How long do waves normally last?

[[le...]]

Even though been off meds long time only just experiencing windows and waves. Wake up and for couple hours feel OK then it hits. Yesterday git quite hysterical pacing round the house, screaming. Have calmed down today just feel really sad. Think lot to do with what my awful family did, really hitting. My husband keeps saying you will get better, just struggling to get out of this black hole at moment just hoping doesn’t last too long🥲

[[Ga...]]

Leann, that is the million dollar question we all would love to know the answer to!  Unfortunately, there is no way of knowing how long a wave will last, as so many external and internal factors play a role in it.  All we can do while in a wave is to hang on tight and treat ourselves well…..eat well, get some form of exercise, tune out the negatives thoughts which many of us have, and think positive.   When I am in a wave in the morning I push myself to get up and get busy.   I am always amazed that my symptoms usually go away which to me shows that distraction is a key element in getting through waves.  I have had waves that last an hour, a day, a week, a month or a few months.  As soon as a window opens up, I forget the wave and how I felt!

At forty months I am amazed that waves continue to come and go, and all I can do is wait it out.  The more we fight the waves the worse the wave can be!!!

Hugs,

GG

[[ka...]]

Well said harden and I agree 

[[Ga...]]

Good morning, Kanoba!   You are up early and maybe feeling happy and feeling the healing?!

Hugs,

GG

[[de...]]

5 hours ago, [[l...] said:

Even though been off meds long time only just experiencing windows and waves. Wake up and for couple hours feel OK then it hits. Yesterday git quite hysterical pacing round the house, screaming. Have calmed down today just feel really sad. Think lot to do with what my awful family did, really hitting. My husband keeps saying you will get better, just struggling to get out of this black hole at moment just hoping doesn’t last too long🥲

Leeann:

Ditto what GG said!   Here is an analogy I use.   When you are swimming in the ocean and feel yourself being pulled under by the undertow, you are taught to not swim against it, but instead,  to relax and swim parallel to the shoreline and eventually you will swim your way out of the current.   It is the same with benzo waves.   If we try to fight it and swim against it, we risk getting pulled completely under.   Acceptance, in my opinion, is the key.  Accept that you are in a wave, don't fight it, and, this is the most important part, begin to practice positive self talk.   I am going to get better.   This wave will pass.   This wave is a sign of healing happening in my brain.   Waves are a normal part of the process.   

I also think getting on the forums constantly can be harmful for some of us.  The forums can be reassuring, but they are also filled with stories that could cause us distress.   Also, constantly looking for reassurance on the forums can keep us from developing and practicing good coping skills.   

Asking ourselves questions that there are no answers for can be counter productive.   We don't know how long it will take to heal.  We don't know how long our waves will last.  We don't know a lot about this process.   Here is what we do know:   Everyone heals!  

You mentioned the situation with your family.   I am so sorry you experienced disappointment and hurt in those relationships.   I know that must feel terrible.   I hope you can address this situation with your therapist and learn ways of beginning to heal from the hurt you experienced.  

So glad you are experiencing some windows!!!   That is great news!   Keep going.   You got this!!!!

 

[[or...]]

I have to be careful what I read, watch on TV and sometimes it just doesn't matter what I do or don't do.  I try to keep busy with what I can, and as soon as I done and worn out, I then get depressed.  But I believe what your husband said and that is we will get better.  I heard someone else say they have "emotional outbursts", how well said that was for me, exactly what happens to me.  I live alone now, stay alone most of the time, never go visiting, nothing truly social except this is it, online folks I feel safer, most of the time.

I'm not in protracted by a long shot, but I have those types of times.  It sounds you have a loving husband, I would give about anything to have someone that truly cared for me, strong but gentle, good-hearted.  Never had a husband like that because my "picker" was broken, ever since I left the love of my life at about age 23, maybe it will heal for me too

[[or...]]

27 minutes ago, [[d...] said:

Leeann:

Ditto what GG said!   Here is an analogy I use.   When you are swimming in the ocean and feel yourself being pulled under by the undertow, you are taught to not swim against it, but instead,  to relax and swim parallel to the shoreline and eventually you will swim your way out of the current.   It is the same with benzo waves.   If we try to fight it and swim against it, we risk getting pulled completely under.   Acceptance, in my opinion, is the key.  Accept that you are in a wave, don't fight it, and, this is the most important part, begin to practice positive self talk.   I am going to get better.   This wave will pass.   This wave is a sign of healing happening in my brain.   Waves are a normal part of the process.   

I also think getting on the forums constantly can be harmful for some of us.  The forums can be reassuring, but they are also filled with stories that could cause us distress.   Also, constantly looking for reassurance on the forums can keep us from developing and practicing good coping skills.   

Asking ourselves questions that there are no answers for can be counter productive.   We don't know how long it will take to heal.  We don't know how long our waves will last.  We don't know a lot about this process.   Here is what we do know:   Everyone heals!  

You mentioned the situation with your family.   I am so sorry you experienced disappointment and hurt in those relationships.   I know that must feel terrible.   I hope you can address this situation with your therapist and learn ways of beginning to heal from the hurt you experienced.  

So glad you are experiencing some windows!!!   That is great news!   Keep going.   You got this!!!!

That analogy is very good, I've actually been able to practice "not" fighting waves, not all the time, but when I do just "go with it" I almost immediately get into acceptance that it is something that will pass.  I've been in one for I think since my last taper basically, which was 8/3/23, so I see now that is lasting a bit longer than usual.  Not doing anything different as far as nutrition, but can't get out to the gym, only walks, and hard to do that.  Thing is, I do remember being told it means my body is healing itself and that's an amazing way to think because I can face it, accept it, and even feel glad about it.  I know I am on the right track.

Thanks for sharing this @[de...], and hope, love and encouragement to all here Denise

[[Ga...]]

Love your analogy, Decatur!!!   Yes, acceptance is a word you often hear from many of the benzo coaches, along with the word distraction.  I felt pretty bad on Friday morning and didn’t feel like I could make it to a friend’s home for lunch, but I pushed (swam) through and ended up having a great time eating lunch outside with dear friends.  Had I stayed in bed and ruminated over my symptoms I most likely would have felt even worse!!!

Windows are a good sign that your brain is healing and one day you will wake up to your final healing window!!!!

Hugs,

GG

Hi Denise, good to see you are fighting the good fight with positivity and acceptance, too!!