i loved all your comments and thank you but still going to detox

[[ge...]]

Thanks for all the kind words,,, It is very difficult at moment but i know it would be easy to reinstate, but i just cant...

 

I know it is the start of this new journey, but it has to get better...That is what i keep telling myself and just waiting for a nice window so some of my day can be normal..

[[ge...]]

I find when i try to sleep it almost feels like an unreal experience like i am go-in g to some how pass out.. I don't understand it...

 

My legs are my main worry as the jelly feeling is horrible and the movement in bed hurts like hell...

I think it is too easy to go back onto Valium, but i now been off them for 8 days and i think reinstating would only put me back wards.. What ever is happening is happening for a reason.

[[Be...]]

I'd like to support your decision not to reinstate by posting this from the 2011 update to The Ashton Manual: 

 

Reinstatement, updosingA dilemma faced by some people in the process of benzodiazepine withdrawal, or after withdrawal, is what to do if they have intolerable symptoms which do not lessen after many weeks. If they are still taking benzodiazepines, should they increase the dose? If they have already withdrawn, should they reinstate benzodiazepines and start the withdrawal process again? This is a difficult situation which, like all benzodiazepine problems, depends to some degree on the circumstances and the individual, and there are no hard and fast rules.

 

Reinstatement after withdrawal? Many benzodiazepine users who find themselves in this position have withdrawn too quickly; some have undergone 'cold turkey'. They think that if they go back on benzodiazepines and start over again on a slower schedule they will be more successful. Unfortunately, things are not so simple. For reasons that are not clear, (but perhaps because the original experience of withdrawal has already sensitised the nervous system and heightened the level of anxiety) the original benzodiazepine dose often does not work the second time round. Some may find that only a higher dose partially alleviates their symptoms, and then they still have to go through a long withdrawal process again, which again may not be symptom-free.

 

Updosing during withdrawal? Some people hit a "sticky patch" during the course of benzodiazepine withdrawal. In many cases, staying on the same dose for a longer period (not more than a few weeks) before resuming the withdrawal schedule allows them to overcome this obstacle. However, increasing the dose until a longed-for plateau of 'stability' arrives is not a good strategy. The truth is that one never 'stabilises' on a given dose of benzodiazepine. The dose may be stable but withdrawal symptoms are not. It is better to grit one's teeth and continue the withdrawal. True recovery cannot really start until the drug is out of the system.

 

Pharmacologically, neither reinstating nor updosing is really rational. If withdrawal symptoms are still present, it means that the GABA/benzodiazepine receptors have not fully recovered (see above). Further benzodiazepines cause further down-regulation, strengthen the dependence, prolong withdrawal, delay recovery and may lead to protracted symptoms. In general, the longer the person remains on benzodiazepines the more difficult it is to withdraw. On the whole, anyone who remained benzodiazepine-free, or has remained on the same dose, for a number of weeks or months would be ill-advised to start again or to increase dosage. It would be better to devote the brain to solving individual symptoms and to finding sources of advice and support. Advice about how to deal with individual symptoms is given in the Manual (Chapter 3).

 

 

[[...]]

Beeper,

 

I think this would apply to those who already have most of the drug out of their system.  He is only 6 days out from Valium which has the longest half life.  I am concerned that his symptoms are going to get a lot worse and that, at this point, he would get relief by reinstating simply because the Valium is already still in his system right now.

 

Otherwise, I agree about not reinstating.  For example, reinstating after more than 2-3 weeks.

[[ge...]]

today has been intense with irritability, really sore twitching and spasming legs where they move a lot... no appetite, scared, head very wobbly and sorta dizzy and nauseous... Surely this is all worth it... I do want to reinstate as i feel it s step back 6 days off the Valium from a quick detox went from 8.75 to 0 in 5 days at detox yet the first 3 or 4 days felt nothing only got the sore legs a few days ago and it has got worse since there... my head feels really heavy and of course feel down...

 

Is this all common as i need strength and don't want to go back wards...

[[An...]]

Due to its long half-life the withdrawals didn't set in till from day 5 or 6 with me - I had the worst withdrawals for a few days, never thought I would get through them. Beta blockers helped me with the palpitations. I would hang in there and ride it out.

[[ge...]]

i am going to a retreat on sunday for 14 days.. This is not a detox but all about positive thinking and massages and exercise and it is really nice..I rang up today and was worried about doing exercise at the retreat with my jelly legs.The guy was very comforting and he said even though it hurts walking is good for blood flow and with all the things i will be doing it will good for my recovery,what do you all think?

 

As i said i went to a detox and it was horrific and this place is very nice and has lots of good things and all about the positive

[[Ma...]]

Hi

I can't imagine how hard it is for you. It is on you to decide what to do. My opinion but I repeat I can't imagine your suffer, is to stay out of benzo's. I agree with Beeper's post from The Ashton Manual. 'It is better to grit one's teeth and continue the withdrawal.'

Take care

 

Marija

[[Ma...]]

i am going to a retreat on sunday for 14 days.. This is not a detox but all about positive thinking and massages and exercise and it is really nice..I rang up today and was worried about doing exercise at the retreat with my jelly legs.The guy was very comforting and he said even though it hurts walking is good for blood flow and with all the things i will be doing it will good for my recovery,what do you all think?

 

As i said i went to a detox and it was horrific and this place is very nice and has lots of good things and all about the positive

 

That sounds very nice. You will be surround with people and you will feel better and distract.

[[ge...]]

I thought this retreat would do exactly that and i have booked it for a while... I hope i feel a little better as this is important to me.I never though coming off a drug would make any one feel like this... Thank god for this site as it feels good to write knowing that i can either get advice or there is a person exactly like me.

[[Ki...]]

The retreat sounds great, probably just what you need right now.  Total opposite of the detox hell you went through.    It'll be good to get exercise, even if it's just walking, and massages.    Very soothing, peaceful. 

[[Pa...]]

Are you sure you'll feel okay being around strangers and not in the safety of your own home?  You might want to see what others say about massages, some seem to have negative reactions to them.  I know you want to run from your symptoms, and going to a retreat sounds like a way to do this, but the problem is, you'll take all of this with you.  Plus if you're going to be around people who don't understand what you're going through, what this is, you might be putting more stress on yourself which will make you feel worse, not better.

[[mi...]]

I agree with Pamster. My time in detox away from my home and family made it more miserable. I did not want to attend their groups because I was the only one withdrawing from benzo's and no one understood me. I would often sit in my room alone and sometimes in tears until my husband or someone came to see me. I didn't like being treated like a child and told what time to go to bed which was around 9:30PM. I just wanted to go home but at that time I also knew I needed to get off the Ativan. I thought detox was the way to go. You may have to learn by trial and see how it goes. You won't be in agnony. They will give you comfort drugs while you are there. It's after you get home after being taken down too fast is when the problems begin. For me cross over and slow taper is the only way I can do this.

[[Ho...]]

Are you sure you'll feel okay being around strangers and not in the safety of your own home?  You might want to see what others say about massages, some seem to have negative reactions to them.  I know you want to run from your symptoms, and going to a retreat sounds like a way to do this, but the problem is, you'll take all of this with you.  Plus if you're going to be around people who don't understand what you're going through, what this is, you might be putting more stress on yourself which will make you feel worse, not better.

I agree, I wouldn't want to be around strangers feeling that way.

I also cannot handle any type of massage or osteopathic treatment right now.

 

 

Best of  luck to you

[[ge...]]

This retreat is not a detox centre. The program is individual and not with other people as there is only 8 maximum there at once.. I know it sounds very swanky but it is luxury and all about the mind www.iwhrr.com.au

Please have a look as it is very good and highly recommended..If they can distract me or my mind and so much positive stuff in there and good food and just making me feel good about myself again, how can this hurt..,.Yes it ain't cheap but i put no money on my health as i do have a lot of past issues from the past i need to put behind me..

[[am...]]

You will ultimately make your own decision, as you did with going to detox and of course it is you that will reap the rewards or pay the price.  I would however urge you, this time, to listen carefully to the advice of members whom have a lot of experience.

 

The blurb for this retreat might sound great and professional, but that is exactly what you said about the detox you went to and discharged yourself from early.

 

What is says in the ads and how it appears in the benzo mind are a world away from when you have to be there and live it.

 

Say for example, a massage sends your anxiety through the roof and you lose control for a while, are they equipped to deal with or even understand benzo withdrawal psychosis?

 

I fear not.  I can't imagine what they might do with you.

 

You are still early off, as has been said to you before, valium has a long half life and things might get a lot worse before they start getting better.

 

 

Be careful.  There is no quick fix and nothing will repair the damage but time.

[[we...]]

Amano's right.  Can they deal with you.  If home is confortable, stay for a while and see.

[[Pe...]]

I agree with Angel, Pam, Holly, and Amano.  After Detox my symptoms kept piling on, day after day until I hit the end of my second month.  Then they all stuck around hitting me simultaneously for the whole 3rd month.  It wasn't until the 4th month that I started getting some relief.

[[ge...]]

Does it make any difference that i have been on Valium for 12 months and i slow tapered for 5 months down to 8.75 from 20 mill then i quick detoxed the last bit in detox... its now been a week since i off the drug all together...

 

Am i classified as a long time user,,,

 

I thought if i kept my mind on positive things it would help.

 

I am listening to other members but some have been on their horrible benzo for 20 years and some on strong benzos if there is such a thing...

[[St...]]

Benzos are hard to predict. I've read of some people that only took the drug for 2 weeks and have suffered for months and months, and others that have taken it for 20 years and more that were able to carry on after a CT. Everyone reacts so different to benzos, not all suffer.

 

That retreat looks very inviting, if it were me I'd love to take that vacation but like others have said they may not be as familiar with benzo wd and how long it can take. You might be best to wait a bit and go to the retreat when you have some time and healing under your belt. As you said "it isn't cheap", I'd hate to see you go and get hit with bad symptoms and want to leave after you've already paid. But it looks like a great opportunity for you to do something like this in the near future for sure.

 

Only my opinion, stay strong.    

[[am...]]

Does it make any difference that i have been on Valium for 12 months and i slow tapered for 5 months down to 8.75 from 20 mill then i quick detoxed the last bit in detox... its now been a week since i off the drug all together...

 

Am i classified as a long time user,,,

 

I thought if i kept my mind on positive things it would help.

 

I am listening to other members but some have been on their horrible benzo for 20 years and some on strong benzos if there is such a thing...

 

 

Length of time on benzo really has no bearing on how withdrawal will go,  the amount of dose only really seems to make a big difference when CTing or overly rapid tapering.

 

 

Keeping positive will help you, there is no doubt about that.  However, unfortunately a positive mind doesn't stop the physiological effects of a damaged GABA system.

 

It's up to you of course but......well you know my opinion.

[[Pe...]]

I think my case is extreme, the point I was trying to make was that your sx's might still be accumulating for a while due to the long half life of Valium, so I don't think it would be a good idea to make plans to go to a resort because you may or may not get worse.

 

I was on benzos for 20 years, on a high dose at the end, and detoxed off a much higher dose than you.

 

Your case is much different that way, and you are already doing better than I was at the same point in time.  The thing is it is unpredictable, so you should hope for the best, but prepare for the worst just in case...aka not making plans to go to a resort.  I would just hate to see you get into a situation and have your sx's turn on you.

[[Ni...]]

Maybe you can call ahead of time and see what kind of accommodations they have and/or provide in case you get worse? Or how close an Urgent Care facility is?

 

I c/t from Xanax and it took 7 days to have full-blown withdrawal, and that is a short-acting benzo. I'm not trying to burst your bubble, I just want you to be prepared and take care of yourself. Listen to your body.

 

 

<edit> Mistake, hit Modify rather than Quote

[[ge...]]

Would i be right in saying the symptoms i am having are not life threatening no matter how rotten they are... This place is quiet river running through it and  i have spoke to the owner of facility that has had many benzo patients before and knows of my symptoms... Yes my legs are jelly and hurt, but does it really stop me from walking.. Yes i have head aches but they are not tumours... yes i have anxiety which i have had before many times... All sorts of things but what if they can keep me occupied and i feel positive,, surely that will help me...When i went to detox i was with people who wanted to basically die and people on all sorts of drugs,,,With in 5 days i was Valium free and yes i did expect some with drawls.. since i have been taken magnesium my legs have settled down i think... You what is affecting the fact i am alone and basically living in a bed which i don't like as then boredom makes you think...

 

[[St...]]

I c/t from Xanax and it took 7 days to have full-blown withdrawal, and that is a short-acting benzo. I'm not trying to burst your bubble, I just want you to be prepared and take care of yourself. Listen to your body.

This is what happened to me, it hit me about 2 weeks later