Anyone here interested in philosophy, psychology, literature quotes?

[[Th...]]

Oh my gosh, I am just seeing this thread for the first time!  I took a few philosophy classes in college, I've always been obsessed with human behavior and figured if I understood myself better, my struggles, my successes and my failures, I could understand humanity it bit more. 

I NEED to go back to the beginning of this thread and start reading, philosophical quotes always hit me deeply! 😊

[[Th...]]

I ran out of reactions to give today. 🤣

@[Es...] Very inspiring quotes here, ❤️ if only we look a little deeper into our world, be mindful of our surroundings, a bit more connected to it all, maybe we could find a bit more joy in life. ☺️

[[be...]]

[[Ta...]]

17 hours ago, [[E...] said:

@[...]

Oh, I love Sylvia Plath's poetry. She had such a tragic life though. Cut prematurely by her suicide at age 30. Lots of people blame Ted Hughes for having left her and their two little children for another woman, Assia Wevill.

There is certainly an argument in favor of this: Assia Wevill also committed suicide with her daughter Shura. It was in 1969, just six years after Sylvia's death. Ted had then already started numerous affairs and neglected Assia. The most important was with Carol Orchard, 20 yrs his junior, a nurse, whom he later married in 1970. He was with her until his death at 68, but it's questionable if he kept his fidelity.

I read Sylvia's journals and the letters she wrote to her therapist Dr Ruth Barnhouse, written after Ted's affair with Assia Wevill had already started and Ted had left Sylvia. They revealed a lot about Sylvia's depression and insecurities, but also about Ted's abusive behavior. Sylvia also lost her beloved father at a very young age, which constituted a lifelong trauma. 

Another person of interest here is Sylvia's mother, Aurelia. They were very close, but I perceived their relationship as a bit of a love-hate one. The famous poem "Medusa" attests to it. It's actually one of my favorite poems, though I'm not a native English speaker. I started reading Sylvia as a teenager in Polish translations. Then I moved to English, and her vocab is so extensive, to say the least.

Sylvia became quite dependent on her mother when she was abandoned by Ted. And she had already tried to kill herself with her mother's pills when Ted was not even in the picture. So it's risky to blame anyone here, though this article actually claims that Sylvia hated her mother, and even that the poem ”Daddy" was actually dedicated to Aurelia. Not to mention that she never wanted her mother to know she wrote ”The Bell Jar".

Well, we will never fully understand what happened. But this tragedy still haunts me years after it occured. And there are so many unanswered questions. Who contributed most to Sylvia's mental breakdown? Unfortunately, we will never know...

 

 

I feel somewhat triggered by this. Maybe delving into someone else's sorrow isn't such a good idea, when the benzodiazepine journey is so very, very difficult and sad in itself. I sometimes feel like a moth drawn to the flame when I encounter deeply wounded people (especially women.) We are complex, compassionate folks. It's alright to fly near the fire, but for us, there's always the risk of incineration. Careful.

[[Es...]]

@[Ta...] what do you suggest. We may remove it or place a TRIGGER WARNING, according to what the BB Team decides. It triggers me each time I think about it and haunts me since my teenage years. I mean there are worse horror stories here on BB, and this is all burried in the past. 

I agree that we should avoid such topics. We are too sensitive. I was very depressed after having written this, but I also don't want Sylvia's story to be forgotten. It's some kind of warning for others. Never get too involved with another person. Always put yourself first. Your mental health, your welfare, your security. She was practically living for Ted. Even doing his work as a poet, rewriting his poems.

She was put on MAO ADs on the day she ended her life. I mean such medication should be started in a controlled environment. I think she was already suffering from insomnia and using sleeping pills, like her mother.

She had a nabe who was a pdoc, and he wanted to help her immediately. She was all alone with two small children. There was just a nurse checking on her every day and she found her. This nurse should have stayed overnight in case of a start of such a potent psychiatric medication. I'm afraid the ADs could have actually given Sylvia the altered consciousness and the readiness to act.

I'm okay with removing everything related to Sylvia's tragic life. But it's a known story. I'll try to keep the dark quotes off this thread completely. If I even continue it. I cannot guarantee this will be very optimistic, but never too dark. 

[[Ta...]]

1 hour ago, [[E...] said:

@[Ta...] what do you suggest. We may remove it or place a TRIGGER WARNING, according to what the BB Team decides. It triggers me each time I think about it and haunts me since my teenage years. I mean there are worse horror stories here on BB, and this is all burried in the past. 

I agree that we should avoid such topics. We are too sensitive. I was very depressed after having written this, but I also don't want Sylvia's story to be forgotten. It's some kind of warning for others. Never get too involved with another person. Always put yourself first. Your mental health, your welfare, your security. She was practically living for Ted. Even doing his work as a poet, rewriting his poems.

She was put on MAO ADs on the day she ended her life. I mean such medication should be started in a controlled environment. I think she was already suffering from insomnia and using sleeping pills, like her mother.

She had a nabe who was a pdoc, and he wanted to help her immediately. She was all alone with two small children. There was just a nurse checking on her every day and she found her. This nurse should have stayed overnight in case of a start of such a potent psychiatric medication. I'm afraid the ADs could have actually given Sylvia the altered consciousness and the readiness to act.

I'm okay with removing everything related to Sylvia's tragic life. But it's a known story. I'll try to keep the dark quotes off this thread completely. If I even continue it. I cannot guarantee this will be very optimistic, but never too dark. 

I deeply appreciate the effort to keep Sylvia Plath's work and memory alive. Many of us here on Benzo Buddies have similar tragic stories and pain. But, it is a very good thing that you point out the dangers of just pouring oneself into another person. I believe that Sylvia loved her children very much. They suffered deeply from this tragedy. It seems that bringing all of this out into the light can be helpful for those suffering thru Benzo recovery. Many of the trials and pitfalls that dear Sylvia suffered in her much too short life, plague us Benzo victims. It is good to open this up for discussion and reflection.

I love what you are doing here, Estee!

[[Ta...]]

On 13/08/2023 at 11:30, [[E...] said:

My doggie smiles! Which I appreciate SO MUCH! And she's endlessly good natured, which helps when I am a Benzo Grouch! 🤖

[[Ta...]]

On 14/08/2023 at 12:55, [[E...] said:

I am SO SO SO angry at someone right now. An arrogant, pompous narcissistic! But it only makes my symptoms worse. So I need to learn to detach. 😔