Question for the group...How to get help when working really isn't possible

[[da...]]

Hello Everyone,

I stopped diazepam early June only August tapered for a year then stopped then quit my job in July because of outbursts, feeling terrible, brain fog, and 80+ benzo side effects, you name it I've got it.

I just wanted to pose this question to the group, not wanting to pry into personal finances of others, but I've seen multiple documentaries, and have read through a lot of amazing personal struggles and successes here. Just one thing keeps resurfacing for me which is a real elephant in the room for me (in about 5 months), and that is how does one (who is recovering from benzo damage) and unable to work, or at least (feels) unable to work, make ends meet financially, especially since there appears to be no legal supports or disability supports available?

 

I've read and heard of many people that during their withdrawals have suffered so much that they had to quit working, it also seems that 2 years is absolutely nothing in terms of "a normal" length of time (for the normal recovering person) to be able to enter the workforce again.

 

Luckily I had a great introduction call with a recruiter for a qualified position (I hope I can perform it if offered the position) as the type of work available now a-days (that pays) is absolutely 1000% multi-tasking with very little down time and 5 day work weeks - and rents / housing / food, etc just going through the roof.

 

Is there any friendly advice from those who understand benzo withdrawal and the financial struggles ON TOP of the unbelievable ongoing insomnia, brain fog, and just general inability to perform a job - how does and where does one receive assistance (if let's say, I'm a single male with no children)...Or is the best thing to grin and bear it because being homeless and withdrawing - is not an option.

 

Thank you for any friendly advice you can provide!

 

Cheers,

Dan

[[Es...]]

@[da...]

If you’ve got dual diagnosis: some underlying psychiatric disorder along with the BZD dependence. You may try to obtain SSDI - Social Security Disability Insurance Benefit.

You may also work part-time while getting this money. This is what I did, but I don't live in the US. I have Friends in the US and Canada however, who have obtained such a benefit and are now able to lead a reasonably secure life.

You need a pdoc's opinion that your are eligible and the whole documentation of your treatment - at least here. 

Here is some information: "SSDI and SSI benefits for people with disabilities”.

There is also telework available, but if you've got dual diagnosis, you cannot be working like normal people do, at the expense of your health.

Look, I've been deluding myself long enough that I can work like normal people. My parents have always hidden and denied my illness. Now it turns out, that I'm disabled since age 18 (OCD, dysthymia, social phobia, anorexia plus a host of physical issues).

I was ambitious and I earned huge money, as I'm quite talented in certain areas. I also got into workoholism and complete burnout.

Twice in my life, I heard from two different pdocs that if I continue to work, sleep 2-3 hrs a night, undereat - then I would soon die.

I have a very damaged body because of all this work. Of course, the longer you work, the bigger SSDI you'll receive (at least here).

You seem like an ambitious person. Just think: how much money would be enough for you. I worked for the government, had super prestigious jobs, looked great and felt miserable.

For a long time in my life I thought: 'it doesn't matter how I feel, the most important thing is what people see." This was my upbringing: all about image and pefection. With hell raging inside the house. They still live like this.

I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE THINK. I look good, so I dress well. I still like to make heads turn. But I don't want to talk to anymore. Except to my pdoc, therapist and a few genuine Friends.

Those who live for the image are the most unhappy people in the world. Cause they have a void inside. Which admiration of others is supposed to fill. But it's never enough.

One has got to love oneself first. To develop “self-awareness, self-care, and remembering what matters most",  as Kelly McGonnigal put it.

And what matters most is your mental health. 

Take care❤️

Paula

 

 

[[PG...]]

6 hours ago, [[d...] said:

Is there any friendly advice from those who understand benzo withdrawal and the financial struggles ON TOP of the unbelievable ongoing insomnia, brain fog, and just general inability to perform a job - how does and where does one receive assistance (if let's say, I'm a single male with no children)...Or is the best thing to grin and bear it because being homeless and withdrawing - is not an option.

I went back to work about 2 weeks into withdrawal. My symptoms were bad at the beginning, wasn't getting a lot sleep, had days where I barely got anything done. I was waiting for someone to fire me but there were days that I did ok, and mostly I just got feedback from bosses saying "you don't seem like you're doing your best" and never really got anything other than that.

As a person who is now involved in hiring decisions, I can tell you that a lot of people are duds without benzo withdrawal. Finding anyone halfway decent and willing to put in 30% effort is surprisingly difficult. If you are even able to do the job well some of the time, you'd be surprised how well you can do even with withdrawal symptoms. You might not get showered with praise but you, but you can probably do the minimum passable work.

I can't tell you whether or not you should be working, if you need more time that's something you have to decide. That said, finances are tough. Going through withdrawal? In this economy??? I remember being very worried about this, but I went back to work, didn't do great but didn't do horrible. Having a steady job made me feel a little better about myself, it was nice when I would be having a horrible days of symptoms but felt like I had at least gotten a little work done.

At the very least, something I told myself several times was "If I'm going to feel miserable anyway, I may as well feel miserable at work! (and get paid for it)"