Have YOU experienced this? Wave out of NOWHERE.

[[ia...]]

Buddes, 

 Please kindly read the context... I am exactly 30 days post-jump from the last of two benzos.

Context: Started Diaz/Xanax, June of 2020.  From Jun 2020-Sep 2022 I was on 3-4 mgs of Diazepam for sleep and .50 mg of Xanax for anxiety, daily. 

Duration/Taper: From Sep 2022 to June 23' I tapered off Diazepam. Jumped off Diaz June 6th 2023. Tapered off the Xanax CONCURRENTLY, and jumped off the Xanax on August 8th 2023. During the taper, I had all the symptoms you're familiar with: anxiety. neuropathy, tingling in hands and feet, insomnia, tinnitus, hair falling out, and much more.

Post Jump SX: Upon JUMPING, most symptoms subsided - I interpreted this as my body was just ready to be off the drug.

Present Day - Confusion: Fast forward to Friday... all of a sudden out of nowhere, I get an uptick in symptoms: Headaches, pressure, anxiousness, sweats, general anxiety, body pain. I know that we call this a 'wave' and these are normal. But... these symptoms are actually worse than my WD symptoms when I jumped. My questions for you:

1. Who has experienced this specifically a wave 30 days out, with symptoms WORSE than the original? 

2. Has anyone specifically encountered issues during the CHANGE in seasons? We're transitioning into fall, and this actually happened the first time I came off benzos several years ago. I have a theory that the lack of sunshine/vitamin D and seasons change COULD... potentially be impacting my symptoms. Maybe not.

3. How long have your waves lasted? (Yes... I know this is subjective as we've all been on varying doses/different amounts of time. I'm trying to get an idea of how long a wave lasts. Looking to hear about your experiences. (I've already searched this topic in the forum. I'm looking for real time real-life experiences.)

I don't subscribe to "Waves come and go and there's no reason for them." < I don't accept this. I accept that waves come, but I need to MINIMALLY try to find the 'why'.

[[de...]]

Sorry you are experiencing an uptick in symptoms.   What you are experiencing is typical of withdrawal recovery.   Your symptoms can intensify for no apparent reason.  I know it is disconcerting, but this is not out of the ordinary.  Healing is not linear.   We are used to things healing in a certain trajectory.  This is not the case with benzo recovery.  

As to the change of season, I cannot speak to that.   I have never had my symptoms change because of the seasons.

The timeframe of waves is extremely subjective.   This process is really hard to predict.

As for finding the why of your waves, you are not alone.   Lots of members try to attach the increased intensity in their symptoms to "something" - food, stress, lack of sleep, supplements, etc.  The list is endless.   I have not had any success attributing my waves to something outside of the healing that is taking place in my brain.    

I do try to stay away from things that I know might make my symptoms worse.....caffeine, sugar, stress.  Having said that I have ongoing waxing and waning of symptoms for no apparent reason.   I have been under tremendous stress in the last six months, and have seen more healing than I have in the two previous years.   Go figure!!!

 

 

[[or...]]

12 hours ago, [[d...] said:

Sorry you are experiencing an uptick in symptoms.   What you are experiencing is typical of withdrawal recovery.   Your symptoms can intensify for no apparent reason.  I know it is disconcerting, but this is not out of the ordinary.  Healing is not linear.   We are used to things healing in a certain trajectory.  This is not the case with benzo recovery.  

As to the change of season, I cannot speak to that.   I have never had my symptoms change because of the seasons.

The timeframe of waves is extremely subjective.   This process is really hard to predict.

As for finding the why of your waves, you are not alone.   Lots of members try to attach the increased intensity in their symptoms to "something" - food, stress, lack of sleep, supplements, etc.  The list is endless.   I have not had any success attributing my waves to something outside of the healing that is taking place in my brain.    

I do try to stay away from things that I know might make my symptoms worse.....caffeine, sugar, stress.  Having said that I have ongoing waxing and waning of symptoms for no apparent reason.   I have been under tremendous stress in the last six months, and have seen more healing than I have in the two previous years.   Go figure!!!

well that hits home for me @[de...] Sometimes I future-trip on my "protracted" time and I still have a long way to go, but your reply helps me even now in my tapering time, every word.  Thanks much, Denise

[[ia...]]

Hi @[de...] and @[or...] Thank you both for taking the time to reply. 

I *think* the wave is subsiding, but it's so odd - it literally just came on out of nowhere. I suppose my diet has not been as good as it once was. I need to think about that... 

Appreciate your insight @[de...]  I thin I expected a wave at some point, but just not worse than my original WD symptoms. Just so odd. Hopefully the symptoms will continue to subside over the next few days. 

When I was in treatment for Opioid WD, I remember many people saying that WD symptom would come back ON THE EXACT DAY/MONTH of original WD symptoms. I find this so interesting. Just another way the body is telling us it keeps score.

[[de...]]

Glad the wave seems to be subsiding.   And I do believe the body keeps score.  It is a lot smarter than we realize.    Yes, sometimes waves can be more intense than original symptoms. 

[[je...]]

I'm glad you're feeling a bit better @[ia...]. I know how desperately we want answers to these waves. Understanding the why would make this process much easier to cope with. I guess it gives a sense of predictability.

The thing is though that even though we think we might have it all figured out, we could still be wrong. There's just so much we don't know. As I'm navigating this process I'm coming to terms with the fact that I'm probably better off accepting not knowing the why. Otherwise I'll drive myself insane. 

One thing I've learned in my Stats class, that is constantly proven is correlation does not mean causation. And I've seen it  recently with myself when new symptoms presented after my jump. I initially thought it was caused by jumping but it was something completely different. 

So what is meant by correlation not being causation? Here's an example: there's a clear correlation between ice cream sales and shark attacks. Of course we don't think ice cream sales cause shark attacks. The more likely explanation is the warmer weather is driving sales of ice creams and more people swimming. But there's still a correlation nonetheless. 

I do find it hard to just accept randomness of waves. Maybe it's not randomness, maybe there's a highly complicated scientific explanation. Who knows? But I do know if I'm trying to make sense of it all when the answer is not obvious, I drive myself crazy. 

I am really happy you've had such a promising jump and symptoms are now lessening again. Each recovery is a recovery for ourselves and others to learn from.

[[ia...]]

@[je...] How did you know that I was an EXAMPLE person? I understand life through analogies and examples. I can really appreciate the example along side the concept of correlation/causation. I really appreciate you sharing this example. I think I understand. 

 

I have been a most inquisitive soul since I was young... always wanting to understand things... understand people's behavior... anything ... I just seek to always understand. And when all of a sudden my health does a complete 180... It's so hard for me to just deal with not knowing. Anyway, I digress. The wave seems to be subsiding.. maybe it's diet. Maybe it's the weather. Who knows. Taking it in strides. Appreciate your response, time and energy!

I know you did a long taper- right? As memory serves your jump, similar to mine was kind of a non-event. Have you had waves after your jump? What have they been like if so?

[[je...]]

Yes, my jump felt the same as my taper. As for recovery afterwards I cannot accurately comment on waves because I've had them but my symptoms were caused by something else. I wrote about it here.

[[ia...]]

@[je...] Jelly thank you so much for sharing this - this is SO helpful. The last year, I have continued to get serious gut issues on and off. It has been really tough. I think it's possible my gut issues are tied to gluten also. But sometimes the issues flare up even with weeks without gluten. But... I should go back to an elimination diet. Thank you for sharing this part of your story. It's so frustrating and also so interesting to me how... this process creates other issues in our body. Real... serious issues that are relentless. I'll keep you posted. Appreciate your insight!

[[je...]]

You are welcome. If you do suspect gluten you might want to ask your doctor for a genetic blood test for Celiac Disease. If you do have CD you can get seriously sick from cross contamination i.e. even just a crumb of gluten can make you  sick and you don't even know you're ingesting it. Gluten hides in lots of things like sauces and spices and you can't even use the same cooking untensils if used on gluten food, unless it's been properly cleaned. 

I'm very conscientious not to project my situation on others but if you do feel it could be something similar then a simple blood test could rule out Celiac Disease. (It cannot 100% confirm it but if you don't have the genes you don't have  Celiac). If not CD then you can explore a gluten free diet if you think it will help.

Good luck, I hope you find the answers. 

PS: there's a difference between CD and gluten intolerance. 

[[st...]]

@[ia...] hi so sorry your going through it. I feel for you. I took am going through a bad situation with Benzo. My ordeal started April 2023. I took paxil 3 days then stopped not realizing after that after 3 days anything would happen,but I felt horrible I'm sure it was withdrawal. I went to the emergency room they put me on Lexapro 2 week which made me feel horrible. I didn't wean of because the psychiatrist said I didn't have to. then she gave me  Ativan o.5 milligram. From April last week to Sept. 2023 I've taken it sporadically like about 50 times all together in those 4 months. I'm totally not the same person I was before April.  Do you experience crying spells.?  My last psychiatrist who I spoke to just recently in September wants me to start Zoloft ,but I'm not sure what to do. 

Edited September 14, 2023 by [st...]

[[st...]]

@[ia...] do you experience crying spells ? Are you completely different person.? Did you lose all  interest on the things you used to do.?

Edited September 11, 2023 by [st...]

[[ia...]]

Hi @[st...] Coming off Benzos is quite the ordeal isn't it? My heart aches for all of us having to navigate this torturous journey.

Interesting you mentioned PAXIL! MANY years ago, when I was 19, I started Paxil. HORRIBLE AWFUL DRUG. I cannot even begin to articulate how that drug negatively influenced the trajectory of my life. Sadly, I ended up being on it, for 3 years. I tapered by myself without a physician's help because they WOULD NOT help me get off of it. I can still hear the Dr. saying to me: "I think you're going to have to be on an SSRI the rest of your life."... Well, me being the Aries girl that I am... thought to myself.... "Ummm no. I will NOT be on this the rest of my life."... and I started my own taper. Took 7 months. But I did it. I was on the highest dose. 

I do not experience crying spells, although this is not an abnormal symptom. Crying spells are VERY consistent with Benzo WD; also consistent with SSRI implementation or discontinuation. 

And yes, losing interest in things we normally enjoy - is also consistent with benzo WD. I work 80 hours a week, so don't have much time for things I used to enjoy (LOL... laughing but totally serious). I think working so much has helped me keep my mind off myself during this process, but when I slow down and have time... I find the symptoms are exacerbated. That's probably not a good sign, but for now, I'm going to keep putting one foot in front of the other. 

How are you feeling stardust? Can you clarify your statement above: > "From April last week to Sept. 2023 I've taken it may 1 month 1/2 ." <Does this mean you've been on Ativan from April to current? Are you on a taper or taper completed? Nice to meet you virtually!

[[st...]]

@[ia...] hello well today I'm not well haven't been well since April last week. I've been crying and sometimes scream. Well what I meant was that between the months of April to September I've only taken Ativan 50 times between those months, which averages a total of a month 1/2. But recently in Septembers 2  2023. I spoke to a psychiatrist and he switched me to Klonopin o.5 mili. I only took it for 5 day then stopped. Well I don't want to take them anymore. I never really took them regularly.  ,But I don't want to take them anymore. My husband thinks that they actually help me ,but I tell him that I think we made a mistake with the benzodiazepine by even starting to take them. He thinks other wise. Nice to meet you too!!. Virtually 

Edited September 11, 2023 by [st...]

[[st...]]

@[ia...] how are you doing today?

[[ia...]]

On 12/09/2023 at 11:16, [[s...] said:

@[ia...] how are you doing today?

Hi @[st...] Thank you for asking! You can DM me anytime also. I'm doing ok. I'm in the midst of a wave. I have a theory, that part of the reason I'm in a wave, is because the weather is getting cooler and there is less sunshine. My body has always just felt better when I have more sunlight and in HOT weather. I know some people loathe hot weather, but I feel SO much better.. in warmer climates. It's just so weird how the wave literally came on overnight. My diet isn't different. It's the headaches/headpressure ... but I find when a headache is coming on, if I just CHUG water - and lots of it, the headache goes away. 

 

Appreciate you asking about me! Send me a DM let me know how you're feeling.