When will it end? Anyone tempted to reinstate?

[[Gr...]]

@[Wi...] Yes, everything about this. WD has me in a panic. It's unfamiliar territory. I never tapered before.  If I had any of these things and was not in WD, I would just get it checked and most likely it would get fixed. It would be just a regular day. This is completely different. It's all a mystery. I am very afraid.  It's the worst experience ever for me. I've gotten reassurance from here that many of my symptoms are common and will take time. I am dealing with them. Those are what I can keep secret, no one will see. I hope you can see how I feel about this setback where something  went haywire and it is something all can see, not just me. You mentioned being beaten. That's something a doctor can estimate recovery time. With this, I can't find any answer. It's a mystery, but what all can see, and this is not what I look like. I don't why it's there. I can keep pain to myself. This I can't. Being a female maybe it's why it affects me. Forget about my other symptoms which have been brought to my attention that others have experienced and will pass. This is a new odd symptom no one can really say will pass. No, I'm not trying to be right. Yes, I am panicking. This mystery WD symptom, if it is, has thrown me for a loop. I am truly concerned about nerve damage causing this.

I wish to God I wake up and this oddity thing is gone.

I hope this makes sense.   

 

[Guest [...]]

We do understand, @[Gr...]

Through all of this, whether you know it or not, on a deeper level, you are actually trying to find a way to let go… reach a place of Acceptance. 

We’re just trying to comfort you whilst you find your way there… 

[[pi...]]

@[Gr...], this member has an amazing attitude, one that will not necessarily heal her faster, but put her in a good mind frame to accept th process and be patient. You might read this post:

 

[[de...]]

@[Gr...] What @[Lo...] wrote is what we all aspire to as we go through this process.  Is anyone doing it perfectly?  Absolutely not, but it helps to have something to work towards.   Continually focusing on symptoms that cannot be fixed by anything other than time, just keeps us stuck.  I know it is so hard to accept your current situation, but as @[Wi...] so eloquently said, this process you are going through is your way of trying to get to acceptance.   Our bodies know how to heal, we need to cooperate with our bodies in that process by believing we will heal and acting/thinking accordingly.   Not easy, but definitely doable.  

[[Gr...]]

not doing well. everyday I wish reinstating was the answer 

no idea what's going on. thank you all. sorry

Edited October 16, 2023 by [Gr...]
typo

[[Gr...]]

deleted

Edited October 16, 2023 by [Gr...]
deleted

[[de...]]

@[Gr...]  Sorry you are not feeling well today.    I know you think reinstating would be helpful, but that is not always the case.    It sometimes can make the situation worse.        It is really important to take this process one day at a time, and to keep reminding yourself that you will get better.

[[Gr...]]

@[de...] What is going on? Seems my gums are receding? How vould this happen?  I can't afford this. I have periodontal disease and I was doing good eith it.  OMG @[de...] I am falling apart. What has this done to me? This is like an evil entity. How could I ever comfort others when I'm having all of this? I am having trouble hanging on.

This is crazy. How does it do these things? I thought it was just neurological stuff. I'm losing it. Please help me. I am still swollen with pain and pressure. It gets horrible at night. My appearance has changed, not for the better. I'm flushing and swollen on my cheeks at night, they burn.

I need to figure out how to get these things back the way they were before. Going back on any benzo can't do anything?  None will calm this or slow down more changes? This is terrible. I am lost. Distraction is VERY hard.  

[[Gr...]]

 @[de...] This is a plea. I am really scared of what's happening to me and if any will go back to normal.

How can my gums recede and go back to normal? Am I overreacting? I'll let hygienst tell me, but I never noticed this before.

Alright, this is causing me intense anxiety. Valium, it is something that can be taken just once a day? The Xanax is obviously several times a day. I don't want that. Too much. I just want something low and 1x day. I think I need to keep my body's internal anxiety level down no matter how much I tell myself to be calm. I don't even know who will give this to me. I dread taking anything again, but my system is out of whack. I have to get it back. I've asked this many times, but doesn't the med start working on gaba again?

I am petrified.I can't handle this. I am weak. How does this do all this damage? I need to take something, probably forever

God help me. Please help. I am afraid. so scared. help help help

Edited October 16, 2023 by [Gr...]
addition

[[Gr...]]

On 13/10/2023 at 13:39, [[A...] said:

What exactly did the ENT doc tell you Grace?

@[An...] ENT said I have nasal cellulitis. Painful. If,so, good thing I was checked bc it can spread. Makes sense because I am swollen more on one side and it seems to be the tip and around it. Bridge pain seems to be a symptom too. Said numb tip from inflammation. I hope he's right bc this will resolve and be behind me. I sure do hope he's right. I am sore or numb, something with tremendous pressure behind or deep inside my nose, which I worry is nerve damage. Hard to tell. Not sure if it's referred pain from the front. Fingers crossed he's right. I haven't had improvement yet. Said it will take time. 

[[An...]]

Grace, after my essentially  CT detox from Klonopin in 2006, I reinstated with valium (after a month of no Klonopin), unsure if it would help or hurt. It did work for me and I was able to quickly get down to 5 mgs only once per day and my CNS did settle down with no interdose w/d. The mistake I made was that I chose to just stay on the valium.

Some of the things you say like receding gums do concern me. This sounds unrelated to benzo w/d to me. I do not know if reinstating would help you or not. That is a personal decision you will have to make. I really hate to see you suffer like this tho. I think things will eventually start to let up if you can wait it out but it is anyone's guess when and I don't know how much longer you can tolerate what you are going through. You seem like you are almost at the end of your rope.

[[Gr...]]

5 minutes ago, [[A...] said:

Grace, after my essentially  CT detox from Klonopin in 2006, I reinstated with valium (after a month of no Klonopin), unsure if it would help or hurt. It did work for me and I was able to quickly get down to 5 mgs only once per day and my CNS did settle down with no interdose w/d. The mistake I made was that I chose to just stay on the valium.

Some of the things you say like receding gums do concern me. This sounds unrelated to benzo w/d to me. I do not know if reinstating would help you or not. That is a personal decision you will have to make. I really hate to see you suffer like this tho. I think things will eventually start to let up if you can wait it out but it is anyone's guess when and I don't know how much longer you can tolerate what you are going through. You seem like you are almost at the end of your rope.

@[An...] So, you have stayed on the valium? On that low 5mg dose for all this time with no tolerance? Is that 1x day?

I may need that to settle my system, and so nothing else gets wacky. 

I would love to wait it out, but, wow, people don't get a break for months, years. Weird things pop up. I don't know olif my gaba is sleeping and not ready to get balanced. 

I saw 2 old posts about receding gums. Maybe it's coincidence with me, maybe I just never noticed it before. I hope that's it. Yes, this is leading me to the end of my rope. I am very concerned about this bizarre nasal/nose situation of whether there's nerve damage. I don't understand why I am very swollen, nothing I ever had before.

Is the Valium 5mg scored to get 2.5mg? How does 5mg V equate to X, would it make no difference since I'm 2 months out? What if I take 5mg V for a couple of months, lowered it to 2.5 another few months, then be done with it?

[[Gr...]]

@[An...] Why didn't they give me Valium in first place, you know?

From drugs.com:

"Some experts advise Xanax to be used with caution as it has been associated with more severe withdrawal symptoms compared with other benzodiazepines."

Valium vs Xanax

https://www.drugs.com/medical-answers/valium-xanax-difference-3116677/

[[An...]]

1 minute ago, [[G...] said:

@[An...] So, you have stayed on the valium? On that low 5mg dose for all this time with no tolerance? Is that 1x day?

I may need that to settle my system, and so nothing else gets wacky. 

I would love to wait it out, but, wow, people don't get a break for months, years. Weird things pop up. I don't know olif my gaba is sleeping and not ready to get balanced. 

I saw 2 old posts about receding gums. Maybe it's coincidence with me, maybe I just never noticed it before. I hope that's it. Yes, this is leading me to the end of my rope. I am very concerned about this bizarre nasal/nose situation of whether there's nerve damage. I don't understand why I am very swollen, nothing I ever had before.

Is the Valium 5mg scored to get 2.5mg? How does 5mg V equate to X, would it make no difference since I'm 2 months out? What if I take 5mg V for a couple of months, lowered it to 2.5 another few months, then be done with it?

Not exactly......I did for about 2 years. I was fine on just the 5 mgs per day....even went back to work FT. Then, I had some major stress at work and things started to unravel from there. Yes, the 5 mg tablets are scored. I am doing 10% cuts every 3 weeks Grace. Lexapro is also helping to soften the blow from the valium w/d. I am now at 2.5 mgs. I will make another cut in 2 weeks. If you did reinstate and could get stable, I would slowly withdraw. You rapidly withdrew from the Xanax and Ambien and look at what you are going through now. I always try to learn from my previous mistakes.

[[An...]]

11 minutes ago, [[G...] said:

@[An...] Why didn't they give me Valium in first place, you know?

From drugs.com:

"Some experts advise Xanax to be used with caution as it has been associated with more severe withdrawal symptoms compared with other benzodiazepines."

Valium vs Xanax

https://www.drugs.com/medical-answers/valium-xanax-difference-3116677/

I hear ya Grace. I personally think Xanax and Klonopin are the two hardest benzos to detox from....at least in my case. Xanax was the 1st benzo I was put on followed by Klonopin. I have taken Ativan PRN but never long-term.

[[Gr...]]

5 minutes ago, [[A...] said:

Not exactly......I did for about 2 years. I was fine on just the 5 mgs per day....even went back to work FT. Then, I had some major stress at work and things started to unravel from there. Yes, the 5 mg tablets are scored. I am doing 10% cuts every 3 weeks Grace. Lexapro is also helping to soften the blow from the valium w/d. I am now at 2.5 mgs. I will make another cut in 2 weeks. If you did reinstate and could get stable, I would slowly withdraw. You rapidly withdrew from the Xanax and Ambien and look at what you are going through now. I always try to learn from my previous mistakes.

@[An...] I'm trying to remember from another time you told me, you have been slow tapering from V? At any time, were you ever able to take 5mg at most per day, even if it was split? 

I would not want a larger dose. I would like to start with 2.5 and see if that is good enough. I don'txwant anything, but I am desperate.

Please see my other post to you about the ENT. I am desperate to get this to end. It is strange and causes me to be self-conscious. I have no idea what origin is. I actually made an appt with plastic surgeon to fix it. I don't really want to do that at all, but what if it's a weird permanent thing? This experience has been hard on me.

My R ear gets inflamed at night. It all gets bad at night. I hope I can try sonething lije the V and it helps ease things.

 

[[An...]]

Yes, I was on just one 5 mg tablet per day Grace. I took it every morning right after I awoke from sleep. No one wants to reinstate who has reinstated. We all hate what these drugs have done to our CNSystems Grace.

Did the ENT doc Rx a topical cream or oral antibiotic for your nose?

[[Gr...]]

On 13/10/2023 at 14:48, [[p...] said:

@[Gr...], this member has an amazing attitude, one that will not necessarily heal her faster, but put her in a good mind frame to accept th process and be patient. You might read this post:

@[pi...] That was so nice. I truly believe I can get to that place if just one wish would come true. One thing going on, that if it could just go away, I will deal with the other things (as long as no new bad ones pop up). I've learned the facial burning sensation is common. Posts said it got better. I am dealing with all the rest. But, I do have a fear I have nerve or circulation damage, it is painful 24/7 and swollen. That's the one thing I want to go away. Just one wish for the genie.

[[Gr...]]

5 minutes ago, [[A...] said:

Yes, I was on just one 5 mg tablet per day Grace. I took it every morning right after I awoke from sleep. No one wants to reinstate who has reinstated. We all hate what these drugs have done to our CNSystems Grace.

Did the ENT doc Rx a topical cream or oral antibiotic for your nose?

@[An...] Yes, he gave me Cefdinir antibiotic, Rx steroid cream (betamethasone 0.05%), and methylprednisone dose pak, which I am taking/using with no particular side effects. He also gave me these 2 that I am not using: Flonase and antihistamine Xyzal. I don't want them to dry me out.  I started on Saturday. Only 3 days so far, but. I want it to be better yesterday. I hope they make it all go away. If they dont, then this is WD evil.

My nose is cold at night, never was like that before. 

I did a search here and there are a lot of posts about gum problems. Oh boy.

[[Gr...]]

@[An...] Nights are rough. Last night my husband asked why my cheeks were red. They were burning. They were not red in the day. My skin is compromised. I do feel weird most of the time like I can't be myself. Having difficult time this moment. Wishing I could go back in time. Not doing well. God help me

Edited October 17, 2023 by [Gr...]

[[Gr...]]

On 13/10/2023 at 14:22, [[W...] said:

We do understand, @[Gr...]

Through all of this, whether you know it or not, on a deeper level, you are actually trying to find a way to let go… reach a place of Acceptance. 

We’re just trying to comfort you whilst you find your way there… 

@[Wi...] I understand what you're saying. I know you are all helping. It's not that I'm ungrateful. I am very grateful. This WD has scared me. I have horrible 24/7 pain, real bad, severe headache, trouble breathing. You know the rest.

My 1 wish for the genie: Make it go away & go back to normal. I can get it together and be positive if this one worst symptom would stop. It's dragging me down. Thanks Winters sun. 

[[Gr...]]

@[An...] V comes in 2mg and is scored? Would 4mg day be reasonable? Then I can go to 2 mg. 

I must say that sharing this info with me is all it is. Whatever I decide to do, no matter what it is, now or in the future, will be my own choice.

 

Edited October 17, 2023 by [Gr...]
update

[Guest [...]]

37 minutes ago, [[G...] said:

@[An...] V comes in 2mg and is scored? Would 4mg day be reasonable? Then I can go to 2 mg. 

I must say that sharing this info with me is all it is. Whatever I decide to do, no matter what it is, now or in the future, will be my own choice.

If you reinstated to Valium 4mg, you would want to taper much slower, once you’d found a level of stability. You wouldn’t reduce from 4mg to 2mg. That’s a 50% reduction. You would want to reduce by no more than 10% every 10 - 14 days. 

[[Gr...]]

@[Wi...] I'm trying to figure that out. How. do you do reduce by 10% for a pill?

The 2mg are scored. Split to get singles?  4 to 3 to 2 to 1? 

Do they crush these up? Yuck. Must taste bad. 

Or, 4 to 3.5 (split them?)

3.5 to 3?

The rest, I don't know. 

 

 

Edited October 17, 2023 by [Gr...]
crush

[Guest [...]]

You will be better off purchasing a jewellers scale, @[Gr...], and we would show you how to calculate and adjust your doses.

Im not suggesting you reinstate, but, if you felt you had no choice, we would help you taper sensibly and safely. 

If you do choose to reinstate, I’ll provide you with a link to a cheap jewellers scale commonly used by members here on BB.