while testing and 'perfecting' it.

3 - Therefore, he must be either comfortable with these faults or must not see them as such. Instead, he must see them as there by design!  

4 - Since they are all masters of their craft, it would be an insult to their brilliant minds to claim that they somehow technically failed or morally stumbled to allow these potions to cause any ‘unintended’ consequences.

5 -  So, in conclusion, rational reasoning requires one to admit that these potions must contain the exact formula necessary to achieve their exact desired purpose or maybe even dual purpose.

This is a 'proof of concept' that the potion conceptualizers got exactly what they conceptualized. Further support can be found in the six decades of its continued use without any major tweaks!

Just like the time that allowed our brain to heal, the time from 1960s to now, allows us to confirm that their continued inaction, dismissal, indifference, and denial speak for themselves. 'Accidental discoveries' that go uncorrected are no accidents.

One weakness or Achilles heel, in their deception, is that all those who overcome it, will no longer follow those who deceive. We also do become much stronger and now plenty capable to conquer any new obstacles thrown our way. Maybe that's why so much effort is made (everywhere else) to minimize our success.

Speaking of Ancient Greece, here are two interesting definitions:
fármako (Greek: φάρμακο) - drug
farmakós (Greek: φαρμακός, plural farmakoi) - in Ancient Greek religion, was the ritualistic sacrifice or exile of a human scapegoat or victim.

Finally, the ritual and exile are over and I hope that one day, they will no longer take place!

 

 

Edited June 22 by [st...]

[[be...]]

8 hours ago, [[s...] said:

Thank You very much begood!  Being inside the Storm forced me to hold firmly onto anything and everything I could; and this in turn beefed up my mental and spiritual muscles. Thank you also for promoting my Lifting the Spirit soap box.  I love your Words to Lighten Our Day as well!

Just as there are potion takers because there are potion makers, there are potion makers because there are potion conceptualizers, but nobody talks about them.

They are those 'big picture' thinkers or philosophers as I call them. They first define the 'big problem' and then ask the potion makers to provide a very specific solution to it.

So, with my newly created mental muscles , i’ll get a little philosophical here to understand them and their concept a little better:

1 - An amateur like me can readily see a major fault with the potion’s design and effects. I would never EVER even try to release such a faulty product upon the unsuspecting public.

2 - I can only logically presume that the expert or specialist who designed it, must have also seen its effects while testing and 'perfecting' it.

3 - Therefore, he must be either comfortable with these faults or must not see them as such. Instead, he must see them as there by design!  

4 - Since they are all masters of their craft, it would be an insult to their brilliant minds to claim that they somehow technically failed or morally stumbled to allow these potions to cause any ‘unintended’ consequences.

5 -  So, in conclusion, rational reasoning requires one to admit that these potions must contain the exact formula necessary to achieve their exact desired purpose or maybe even dual purpose.

This is a 'proof of concept' that the potion conceptualizers got exactly what they conceptualized. Further support can be found in the six decades of its continued use without any major tweaks!

Just like the time that allowed our brain to heal, the time from 1960s to now allows us to confirm that their continued inaction, dismissal, indifference, and denial speak for themselves. 'Accidental discoveries' that go uncorrected are no accidents.

One weakness or Achilles heel, in their deception, is that all those who overcome it, will no longer follow those who deceive. We also do become much stronger and now plenty capable to conquer any new obstacles thrown our way. Maybe that's why so much effort is made (everywhere else) to minimize our success.

Speaking of Ancient Greece, here are two interesting definitions:
fármako (Greek: φάρμακο) - drug
farmakós (Greek: φαρμακός, plural farmakoi) - in Ancient Greek religion, was the ritualistic sacrifice or exile of a human scapegoat or victim.

Finally, the ritual and exile are over and I hope that one day, they will no longer take place!

Yes we are Stronger! Amen!

[[st...]]

During withdrawal, this was my go to battle song. It put all the mental symptoms in their place. Since the devil drug made it personal, I had to be pumped up to give it right back.

 

I got joy in my soul
God is in control
I got satan drugs on my trail
But I'm singing all is well
He's attacking everyday
But I'm watching while I pray
No matter the attack
I won't turn back
This means war - This means war
This means war - This means war

I got joy in my soul
God is in control
I got satan drugs on my trail
But I'm singing all is well
He's attacking everyday
But I'm watching while I pray
No matter the attack
I won't turn back
This means war - This means war
This means war - This means war

I've been in the storm and the rain
But the blood still stays the same
Whatever's going wrong
My war clothes are on
I might be in a daze
But you can't have my praise
No matter the attack
I won't turn back
This means war - This means war
This means war - This means war
That's all you got - that's all you got?

 

My dance will crush the satan drugs under my feet

And I declare I got victory!

 

[[st...]]

 

I came across this quote today that was said about Valium in 2003 by Leo Sternbach, 95 at the time, credited with the discovery of Librium, Valium, Dalmane, Mogadon, Rohypnol, Klonopin, and Arfonad, while at Hoffmann-La Roche's old headquarters in Nutley, NJ:

"It had no unpleasant side effects. It gave you a feeling of well-being”

I had to deal with klonopin and then valium to come off of klonopin. Personally, I don’t share his opinion.

Now, he said this when the drug turned 40 years old, after decades of clinical trials. My question is: did he ever know the truth? Then I read the below quote:

“When a man who is honestly mistaken hears the truth, he will either quit being mistaken, or cease to be honest.” - unknown

 

[[st...]]

During my withdrawal, I saw no difference between
Sunday and Monday, Christmas and New Year,
Fourth of July or someone's birthday.
All days were the same: pretty bad.

Now that my "affliction" is over, I celebrate life every day:  
hang flags, plant trees, mow lawns, make pizza,
wish my peeps happy birthdays and take it easy on Sunday!
Wonderful Sundays to You all!

 

Edited June 23 by [st...]

[[he...]]

On 01/05/2024 at 08:29, [[P...] said:

I am 16 months out and feeling utterly utterly desperate. Don’t know how to make it through another day.

Thats still kinda normal... 18 months is wgen a bunch of my symptoms left like chemical terror, dr/dp, but the bad sleep, jerks and a bunch more still had very rough days and a few ok ones here and there. Then a lot of inprovement around 2 yrs, but still also windows and waves, then a big wave 2+ yrs then 2,5 yrs more windows but still wavy days in between. It just lasts a long time...

[[st...]]

 

During withdrawal I didn’t know who I was, a vegetable, an animal? There was zero spontaneity, it took my soul. When I recovered I got myself back. Everything came back and then some!

 

The Logical Song
Supertramp
When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful
A miracle, oh it was beautiful, magical
And all the birds in the trees, well they'd be singing so happily
Oh joyfully, oh playfully watching me

But then they send me away to teach me how to be sensible
Logical, oh responsible, practical
And then they showed me a world where I could be so dependable
Oh clinical, oh intellectual, cynical

There are times when all the world's asleep
The questions run too deep
For such a simple man
Won't you please, please tell me what we've learned
I know it sounds absurd
Please tell me who I am

I said, watch what you say or they'll be calling you a radical
A liberal, oh fanatical, criminal
Won't you sign up your name, we'd like to feel you're acceptable
Respectable, oh presentable, a vegetable!
Oh take it, take it, take it, yeah

But at night, when all the world's asleep
The questions run so deep
For such a simple man
Won't you please (Oh won't you tell me)
Please tell me what we've learned (Can you hear me)
I know it sounds absurd (Oh won't you help me)
Please tell me who I am

Who I am
Who I am
Who I am

'Cause I was feeling so logical
D-d-d-d-d-d-digital
One, two, three, five
Oh, oh, oh, oh yeah

Ooh it's getting unbelievable, yeah

 

[[st...]]

Being free of drugs now, I’m fully integrated.

[[st...]]

 

One thing I missed most during withdrawal was
planning long to-do lists to then complete.
So my only to-do list was:
- Just keep going!!!!!!!!

Remember, you made it yesterday.
You can do that today!

 

 

[[st...]]

 

It's Friday, for 3 years I was like: Just another
manic Friday, I wish it was a FunDay!!!!!!!

But anyway, my Dear Benzobuddies,
here is something I was pondering:

Positive Unintended Surprising Consequences
of a trip to hell and back, aka benzo withdrawal:

• I am more calm than anyone I know and that’s a lot of people
• I believe in God more than ever before
• I’m convinced making this poison is a futile attempt at playing god
• I think BenzoBuddies restores my faith in humanity
• I now have a 100 times more intense intuition than before
• I know FREEDOM is worth waiting for and fighting for
• I believe that truth is out there to be discovered

So have a good evening and keep going!

 

[[Gi...]]

On 01/05/2024 at 19:05, [[s...] said:

--------------

I now have no triggers. In my success story I listed some symptoms but here is a more complete list:

Abdominal pains and cramps
Aching jaw
Aching joints
Aching muscles,
Acute hyper excited state,
Agitated sight
Agitation
Allergic reactions
Allergic reactions to foods previously tolerated,
Allergy & nasal symptoms exacerbated,
Anxiety
Appetite - loss of
Ataxia - can't coordinate muscle movement,
Back pain,
Band around head,
Bladder incontinence
Bladder irritation - feeling of having an infection or cystitis,
Bleeding from the nose
Blepharospasm - eye twitches,
Bloated stomach, distended abdomen, (benzo belly),
Bloated, diarrhea, constipation,
Blood pressure fluctuations,        
Blurred vision, seeing spots, flashes, vivid vision
Body feels like jelly
Body odour - stinking sweat,
Body temperature fluctuations,
Body temperature reading higher or lower than 98.6,
Brachycardia - slow heartbeat/pulse,
Breathing difficulties
Breathlessness,
Bruxism (teeth grinding)    
Burning along the spine
Burning sensation around the mouth
Buzzing, burning, tingling limbs,
Changes in skin colour, tone, texture,
Chemical sensitivities
Chest tightness,
Chills - (can feel like the heebie-jeebies when viewing a scary movie),
Choking
Clumsiness
Confusion,
Constipation
Cracked and sore lips
Cramping in stomach,
Crying fits,
Dark circles under the eyes,
Decaying teeth and bleeding gums,      
Dental pain,
Diarrhea,   
Difficulty swallowing
Difficulty holding a fork, due to muscle weakness,
Difficulty writing,
Disorientation       
Distended abdomen
Dizziness - in general, or a feeling like falling off the couch/chair/bed   
Dry mouth
Dry throat, sore tongue, and thrush
Dry, itchy skin
Dry, tickly cough
Dyspepsia (indigestion)
Dysphagia (difficulty eating or swallowing)
Dyspnea (breathing difficulty)        
Earache, and sinus problems,
Electric shock feelings
Excitability
Exercise - love it but could not, exacerbating all benzo symptoms,
Exhaustion,
Extreme cold,
Extreme lethargy    
Extremely nervous and jumpy       
Eyes - sore, tired, seeing floaters, spots, itchy,
Falling hair, graying hair
Fatigue, leaden heaviness
Fear  
Faeces - appears abnormal looking,
Feeling bloated
Feeling of extreme cold
Feeling of impending doom             
Feelings of shaking inside and out
Fingernail problems - median nail dystrophy (line/ridge down the centre)
Flashbacks
Fluctuations in blood pressure
Flushing,
Fuzzy feeling in head,
Gait disturbance - hard to walk straight,
Gastritis
Glassy eyes
Goosebumps - very visible to the eye,
Grinding teeth
Hemorrhoids
Hair - loss, thinning, dullness,
Headaches - mild or severe,
Heartburn
Heavy arms, legs and head,
Hurts to wear clothes, a car seatbelt,
Hyper sensitive (unable to watch the news, see films, read the newspaper),
Hyperactivity
Hyperacusis - profound hearing sensitivity, hurts to talk on the phone, music, etc.,
Hyperosmia (sensitive sense of smell),
Hyperreflexia (‘jumpiness’)
Hypersensitivity to being touched,
Hypersensitivity to light, sound, and other stimuli
IBS - irritable bowel syndrome,
Impacted bowels,
Impairment of motor coordination,
Inability to comprehend the simplest things,
Inability to concentrate,
inability to cope with a lot of information
Inability to draw a satisfying breath,
Inability to read
Incontinence, frequent need to urinate, to hold or pass urine,
Increased saliva
Indigestion
Insomnia       
Intense fuzzy feeling in the head               
Intense jaw pain             
Irritability
Jaundice,
Jaw, tooth, neck and shoulder aches and pains,
Jaws clamped together
Jerks in arms, legs fingers.
Joint aches and pains,
Jumpiness,
Lack of concentration
Lack of co-ordination
Left/Right-sided symptoms,
Legs arms and head very heavy
Leukonychia (whitening of nails)
Loss of concentration
Loss of control of movement,
Loss of memory
Loss of taste or metallic taste
Loss of appetite
Lung pain,
Memory problems - short term,
Mouth and tongue soreness,
Muscle spasms
Muscle tone, wastage,
Muscle weakness,
Muscles locking and rigidity,
Muscular aches, pains, cramps, spasms,
Muscular rigidity,
Nausea
Nervous ticks or twitches,
Nervousness
Neurological problems - topical nerve anaesthesia,
Night sweats,
Nose bleeds,
Numbness - around the face, mouth or any other part of the body,
Numbness, pain,
Painful scalp
Pains in neck and shoulders,
Pains in temple,
Pains in the chest       
Pains in the lungs
Paraesthesia (numbness, tingling)
Perspiring, night sweats
Pins and needles
Premature wrinkling around the eyes and face,
Problems of decaying teeth
Rapid blinking of the eyes
Rapid changes in body temperature
Rapid mood changes
Rapid weight loss
Rashes and blotches on skin,
Recurring sore throat,
Restlessness
Saliva running from the mouth at night
Scalp pain and burning,
Screwing up of the eyes
Seeing spots before the eyes
Seizure - 1
Sensitive or painful teeth
Severe cramping in the stomach       
Severe headaches
Severe muscle rigidity
Shaking - inside or out or both,
Sharp throbbing pain in the wrists
Shivering - feelings of extreme cold or hot,
Short-term memory impairment
Sinus pain
Skin problems - dry, itchy, rashes, slow healing, tickling, burning,
Smell problems - everything smells bad,
Smelling bad, but only to you,
Sore and tired eyes
Sore mouth and tongue
Speech difficulties
Stomach cramps
Stuttering,
Swallowing difficulties       
Sweating
Teeth - pain, throbbing, sensitivity, feel like they are falling out, grinding,
Tension between eyes,
Thrush-like symptoms,
Tickling and itching
Tight band around the head       
Tight band around the legs and ankles,
Tightness in the chest
Tightness in the head
Tinnitus (buzzing or ringing in the ears)
Tiredness       
Toe and finger nails change color
Tongue - sore, burning,
Toxic naps - feeling worse upon wakening,
Tremor or feeling of inner vibration
Twitching of the head
Under-eye puffiness,
Sensitive (unable to watch the news on television or the newspaper)
Urinary problems (continence or incontinence)
Vertigo
Visual disturbances - waves, sparks, flashes of light, seeing spots, floaters,  blurry
Voice quality changes,
Vomiting

I’m sure a few are forgotten but it was all worth it.

May I ask if you had tightness in your torso and back area? Thank you 🙏 

[[st...]]

On 10/07/2024 at 13:46, [[G...] said:

May I ask if you had tightness in your torso and back area? Thank you 🙏 

Hi, I did have very serious torso and back pain for about a year and then it went away. Hope you'll feel better soon.

[[...]]

On 10/06/2024 at 11:17, [[s...] said:

In the past few generations, many of us have become complacent, soft, dependent, as if swimming in a sea of malaise, not using our will to become stronger mentally and physically.

But imagine people during World War 2, no food, no shelter, no electricity, no sources of credible information, no drugs to make them more comfortable or sedated. People overcame because they knew they had to, no matter what stood in their way.

When, after a seizure caused by these poisons, I found myself on a floor laying in bodily fluids and not remembering who I was, I swore to never let anything control me like this and resolved to come off these drugs at any cost necessary. I knew that I was stronger than this rubbish and would win eventually because of the thousands of brave, wonderful people who proved it has been done in their success stories!  

So I finally did. It was the toughest trip I ever took but now I am a force to be reckoned with. I’m glad overcoming this experience took a form of training or a bootcamp because now I will never doubt my strength again.

@[st...] your journey is inspiring- I’m struggling right now at 2.5 Valium off of Ativan on a taper.  The fast heart rate all day and night is unbearable did that happen to you ? Does it last long ? 

[[st...]]

 

Many of you are wondering: will my capacity to love come back?
Will I be able to love, feel passionate, care, laugh and have beautiful dreams?
The answer is yes. I am 100% sure of it because it happened to me.
My prayers for your speedy recovery are with you!

 

[[st...]]

9 hours ago, [[r...] said:

I pray it will happen. It’s been 24 months and it’s so terrible gone. Everything about me is gone.

 

Hi, it took me a long time, 3 years total of taper and post taper. And then, everything came back. It may be slow at first but eventually it all comes back. It did for me. Here is a video that made me believe it during withdrawal: