It's not fair!

[[I ...]]

I can't believe that I'm passing through acute in my 20 month off.

I passed trough diforce this winter, moved to my country, dealing with diseases of family members, and I was doing perfect.

I literally forgot that I was benzo user and I didn't have any symptom from my 13 month. I thought I was healed.

I got very intense stress with my aunt and from two weeks ago I'm 90% like in acute.

The same intrusive thoughts, the same fear, I can't sleep, If I felt I'm waking with horror thoughts and shaking. My brain doesn't stops from horible prognosis and rumination. I can't feel 1 min peace or pleasure.

It's just too sad that this happening.

I must to put an accent that I was working two jobs this summer a heavy ones and I lost my appetite together with the stress of my aunt and I'm in acute nearly.

I didn't believe that we could be so fragile for so long...

Please for some support and similar experience with heavy wave around second year..

I'll appreciate it.

Thank you!

[[pi...]]

@[I ...],

You've been through a lot of turmoil the past year. It's no wonder your system reacted, I've seen it before.  Your cns is very fragile. The long work hours and two jobs along with family stress is a recipe for a wave.

I did have a very strong wave right before my recovery, at about 14-15 months off. I didn't really have stress but did have a lovely long vacation. That is the only thing I could find that might have contributed to it. It did pass and frankly, it was the last wave. I felt completed healed once the wave passed and it never happened again.

pianogirl 

[[I ...]]

Thank you pianogirl for sharing your experience and support!

How much it lasted your wave?

I'm very afraid that will take me a months...