When will it end? Anyone tempted to reinstate?

[[An...]]

Are you saying this was not on your Feb. CT when you were still on the Xanax and Ambien?

[[Gr...]]

@[An...]  I was taking both in Feb. CT said I had deviated septum, no details. I didn't have sinus pain. I got CT bc I was having upper tooth pain which luckily I don't have now. Fingers crossed.

Reading Feb scan. "small" osteoma in R ethmoid sinus. No size. Does say osseous thinning in sphenoid sinus wall. Whatever that means. I hope I don't need surgery. Do these meds cause things or suppress them and they come out when you stop?

There is something going on. Pain is ridiculous. This ENT needs to fix this problem.

On the benzo side, my eyes are inflamed and burning underneath. Something new. I can't take all this pain. I hope I can make this work. I am not excited.

 

[[An...]]

IC Grace...I hate to see you suffer like this. When do you go back to see the ENT again? Have you decided what you are going to do or try next?

[[Gr...]]

@[An...] I won't be surprised if any on tha CT is what's causing this pain & swelling especially if it's pressing on something. I hope it can be medicinally treated. Bad timing with this. Why couldn't it happen months ago before the rest of me was being attacked by the benzo ghosts.

[[An...]]

Just now, [[G...] said:

@[An...] I won't be surprised if any on tha CT is what's causing this pain & swelling especially if it's pressing on something. I hope it can be medicinally treated. Bad timing with this. Why couldn't it happen months ago before the rest of me was being attacked by the benzo ghosts.

Yeah, I completely understand. Benzo w/d alone is a monster to deal with. Having to deal with other medical things really pushes you to the brink. @[Ch...] here is in a similar situation.

[[Gr...]]

1 minute ago, [[A...] said:

IC Grace...I hate to see you suffer like this. When do you go back to see the ENT again? Have you decided what you are going to do or try next?

@[An...] I have 2nd opinion on Thurs. Will beg them to fix this problem asap. The bone is very sore + swollen, can't wear glasses. I don't think the stuff on there is deadly, but I do think they are causing this. Bad timimg. Doesn't know I have a WD going on? Sheesh!  Definitely something in the. bone & bridge swell at night. Worse at night and I hear inflammation is worse at night.

What else is will fall apart? Maybe my ear. It turns red & burns at night like  a prosthetic and going to fall off, just the one. odd

Another reason I need to get stabie -- if works, I waa ready to join free gym through my health plan to get toned for skiing--hmm. that's before the Benzo wd police robbed my muscle mass. I wan't to use equipment without benzo spazzing out. I also don't want to be on slopes. with jelly legs, burning skin and hot & cold sweats & shivers. Have to be able to get on lift wihout jelly legs slipping off skiis. 

Do you ski?  Snowboard? Snomobike?

[[An...]]

No, I don't do any of those things Grace but they all sure sound like a lotta fun. I do workout a lot at home and at a local 24/7 gym. I have always wanted to learn how to ski though...looks like so much fun.

[[Gr...]]

@[An...] This is how I would treat reinstatement. I'd be sweet to X. Set boundaries. Then when time comes to taper, I'd be nice till the end and then tell that devil of a benzo how I really feelm

@[An...] I only learned to ski when I was 52 I got sick of being cooped up in winter. Not in Sierra Nevadas. Just local mountains. These trails are kid's stuff compared to out west. Easy to learn. I learned on short skis (blades), less crossing toes, easy to go straight. I'm no expert, I did do some smaller expert trails. Good to get out with fresh air and reason to be glad and not mad when it snows. 

I still will go to gym. It's 24/7 Anytime Fitness. get rid of my jelly legs first.

 

Edited October 25, 2023 by [Gr...]

[[Da...]]

12 hours ago, [[A...] said:

After you got better, why did to want to get off again @[Da...]? Depending on the person's age and how long they have been on the drug, w/d may not be appropriate. In my case, I started becoming sick while still taking the drug. In these cases, your two options are try to w/d and see how you do or just stay on and stay semi-sick in tolerance w/d. Most ppl who are in tolerance w/d are miserable still taking the drug. Had I never become tolerant to the .5 mgs of K that I had taken over 11 years, I would probably still be on it to this day. Why put yourself through this hell if you are feeling ok taking the drug and are not having to constantly increase the dose to get the same effect or fight off interdose w/d?

Well that was years ago and since then I have developed what I'm told is neuropathy plus tinnitus and I'm guessing that's tolerance although the doctors won't admit it. Idk if I'm doing the right thing getting off because if I have to suffer for years then I'd rather deal with the neuropathy. Of course things may get worse. It's not knowing isn't it 

[[Da...]]

8 hours ago, [[A...] said:

No, I don't do any of those things Grace but they all sure sound like a lotta fun. I do workout a lot at home and at a local 24/7 gym. I have always wanted to learn how to ski though...looks like so much fun.

Sorry I've been trying to follow this thread. So you reinstated also or considering doing so? 

[[Av...]]

Hi all , those that have recovered, kindly advise what medication helped with the bad symptoms when getting off the benzo. Please help.  Does Epilizine help in any way.

[[Gr...]]

13 hours ago, [[A...] said:

@[Gr...], did you reinstate the Xanax?

@[An...] Well, here goes nothing. I've taken 0.5 since last night in divided doses. I don't plan on more than .5 in a day if this can do anything. 0.25mg before sleep later. I am wiped out. Headache. I don't know how I took this in first place.  This truly is poison. No wonder I had been skipping & cutting doses and had enough of the fatigue. Of course no miracle pain relief now. I sure hope it helps and then I can make a new plan to end it the right way. I need this to help until I crawl out of the hole. Of course my sinus is unchanged. Extremely painful last night. Just can't believe any of this. all a bad dream

[[Gr...]]

Reinstatement or none, this is horrendous. I hope I didn't make this worse and I don't know how much worse it can be how I feel right now. I just want to squeeze by as long as I can without a burning chest waking me, burning, headaches, facial & sinus swelling, and more. I want to be able to take a walk on steady feet & legs. I don't recommend this. I only took bits and pieces of posts from others and made a crazy choice as a gamble. I am desperate for today and will work on tomorrow. I am lost, desperate, in pain. I don't know how this can be real.

[[Gr...]]

None of this can be real for anyone. Are we in another dimension?

What I mean by this is just a figure of speech.

Edited October 25, 2023 by [Gr...]
clarification

[[pi...]]

1 minute ago, [[G...] said:

None of this can be real for anyone. Are we in another dimension?

I don’t know what you mean by this comment. Withdrawal is real and recovery can take time. The reality is that the cns needs time to reset, to find balance. There is no quick fix or magic bullet. The one thing we must remember is that there are a lot of conditions and diseases that have far worse outcomes than benzo withdrawal. 

@[Gr...], I had a deviated septum years ago and had a lot of chronic sinus infections. I didn’t have pain, or swelling, but I could not breathe very well on that side. I did have endoscopic sinus surgery to correct it.

[[Bl...]]

17 minutes ago, [[G...] said:

Reinstatement or none, this is horrendous. I hope I didn't make this worse and I don't know how much worse it can be how I feel right now. I just want to squeeze by as long as I can without a burning chest waking me, burning, headaches, facial & sinus swelling, and more. I want to be able to take a walk on steady feet & legs. I don't recommend this. I only took bits and pieces of posts from others and made a crazy choice as a gamble. I am desperate for today and will work on tomorrow. I am lost, desperate, in pain. I don't know how this can be real.

Since this is your decision to reinstate, I personally would be sure to monitor closely how your symptoms are going...whether some improvement or no improvement or intensified. That way you can at least feel that reinstating looks to be working or not.

But, let's say, even if it's not working and, symptoms are getting worse, you may need to proceed and begin your sensible,  slow, well-thought-out taper plan. And stick to your plan.

I've seen people jump on, jump off and then repeat and, then this process goes on for months...years and, seriously, it's like why didn't they stick to the plan to get off in the first place? I understand the level of suffering. But to still be on the drug(s) years later from their original plan is sad, indeed. 

[[Gr...]]

13 minutes ago, [[p...] said:

I don’t know what you mean by this comment. Withdrawal is real and recovery can take time. The reality is that the cns needs time to reset, to find balance. There is no quick fix or magic bullet. The one thing we must remember is that there are a lot of conditions and diseases that have far worse outcomes than benzo withdrawal. 

@[Gr...], I had a deviated septum years ago and had a lot of chronic sinus infections. I didn’t have pain, or swelling, but I could not breathe very well on that side. I did have endoscopic sinus surgery to correct it.

@[pi...] It is not the outcome. It was just a figure of speech. Things happening to all here are very strange with no scientific answers or intervention. No pain meds to help. How it seems to me. Twilight Zone.

I've always had deviated septum without incident, but I how do I suddenly have shrieking pain up the center, and suddenly swell just like that, no reason? Without injury?  At night I am in agony. I didn't have this before. Sorry, but, not to take it out onvyou or anyone, but this pill and WD and everything about it has been way too much for me to handle, understand, accept. I am truly scared everyday. We all agree they are poison.

[[Gr...]]

14 minutes ago, [[B...] said:

Since this is your decision to reinstate, I personally would be sure to monitor closely how your symptoms are going...whether some improvement or no improvement or intensified. That way you can at least feel that reinstating looks to be working or not.

But, let's say, even if it's not working and, symptoms are getting worse, you may need to proceed and begin your sensible,  slow, well-thought-out taper plan. And stick to your plan.

I've seen people jump on, jump off and then repeat and, then this process goes on for months...years and, seriously, it's like why didn't they stick to the plan to get off in the first place? I understand the level of suffering. But to still be on the drug(s) years later from their original plan is sad, indeed. 

@[Bl...] I want so dearly to stay off in first place. I had high hopes. I see so many posts here of people in months and years still suffering, including those who stopped once. It frightens me especially since I have 0 windows.  I am doing so horribly and my quality of life is shot. I need to get through my days to be able to at least walk around in my house and not be burning on fire. If I have to stay on this med for as long as I can to see if anything helps, it's my only stupid choice. I made a big mistake using it in first place. Next was not to know to how to end it properly. Then maybe I should have gone back on it asap and planned better. I didn't know. Over 2 months of agonizing torment and who knows how much more to come is all I can take. I am sticking with lowest dose. I'd may be in same boat taking Valium or AD and it's a gamble if those would work. I am not happy I am trying this. I am hoping I can get some relief, all I want until the next step. I won't go on and off etc. I know that's bad. I pray this will help me until I can do some kind of smart balanced taper at some point. Trust me, I don't like how I feel on this, but I can't take the excruciating pain anymore.

[[Gr...]]

@[pi...] I have chronis sinusitis and I get allergy shots. I've missed my shots for at least a month because I-ve been so sick with this WD. Something is wrong. The cream for cellulitis has not helped the outside. Dr said I am inflamed. I hope they can fix this bc the pain is bad. I did not have this 6 weeks ago. In your experience on here, does WD cause a strange thing lije this? I can't see how...

[[Ho...]]

Hi Grace,

Just popping in to say that for me, at six months I felt measurably better. Not perfect, but not in the throes of agony. Now I'm about thirteen months off and a whole lot better. The extreme discomfort was during the first 2-4 months. I couldn't believe anyone could go through that and live. I've been through plenty in my lifetime but this didn't hold a candle to it. Yet somehow, I got through it, one precious second at a time. 

Right now I'm tapering off meds I took to help me through the worst of those days. They barely helped but at that moment I was desperate enough to try. Looking back, all the meds I tried for relief probably lengthened the process, but them's the breaks! I'm here now and that's what counts.

I've taken 100 mg of gabapentin and a tiny dose of clonidine, don't remember the dosage perfectly but it may have been .01 mg or .1? I allowed myself once a week and ended by only taking each of those once, but they afforded me a bit of calm in the midst of storms. 

I hope you can push through without reinstating, but this thing is so wicked it may seem like our only recourse. It's not, but it seems like it. 

There is a light at the end of your tunnel! It's coming as surely as day follows night. Keep holding on!

HCHC

[[Ho...]]

Hi again @[Gr...], 

I've read the weirdest things here, so your predicament is not surprising. For myself I contracted odd infections here and there, in my nose, my eye, my skin. I was running to the doctor over and over and I hate going to the doctor's, now more than ever. It's not unusual and I have no idea what is going on. The only thing you can do is keep on top of it and get the medical attention it may warrant, just in case. Well that's what I did!

Take care,

HC

[[Gr...]]

I don't know anymore what to do. I dread reinstating, yes. If the symptoms are caused by the CNS trying to get back, what else besides time is there? We are all different and there is no specific timeline when it heals, what do we do? Some are fortunate, it heals faster. Some aren't. It's impossible to know. For me, I am older, and I don't know if I'm the one it will end soon. No windows. I am sorry if I seem like a letdown. I'm scared to keep feeling like this much longer if I have a chance for any drop of calming. I don't want it to fail. I could use some good wishes. thanks

[[Gr...]]

17 minutes ago, [[H...] said:

Hi Grace,

Just popping in to say that for me, at six months I felt measurably better. Not perfect, but not in the throes of agony. Now I'm about thirteen months off and a whole lot better. The extreme discomfort was during the first 2-4 months. I couldn't believe anyone could go through that and live. I've been through plenty in my lifetime but this didn't hold a candle to it. Yet somehow, I got through it, one precious second at a time. 

Right now I'm tapering off meds I took to help me through the worst of those days. They barely helped but at that moment I was desperate enough to try. Looking back, all the meds I tried for relief probably lengthened the process, but them's the breaks! I'm here now and that's what counts.

I've taken 100 mg of gabapentin and a tiny dose of clonidine, don't remember the dosage perfectly but it may have been .01 mg or .1? I allowed myself once a week and ended by only taking each of those once, but they afforded me a bit of calm in the midst of storms. 

I hope you can push through without reinstating, but this thing is so wicked it may seem like our only recourse. It's not, but it seems like it. 

There is a light at the end of your tunnel! It's coming as surely as day follows night. Keep holding on!

HCHC

@[Ho...] Did you taper the entire time and are you still tapering? That helps a lot.  I didn't really taper. I missed going through that and maybe why I am in this mess. I feel like I have to start over to get this CNS possibly calmed (fingers crossed) and to do it right when the time comes. I'm sure it does help tapering. I can't go on like this practically a cold turkey, with no windows. I am riding it, but I have no control when out of nowhere my eyes blow up burning, I can't walk, I wake up for hours with a crushing burning chest. I don't want to do this. I hate meds, but I hate even more feeling like this. I just need a glimmer of hope I can get by with this and move forward to the next step. It really stinks. 

[[Gr...]]

@[Bl...] I am so afraid. I am in constant pain all day long. It doesn't stop. I shake. I am older. my body is not handling this well. it' s affecting my marrisge. I am like a mannequin. I pray thse doses get me on board. I'm limited. I wish I knew all of this stuff on this site. I had no idea till it was late when I got here. i can't think about it anymore. I already want to kick myself.

Edited October 25, 2023 by [Gr...]

[[Gr...]]

 

@[Ho...] I don't know what do anymore. I took one day's dose. I don't know what  to do. I have Valium. Is that better than the X? Neither? You said you had 3-4 mos real bad but you are still tapering. I know I asked this earlier. I am not tapering. I am with nothing. I wonder if I try it for 2 weeks if that would push me into some other place in my withdrawal. I literally cannot go on like this WTH do I do?  Try a week? Would that push me back at all? I don't know. Time is of the essence with this stuff in making decisions, isn't it?