I jumped 3 days ago… And this is what happened.

[[ia...]]

 

Since June 2020 I’ve been on two benzodiazepines. I was prescribed one 10 mg Diazepam as needed/sleep, and Alprazolam 2 mg bars for flying.

I NEVER took more than 4 mg of Diaz for sleep. I never took more than .50 mg of Alprazolam. The problem is, I took them multiple days in a row. When I tried to stop, I began having WD symptoms. Afraid of the WD symptoms, I stayed at 4mg/.50mg respectively for almost three years. I’m embarrassed I stayed on them so long, but I believe this was a ‘lesson’ God and the Universe sent to me for many reasons.

After my prescribing psych retired, and a new psych took me on as a patient; the new psychiatrist wanted to get me off the benzos. There was no discussion about tapering. Just time to get off. I knew it would be more complicated than just 'stopping', so I made the decision to start tapering in September/October 2022.

I tapered slowly on both. Jumped off Diazepam June 6^th 2023. No major issues. (All normal symptoms, some leg cramping pain, lots of numbness/tingling in hands/feet/sweating/sleep issues etc.)

From June 2023 to present, I continued to slowly taper down on the Alprazolam. Since the beginning of my taper, my symptoms have been: GI issues (Extreme), irritability, lack of sleep, memory loss, numbness/tingling in extremities, body pain and aches, tightness in abdomen/throat. My most challenging symptom emotionally and physically has been hair loss. From my perception, the hair loss has been extreme. (Don’t let the vanity fool you. I’ve suffered plenty physically).

It's important to note, that I’ve had to take this medication previously and stopped– but was on the drug for less time, and tapered for a shorter period previously. I do not remember the hair loss being so extreme previously. Perhaps because I’ve been tapering off two benzos and was on them much longer?

My last cuts were from .25 (or close to that) down to .12 on July 1. With this cut I experienced lots of sweating, some chills, body aches/pain, sleeplessness, tinnitus, irritability – and more hair loss. Sometime last week I cut again down to .06. Experienced another wave of symptoms. As I’ve gotten lower and lower, my hair has been falling out in droves. Last Wednesday I got to a point where the thought of jumping/more hair loss/worse WD symptoms was giving me so much anxiety, I decided I would try jumping (to get it OVER with!). If it was too much, I would reinstate at .06 or .12 If needed.

I usually took my dose around midnight each night. Thursday evening rolled around and I was feeling ok. I decided to see if I could go longer. I went to bed, slept about 4 hours, woke up – with the same symptoms. No worse. Again, Friday night rolled around… head pressure increasing, some anxiety. I took a 100 mg niacin with some veggies and head pressure subsided. Went to bed Friday, woke up Saturday feeling better than I have in months. Fast forward to today Monday, it’s been over 72 hours since my last benzo dose. I believe my body was just READY to be DONE with this evil medication.

The last time I was taking a benzo (years ago) my symptoms were MUCH worse – AND… I have a theory about why my body is coping SO well this time around. The last four weeks I have transitioned to a whole food plant-based diet (with some fish/eggs for protein). I’ve introduced a myriad of supplements to help with remineralization and absorption of nutrients. But over the last four weeks mostly avoided anything processed. I wondered if this has been helpful? Then… last night I went to a friend’s house ate a whole foods cupcake (so delicious) that was LOADED with sugar. Within 20 minutes, a MASSIVE wave of symptoms came on: Tightness in abdomen/throat, difficulty breathing, overall anxiety and the pressure in my head returned. This has confirmed my theory from the last time I jumped when my diet was absolute s*. I’m not vegan, I grew up eating meat/processed foods. But… I’ve learned recently that the diet has been THE BIGGEST game changer in my symptoms/WDs. As soon as I eat processed foods/sugar s* hits the fan.

I’m over three days free from Benzos and I feel fine. I don’t feel perfect, but I feel ok. My body has been ready to be done with this stuff for a long time. I will be continuing to stay active in our forum and I’m here to support anyone who needs support. I’m endlessly grateful for this amazing community and want to give a MASSIVE thank you to Jelly and Pamster. I appreciate you so very much. For anyone who is suffering/struggling right now, you WILL recover. We all will.

 

[[Pa...]]

What a wonderful update, thank you so much for sharing it with us! Have you recovered from that darn cupcake yet? 

You've done such an amazing job on your taper and you've tried your best to stay positive and it sounds like you've made some positive life choices as well.  I'm happy you've found something that works for you.  

I have confidence in your recovery, I hope you do too. 

[[Ho...]]

That's just amazing! Suddenly I'm thinking about a super squeaky clean diet. There's something about the digestive system in all of this. The cortisol surges after eating is one, and it's a biggie!

Thank you for coming back and sharing!

[[Gl...]]

Yay, this is such great news!  Congrats on jumping! I'm excited for you.  

Last winter I was eating a Clif Bar for breakfast every day, and yikes!  I was having extreme irritability and didn't even suspect the Clif Bar.  Then I happened to see a Ted Talk on sugar and eating a high protein breakfast, so I decided to give it a try, and the irritability disappeared.  I had no idea.

 

[[ia...]]

@[Pa...] @[Ho...] @[Gl...] Thank you so much friends. I am so grateful for each of you and your replies. Pamster... I think I'm getting over the cupcake, but I will say today I started getting a nasty tummy ache. Everything I've felt and been thinking/experiencing the last 72 hours plus has been validated by the food I've been eating.

I cannot tell you how much sense this makes. The last time that I tapered, I started to put two and two together; each time I would eat something sweet (and it's important to note I REALLY HAVE A SWEET TOOTH. Like I would eat sweets for EVERY meal if I could... no good.), each time... I would get a HORRIBLE headache and the SQUEEZING feeling. Tonight I ate an entire diced butternut squash, diced applies (cook over heat with coconut oil and cinnamon) and a spinach salad. I'ts not a hamburger, but - I feel somewhat normal.

As I'm sitting here four days after my jump, my heart rate is normal. I'm breathing normal. No headache. I'm watching a show with my other half. I'm writing my to do list for tomorrow, and giving thanks for the lessons I've learned. I have hope.. and lots of gratitude. My next hurdle is the hair. I pray... it stops falling out. And starts to grow back. 

 

[[Es...]]

@[ia...] 

Congrats on your jump and let's hope you won't have to RI the BZD.

Yes, the diet plays a huge role. You've got lots of vitamin D from fish and eggs. Vitamin D is crucial for mental health. Here  is a good article from Healthline.

Of course, you can supplement, but nothing can replace vitamins found in food. I have a very low level of vitamin D. I just cannot eat either eggs or fish. And I cannot supplement, cause it makes my hot flushes worse.

I remember when I took it, I felt so much stronger and had better mood, but those hot flushes were killing me. Additionally, I live in the North where there is not enough sunshine. I think Southerners are much more cheerful than Northeners. 

As to sugar. Of course, the brain runs on glucose. Eliminating sugar completely is not such a good idea, unless you are diabetic. Sugar acts on dopamine receptors in the brain.

But the sugar high is followed by a crash, like with stimulants. Here is an interesting article on the subject. I guess "everything in moderation", as ancient Greeks used to say, is the most sensible approach.

I also used to have a terrible sweet tooth. Then I was put on a small dose of a mood stabilizer, topiramate. All my sugar cravings disappeared. I wouldn't recommend this med to anyone, as it has horrible sxs. However, it was primarily designed as a med for diabetes. 

I hope you manage to stay off Xanax. If you don't, that's not a big deal. Life's a journey, not a destination. And no one requires you to be perfect. Good enough is perfect.

Best,

Paula (aka Estée)

[[je...]]

Congratulations @[ia...]! I am so happy for you.

May I ask you, what does your typical daily diet look like?

 

[[ia...]]

8 minutes ago, [[j...] said:

Congratulations @[ia...]! I am so happy for you.

May I ask you, what does your typical daily diet look like?

 

Hi @[je...], Thank you for your help along the way. I am endlessly grateful for you, Pamster and our community. 

For the last six weeks or so, I have kept to mostly a plant based diet (I'm mot a huge proponent of being 'vegan' I've eaten meat my entire life). I do eat fish. But the biggest thing has been removing processed foods. A typical day looks like: 

-Wake 8 AM. Fast until 2 PM (and yes, I do get hungry, I've just found that giving my organs a rest is important for my digestion to work).  First meal around 2; have a couple servings of steamed broccoli with a piece of salmon. A piece of fruit.

-Walk or exercise around 5 PM. Another meal with at least two servings of veg usually three, a serving of fruit, a serving of fish - and maybe brown rice but I haven't had much rice lately.

-Usually around bedtime I have a 200 calorie snack that has carbs/protein that helps with sleep. This doesn't sound like much food, but I've calculated my total caloric intake is usually about 1500 calories - and I eat A LOT of fruit and veg. The minute I start doing refined sugar - the WDs start. Even now, a week later, if I eat refined sugar immediately my throat gets tight and the anxiety starts. Huge game changer for me.

 

[[je...]]

I'm very happy you found something that's working for you!

[[or...]]

On 14/08/2023 at 14:05, [[i...] said:

Since June 2020 I’ve been on two benzodiazepines. I was prescribed one 10 mg Diazepam as needed/sleep, and Alprazolam 2 mg bars for flying.

I NEVER took more than 4 mg of Diaz for sleep. I never took more than .50 mg of Alprazolam. The problem is, I took them multiple days in a row. When I tried to stop, I began having WD symptoms. Afraid of the WD symptoms, I stayed at 4mg/.50mg respectively for almost three years. I’m embarrassed I stayed on them so long, but I believe this was a ‘lesson’ God and the Universe sent to me for many reasons.

After my prescribing psych retired, and a new psych took me on as a patient; the new psychiatrist wanted to get me off the benzos. There was no discussion about tapering. Just time to get off. I knew it would be more complicated than just 'stopping', so I made the decision to start tapering in September/October 2022.

I tapered slowly on both. Jumped off Diazepam June 6^th 2023. No major issues. (All normal symptoms, some leg cramping pain, lots of numbness/tingling in hands/feet/sweating/sleep issues etc.)

From June 2023 to present, I continued to slowly taper down on the Alprazolam. Since the beginning of my taper, my symptoms have been: GI issues (Extreme), irritability, lack of sleep, memory loss, numbness/tingling in extremities, body pain and aches, tightness in abdomen/throat. My most challenging symptom emotionally and physically has been hair loss. From my perception, the hair loss has been extreme. (Don’t let the vanity fool you. I’ve suffered plenty physically).

It's important to note, that I’ve had to take this medication previously and stopped– but was on the drug for less time, and tapered for a shorter period previously. I do not remember the hair loss being so extreme previously. Perhaps because I’ve been tapering off two benzos and was on them much longer?

My last cuts were from .25 (or close to that) down to .12 on July 1. With this cut I experienced lots of sweating, some chills, body aches/pain, sleeplessness, tinnitus, irritability – and more hair loss. Sometime last week I cut again down to .06. Experienced another wave of symptoms. As I’ve gotten lower and lower, my hair has been falling out in droves. Last Wednesday I got to a point where the thought of jumping/more hair loss/worse WD symptoms was giving me so much anxiety, I decided I would try jumping (to get it OVER with!). If it was too much, I would reinstate at .06 or .12 If needed.

I usually took my dose around midnight each night. Thursday evening rolled around and I was feeling ok. I decided to see if I could go longer. I went to bed, slept about 4 hours, woke up – with the same symptoms. No worse. Again, Friday night rolled around… head pressure increasing, some anxiety. I took a 100 mg niacin with some veggies and head pressure subsided. Went to bed Friday, woke up Saturday feeling better than I have in months. Fast forward to today Monday, it’s been over 72 hours since my last benzo dose. I believe my body was just READY to be DONE with this evil medication.

The last time I was taking a benzo (years ago) my symptoms were MUCH worse – AND… I have a theory about why my body is coping SO well this time around. The last four weeks I have transitioned to a whole food plant-based diet (with some fish/eggs for protein). I’ve introduced a myriad of supplements to help with remineralization and absorption of nutrients. But over the last four weeks mostly avoided anything processed. I wondered if this has been helpful? Then… last night I went to a friend’s house ate a whole foods cupcake (so delicious) that was LOADED with sugar. Within 20 minutes, a MASSIVE wave of symptoms came on: Tightness in abdomen/throat, difficulty breathing, overall anxiety and the pressure in my head returned. This has confirmed my theory from the last time I jumped when my diet was absolute s*. I’m not vegan, I grew up eating meat/processed foods. But… I’ve learned recently that the diet has been THE BIGGEST game changer in my symptoms/WDs. As soon as I eat processed foods/sugar s* hits the fan.

I’m over three days free from Benzos and I feel fine. I don’t feel perfect, but I feel ok. My body has been ready to be done with this stuff for a long time. I will be continuing to stay active in our forum and I’m here to support anyone who needs support. I’m endlessly grateful for this amazing community and want to give a MASSIVE thank you to Jelly and Pamster. I appreciate you so very much. For anyone who is suffering/struggling right now, you WILL recover. We all will.

you know me pretty good by now audigirl @[ia...] and I won't go on about it, again, but I so believe in nutrition and it's role in my lack of symptoms, and possibility of beginning to heal at 5 months into taper.  Most of all though, I believe in the slow taper I'm doing which is 6% per month, that's for me because of 35 yrs of C at 1mg.  Long, many years in tolerance wd which I knew zero about. 

I also use magnesium both in baths and oral doses of 2 x per day, for any pain/aching muscles, and I do collagen.  My hair grows too fast, lol, because I have a short haircut (really notice it more), and get tired of having to go back to my hair-dresser so often, and my nails are growing faster.  I did take these at least 2.5 years before I got onto tapering the right way on BB.  My nutrition is the same except I am very low carb because of my T2 Diabetes I have, won't take any meds, got my A1c's down with nutrition only, in remission since about 1 month on low-carb.

I am thrilled to see your update, and it's good to see this a.m. Denise PS You've come a long way baby!!

[[or...]]

oops, I should have put "much the same" on the diet, mine isn't plant-based, although I know many on ketogenic that do PB, mine is highest % in meats, fish, poultry, and healthy fats. Carbs are the lowest % Denise

[[ia...]]

@[or...]Thank you for your share/input! Yes, the older I get, the more I realize how much diet can really impact. I echo everything you shared; slow taper and suppliments! I recently uppped my mag and have been happy with that decision for MANY reasons including sleep, relaxation, bowel function etc. I also recently started taking collagen and I'm hoping that will continue to support my healing! In terms of healthy fats, what do you prefer or seem to eat most? 

Thank you so much for your kindness and well wishes. I have come a long way for sure... and I have to say, tapping into this community every day, ended up being (and continues to be) an important part of the healing and recovery process. Appreciate you Denise!

[[or...]]

24 minutes ago, [[i...] said:

@[or...]Thank you for your share/input! Yes, the older I get, the more I realize how much diet can really impact. I echo everything you shared; slow taper and suppliments! I recently uppped my mag and have been happy with that decision for MANY reasons including sleep, relaxation, bowel function etc. I also recently started taking collagen and I'm hoping that will continue to support my healing! In terms of healthy fats, what do you prefer or seem to eat most? 

Thank you so much for your kindness and well wishes. I have come a long way for sure... and I have to say, tapping into this community every day, ended up being (and continues to be) an important part of the healing and recovery process. Appreciate you Denise!

Hi AG!, I can't agree more with "tapping into this community".  I have several other "communities" but this is the one that I really fit in, such a good feeling because we are so up against a real enemy.  I think most of us know, there's a real camaraderie here, I doubt I'll ever let go of it, I've been on my own too long trying to figure out how to rid myself of a benzo and just lonely for others of my kind

Let's see, on fats, I do fatty meat cuts, or try to find them in market, I do EVOO, especially to cook stove-top or in Convectional oven, and I don't skimp on it, I do eat butter, love that with things like shrimp I get frozen, rather fresh but hard to get here.  Love my Salmon, wildcaught from Alaska, not farmed stuff.  I had chicken with skin on, thighs are my fave, and I make fat-bombs if I feel I didn't get enough fat.  A ketogenic diet actually has turned my body from being a carb-burner for fuel, into a fat burner.  I was 140 for my 5'2" small boned frame, and now at 113.  Got as low as 110 but looked like  a stick so I started doing weight-resistance, floor exercises (isometric types) and then started with light weights at the gym.

Aren't you glad you asked, sorry for running away with your question, but for 70, I've built some muscles I didn't have when I was young   I feel very young but never forget I am 70, almost 71   Denise PS I don't eat processed or table sugar, and I don't eat high-carb foods.

[[ia...]]

@[or...] LOL! I AM glad that I asked.. because knowledge is POWER during this process. I find a high protein diet with lots of veg also.. is the best thing for me. I have a small frame also and have found my body just 'operates better' when I have less weight on my frame. I have more energy... sleep better, move better etc when I'm really concious about my diet. Now... I would LOVE to eat sweets for every meal but that has gotten me into some serious trouble in the past, so I've been cleaning that up. Thanks for the feedback on foods. I like salmon too - and need to buy more wild. It sounds like you a VERY YOUNG 70 years old....  Grateful to meet you Denise!

[[or...]]

2 hours ago, [[i...] said:

@[or...] LOL! I AM glad that I asked.. because knowledge is POWER during this process. I find a high protein diet with lots of veg also.. is the best thing for me. I have a small frame also and have found my body just 'operates better' when I have less weight on my frame. I have more energy... sleep better, move better etc when I'm really concious about my diet. Now... I would LOVE to eat sweets for every meal but that has gotten me into some serious trouble in the past, so I've been cleaning that up. Thanks for the feedback on foods. I like salmon too - and need to buy more wild. It sounds like you a VERY YOUNG 70 years old....  Grateful to meet you Denise!

I hear you, and I so miss my M&M caramels  

Just found a pack of the Salmon, so lucky, it was about half the price as last time, hoping our prices eventually go back to what they were, guess we'll see

I'm grateful to meet you too audigirl