When will it end? Anyone tempted to reinstate?

[[...]]

Absolutely things got better after acute. I never really shared my acute. It would be too triggering.

That is why I lean towards pushing through and getting away from benzos for others.

The things that lingered on were, feeling off, weakness,mild panic attacks,head pressure, neck pain,and super out of shape.

Today my main thing now is just getting back in shape. 1 year off.

[[Gr...]]

@[...] I had a weird summer of allergens. Last year was first getting allergy shots and I did great. It wasn't hot, humid & rainy like 2023. Right around when I missed the X doses, I had a bad allergy attack. I was scratching all over. Chive flowers I picked in my yard had some kind of pollen. I got a rash. My eyes got bad too. We had that smoke several times. I trimmed shrubs twice in July and got pollen all over me. The AC ran non-stop over 2 months, it dried eyes and sinuses. I missed many allergy shots since ending X & I didn't take Zyrtec. I will use the Flonase 2x day. See what happens.

[[...]]

August 17th I woke to my first ever vertigo attack(room actually spinning).then constant regular dizziness.

After a month of running around to doctors I figured out that my left ear was infected or some thing. I found blood in the back of the left sinus and in the left eardrum. 

I thought about the wet weather this August. Even noticed the dizziness was worse when a weather front rolled through.

I had eye muscle pain too. Actually the eye muscle pain is still there a little.

And yes I had super dry sinus too. So that's why I didn't suspect the ear. I had neck pain at the skull and that area contributes to dizziness too. I ended up wasting alot of money.... but super happy it's behind me. 

One day soon you'll say you're glad it's behind you too.

[[Gr...]]

@[...] That is great you got that taken care of. It probably isn't related to your WD since was a while ago. I had that many, many years ago. It was deep in my ear and only found with MRI. I remember the spinning and feeling nauseous.

I may have an outer ear infection or this WD did some weird stuff to me. My ear is red and hurts. This may sound strange, but this inflaned ear seems smaller yet you would expect it to be bigger and swollen. This WD does too many weird things. Today I'll get it checked. It's strange what is going on because I didn't have any of this stuff before. I go to the primary today. I don't know if I should mention the WD. The neurologist looked at me as if I was crazy when I told him last month.

In the meantime, I can't understand why my entire nose is numb and just above upper lip. I believe this is what's causing it to swell because I didn't have any of that before. I told the neurologist yesterday over the phone. He passed the buck to my primary. I think this will go on deaf ears eith primary. It is painful because it feels like sharp pressure and pain shoots to forehead. It bothers me because it disfigures me. It throbs. t swells, and more on the right side as if it is lopsided. It gets cold and then feels warm when it swells. I don't think it will ever go away. I think something was mysteriously damaged during this WD. I cry a lot about this and everthing else it has done. I don't know how something llike this would just go away. It could be nerve damage. Why would it be numb? I could not fibd anyone on the forum who had this so I would get and idea if it goes away. I am very, very upset. It's put me in a dark place. I don't like going anywhere now. I am disfigured.  Imagine how this makes me feel. I am self-conscious now. I use ice on it, but it is not the way I look. It is changed. I feel like this is some kind of punishment that the med places on us. 

[[...]]

Give yourself an break....

Let us know what the primary thinks.

[[Gr...]]

@[...] Thank you.

It is throbbing now. I fear something is terribly wrong.

[[Gr...]]

Bad today. Numb all over. shaky. trembling. Teying to function. Too wobbly. Is this WD? Anxiety? How can I tell? Shouldn't WD be over soon? 

Decaf tea ok? Never bothered me before

Sorry. I'm lost about this. So many regrets

Edited October 10, 2023 by [Gr...]
typo

[[de...]]

Yes, this is most likely withdrawal.  Those symptoms are consistent with the discontinuation of benzos and Z-Drugs (Ambien).   

As to whether withdrawal should be over soon, no one can really answer that.   Yes, the drug has left your body but now you are left with your body trying to adjust to no longer having the drug.    The actual science behind this is not yet completely understood, but any time you take something away, your body must get used to that no longer being present.   In the case of benzos, it is called BIND (Benzodiazepine Induced Neurological Dysfunction).   There is anecdotal evidence that your neurological function is effected and has to be returned to its normal functioning.   This all takes time.      At 8 weeks, I am hopeful that you will begin to see your symptoms calm a bit in the next few weeks.  

 

[[me...]]

[[Gr...]]

@[de...] Thank you. I'm sorry, I am sounding like a broken record. I wish there was a definitive answer. I hope you can understand my frustration. Eight weeks of this has worn me out. I'm running low on acceptance.  Doctors are so blind to this. It would help everyone if they knew about this.

I guess I have to factor in ending Ambien on Sept 13, pushing this out 4 weeks now. I would have never thought Ambien would have withdrawal. Not either the Xanax just because why would they keep prescribing it if it did? It felt safe to take and stop when I was ready. 

I am just concerned if I have permanent nerve damage, or circulation problems. I cannot get neurologist to run tests. I asked for MRI or CT of my sinuses to see if something shows. Won't do it. You think it was coming out of his pocket. I know I need to be patient, but without tests to say yes, your nerves are fine and there's not damage, doesn't help now while I am in the dark. It would be a hard thing to process if they were damaged, but I don't have an option to find out either way.

I need the benzo devil or God to listen. I just want the numbing, pins and needles, burning and pain in center of my face to calm for a few hours at a time so I could feel I am getting somewhere, that it is working its way to recovery. I am dealing with the shakiness, numbing in other places, and trembling. Those don't hurt. It's the pain that is unbearable. 

Please tell me taking this junk and coming off it doesn't age us. I worked so hard to take care of my appearance. I hope I can go back to the way I would have been had I never taken this stuff.

This is so frustrating. I've been nauseous all day and I don't know if it's something I ate or this thing, or me having anxiety over it, which I would not have had I not taken that junk.

Trying to figure out why I didn't have any side effects while I was taking that stuff, yet now it has put my system into shock. I understand the CNS, but I didn't have all kinds of skin problems while taking it. I had a hot bath and my hands were beet red. It was scary. I never had that before. Has this stuff wrecked me?

Edited October 10, 2023 by [Gr...]
addition

[[Gr...]]

This is a nightmare for all of us. It's a tragedy that docs never warn us of consequences withdrawing. I see TV shows and movies glamorizing Xanax and Ambien, branding them. 

There should be laws that these and z-drugs can only be given for a few weeks with a warning about addiction and withdrawal, and ceasing refills unless the patient insists on having them and then must sign a waiver. The insurance companies should step in by not approving refill after first few weeks unless they get patient consent and letter from doctor saying it's medically necessary. This is where my doctor and insurance failed.

I know I'm preaching to the choir.

I am disgusted this happens to us. I read they give anti-anxiety meds to children and dogs? Ridiculous.

Edited October 10, 2023 by [Gr...]
addition

[[de...]]

@[Gr...]  You may have missed part of my point.  Your body is trying to adjust to not having the drug.  You keep mentioning that you didn't have these symptoms while taking the drug.    The symptoms show up in full force when you have stopped the drugs.

I think one of the hardest parts of this journey is not being in control and the non-linear nature of healing.    As many members have said, acceptance is one of the keys!     Fighting the symptoms is like banging your head against a brick wall.  It is not going to change a thing, and could actually make things worse.  

[[me...]]

On 09/10/2023 at 21:39, [[G...] said:

Is it normal to be in a funk during WD? I am shaky. 

Hi grace just wondered if you have vasculitis my friend has it it's an autoimmune thing she has hers treated with steroids during a flare. I have sjrogens and I think that is due to the tablets......hope you get some help with it soon🙏

[[Gr...]]

21 minutes ago, [[d...] said:

@[Gr...]  You may have missed part of my point.  Your body is trying to adjust to not having the drug.  You keep mentioning that you didn't have these symptoms while taking the drug.    The symptoms show up in full force when you have stopped the drugs.

I think one of the hardest parts of this journey is not being in control and the non-linear nature of healing.    As many members have said, acceptance is one of the keys!     Fighting the symptoms is like banging your head against a brick wall.  It is not going to change a thing, and could actually make things worse.  

@[de...] I should have worded it differently. I mean that had I gotten any side effects I would have stopped it. They are sneaky drugs.

I feel violated. I wanted so badly once I stopped these that I would feel alive because of how low they were keeping me. Now I'm sad this is the result. I may have reduced my dose and stayed on it if I knew at all this could happen. Sometimes I don't feel like myself, which could be depression setting in. I want to feel positive that this will pass soon. Everyone wants that.

I get scared reading posts of people having so much trouble getting there. I am petrified. I know I can't worry about long-term protracted. I only learned about (acute) withdrawal once I stopped, at first it didn't seem too bad from reading online it lasts up to 28 days. The symptoms weren't a long list. They didn't say anything about the bad ones. I didn't read on those lists about nerve-whatever thing I have. Plus skin being compromised. That would have scared me into reducing or finding proper tapering. 

I try to accept, but part of me is still disgusted with myself because this is self-inflicted. Many go through that notion we should have known better. I have to get past that, but I guess I'm not ready. 

I want to go back in time.

[[An...]]

49 minutes ago, [[d...] said:

@[Gr...]  You may have missed part of my point.  Your body is trying to adjust to not having the drug.  You keep mentioning that you didn't have these symptoms while taking the drug.    The symptoms show up in full force when you have stopped the drugs.

I think one of the hardest parts of this journey is not being in control and the non-linear nature of healing.    As many members have said, acceptance is one of the keys!     Fighting the symptoms is like banging your head against a brick wall.  It is not going to change a thing, and could actually make things worse.  

@[de...]

Yes, this is what I think is going on also. I recall vividly when I was in inpatient medical detox. I felt like I was seriously dying the whole time I was there. I kept thinking this has to be something seriously wrong, medically, going on with me than just w/d SXs from the Klonopin, and the doctors simply can't find the cause. It was as if parts of my brain had been numbed all these years from the Klonopin and now those parts were starting to wake back up and become hyperactive, causing all these strange, bizarre, painful mental and physical SXs. I thought to myself daily the entire time I was there this can't be possible from benzo w/d alone.....either I am dying or I am going crazy I kept thinking.

These drugs can make you feel deathly ill and yet still have nothing serious or life-threatening going on inside your body.

[[Gr...]]

@[An...] I was still taking Ambien when I had symptoms already from X. The A helped a little, but may have extended my WD.  I am not sure if I stayed with A it would have buffered this WD. Scares me that I stopped both so close together. This is difficult. I want it to end. At end of rope. 

 

[[An...]]

3 hours ago, [[G...] said:

@[de...] Thank you. I'm sorry, I am sounding like a broken record. I wish there was a definitive answer. I hope you can understand my frustration. Eight weeks of this has worn me out. I'm running low on acceptance.  Doctors are so blind to this. It would help everyone if they knew about this.

I

Honestly, Grace, even if they knew about this and would acknowledge it, they still could do nothing to help you. You have to go through benzo detox and let the brain adjust to the absence of the drug. I am doing exactly how BB suggest this time to taper off these drugs and this is much more tolerable than all my past attempts that ended in failure and benzo reinstatement.

We all want off this stuff ASAP, but CT is never advised from a  drug that you have been on a long time unless you are having some serious adverse reaction to that drug.

[[Gr...]]

@[An...] I want to keep hearing the words I am only in acute and that I should be good soon and for it to real. 

Worst thing to happen to me. Pain is horrible now. Night is worse. I think I'm driving my husband away.

Edited October 11, 2023 by [Gr...]
addition

[[Gr...]]

@[An...] Do you know much about Celexa?  Something that could get me through this?

[Guest [...]]

Hi @[Gr...]

I’ve probably already mentioned this earlier in the thread (along with others) - 2 months is still very early on in your recovery. Your symptoms are most likely more intense because of such a fast taper (3 weeks). 

In regard to the Ambien, it’s not a medication I’m very familiar with, other than knowing it’s a Z-drug. 

But, if you go to Pamsters profile and take a look at her history, you’ll see that she believed the Ambien held up her recovery, so, maybe it’s actually a good thing you are now off both medications. 

I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but, you really are in the process of healing. 

[[Gr...]]

I have to go back on X or something and probably the rest of my life. I just read a member's history. He was on for 2 months and having symptoms 2 years. Some things have to readjust in the brain by going back on? Doesn't the gaba go back when reinstated? 

I don't know what to do I don't want to be like that. I am so scared. I'm damaged. 

[[Gr...]]

@[Wi...] I just read a profile of someone only on 2 months and having problems for 2 years. I am in a panic

[[Gr...]]

My husband is probably ready to leave me. If I don't get better this will ruin my marriage

[[Gr...]]

@[Wi...] Read about Xray. 2 months of Xanax and still having 2 years of bad symptoms. this is looking bad for me. 

[[Gr...]]

I am hyperventilating. I can't make this journey. The gaba has to get back on track by taking it again. IDK. This is the part I don't fully understand, the gaba.

I don't know what to do. I am having trouble hanging on and knowing the symptoms go on so long for people. 

Reinstate .25 a day. Probably not enough. 0.5? Sonething else?