When will it end? Anyone tempted to reinstate?

[[Gr...]]

On 11/10/2023 at 12:33, [[m...] said:

Grace it won't be forever sending healing and 🤗🤗🙏🥰

@[me...]I am not believing that anymore after reading posts on here. People still having major problems 3, 6, 12, 2yrs and more.

I can't even associate what I have with this, I don't know how or if it can be reversed. I am in a bad place

[[Gr...]]

On 10/09/2023 at 13:23, [[d...] said:

I am 62, and I am so excited about having a wonderful, full live once I heal....   Can't wait!   You too will recover and have a wonderful life.

As far as supplements go, some members are able to tolerate them and some cannot.   You can try them, but just know that you may be sensitive to things that you were not before.  

Also, you mentioned drinking.   Alcohol acts like a benzo on our receptors.   Some people call alcohol "liquid benzos".     There are members who continue to drink during their withdrawal, but I would recommend not drinking anything until you have been healed for a little while.  

You are going to heal.  Just a matter of time. 

@[de...] I am looking at old posts of mibe to see if I've had some progress. I seem to have, but I have weird stuff now not listed anywhere as a symptom. Ugh! This may be worse than all the others.

So, your reply reminded me we are close in age. There seems to be a lot of older people here. They (docs) take advantage if us.  If I read right, your took Ativan and Ambien not for too long yet tou had trouble with WD?  OMG, am I doomed since i took K for 2 yrs, X for 11 mos and Amb for 3.5 yrs?  Being older doesn't that slow us down with WD?

This is causing numbness and some kind of nasal swelling with pain +headache. Not in symptoms list! I have no idea what's causing it and if it will ever go back to normal.

Did things with you change and go back to normal? Or anyone you know of on this forum?

I don't know what's going on. Horrible. Strange. Not typical. Sometimes it feels like something is putting pressure on my nasal paasages. I've been refused a CT scan.

So, I'm 4 weeks from Amb and 8 wks from X. Peak of acute? Still beginning of acute?  I am losing it with this.

[[be...]]

@[Gr...] I have no words to help you but hoping that this link will help, I am so glad that others are helping you as much as they can, but I still believe that you will heal and be OK. Here is a testament for hope and how bad one can feel, and still come back to let us know, that things do get better. Please read this as many times as you can, it is one of the most hopeful posts I have read in a long time.💖Peace and Healing.

 

[[Gr...]]

@[be...] Great inspiration, but on for a short while and took 8 months. Ugh. I was on longer. I hope I can write similar in the next few weeks and be done with this. Wishful thinking.

Tying to cope with facial burning and numbing in areas besides my face. This WD gave me a strange red, inflamed ear that only comes at night so doc didn't see anything during day. Evil benzos.

The constant 24/7 is shooting pain on bridge of nose, in nasal cavity, forehead, under eye and rest of face, bad headache, with numbness & tingling around there and other parts of my face. As you probably read, I am swollen and it hurts. If this would just stop and go back to normal. When will it end?

 

Edited October 13, 2023 by [Gr...]
correction

[[Gr...]]

Hard time. I won't make it waiting.  Body is burning. Eyes doing something New things?  Skin is crawling. Restless, numb and tingling all over. Facial skin is messed up. . I'm losing weight too fast. 

Seems a small number of people heal and after a long time. I've been reading lots of posts. Feeling anxious from what I read. Some have only taken these for a few months and they keep suffering. I know I should have not read the posts again, but I was trying to find fast recoveries. There were a couple, young people. 

I'll never know what anything would be like naturally had I not started that stuff.  Losing hope. I feel I'm doomed that this can go on and on and on. I see why people reinstate, but then they try WD again. I don't think I could do this again.

If I go back maybe things will reset? Maybe stabilize? I'm scared to do that, but I am scared of tomorrow. I'm scared of tonight.

I just realized, what if I go on something and these symptoms don't go away. I guess i could try it for a few days, but would that screw up this WD in case that doesn't work out? Ugh

 

 

Edited October 13, 2023 by [Gr...]
addition

[[Gr...]]

Things are weird now. Increased numbness all over. New stuff?  Is this common? Numb right side of face, like a stroke. Right eye numb. This time left ear is strange. What is going on?  Symptoms jump all over. They don't want to let up. WTH?  I don't get it. I'm depressed about this. These are d*mning meds. I have to make it through this WD, but does it have to be a constant reminder how I left myself down?   

Going back on may be worse. I read side effects are many of WD.  I'm confused. There should be a safe med to help us through this.  Literal poison, and governments do nothing to protect us. My doc, retail pharmacy, and insurance failed me. They didn't intervene before the 2nd fill. Of course I called them to make my voice heard and called them out on it.

 

[Guest [...]]

It’s is perfectly normal for symptoms to wax, wane, and move around (right side, left side) to other areas of the body. 

[[Gr...]]

I don't want to feel sorry for myself, but I am having hard time with  pain and discomfort, plus not sleeping.  I distracted myself the last few days and pushed myself. Pain increases at night. I know there's nothing anyone can do except offer words of ncouragement as have been offered. I'm just venting as ai think out loud. 

[Guest [...]]

We understand, @[Gr...]

[[Gr...]]

@[Wi...] I've been disfigured by this from something not even on a common symptom list except nerve damage which I fear is the cause and will NEVER have a window

[Guest [...]]

It will resolve in time, @[Gr...]

Try to see how you are not choosing your own beliefs right now. It’s the fear choosing what to believe. They are commonly referred to as “benzo lies” here. 

[[Li...]]

@[Gr...]:  I wonder if developing and practicing a non-engagement response to your symptoms might be helpful?  Here’s an audio clip by Jennifer Swantokowki (see note) on this topic:

 

Note: Jennifer is a psychotherapist who has personal experience with benzodiazepine withdrawal. 

[[Gr...]]

29 minutes ago, [[W...] said:

It will resolve in time, @[Gr...]

Try to see how you are not choosing your own beliefs right now. It’s the fear choosing what to believe. They are commonly referred to as “benzo lies” here. 

@[Wi...] Things that others have had make sense to believe will pass, but this thing that's happened to me is nothing anyone can say will pass unless it's happebed to them. I am really, really scared it's nerve damage. I am constantly numb & tingling in that area. No relief since day 1.

[Guest [...]]

I know others with numbness and tingling.

Not all sensations or symptoms are listed.  

[[Gr...]]

@[Li...] I have a physical disfigurement that no one else can tell me will resolve in time. It may be from permanent nerve damage. Difficult for me to comprehend

[[Gr...]]

14 minutes ago, [[W...] said:

I know others with numbness and tingling.

Not all sensations or symptoms are listed.  

@[Wi...] I don't see where they say disfigurement or where anyone has had this. This entire process is unbelievable. I was looking foward to being free from these meds. To finally have the energy they stole from me. I see from reading posts that they keep robbing us. The hold us prisoner with symptoms that carry on for what seems eternity.  I don't know anymore. As I write this, my eye is burning and numb. What is going on???. THIS IS NO WAY TO LIVE for anyone.

I've had enough of this WD.  I am sick of it. Look what it's done to me. I don't feel that can becfixed or resolve. OMG

Edited October 13, 2023 by [Gr...]

[[de...]]

@[Gr...]  Can you describe to us what you mean by disfigurement?   What exactly has changed physically on your face?    

[[Gr...]]

@[de...] I have suddenly become swollen in my nasal/nose area 24/7. I am completely numb there with pain/pressure inside that shoots in my forehead. It feels like constant novocaine and the syringe was left inside, causing pressure and pain. Plus it causes pain on the bridge of my nose. This is not funny. My nose has swelled and it has to be from the numbness and/or nerve damage from the WD. I do not look like this. I have a slim bridge of my nose with a small tip that fits my face. Not anymore. It's nothing like that anymore and it's not body dysmorphic ideation. I was numb for weeks in my entire face. Now that is central around my nose. My nose is numb and tingly as well as my upper lip. I have pressure and pain inside, that's what shoots up. I have a headache and I rarely get headaches. It's painful to wear my glasses bc the bridge is in pain. If it was only numb and looked normal, then I would ride it out. The swelling seems to have been caused by this WD because as I said, I never had this before. It has altered my appearance and drastically. I have a small face and this is very noticeable. I can't believe this.

[[Gr...]]

@[de...] I'll say it't bridge of my nose which is swollen with pain inside. Mainly on the right. I am hoping ENT can figure this out. I think that would not cover WD symptoms. 

On top of the rest of the burning, my eyes are burning, something else new. I don't know how anyone sits this out so patiently

Edited October 13, 2023 by [Gr...]
addition

[[de...]]

Throughout my recovery I have had lots of tingling in my face.  While it is uncomfortable, I don't think I have experienced swelling.   You mention body dysmorphic ideation.   I am not totally familiar with that.  Can you explain more about that?  I am wondering if the anxiety you are experiencing as a symptom of withdrawal is causing you to be extra sensitive to your appearance.    

[[Gr...]]

Set adide the swelling. It's constant pain shooting up my face.  haven't had a break or a window with this from the start. It is tingly & numb on the tip and my upper lip. My tongue is same.

[Guest [...]]

@[Gr...]

I understand you are in a very distressed state most of the time. We are trying to comfort you through this as best we can, but, obviously there’s only so much we can do and say. We are really just trying to help you keep an open mind to a high probability of these symptoms resolving. As distressing as it is to see yourself as you appear right now, imagine someone who has been beaten, battered, and completely swollen…. eventually the bruising and swelling resolves and their appearance returns to normal. Maybe you could consider your physical symptoms in a similar light. 

Again, I can see how upset you are, and the last thing anyone wishes to do is to upset you further, but, if you look closely back though this thread of over 400 posts, you may notice that it’s all been about trying to comfort and encourage you through the mental/emotional/physical suffering you are experiencing through what can be a very painful process, especially in the acute phase. I don’t know if you’ll notice this… but, can you see how through almost the entire thread, it’s been like you’ve been trying to convince everyone else that you are right, you will never heal from this? Can you see how you are doing this even though the last thing you want is to be right. Can you see how you are defeating yourself? 

I only point this out to hopefully bring awareness to the subtext of this thread, in the hope that it will help you let go of that fearful part of yourself that seems so hell bent on proving itself right, rather than opening up to a high likelihood of symptoms (as distressing as they clearly are) resolving completely over time. 

[[Gr...]]

@[de...] I just lost everything I was typing to you

[[Gr...]]

@[de...] @[Wi...]

It is swollen. My husband would never tell me unless it's true. The ENT also said so. It's not my impression. I want to know what happened and how I can fix this. It's real, with pain inside and a blaring headache.

@[Wi...] I can convince myself some things will heal, when, who knows? Those are what others have and attest to them. This strangeness is nothing I have found anyone else can say it got better.

This is overwhelming. I just wanted to stop the med and getvon with my life like everyone else. So many suffering for a long time. I've had enough already of 8+weeks constant pain. I am not trying to be right I want things to be right, yet I read aboutcso many who are years wirh symptoms and new ones popping up. That is never. I am really scared and yes, in pain & distress bc it's constant. Now I hsve this weird thing that is not only annoying with pain, but chsnged my appearance. IDK.

[[An...]]

What exactly did the ENT doc tell you Grace?