When will it end? Anyone tempted to reinstate?

[[Gr...]]

@[Re...]  Would those 2 doses have set me back those extra days after I thought I was done 12 days earlier? 

That's good you don't believe everyone gets protracted. I read in a few places that maybe 10-15% get it. I think if I had mild symptoms that were not painful, I'd be able to manage them. Hoping I don't have any. I just think because of getting this weird facial stuff is a sign and my age (66) is against me/

The grey hair thing was on here several times and they were mostly females. Geez, this thing is like a demon possessing our bodies.

Thank you

[[Re...]]

@[Gr...]

I hope your symptoms have easen a bit. I , like you, am experiencing a feeling of dryness and weird touch sensitivity on my face ( along with other stuff) itching, but it's the w/d. Nothing can be seen. Weird. 

I had to take rescue doses (higher doses) during my "taper" 2-3x, I did not experience much. Of course I don't know if it did make a difference later. But even if it did, we have to concentrate on the now and on getting better.

As far as I know protracted withdrawal means 18 months out with symptoms. Though, sadly, many people have that, way more people have taken these meds and have only minor issues coming off. I am sure there are many people "in between", too. 

It is wonderful you are experiencing windows, it is definitely a sign of healing!

Edited September 27, 2023 by [Re...]
Typo

[[gs...]]

5.5 weeks is not a long time at all. It's just the beginning if anything. Have patience. Things tend to get better for most of us with time.

[[Gr...]]

@[Re...] @[gs...]

I thank you both for being positive. I never, ever could see myself in a predicament like this because I once told someone these and antipldepressants were bad and shrink the brain. I did not know about the addiction. I always associated any addiction with abuse. 

I don't know how I did this. I didn't even like the Klonopin because I felt like a zombie, but I kept taking it. Addicted.

Me, a person who doesn't drink and always proud I did not have an addictive personality, but I became addicted. I didn't like the Xanax when they switched me (after I said I didn't like the way Klonopin made me feel). I always hated the taste of the Xanax tabs and kept telling myself I wanted to stop it. Many times I skipped taking it because I had no desire for the aftertaste. This may explain why I only took 8 tabs during the time I missed 3 weeks of doses. 

I know we can't go back and we must move forward. 

I may have mentioned earlier that I called the doc's office about what I am going through and that he prescribed off-label, longer than recs and at a higher dose. I said he did not cut me off according to the recs and refused to help me taper. The woman on the phone had the nerve to tell me it is the patient's responsibility to know if a med is addictive, not the doc's place to inform us. Can you believe it?

I know I keep saying this, but I'm scared. Plus, I'm mad at myself.

[[Re...]]

@[Gr...]You certainly don't have to be mad at yourself. You didn't know and your primary care was, as you say, not supportive. I am posting a link. I think it would be a very good idea for you to read it. 

Addiction vs dependence: https://www.benzoinfo.com/addiction-vs-physical-dependence/

As for addiction, I am honestly not judging. How could I...These are very powerful and sneaky meds!! 

[[Gr...]]

@[Re...] I just called prescribing doc's office. They insist drug is out of system now and none of what I am experiencing is withdrawal. i was told to stop going on the Internet though I didn'tcsay I did. Said I was not taking it long-term (really? 2 yrs Klonopin, 11 mos. Xanax & Ambien?).  Said I need to see primary doc, go to ER, go to urgent care, all of which I have done. Really, what are the chances I suddenly got this weird stuff from 1 or more causes? What can be causing these symptoms if I've had good lab work, primary can't figure it out, neurologist said it is "anxiety"?  Sure, anxiety because my body is in a state of anxiety, but he insisted it was not withdrawal. 

Am I being somatic and exaggerating this although the burning and pain cripples me?

I am having a difficult time. I have temptations to just go back on that stuff a couple of times a week, but then I don't know if it will do any good -- or harm. 

Edited September 28, 2023 by [Gr...]
typo

[[Pa...]]

It sounds like your medical teams need to educate themselves.  

It’s also important you educate yourself a little more about kindling, I see someone posted a link earlier but taking the drug intermittently can cause just as many problems as taking it full time. 

https://www.benzoinfo.com/kindling/

 

[[Gr...]]

@[Pa...] I am really scared. I am scared I can't get through this. I am concerned nonec of this will ease asap. I can't go on with this. I am struggling. I want to give up. Dark thoughts shroud me.

My skin burns while it goes numb and there is no answer or treatment. My scalp burns and throbs. Half of my face is swollen with no answer or treatment. Plus, all the other things (toes, fingers, head, neck that seem neurological, but I can deal with those as they don't hurt).

I am afraid the painful symptoms are here to stay. I am trying to give it more time, but I think I am not mentally able to cope any longer if it continues a few more days. 

Isn't it possible withdrawal can end in reasonable amount of time? I think positive this is acute, but a part of me thinks it's going to last way beyond I can handle.

Edited September 28, 2023 by [Gr...]

[[Gr...]]

What's going on with me? My right side of my face has dropped with a swelled cheek and down to jaw and upper neck. Is this withdrawal? It wasn't swelled to my jaw until today. What is happening?

This has to be stress and anxiety with me and going through my body and senses?  Could I be tense?  Maybe I'm unconsciously in a state of panic because my circuits are misfiring?

If I go back on Xanax, does any of this go away?

Edited September 28, 2023 by [Gr...]
addition

[[Pa...]]

If you’re concerned about your symptoms then perhaps going to see a doctor would be a good idea, if only to reassure you.  We can’t chalk everything up to withdrawal so it’s good to get things checked out.

I remember feeling like you do, knowing I couldn’t get through another second of this misery but somehow, we do and we find ourselves recovered.  I believe if you hang on and try to get though each minute you’ll get there.

As for going back on Xanax, some members have said it doesn’t work like it did before, others do okay but end up coming back here when they reach tolerance.  For the most part, I don’t think its possible to go home to the drug again, at least not like it was.

[[Gr...]]

@[Pa...] I rarely get sick. I was sick with covid last year, but hadn't been sick for years. I was brushed off with covid at the ER because test was false negative. Tested postive later that week. I had been sick 6 wks. I was told it was anxiety. This ia what they do. Why I fell for the benzo sales pitch.

I dread seeing a doctor. I hope I get through this. I don't know. I am in a bad place.

[[Gr...]]

What did I do to myself? I want to go back in time for anothetmr chance. Please, God

Edited September 28, 2023 by [Gr...]

[[Re...]]

@[Gr...]Right there with you, even a trusted person (CBT) thinks I am having some sort of anxiety, and I should pull myself together go to work or volunteer... I am trying so hard and started to reach limits. Earlier I had the same experience with a doctor. She thought I was lazy or something. She had no idea whatsoever.... I am feeling so stuck. 

I keep telling myself that I am feeling improvement. I really do. Slowly someone is turning the 'volume down'. In my case it is slow. You will get better too!!! 

I definitely read a lot about muscle tension here. It seems these are powerful relaxants. 

 

 

 

[[Gr...]]

@[Re...] I don't remember how long you've veen in WD? I have a fear I have passed acute. I have no signs of easing

[[pi...]]

@[Gr...],

I found it was vital to let go of any and all guilt I had for taking benzos. My doctor, who was very supportive, said it wasn’t my fault, I simply trusted my health care providers to have my best interest at heart.

I also  saw the doctor and had many tests during withdrawal. At least they set my mind to rest. I didn’t have a serious illness, and I could now say what I feel is withdrawal and it will get better.

 

[[Re...]]

@[Gr...]This process is highly individual. I had the roughest part for 2 months. Then easing gradually for 1,5 months (3,5 months). My mental symptoms improving (maybe, but still horror) in a more linear manner, but the physical stuff is changing back and forth than 2 steps back. 

I also did not realize I was improving until recently. 

 

[[Gr...]]

@[pi...] I am so down about how I got in this. I feel like I damaged myself in many ways. I think about how I would be if I hadn't taken that poison. Right now I'd be pain free and active. Instead, I'm having nerve pain all over and the facial issues. I am frozen and stuck as @[Re...] feels.

I want to be me again. I will never know in the future if anything is strange if I really have a health issue. What the H didcI do? Help me

 

[[Gr...]]

@[Re...] Are you past 3.5 months? I am having difficult time completely

[[Re...]]

@[Gr...]3 months 17 days to be precise. I get it a 100% what you are going through. I really do think things will take a good turn. The whole thing you are experiencing is part of the withdrawal. Acceptance is key in the process. 

Hope is a powerful thing to have, and we all do heal. It may take longer as we expected, but we do.

[[Gr...]]

I can't fight this. I am getting weak. I have so much fear it is overwhelming me. Why does this stuff cause so much torment? It's a stupid pill. The gaba thing and all the rest. It can't do this harm to us. What damage eas the med doing to us while on it? Tearing up our insides? Sneaky as people here have said. Thia is a bad day psychologically for me

[[pi...]]

@[Gr...],

You can fight it, but in my opinion it’s detrimental to do this, or you can accept and believe in your healing. Trust your body to find balance, it will.

A wake up call for me was when my best friend was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer while I was in recovery. Her condition was terminal, mine was not.

[[Gr...]]

@[Re...] 3.5 months is a little more than me. I'm right behind you. I have hope now since it's not years. You have a little healing? Any physical healing -- even a tiny bit? Do you have similar symptoms? Windows? Long windows? 

I just want 1 or 2 things to stop -- now. Not asking much.

[[Gr...]]

@[pi...] That's very true I need to put this in oerspective. I am sorry about your friend. Terrible.

Had I put things in perspective in the past, I would have never taken the med.

[[Gr...]]

Is numbing face, fingers, toes common? Is it the stress the body is experiencing? Not permanent? I dread seeing the doc again. He was sure it was B12 deficiency. Unfotunately, it was not. Now he may wind up giving me med for nerve pain, neuropathy, or something else. I am afraid to take any kind of med now.   

[[Re...]]

@[Gr...]The mental part is improving a 100%, the physical is changing. My racing heart improved significantly, nausea is manageable, no diarrhea, no stomach pain. The tinnitus is new and not good, so is the "face stuff", but it is changing, and that is a good thing.

These are powerful meds. Very powerful, more than we think. But, we can always do stuff against them. Muscle relaxation, deep breathing, a bath or a colder shower does work for some people. Listening to a podcast to distract, or a board game. I love Sudoku it's good stuff. I do drink herbal tea (ginger, peppermint) a lot and to my surprise it helps