Help with dealing with longevity of healing process

[[Re...]]

Any tips from those healing and functional on dealing with the longevity of the healing process in a positive way when you are still housebound and not functional? I would really like to hear from people who have been in my position and who healed or are healing and functioning. How do I define functioning? Working, traveling, parenting, exercising, and back to a balanced life off of all drugs and substances.

The physical trauma I have been through and the fact that it isn't over almost 17 months later is getting to me mentally. (It has been 17 months since tolerance, almost 12 months after CT)

For those of you who do not know my story, I was a severe case. In and out of ERs 10 times, was hospitalized on two separate occasions including once in psych ward, pacing hours daily with akathisia for months (clinically diagnosed), had a dystonic episode, and probably 100 symptoms if I count them all which I have not done yet. I don't even know how I survived it, to be honest.

Since I was polydrugged/misdiagnosed during the withdrawal process, I am now 1-2 months off of all prescription drugs. I do not know the exact timeline because I was blind-tapered but I do know for sure I am off for more than a month. I am not taking any vitamins or supplements and will not take anything from here on out.

I eat healthy foods (no seed oils, sugar, caffeine, flour, etc.) I don't do any substance recreationally (never have), and I have completely changed my chemical life. If a baby can't eat it, it doesn't go near my body.

I had a spike in akathisia that was really bad two weeks ago but somehow (fingers crossed) I have slept since then (7-9 hours per night) and I have not paced for nine days. I have had other windows like this and I am hoping that pacing episode was my last and that the remaining internal akathisia will dissipate as it has gone down considerably for the most part. My benzo-wise doctor who deals with extreme cases like mine said that akathisia episode was "textbook" so to speak, and my medical team is confident I will continue to improve since the trend has been in that direction.

Regardless, the longevity of this healing process gets to me mentally and I wake up dreading life. It is a horrible feeling.

I have many other symptoms still including tinnitus, hyperacusis, inner vibration, and itchy/burning skin sensations. I am grateful for what seem to be improvements in these symptoms, however, I do not have even a moment symptom-free or feeling "normal" again, and that pours gas on the fire of fear of the future.

Although I am in a "better" place than I was on the drugs. I thought I would be so relieved being off but the feeling of fear is still prevalent every single day.

When I can meditate again, do yoga, and exercise, I know that will help. But I am not there yet and don't know when I will be. Some days I can walk outside for 20 minutes but that is about all that my body can take. I am chronically exhausted and rightfully so. I hope to be able to nap soon....that would be a Godsend. I need as much sleep as I can get to make up for the months and months of insomnia and being up for days or weeks at a time.

 

Edited September 11, 2023 by [Re...]

[[bw...]]

Im sorry rebecca. But 12 mos since CT your still quite fresh. I was a wreck at 12mos. Way way worse than I was at day 1 of stopping the benzos.

 

I am now 6yrs off. Im in a setback from taking pepcid bur getting frequent windows again now. I healed fully around 3yrs.  we are all different. And you will heal. Time is your friend.

[[Re...]]

1 hour ago, [[b...] said:

Im sorry rebecca. But 12 mos since CT your still quite fresh. I was a wreck at 12mos. Way way worse than I was at day 1 of stopping the benzos.

I am now 6yrs off. Im in a setback from taking pepcid bur getting frequent windows again now. I healed fully around 3yrs.  we are all different. And you will heal. Time is your friend.

Thank you for the support and words of wisdom. What symptoms did you have and how did they heal?

I got worse around month five but it was due to the other drug being in the mix.

I hear the timeline touchstones of 12 months, then 18 months, then 24 once you are past the year mark if you have not yet healed. I know that healing can come anytime though.

I seem to be having hormonal issues now on top of everything else. It just seems neverending.

Edited September 12, 2023 by [Re...]

[[St...]]

I am also looking for help with the longevity of the healing process. I am 16 mos since a fast taper and jump. I’m overwhelmed when I have big setbacks. It makes me lose hope.

[[Pa...]]

Just now, [[S...] said:

I am also looking for help with the longevity of the healing process. I am 16 mos since a fast taper and jump. I’m overwhelmed when I have big setbacks. It makes me lose hope.

Hello @[St...], welcome to BenzoBuddies,

The length of time we suffer is horrific, I’m sorry to hear you’re still faced with this.  You mention setbacks, do you feel they’ve contributed to how long its taking?

If you’ll start a thread of your own letting us know about your journey, we’ll do what we can to help.

Pamster

[[Re...]]

30 minutes ago, [[S...] said:

I am also looking for help with the longevity of the healing process. I am 16 mos since a fast taper and jump. I’m overwhelmed when I have big setbacks. It makes me lose hope.

Sorry to hear that you are going through this, @[St...]. Welcome to Benzo Buddies. Do you have a coach? The right withdrawal/benzo injury coach has helped me immensely to talk through my issues. I come here when I need additional support and reassurance. I echo @[Pa...]'s thought of starting a thread for your specific situation. You are welcome to share more here though if you need to. Some people have strong opinions about others sharing in their threads but I would never tell someone suffering to share elsewhere if a thread of mine is supportive to them. I am curious to hear about your progress and setbacks and what you attribute them to. Thank you for commenting. I hope you find the help and support you are seeking.

Edited September 12, 2023 by [Re...]