Im losing it I may go back to the Hospital !

[[Th...]]

4 years of 10 to 20 mgs of valium use and im now off for 3 days and im getting these scary intrusive thoughts. like ill become a psycho or injure somebody im agitated and its such a mess what we go through in withdrawal...... this is my 4th time trying to taper off and i always get like this. i was off for 7 months before and still i was soooo messed up im talking no way in heck can i work or even go grocery shopping. even during the 7 months the light sensativity was so crazy and i couldnt even eat any sugar or caffeigne or else it set of an attack. im freaking out in my apartment i tried going for a bike ride but nothing helps....... doctors dont do long tapers with me. they try and taper me off in a month. i cant think i cant do anything everything is in overdrive from panic, intrusive thoughts to my senses i dont know what to do.......

[[du...]]

@[Th...] if you have been on Valium (10-20mg) for 4 years getting off in 3 days is like jumping off a cliff. I admire that you were off for 7 months, is there a reason you reinstated besides being in WD hell? If you’re in the states I would highly suggest finding a doctor that will do a slow taper with you. Unfortunately most docs have no clue about WD but some are out there and they are life savers literally.

[[Fa...]]

@[Th...]  I am so sorry for what you are experiencing...again.  Are you familiar with the term 'kindling'?  At the risk of stating something you already know, it basically means that each time you go off a benzo and reinstate, the more difficult it is the next time to come off.  The experience is likely to be more intense.  This breaks my heart hearing how you have come to this place by being rapid tapered/CT'd each time.

There are two choices, really.  But, the one choice, as @[du...] said, will require you to do some leg work because it will require finding a doctor who will work with you to reinstate and allow for a slow taper.  Do you have the focus and energy to search one out?  Is there anyone who can assist you with this?

The second choice is to endure this and not reinstate.  To do what you have in the past and move through the WD process.  It is brutal.  All that you have experienced in the past with each experience was normal...unfortunately.  But, many CT.  Patience and courage to make it through is what is required, but it is do-able and there are so many members on here who are doing it and moving through it...and very successfully.  But, you have to be patient with the process as uncomfortable as it is.

If you do not feel safe, do what you feel you need to.  Your safety is priority.  I can tell you that what you are feeling is normal for what you have just gone through.  You do have some decisions to make.  Please keep yourself safe, and give it some thought.

Warmly,

F