i loved all your comments and thank you but still going to detox

[[Ni...]]

So genuinehonest, you see that everyone has different experiences as to when their withdrawal peaks.

 

I don't know when exactly your spa trip is planned. Have you thought about going to your doctor for a check-up first? Is the spa far from your home base? I know you don't like feeling stuck in your house. Have you tried walking about and being active right now?

 

I just hope that you think this through all the way.

 

 

[[sw...]]

Would i be right in saying the symptoms i am having are not life threatening no matter how rotten they are... This place is quiet river running through it and  i have spoke to the owner of facility that has had many benzo patients before and knows of my symptoms... Yes my legs are jelly and hurt, but does it really stop me from walking.. Yes i have head aches but they are not tumours... yes i have anxiety which i have had before many times... All sorts of things but what if they can keep me occupied and i feel positive,, surely that will help me...When i went to detox i was with people who wanted to basically die and people on all sorts of drugs,,,With in 5 days i was Valium free and yes i did expect some with drawls.. since i have been taken magnesium my legs have settled down i think... You what is affecting the fact i am alone and basically living in a bed which i don't like as then boredom makes you think...

 

I just wanted to say, I don't think that what you're saying sounds crazy.  I have no insight as to if this is the right decision or not, but I can totally see where someone who lives alone would rather be around friendly people in a positive environment that provides counseling and massages.  I looked at the web page and while I'm not personally sold on it there is nothing that screams "fraud!" and "sham!" like a lot of these things that other members turn to in moments of desperation. 

 

Am I right that you would have a safe way of getting home at any point if you get there and decide that you'd rather be home (as in, something not involving driving yourself)?  It seems to me that if you're going into this with eyes wide open that your symptoms might continue to worsen, perhaps *very* significantly, and you are comfortable with the idea of being very sick with nutty thoughts batting around in your head in a place like this rather than alone in your own home, so as long as there's a safe way home if you have a change of heart after you get there I can't possibly see the harm.

[[Ma...]]

You will ultimately make your own decision, as you did with going to detox and of course it is you that will reap the rewards or pay the price.  I would however urge you, this time, to listen carefully to the advice of members whom have a lot of experience.

Say for example, a massage sends your anxiety through the roof and you lose control for a while, are they equipped to deal with or even understand benzo withdrawal psychosis?

I fear not.  I can't imagine what they might do with you.

You are still early off, as has been said to you before, valium has a long half life and things might get a lot worse before they start getting better.

Be careful.  There is no quick fix and nothing will repair the damage but time.

 

Hi

At first I thought that might be good idea cause you will not be alone all the time,but as Amano said, listen members who have more experience. Think good about going there. 

 

Marija

[[ge...]]

I have taken your advice and rang them up and told them i cant committ to this program as i am not feeling that well...

They will hold a position for me at a later stage...

 

Thank you all for your advice as even though i am disappointed  you are right that once i get there i may want to come home and that is not committing to a program..

[[ge...]]

Just feel yuck right now...

 

I am hot, anxiety, headache and very irritable and the slightest noise i sorta jump...

Also feeling down, even though i am still on lexapro which i never stopped... feeling alone and don't know what to do.. how do i get through each day?

how do i distract my mind?

 

 

[[mi...]]

Just be very sure. I was promised a lot before I went to  detox and all it did is left me with a huge bill and they did not help me at all.

[[pa...]]

Hi Genuine

I know its hard what you are going through, but I suppose its like a huge w/d instead of mini ones when we taper, if you can hang in there it will pass.  Thers no easy way of getting off these pills, we either do it slow or fast to get it over with, but we still have to let the brain and gabas repair, which they will.  

If its any consolation when I cut only .3mls I have depression, anxiety palpitations and hot flushes. Isnt this fun.  etc

Luv Pauline

[[Ma...]]

It is a lot of people here with more experience then I have. You can reread again what they said. Everything is very confusing for you now and you just want to help yourself. Hang in there.

[[wh...]]

Dear guinine honest,  Was praying and thinking of you. im so glad you made it! Ive been there, I know. PLEASE dont re-instate the benzos. thats what I did and now im worse.

  Maybe its a good time to check out the natural anxiety and insomnia cures. i dont know a lot about this but I just ordered some L-thianine (could get it  anywhere anyway) from a company i have dealt with before called Swanson. they have all kinds of things and deliver pretty fast.

 

[[sw...]]

I have taken your advice and rang them up and told them i cant committ to this program as i am not feeling that well...

They will hold a position for me at a later stage...

 

Thank you all for your advice as even though i am disappointed  you are right that once i get there i may want to come home and that is not committing to a program..

 

Just feel yuck right now...

 

I am hot, anxiety, headache and very irritable and the slightest noise i sorta jump...

Also feeling down, even though i am still on lexapro which i never stopped... feeling alone and don't know what to do.. how do i get through each day?

how do i distract my mind?

 

Well, that's good news.  Once you are past the worst of the withdrawal something like that might be great.  I'm glad you got that straightened out and have something to look forward to for, later.

 

As for distracting yourself, I am only just over 7 weeks off, myself, and have found two invaluable means of escape/time killing: one is reading like crazy, and the other is brushing up on and practicing the piano.  

 

As far as reading goes, you might want to discriminate a little in your reading material as a friend lent me a really well written book of short stories, not explicitly horror but with a horror twist, that really freaked me out, so to do it over, again, I'd just avoid anything horrorish at all.  Everything else has been great, though, especially as I'm not up for much at all during most of this and reading is usually the one thing I can do.  It's also great for when I can't do it, because I can read a page or two and put it down and pick it back up later with no problem.

 

As for the piano, if you have a musical instrument you can play, even if you haven't in years, I have really enjoyed spending time brushing the dust off of my old pieces.  It can be rough going, because the withdrawal can visibly interfere with learning/practicing, but mostly it's the most rewarding using of my down time that I've found, so far.

[[Ni...]]

Hi genuinehonest, I'm sending a daily meditation your way.

 

I think you will enjoy your spa vacation more if you wait a little while. I hope you try to get out a bit in the mean time

 

July 12

 

~Let the Universe Lead the Way~

 

Feel and see how the life force, the heartbeat of the universe, leads

you on, guides you, takes you on the way. Yes, there are times when

we need to march forward, muster up our willpower, and grind

through the motions. But those times are transitory. And that's not

the magical way we're living now. Even when we stop, doubt, wonder,

get tired and confused, the universe is there to revitalize us,

move us along our path and lead the way.

 

If you're tired, rest. If you're sad, cry. If you're thirsty, take a long,

cold drink of water. If you feel hopeless, feel that. Feel it until clarity,

desire, hope, and meaning break through. You don't have to trudge through

on willpower, not any longer. You do not have to push your way through.

 

Rest until you feel healed, then gently go forward. Let the universe assist

you. Open your eyes, the eyes of the soul, and see where to go. Feel

where to go. Sense what to do next. See how the magical power of

the universe carries you along, even when you get tired, even when

you get confused. You are connected--to yourself, to the universal life force.

 

Quiet the chatter of your mind. Renew your body. Replenish your soul.

Take in all the healing energy of the world around you.

 

Then let the universe lead the way.

[[ge...]]

To day i woke up all right and got out of bed and tried to do a normal day... about lunch time i got hit and not i have numb feet and they are freezing. Has any one had that and feel tired but cant sleep.. I have anxiety where i feel lump at back of throat and always trying to swallow...No appetite... I had a cup of coffee this morning thinking i was normal...

 

I hate this feeling and feel down but not sure why

[[St...]]

I had every symptom you mentioned and I've learned that they are all common wd symptoms, those will go away in time. The coffee though may be contributing to your anxiety, many buddies stop drinking coffee altogether because of this, it may help you to hold off on the coffee until you heal up a bit.

 

Hang on John, you'll get through this 

[[ge...]]

SINCE i have got out of that terrible detox, my symptoms have got worse, but according to other people mind are not as bad as they had... I really feel for everyone in this site As we all going through our Korney to recovery... My full list of symptoms are hard walking, jelly legs, palpitations, anxiety, tight band around head, a bit of depression i think but i am taking lexapro.. CAN ANYONE tell me that while i was in the detox they dropped my dose from 30 mill to 10 over night and i was on that for 6 days and then 2 days with none..When i got out i took my lexapro again back to 20 and yesterday back to 30.. Does it take a while to get back in my system again or the fact i have been on it should the normal dose be right that i was taking.. Actually what does affect me is the sunlight, when it goes down i feel better as it is another day.. I know it is the wrong way to think but at moment when you alone night time i know i will sleep and put on my relaxation music and my equisinc which it tones for the brains, delta, Betta, and gabba i think and that relaxes me...but during the day i think as i think i am bored and it is a long day...I enrolled in a course today to become a councillor as i have an idea that also would be a good business..There are only two benzo councillors in Victoria...They are ex benzo users and they get a lot of people that need help getting off them... I would dedicate my life to ensure i get as many people off these as possible... tapering plans, support and can empathise as i been there too.

[[ge...]]

i cant handle this any more i am going to doctor this afternoon to reinstate and do this properly...

[[...]]

 

a slow taper should be much more tolerable.  no point in making it any harder than it has to be.

 

 

[[Ma...]]

Hi

I feel so sorry for your suffer. I hope you will get right decision about reinstate. Keep us posted.

 

Marija

[[Ni...]]

I'm sorry for your pain too. Let us know how you are doing.

[[ge...]]

I went to the doctor and ge reinstated me on 8mill as he saw me beside myself and was very much for the slow taper... I have carmed down a bit and just want to do this right now

[[Ma...]]

Hi

Glad that you feel calm now. You know what is the best for you.

Take care

 

Marija

[[Ho...]]

I hope everything goes better for you genuinehonest. You should start a progress log so we can keep tracking your journey. You're on the right path now.

 

Holly

[[wh...]]

dear genuinehonest,

.......................................youre ok, im glad. Dont be down on yourself. it happened to me too. The detox , then re-instating. Just one thing. Please dont updose unless you absolutely have to. Thats what I did and now its worse.

good luck