Navigating windows and waves

[[Wi...]]

 

Does anyone else go between feeling fully functional and non-functional?

I have been like this all the time. I go between feeling like I am healing and living my life, planning, going out and feeling so bad that I have bad thoughts, can barely function and don’t think it will ever pass. I know it’s waves and windows.
 

How do you navigate it? It’s so rough! It’s like constantly being given hope only to have it taken away. 

 

[[le...]]

Finding it impossible to navigate, never know how I am going to be when I wake up. Can:’t plan or do anything it’s hell.

[[Wi...]]

14 minutes ago, [[l...] said:

Finding it impossible to navigate, never know how I am going to be when I wake up. Can:’t plan or do anything it’s hell.

Same. I go days doing fine and planning and then a wave hits and I am shaken. 

[[Pi...]]

I am in a window so  I’m multi tasking BUT I know it won’t last.  My CNS is calm and I have no idea why.   I haven’t done anything differently - it is just more time has passed.  I am in my 14th month post taper.   This is my life for the next 4 to 10 months.  

[[pi...]]

@[Wi...], I remember the early days for me. I would plan an appointment and later have to cancel it. I called myself the cancellation queen.

Once I started having more windows, I decided to celebrate them because they may not last. I saw the windows as a glimpse of my healing. 

I tolerated waves by repeating my mantra, ‘what I’m feeling is my healing’. Some days I just hunkered down and just took care of ‘me’.

This is the nature of withdrawal, allowing the body to recover on its own time is what I did. It did, recover, completely.

pianogirl 

[[Wi...]]

28 minutes ago, [[p...] said:

@[Wi...], I remember the early days for me. I would plan an appointment and later have to cancel it. I called myself the cancellation queen.

Once I started having more windows, I decided to celebrate them because they may not last. I saw the windows as a glimpse of my healing. 

I tolerated waves by repeating my mantra, ‘what I’m feeling is my healing’. Some days I just hunkered down and just took care of ‘me’.

This is the nature of withdrawal, allowing the body to recover on its own time is what I did. It did, recover, completely.

pianogirl 

For me it’s not early at all unfortunately. It just all waxes and wanes, comes and goes, sometimes waves are more brutal than ever. I had adverse reactions, not wd per se. I hope I can still get better. I am not even looking for 100% improvement but fully functional would be enough.

Edited September 14, 2023 by [Wi...]

[[Wi...]]

53 minutes ago, [[P...] said:

I am in a window so  I’m multi tasking BUT I know it won’t last.  My CNS is calm and I have no idea why.   I haven’t done anything differently - it is just more time has passed.  I am in my 14th month post taper.   This is my life for the next 4 to 10 months.  

Yeah when windowish times come I start living again, doing a lot of things. 

[[gr...]]

thank you - so needed to read this today!

[Guest [...]]

I feel this way a lot. It is very debilitating. Staying home and hiding out is heaven. When it gets dark at night its heaven. I'm tapering down from 1 mg Xanax and I'm down to .25. Its been hell. I feel ya'll. The mornings are the absolute worst! The mornings almost break me. In the morning I want to throw in the towel on everything. Just quit everything! I'm keeping on keeping on

[[Ti...]]

Yes … being dragged back into hell after feeling a sense or normalcy is exceptionally cruel.
 

I’m 14 months post benzo free. And the longer my windows are. The more cruel the waves seem. Just when I think I’m finally out of the terror. I get dragged back. 
 

You are not alone in this. I’m so sorry you’re oscillating from somewhat ok to being non functional. Let’s continue to celebrate our windows. And hold on tightly to hope during  the waves

 

 

 

[[le...]]

Is a window like a completely symptom free day. Never had that in 4 years, more case some days can cope with the anxiety and thoughts but in background, other days just completely overwhelm me. Ok days only usually last a day. Had this last couple weeks hoping sign something happening.

[[Wi...]]

51 minutes ago, [[l...] said:

Is a window like a completely symptom free day. Never had that in 4 years, more case some days can cope with the anxiety and thoughts but in background, other days just completely overwhelm me. Ok days only usually last a day. Had this last couple weeks hoping sign something happening.

I do get symptom free or almost symptom free. But I also have periods when I am very symptomatic, my symptoms change every few hours.

[[le...]]

Same here can start OK for few hours then by late afternoon anxiety awful. Previously was pretty level, so hoping it’s a sign my brain is trying to repair itself. After 4 years just need my life back. Mine is partly emotional stress from my family so trying to deal with that as well. Maybe case has get lot worse before it gets better. I coped lot better couple years ago.