When will it end? Anyone tempted to reinstate?

[[Gr...]]

not going to make it. shaking. burning. headache. Shivering Can't go on I am weak. It's too hard for me. 

Edited October 7, 2023 by [Gr...]
typo

[[Gr...]]

this is hell. I have to ask a doc to give me X again. This is too much. Waiting for maybes. No diagnosis. What is going on with me? Guesses. not enough

[[Gr...]]

I'm pacing bc of the pain. Is this aka? Tell me it's not

[[Gr...]]

I heard thoughts on Lyrica and Gabapentin for this horrible paresthesia or neuropathy I have going on. None about anything else that may have helped others? Cymbalta? Don't know of it. Amtryptiline? I read anout that somewhere. I don't know. Has to be something to help this.

Am I going back if I try Lyrica? Will it set me back?  It could take weeks to work if it does. I need somethibg to relax these nerves. Some kind of misfiring going on. I am in agony

[[Re...]]

@Grace2023 I believe you are in a difficult place. Does ice help? Please try to distract. Sometimes a radio, warm bath /colder shower, phone call or Sudoku, or preparing a nice tea helps. 

I remember you are very functional, much better in comparison to me. Your symptoms do subside with time.

I always say "This, too, shall pass" and it does help!

Please remember that what you are feeling is the withdrawal. The whole thing! 

[[Gr...]]

@[Re...] My nasal passages and upper lip are completely numb and I have pressure in my face as if something is lodged in my sinuses and center of my face. My tongue and throat keep getting numb on and off. This worries me I have nerve damage. My skin is raw. I don't know why I have thiae in these places. Plus pins & needles a lot roday with a headache. I didn't have this before taking that stuff and not during, only after WD.

I know I can't see far into future, but I am in pain and discomfort. I want to get treatment before it gets worse or damaged. Were you the obe who said Lyrica did not work? I am very depressed right now. I am not feeling better at all. Not a drop. Losing my will. I want to be me again -- today.  I keep thinking of trying the Xanax again. Maybe it will calm this

I may be stressing my heart. Afraid I will have heart attack

 

Edited October 7, 2023 by [Gr...]

[[Re...]]

It is always your decision when it comes to choices regarding medication. No, I never wrote about gabapentin. 

I do have similar symptoms you do. Like a worm crawling under my skin around my nose. Very disturbing, but they do ease with time. They do get better. Whatever you decide to do, try to distract yourself even for only 5 minutes, than again and again, repeat. It works wonders!!!

[[Gr...]]

@[Re...] That's what underlying symptom feels like, skin is crawling and throbbing today. My face keeps swelling with skin sensitivity. I don't want to live with this. I feel hideous too. This is a cruel joke

@[Re...] What does thst mean the withdrawal? Is it passing? But so many people can long for it to pass. This is so difficult. 

Edited October 7, 2023 by [Gr...]
typo

[[Gr...]]

I can't seem to do this. I'm not strong as everyone else. My neck is closing up. My ears are caving in. I'm itchy. Too many things that won't go away. Inflamed again under left nostril and I don't know how to treat it. My husband is worried about my frame of mind. 

The medical community needs to learn how to help us. I want to reach out to a dr but what will they do? I need something to treat all of this. 

How do you get strength to keep going? I am so lost

[[Re...]]

Oh I am so far away from being strong. I have better moments sometimes, but very bad ones too. I can show you compassion, I know how you feel. 

I meant that you are in an exaggerated state of worry about everything, I know this feeling, that's part of the package. Please try to distract as I suggested. It helps me a lot. 

[[Gr...]]

@[Re...] Does anyone ever come out of this early -- like a month or so? Is everyone plagued with symptoms for years? I've probably asked these questions already. I feel I can be in acute and be one who is okay in a few weeks which follows my last Ambien dose.

I'm told to give it time, does that always mean more months, years?

I am trying to figure out what protracted is. Is it when acute is over and it happens sometime after that, like after a break?

I want to be in acute now. Does anyone know for sure where I am?  

Is it all all possible for this to pass for me, soon? Is it unheard of to pass real soon?

I know no one knows how long this goes on, but what about the people who don't come here or the ones who have a a few posts and don't come back? There has to be many of them.

Couldn't they have healed in a short time? 

Wouldn't I have signs now that symptoms are dropping off? For the symptoms that did dropvoff, are they signs? Icwish there was a solid answer. I can't do this much longer without signs of easing. I pray everyday.

Recovery places say acute my be up to 8 weeks. Is that reasonable for average?

@[Re...] I don't feel I have a lot of time to spare given my age. I am desperate to get well asap or I will not make it. I was never suicidal or like that, and I wouldn't even know where to start, but this is taking a huge toll on me, I could be impulsive which is what I usually am not. My husband knows I'm upset and he is worried because he's never seen me like this. 

There has to be a doctor who can work with me. I called a lot of places with no luck. 

Sorry for all the questions. 

 

[[Re...]]

I pretty much have the same questions you have.... What I realized is, if I try to accept the thing as it is, to the point of letting it go, I do feel better. 

There are a lot of people stopping this medication with little issues. There are also many with huge, life changing problems. I think we are in the middle. You are indeed very functional, I read you take your dogs for a walk and go out of the house quite a lot. I think that is a huge accomplishment and good indicator of your healing. 

Noone can tell when we heal completely, but we do heal every day, you do too. It may take longer as we expected. I truly think accepting this thing and simply giving it time helps our soul calm down and fast forwards healing. 

Big hugs to you. 

Edited October 7, 2023 by [Re...]

[[de...]]

@[Gr...]  Here are a few answers for you.

Protracted withdrawal is defined as still being symptomatic 18 months after withdrawal.   You are nowhere near protracted.

Acute is typically when you first jump off your benzo.   This can take a few weeks to a couple of months.  I assume you are in acute right now.

I know we all want a quick fix, but if there is a quick fix someone would have found it by now.  

Most doctors are not familiar with benzo recovery, so I am not sure going to a doctor of any kind would be helpful right now, unless you have a situation that you cannot attribute to benzo withdrawal.

This site has members that have all different experiences in withdrawal.   No two experiences are exactly the same so it is hard to predict the duration or intensity of your symptoms.   Once the acute phase is over, you might develop a pattern of windows and waves, although this is not guaranteed.   Some people never experience windows.

Hope this helps.

 

[[El...]]

@[Gr...], it helps me to write down everything I want to accomplish when I’m feeling better. Take a trip to the beach. Have lunch with friends and be engaged with conversation. And on and on. These things give me hope that I did these things once and will do them again. I also journal about everything causing me worry; the act of writing them down makes me calmer and makes it easier to shut the book on them. It also helps to have a trusted person with whom you can discuss your thoughts and help you. It helps me to make near-term positive goals for the day: clean the closet, work, take the dogs for a walk, weed the garden, make a new recipe for dinner, or go shopping for the ingredients. Focusing my energy on doing tasks helps distract me from me.

Edited October 7, 2023 by [El...]

[[Gr...]]

@[de...] I am so scared. I'm sure you can tell that by now. I am scared I will go off the deep end if I get impulsive. I am scared of how much longer I have to deal with this. Unable to distract enough from this horrible pain, because I want to do so many things that have been pushed aside while being on X and being off it. I felt more whole 2 months ago on it, than now. I am desperate to feel whole very, very soon, like yesterday.  I am devastated by this thing. It doesn't feel right not being able to make plans and not being free.

The neurologist appt I have is for a 2nd opinion, but it's far from home and I have to go during rush hour. I thought maybe they can do a nerve function test. If it comes out good, then for certain this is withdrawal and fingers crossed there's no damage. If it comes out bad, then I'm screwed. Not what I want to happen. I will stay on their wait list for a better appt.  I don't know if this is circulation. My age and sedentary life is against me.

Too much pain right now. Signing off.  Thank you Decatur.

 

[[Gr...]]

@[El...] I feel altered. As if I am no longer the same person.  I watched what I ate for a healthy diet, but now I have to watch even more bc of withdrawal? This sets me back. I never had food reactions. I feel violated by these drugs.  I want to scream. I want to eat hot wings again. Never had a problem. I could eat very hot sauce. It can't happen that I can't do that anymore. 

Writing down what I want to do and being able to do them could be a long time from what I see on this site. I am having difficulty comprehending Ivam in the midst of this. It's wrong. I can't starve myself with bland meals and have to wait to do things. I'm not accepting this.

I am overwhlemed. I won't last

[[Gr...]]

it has to be a relief going back on yhe med than to live like a vegetable. I eas eating anything. I have an epi-pen bc I have bad allergies. I neverxwanted to use it, but what if I have to? I am set back?  No. this can't be real. Live in a bubble? No.

Impossible for me. I need to be better asap. I am not dealing well with this

[[pi...]]

5 minutes ago, [[G...] said:

it has to be a relief going back on yhe med than to live like a vegetable. I eas eating anything. I have an epi-pen bc I have bad allergies. I neverxwanted to use it, but what if I have to? I am set back?  No. this can't be real. Live in a bubble? No.

Impossible for me. I need to be better asap. I am not dealing well with this

@[Gr...],

I honestly can’t think of anything new to say that hasn’t been said before by your good and caring buddies here. I feel your denial is fueling your fear. I suppose I would think it’s a small price to pay if I couldn’t eat hot wings in order to let my body’s and nervous system heal. 

Nobody deals well with benzo withdrawal, but we cope. Seeing a friend and a couple family members die while I was in recovery was a wake up call for me. My condition wasn’t terminal. 

I believed in the ability of my system to recover, I knew it wouldn’t be tomorrow or the next day or even next week. My choice to believe kept me on the path that withdrawal chose to take. You can do this as well, if you choose to.

[[Gr...]]

@[pi...] That's only 1 on the list. There are so many things.  I don't want these symptoms to be with me for who knows how long. In the beginning I thought I may need a few more weeks. I am reading so many things about people in acute for up to a year? Is that because they went back and forth. or are on other meds like AD? I can't accept this in this darkness. These are things I need to feel better that I am getting closer. If my pain was in another part of my body, then I may be able to rest it, etc. It's not. It's in the most ridiculous place where I can't do anything about it. Every day is a month for me. I don't want to go back on thst stuff, and I don't know who will give it to me, and I don't know if it will help. I am upset I'm not feeling better. I am so upset I am in this predicament. I was embarrassed to tell my husband and my doctor. 

It's so painful today and my legs are shaky. I can't stand up. How can I live like this? I can't make plans. It's not getting better. There should b some things better by now. I'm stuck. 

my skin is damaged so I can't use lotion. Everything is messed up

Sonething has to give. Months from now? A year? Who knows when. I'm a prisoner in my own body

No. I'm not accepting this. This shoukd hsve never happened to me. I kbew better. If I didn't know that doctor from where I used to work, I would have never gone to him. All for something to sleep.

Edited October 7, 2023 by [Gr...]
typo

[[be...]]

@[Gr...] Piano Girl gave you good advice, in fact many that have posted also have. The only thing I can add, maybe you need to Forgive yourself for taking the sleep medication, and then try to get through the days ahead, you are stressing your already stressed body and brain, you can do this, you can get better, but you are going to have to dig down for that patience and allow time to work, and it will. I wish you well and if you have time, Teddy has posted a great stress reliever link just now.💖Peace and Healing

 

Edited October 7, 2023 by [be...]

[[Gr...]]

@[be...] You are right. I'm sorry everyone. Everyone is helping me. I wouldn't be here if you weren't. The only reason I am not back on that stuff is the encouraging words sent to me. I know derp down if I did take it again, one pill a day won't be enough because of the interdose. 

I am confused with all of this. I thought it was enough to at least wean myself off and have some symptoms, but not so many and intense for so long. Long as many of you have them, which frightens me. I am not as worried as to what will happen, I am worried this will go on tomorrow, the day after, etc. It's grueling.

It's once again pain starting to get worse and I'm already swollen.  It's evening here. I can't figure out what this is. I want it gone. Please, God.

I have to sleep tonight. No sleep is affecting my health and mood. 

 

 

 

 

[[me...]]

Hi grace 2023 

Sorry to hear you are going through a tough time. I don't know what to suggest but reading on others comments reinstating might not work. Maybe you are having a healing crisis and it could stabilise I know it's frightening and lonely place to be. Take care and go easy on yourself you are strong🙏

[[Gr...]]

@[me...] I wish doctors would take the time to learn about this. We could use their help. They are supposed to care for us. I am alone most of the time. My husband works a lot. No family. Friends moved or passed. I'm retired.

Symptoms get worse at night. So uncomfortable I cannot sleep. My throat is closing up and my tongue is numb now. How does a pill do so much harm even when it's out of us? 

I don't know much about the foods, what is good and bad. I may be eating something that's slowing me down? I barely eat as it is. Do you know about that stuff? Is it real or just theory?

Reinstating is tempting, but I'm between a rock and hard place. No guarantee it will help and then I have to take doses through the day and be a zombie again. It robbed me of my personality. I want to get better to feel alive again. Laugh. Smile. Enjoy. Be me.

You feel like that, don't you? We all want this to be done.

I'm sorry everyone. We are all roughing it. It's not all about me. When I am feeling horrible, I lose sight. I am scared.

 

 

[[me...]]

Hi grace 2023 

I agree the doctors have alot to answer for they just dish the tablets out and don't follow up or don't listen.

Grace you have the strength to do this my journey is just begging I have other health probs which at the moment are restricting my life....I'm frustrated and angry at the medical profession have messed up I have put in a complaint to the parliamentary ombudsman.    That makes me feel something will be done....

Grace have faith in your self. Your life will return to normal. We have to go thro fire at the moment but shall come out stronger your body is intelligent to know what to do and what you can eat.....try and just go with it.. it's very hard to...I'm in the same boat as others at BBS are you are not alone take care🙏

[[An...]]

Try to hang in there Grace. Use this forum to vent all you want. This community supports you no matter what. We all know the hell you go through trying to detox these drugs. I can tell you are in a lot of pain. I have been there when I was on Klonopin. Even tho you hate the thought of reinstating, the pain you have to endure will make you have second thoughts. I wish you could find something that could give you a little bit of relief. I think we all have in us only so much we can take before we reach a breaking point.