Question with Holding

[[mi...]]

I’ve been given advice before to hold on this forum due to my huge uptick in symptoms, especially newly present benzo belly. Guys I’m scared. It’s so painful and all consuming. I have yet to hold because my symptoms get so much worse towards the end of the second week that I panic and cut and get partial relief. But any relief doesn’t last and then I crash again. I feel like I will never stabilize and my body is just breaking down. Does holding help relieve symptoms, particularly GI related ones. I need to believe in the healing power of a hold if I’m am going to gamble and do it. K and I don’t love each other but I was stable for the last year plus on it even tapering. Any experience here? Especially when I didn’t have any symptoms on your taper before you destabilized? I’m holding at .160mg k for a week and desperate for answers. I just need hope. There’s too much doom and gloom here and not enough hope. I’m beginning to think that everyone with hope doesn’t come here and people here are the ones who never get well. There no way everyone who is ok benzos goes through this type of hell all the time. I know a lot do but where are all the people who don’t. Until a couple of months ago I was living a full and normal life. I’ve never cut too much. I was a victim of a few brand/form changes to liquid that set this off. And no one can give me hope. Just we don’t know, and tons of people scared making posts like this and nobody with any answers. I hate this.

[[Le...]]

These drugs are potent at even low doses. I agree with holding. I dont know if all your withdrawal symptoms will ease by holding, but im pretty sure you will feel alot better by holding.

 

My theory is, that the cuts to your dose, are starting to catch up with your brain, thats why we suggest holding. When you eventually decide to taper again, if I were you i would make an even smaller reduction. We believe in your recovery, as we have seen many recover before you.

The reason why the lower in dose you get, the harder it becomes is because these drugs are very potent. The lower in dose you get, the greater the reduction in gaba receptor binding will be.

Which is what is causing the withdrawal. No need to fear, you will recover. Maybe hold for 2-3 weeks and let us know your experince. I wish you the best. Sorry for the long answer. 

[[Lo...]]

I agree with everything LemonSoda wrote!  
that being said, please breathe. This process can get so overwhelming and scary!  I’ve certainly been there. Take a look at my taper.. I was at it fir a very long time but I was on Xanax for 22 years (including tapering). If I did this, you most certainly can. 

As far as holds… I did several. In fact I held for over a year (2020 pandemic) and before that I did an updose and hold that turned out to be a lifesaver. Keep in mind that I was following percentages instead of listening to my body … and my body was essentially screaming at me that I was going too fast. My symptoms (mostly all physical) became debilitating but I kept going. The hold took awhile to help me level out but eventually I did. Again, I was in a high dose for decades.  You are nearing the end of your taper (congrats) and things will get a bit harder before they get better but don’t get discouraged!  It’s better to slow down than to rush it. I know all too well that we all want off of this poison asap but I found that if you keep reducing while symptoms are intensifying, it’s harder for everything to even out.  
I would hold at a dose for a week or two (or three) and then make a cut if you feel ready. 
 

and… you’re not going to love this part of my advice, there is a possibility that because you’re nearing the finish line that some symptoms are going to be there no matter what you do. You may have to dig deep and tough this part out.  If you look at is as being your body trying to regulate and heal itself, and that these symptoms are simply part of the journey towards freedom, you might be able to tolerate it a little better.  I know the stomach issues are horrible!  I had them for the latter part of my taper as well as insane muscle issues. But at 15 months off (again, LT use, high dose, so much is getting better!). 
 

please keep us posted on what you decide and we’ll certainly try to help you through it!  
 

sending positive vibes your way!  You can do this!  
 

Fondly… 

L

[[mi...]]

@[Lo...] thanks so much. I had almost zero GI symptoms during my taper and all of a sudden I have full fledged 10/10 benzo belly with insane pressure, bloating, cramping, nausea. One day I was eating steak and wings like I normally do and the next day I was 9 months pregnant and losing weight rapidly and a high heart rate. This was just after I started my liquid formula which failed. But it threw me into acute and I have t recovered even on my original brand. I know GI is common but it wasn’t on my taper and instantly turned on. It’s so intense it’s almost unlivable. How can it go from nothing to everything due to one change. I really hope it settles down. 

[[mi...]]

@[Lo...] I have been cutting linearly but have never gotten beyond 6.2% per month which is super slow. I don’t see how cuts could get ahead of my at thay slow rate. I did wait only 2 weeks before my next cut and most of the time did so before symptoms from previous cut had settled. That’s been going on for a year. I’m at .160mg of K which is low but I don’t feel anywhere near the end. Let’s say I go to 5%/mo once I stabilize. That will still take 3 years or so or longer. I’m not in a rush, but to be near the end like that and to have significant symptoms is something I can’t wrap my head around. I worked at a school last year and had a photography business. I was a fun dad and super involved with my kids. In an instant I am none of that and sit on my couch all day and cry. I can’t imagine this is how I feel the rest of the way down. These stupid brand changed really did a number on me. I was a little unstable before that happened but a switch to Teva from accord messed me up bad and 6 weeks later a switch to liquid of another brand put me over the edge and set off my gut spasms. I can’t imagine this is just because I’m getting lower. It feels like I triggered this setback by confusing and pissing off my brain with the changes it clearly didn’t like. I hope that’s all this is. I’ve been back on my original brand for 5 weeks now. You’d think that will stabilize at some point. 

[[or...]]

19 minutes ago, [[m...] said:

@[Lo...] I have been cutting linearly but have never gotten beyond 6.2% per month which is super slow. I don’t see how cuts could get ahead of my at thay slow rate. I did wait only 2 weeks before my next cut and most of the time did so before symptoms from previous cut had settled. That’s been going on for a year. I’m at .160mg of K which is low but I don’t feel anywhere near the end. Let’s say I go to 5%/mo once I stabilize. That will still take 3 years or so or longer. I’m not in a rush, but to be near the end like that and to have significant symptoms is something I can’t wrap my head around. I worked at a school last year and had a photography business. I was a fun dad and super involved with my kids. In an instant I am none of that and sit on my couch all day and cry. I can’t imagine this is how I feel the rest of the way down. These stupid brand changed really did a number on me. I was a little unstable before that happened but a switch to Teva from accord messed me up bad and 6 weeks later a switch to liquid of another brand put me over the edge and set off my gut spasms. I can’t imagine this is just because I’m getting lower. It feels like I triggered this setback by confusing and pissing off my brain with the changes it clearly didn’t like. I hope that’s all this is. I’ve been back on my original brand for 5 weeks now. You’d think that will stabilize at some point. 

I've tapered way less, well, 2% each 2 weeks or so.  There's no shame in tapering super-slow, and if it minimizes your symptoms, wouldn't it be worth it?  I have had minimum if any symptoms, nothing that has interfered with my daily life except an occasional bad day which consists of feeling overly tired, some insomnia, and a migraine, but have had only 2 hard migraines in 5 months.

I've not switched meds, so can't relate to that.  I just do a dry-taper with my tablet.  I personally felt more secure with tapering the same benzo instead of trying a switch.

My taper is working very well, I'm 70, 71 this year in December and I am active in exercise/gym and on a Keto diet for 2.5 years.  These things may be playing a big part in my lack of wd sxs but I do have benzo-brain.  I don't have any pain except for 2 days (one night) I had an aching leg I had to ice, and also put magnesium oil on, and it was gone rather quickly, days like I said.

Just an opinion on looking "how long" your taper will last, get busy as you can (as you are able) get your mind on other things as often as possible, take it one day at time, or one minute if need be and think about living your life now, and what you can do to make it better.  The time will fly by.  I don't know your age but at 70 it's hard to have 3 or even 1 year taken out of my life to do a taper w/possible wd sxs, but if I gain more quality of life now, it's worth it to me instead of suffering for 3 years, Denise

[[je...]]

On 04/09/2023 at 11:04, [[m...] said:

I’ve been given advice before to hold on this forum due to my huge uptick in symptoms, especially newly present benzo belly. Guys I’m scared. It’s so painful and all consuming. I have yet to hold because my symptoms get so much worse towards the end of the second week that I panic and cut and get partial relief. But any relief doesn’t last and then I crash again. I feel like I will never stabilize and my body is just breaking down. Does holding help relieve symptoms, particularly GI related ones. I need to believe in the healing power of a hold if I’m am going to gamble and do it. K and I don’t love each other but I was stable for the last year plus on it even tapering. Any experience here? Especially when I didn’t have any symptoms on your taper before you destabilized? I’m holding at .160mg k for a week and desperate for answers. I just need hope. There’s too much doom and gloom here and not enough hope. I’m beginning to think that everyone with hope doesn’t come here and people here are the ones who never get well. There no way everyone who is ok benzos goes through this type of hell all the time. I know a lot do but where are all the people who don’t. Until a couple of months ago I was living a full and normal life. I’ve never cut too much. I was a victim of a few brand/form changes to liquid that set this off. And no one can give me hope. Just we don’t know, and tons of people scared making posts like this and nobody with any answers. I hate this.

I'm one of the hopeful stories @[mi...]. And I have done pretty much everything wrong and tried almost everything in the official and unofficial benzo manual (from cutting 75% and ended up in hell, updosing twice, holding - you name it). I did a hold of about 6 weeks when my symptoms got rough (I suspect my cuts were catching up, even though I was tapering within the guidelines, I think it was still too much for me). My symptoms were not as bad as yours but it got rough. I honestly feel if I didn't hold it would've gotten much worse. If I recall correctly, I did not feel any improvement in the first 4 weeks, but it got better after a month. After 6 weeks I was back at my baseline and tapering again. 

Now that does not mean it will take 6 weeks for you. It might be less, it might be a lot longer for you. But with everything you've been through, I think your body needs a break. It doesn't make logically sense to keep cutting when you're this symptomatic.

[[Lo...]]

On 04/09/2023 at 11:02, [[m...] said:

@[Lo...] I have been cutting linearly but have never gotten beyond 6.2% per month which is super slow. I don’t see how cuts could get ahead of my at thay slow rate. I did wait only 2 weeks before my next cut and most of the time did so before symptoms from previous cut had settled. That’s been going on for a year. I’m at .160mg of K which is low but I don’t feel anywhere near the end. Let’s say I go to 5%/mo once I stabilize. That will still take 3 years or so or longer. I’m not in a rush, but to be near the end like that and to have significant symptoms is something I can’t wrap my head around. I worked at a school last year and had a photography business. I was a fun dad and super involved with my kids. In an instant I am none of that and sit on my couch all day and cry. I can’t imagine this is how I feel the rest of the way down. These stupid brand changed really did a number on me. I was a little unstable before that happened but a switch to Teva from accord messed me up bad and 6 weeks later a switch to liquid of another brand put me over the edge and set off my gut spasms. I can’t imagine this is just because I’m getting lower. It feels like I triggered this setback by confusing and pissing off my brain with the changes it clearly didn’t like. I hope that’s all this is. I’ve been back on my original brand for 5 weeks now. You’d think that will stabilize at some point. 

So sorry you are dealing with this!  I totally understand that things came crashing in so suddenly.  To be very honest with you, I was not able to work during my taper but many were.  This is not going to be a popular opinion, but have you thought about a reboot by going back to the last dose when you felt well and were functional and stabilizing from that dose before resuming again?  Meaning just going back maybe two doses and see if that helps smooth things out a bit, hold at that for a few weeks, and then resume tapering again?  I honestly wish I had tried this when my symptoms got intolerable.  I did this at one point and for as much as I was mad at myself for prolonging my taper, it truly did help me!  I recall that within two weeks of the updose and hold, I was actually able to attend my niece's wedding - which I 100% would have missed if I continued to cut my doses!  It's just something to ponder.

While there's no guarantee that it will take away all your symptoms, if "might" minimize a few enough to make things more tolerable.  Please keep us posted on what you decided.

Sending positive vibes and well wishes your way!