When will it end? Anyone tempted to reinstate?

[[st...]]

Hi can someone explain what " kindle" means  I've heard that In Benzo withdrawals.

Edited October 3, 2023 by [st...]

[[de...]]

Kindling is when you have had repeated withdrawals from a benzo, or other psychotropic drugs.   There is anecdotal evidence to suggest that with each subsequent withdrawal your symptoms become more intense.   

[[Gr...]]

@[de...] Not sure if kindling applies to me. 

[[Gr...]]

@[Si...] What OTC antihistamines would be good? Do you need to take any? 

[[Si...]]

No.  I don't know which ones...you could ask a pharmacist?  I think there are also antihistamine creams and steroid creams...I'm just guessing, I've no idea if it would help but maybe worth a try.  

[[Pa...]]

4 minutes ago, [[S...] said:

steroid creams

Just a quick note, some members have had reactions to steroid creams, not saying you will. 

[[Gr...]]

@[Si...] Does the antihistamine have any significance to the withdrawal? Or did you suggest bc of the burning feeling? I, honestly think it's nerve impulses.  I get stinging pain in the perimeter of my face. I also have numbness. What are the chances I just came down with neuropathy or paresthesia for no other reason were other than coincidentally stop0a benzo, you know?

I just took a Benadryl.  See what that does.

This is a nightmare.  

 

 

 

 

Edited October 3, 2023 by [Gr...]

[[Gr...]]

Am I imagining all of this? It cannot be real.  What's happening to me?I need to get my life back. I have to be better before I go to my mother-in-law's for Thanksgiving. Holidays are coming. How can I socialize the way I am?

I am losing it. It'll wrong

[[Pa...]]

Fighting this is hurting you, accepting this will help and accepting how long its going to take will too.  Instead of expecting to be better by Thanksgiving, you might want to take this time to prepare your coping strategies.  We all learn tricks to help us get through the unavoidable social events, or some of us simply say, I’m sorry, but I can’t be there this year.  

You have an injury, and your body is busy repairing it and we can’t expect this repair to happen overnight, it doesn’t work that way.  

[[Gr...]]

@[Pa...] I have to go see her. She's 83 and I haven't seen her in years. 

This is hard on everyone. I can only speak for myself in saying I am not going to last. I see what this has done to me. I have aged more than I know I would have if I hadn't used them. I have so many side effecs from this. It's so painful It's hard to be distracted. I think I am in protracted because I missed those 2-3 weeks of doses and took them again to start the 3.5 wk taper. I was so ahead before taking it again because I had no symptoms. Now look at me.

I am very, very, very down. I see here how many people suffer for so long and I can't help but think it will be me, too because nothing is lifting. It just should be out of me by now.

[[Ch...]]

On 30/09/2023 at 12:12, [[G...] said:

@[Gr...] I hear you. I am tolerance and I am suffering a lot. Trying to look forward to the taper but hard. 

[[Gr...]]

@[Ch...] I'm sorry, Chantal. This is so horrible. I never knew anything like this haopened, otherwise I would have asked questions or did research. We are not warned of the withdrawal complications. I am not doing well at all.

I hope we have success stories to write very soon. 

[[Ch...]]

I knew but too late and already on it for a while. Not this extent. Been on since 2008 no issues until this March. 

[[Gr...]]

 

This is absurd. Am I reading right? People have years of setbacks taking Pepcid? Eating soy sauce? Other things? This cannot happen. I want to eat anything I want as I did before. 

A bad night. Skin once again feels tight as if it's being stretched across my face. Burning. I don't want to be like this for months or years! I want to be one those who get past this. Are there any people like that?  Are they the ones who don't come back on here or not here at all bc they made it? Why is this happening to me? I should have never taken that stuff. I'm so mad at myself. It's like suicide.

I don't want meds, but I'm getting desperate. Maybe I need antipressant for the pain? IDK. I'm afraid of what to try. So many horror stories. Are there non-addictive rellaxing meds so I can calm and sleep?

I'm trying to be patient, but I'm 7 weeks in horrible pain and agony. Not letting up. Is it permanent? Does this do permanent damage? Do I have permanent nerve damage?  I was so healthy. Was.

 

[[Gr...]]

My life is over bc of this. Everything is different. I feel like an invalid. My face is numb. I can't live like this. Do I have nerve damage. Reinstate or start something else? How do I get the feeling back in my face? I'm so lost. How can I do this? Help me God

[[Gr...]]

I wasn't in distress and incompacitated 8 weeks ago. I should have stayed on that junk. I had no idea what I was in for with this. I thought I'd have shakes, things like that, that woukd subside. I need a sign. How much longer? I have to slerp help help me. Is God here for anyone?

[[Ch...]]

I feel your pain I have the same fear. I have not started yet. Looks like you have a support system  I don’t I am along without means to support myself during the taper. I am not the expert but I am looking just like you 

[[Ru...]]

Grace, you need to start helping yourself dear instead of hurting yourself even further. As Pamster said, you MUST accept your condition and start working on healing yourself. You say you feel like an invalid. Well maybe I will sound harsh but right now you are. We all were. I went through it during 2019 and 2020. Even now I feel things here and there but I am way way better, waaaay better. Like you I was counting minutes for something that will take years. It will take years to get really better ! The sooner you accept that and start working on healing you brain, calming your mind, the sooner you will be on the path of recovery. Meditation, changing your life, everything in your life, sharing and explaining to people, ... it will all help. Exercise,  please exercise. This will be the most humbling and probably the most difficult expirience of your life. And once you find yourself on the other side you will be a changed person, probably for the best. 

[[Gr...]]

Hi @[Ru...]. I have been exercising. I have gym equipment downstairs. I went food shopping and to the pharmacy today and it was the fastest I've ever done that because I was in such dire pain, I needed to get home and use an ice pack (which gives minutes of relief). The bridgecof my nose is so painful, it is difficult to wear my prescription glasses while driving which by law, I have to.  I made myself a healthy salad and baked salmon dinner. I did things around the house and washed my floors tonight, cared for my dogs, did some things on the computer, and all the while I was in horrific pain as I am now while I write this. These do not distract me. The pain distracts me. I am sick of 7 weeks, 49 days of continuous 24/7 pain, every freaking day. Add in 11 weeks of deafening tinnitus that showed up after I missed doses. If a home wasn't so damn expensive (rip-off), I'd go live in one.

The pain increases in great intensity as soon as the sun starts to set. (Very strange.) I am up nights in pain. I haven't slept in 2 nights, again. I will be taking my dogs out soon. Right now, my skin burns and my nose aches. I really don't know why I have symptoms in these uncommon places. Very odd.

I saw an ENT surgeon this morning. He used a camera and concluded my nasal passages are not dry even though this demonic WD makes it seem that way. I am now using Xhance, a Flonase inhalant device to try to reduce inflammation which didn't seem to be a problem. Again, demonic WD mystery symptoms. I hope to see a neurologist next week. I won't be surprised if he doesn't know about withdrawal and just prescribes another poison pill that he "thinks" might help, just like the other neurologist who said the med should have been out of me. Yeah, right.

Edited October 5, 2023 by [Gr...]
addition

[[Gr...]]

If it seems I am impatient, well yes, I am. I am petrified I have nerve damage. Plus, I am older and making a mistake like this, having to lose time in my life is not easy. This involvement with a prescribed med is the biggest mistake I've ever made. It's not like I can't hope a judge lets me off,  I get a break or I csn find a way to fix it. I can't undo this. There's no fix.  It's a sin what happens after taking that junk.

I've lost 7 weeks of my life so far which is a lifetime when you're my age. This is not how I expected to live my golden years. Should I have known better? Probably, and I would have still taken a prescribed pill out of trust for the doc, but I still would have never known or asked about withdrawal, I was not told about it, not by the doc or pharmacist. According to CVS's leaflet, there is nothibg about withdrawal and they say dependence could occur with people who have a history of addiction. What kind of BS is that?

Edited October 5, 2023 by [Gr...]
revision

[[Pa...]]

I wanted to point out that steroids have been known to cause problems for people going through benzodiazepine withdrawal and recovery, you might want to do some research on Flonase,

Thank you for sharing your typical level of activity, you’re extremely high functioning for being so early in recovery, good for you for keeping up such a demanding schedule.  

I did the same, I worked full time then came home and did house projects, anything to pass the time.  Did this stop the pain, the fear and the anger, no but it passed the time and time is what we need because every minute away from the drug is leading us to recovery. 

[[pi...]]

9 hours ago, [[G...] said:

If it seems I am impatient, well yes, I am. I am petrified I have nerve damage. Plus, I am older and making a mistake like this, having to lose time in my life is not easy. This involvement with a prescribed med is the biggest mistake I've ever made. It's not like I can't hope a judge lets me off,  I get a break or I csn find a way to fix it. I can't undo this. There's no fix.  It's a sin what happens after taking that junk.

I've lost 7 weeks of my life so far which is a lifetime when you're my age. This is not how I expected to live my golden years. Should I have known better? Probably, and I would have still taken a prescribed pill out of trust for the doc, but I still would have never known or asked about withdrawal, I was not told about it, not by the doc or pharmacist. According to CVS's leaflet, there is nothibg about withdrawal and they say dependence could occur with people who have a history of addiction. What kind of BS is that?

I had a blog a long time ago, it was a great place for me to connect with other buddies. I met some wonderful folks, we propped each other up and exchanged some fun stories and anecdotes about our lives. Having a blog is not my point here. My point is that every day I started my blog with something positive. It might have been that I actually got dressed before 3pm, or that I made muffins. The idea is to look at what went ok that day, instead what what didn’t.

In the grand scheme of things, 7 weeks is not that long. I have had 2 major shoulder surgeries in the past year. Yes, I was unable to do much for a very long time but I’m not complaining about that, I’m moving forward, rehabbing and getting back to all the fun things I like to do. 

Thinking positively won’t heal you faster or take away the symptoms but it sure makes them more bearable.

[[Gr...]]

@[Pa...] @[pi...]

I spent the first 6 months of this year with some kind of unilateral TMJ/trigeminal pain shooting through the left side of my face and upper teeth. This was carried over from Dec of 2022. I saw 2 dentists, endodontist, fam doc, neurologist, and pain doc. I went for PT. Finally felt better in July. Then this happened in August. I had 1 month of being pain free this year. 

This is now bilateral pain and numbness. Something I've never had before. I am doing the PT exercises with no luck. I seem to have uncommon symptoms in a place that not only cause me me pain without any way of treating or resting it, but emotional pain. Being a female, I certainly am upset that I can't take care of my skin or at least use sunscreen because it burns so badly. My nose is numb and swelled to where I am self-conscious and it makes me upset. My nose is one that "fits my face" so now this is very noticeable. It may sound comical. but not to me. I thank you for trying to help me feel better, but you do realize this may be nerve damage that can be with me forever? I don't even know WTH it is.  Plus, it causes horrible pain at the bridge and I have tremendous pressure in that area. I can't wear glasses. I need to use the Xhance-Flonase spray to try in case this is nasal inflammation. I missed a month of allergy shots and Zyrtec because of this WD, so treatment for inflammation is needed.

Another thing that gets me upset about this WD is that I won't know if I am really in need of medical treatment. It's limiting me to what medication I would need if I wasn't in this mess. It limits what I can eat. Add that to my 24/7 pain and losing sleep. Every day is harder because I am not better. I keep asking, "When will it end?"  The only thing keeping me from a darker place is my dogs. 

I wish I knew if going back on that stuff would make this go away because I would do it. 

You may be sick of me complaining, but 1 pain-free month out of the last 11 (count Dec 2022) is not good enough for me. I wish I could find a way to treat and eliminate my pain.

 

Edited October 5, 2023 by [Gr...]
addition

[[Pa...]]

@[Gr...], I’m not “sick of you complaining”, I’m trying to reassure you, we need to hear these assurances over and over again because the drug lies to us and tells us we’ll never recover.  We understand this, those of us who have made it through are here to help you know you can too.  I hope you can stay the course and not have to repeat this terrible time in your life by reinstating but if you do, we’ll be here for you every step of the way, this is what we do.

I don’t have any data other than anecdotal but I’ve noticed this process seems to hit us at our weakest point, yours seems to be in the area of your face because of your recent trauma there.  Others have sensitivities in their gut before benzo withdrawal and their major area of complaint is gastrointestinal problems.  Others have a propensity for headaches before they withdraw and that’s where it seems to hit them when they do.

What I’m trying to say is that this may be the case with you, your recent trauma could be why this is hitting you so hard in your face.  I don’t know any of this for certain because we’ve been ignored by the scientific community who don’t see us, so we’re left to find our way out of this by ourselves.

 

[[Gr...]]

@[Pa...] I can't make plans for anything. I do feel like an invalid. 

I hate what this has done to me. I've thought of going in a home. Leaving my husband so he doesn't have to deal with me. And dark thoughts.

I can only speak for myself. and I am in a bad place. Right now I am having burning and numbness throughout my body and of course, my face. This is pathetic. I will try to make it through the day. 

Do any type of symptoms ever just disappear just like that, just the way they appeared? 

Yes, my trauma. In that case, it makes me think this can be here to stay. A few more weeks of this will push me over the edge.