i loved all your comments and thank you but still going to detox

[[St...]]

You're not coming off the lexapro too right?

[[ge...]]

yes i am.. As i said once i committ myself i go for it...

[[An...]]

Be careful coming off the Lexapro.  My doc took me off my Effexor rapidly - I lasted just a week.  The anxiety and agitation was through the roof. I have now reinstated and will reduce slowly once I am fully recovered from withdrawals.  From personal experience I wouldn't advise coming off both at once if you have any say in the matter.  Wishing you all the best in the next few weeks.

[[St...]]

It may be better for you to deal with just the Valium for now and Lexapro later. Since you're already on Lexapro it may help you with some of the withdrawals, you may be in for a world of hurt if you do both at once. I wouldn't want you to suffer needlessly.

[[Ho...]]

i almost feel like a hyprecondriac but the last two days have been hell..I have never had chest pain and tightness and indigestion where i cant even burp to relieve it/// I am eating right and no coffee and no sugar and everything i am meant to do yet still i am being beaten, so today i said that is it i am going to a private detox centre as i am privately covered for 28 days starting next Tuesday..It is the best in Melbourne Australia and in that time i am getting off Valium which i am down to 10 milligram and they want me off my antidepressant as well which is 30 mill of lexapro so i am probably in for hell... The reason is i live alone and have no real support bar this great site and i don't work...I try to walk and try to keep occupied and going to a special person that has done a weening programme for me, but i am going through with drawl..I was already on withdrawal before i started weening so even though it is slow to get off what i don't understand if you already in tolerance and getting with drawls how can you get better,,,So i need my life back... I am going straight from the detox clinic to a health retreat that then works on my mind as i believe that has a lot to do with why i am in the predicament i am in... I do have a real chronic illness which only adds to the anxiety and had a car accident in march which i thought i was going to die so all of this plus no job and being alone has really taken its toll.BELIEVE it or not for 14 years i went around Australia doing motivational sessions for the car trade as i was a well recognised trainer and thrived on being the best..Now i cant even look at my dog and feel worthless... Don't worry never thought of dark thoughts like suicide or ending it as i feel 1, that is selfish for anyone else in your life and 2, it ain't me...

I love this site and can assure if all goes to plan i will be here for any support i can give any one as i know the next 45 to 50 days of my life may be hell but i am supervised and not alone and trust these professionals as it is not just getting off these drugs it is reprogramming your self for the future and i do need help..I know there are people a lot worse of than me on here and have taken harder benzos and i really empathise the pain you are going through, but i also feel lonely and very depressed.

 

 

I went to rehab for benzos 8 years ago. VERY, VERY bad experience. Everything leading up to me admitting myself seemed good. They were really nice and seemed to care. I started withdrawing pretty bad on the second day even though they were giving me 40 mg Librium/day (I had been taking 4 mg xanax/day when I checked in). Everyone that worked there was not so nice when things started going bad for me. I was in extreme constant terror/panic/anxiety and basically every time I went to the nurses station I got told to basically "suck it up". I was in no way whatsoever in charge of my taper, or even when I got to take the Librium.

 

After 9 days, they cut me off the Librium!!! It was a HORRIBLE NIGHTMARE. Thank god I was only in there for 16 days, then I went home and "toughed it out" on the couch for the next 3 months. Places like that will tell you ANYTHING to get your insurance money. Only until you've went through hell do you realize "gee they don't know what in the hell they are doing". Most rehabs are 12 step based and trust me when you go begging for a dose of benzos at the nurses desk, you may as well be asking them for crack or heroin because they see you as an addict wanting a fix.  Rehab = 

[[ge...]]

I understand that it is not going to be easy, but no matter how bad it was you did it. Yes you went home and were crap for another few months but you are clean and hopefully rebuilding you life... I am ready for pain and every possible side affect of this horrible drug, but that is how much i hate them...I want them to be tough as if they gave in then how the hell would i get off it if they gave me a fix. I am weening off now myself and getting all the bloody symptoms you can get and have not felt the so called moderation of doing it slow...I weened 10 milligram in 15 weeks and just found it a slow horrible feeling in pain sort of person that was a zombie..I want this bad and want to be at the top of my game again as this is not living...I have a great house great support here and did have a great life...If you read my threads i have a chronic illness that is incurable. I would rather the pain of with drawl over my diagnosis but i have both and all i wont is to have my health paramount and to get rid of benzos lets me concentrate

[[ge...]]

To all that have supported me on here, thank you very much and i will ask for Little prayer out of all of you as i know this is going to be tough. I today am suffering really bad anxiety, and that horrible choking feeling, indigestion and funny thoughts as in morbid...My memory is just not there, but i am so determined. when i come back on to this forum, i will give my story and hopefully still see all of you here as we all in this together and here to support each other... Benzos are the worst drug in the world...In future if some one passes away, let me mourn, if life gets real hard let me find another way of dealing with it, if i am depressed let me find a natural way and support....

 

I will not look back and i know a lot of people have done detox, and know all the pros and cons, but i still determined..Going to narcotics anonymous meetings too has helped me as in that room it does not matter what you on it is a dependency and you all want help and i gotta say i don't feel alone and this website is just bloody amazing..Thank you who ever started it you are a saint

[Guest [Si...]]

genuinehonest,

 

Good luck to you.

 

You have to do what you have too in order to get off this drug.

 

We're here for you.

 

I was detoxed in 2007, Hydrocodone and other opiates.

Hang in there.

 

S#

 

*This thread needs to be merged with the others.

[[Ma...]]

Good luck genuinehonest

You are the master of your thoughts and your life. So be confident, believe in yourself and that is the most important. It is lot of from our mind and how we perceive situations. Be positive and don't think in advance. Step by step. You never know what will happen. We are all different and our body and mind don't react the same way on some situations in life like you have now.

I am new to this forum but I am sure that you will have so much support here.

Be positive and strong

 

Marija

[[...]]

Sounds like you've made up your mind, but you might want to consider that the pain of detox should not be your concern. The fact is that for many people, the faster they get off these drugs, the longer their withdrawal syndrome lasts.  I wanted to "get it over with quickly" and did a very rapid taper thinking I would just get through it and move on.  Two years later I am still symptomatic and I wish to god I had not taken the shortcut.  My nervous system is still reeling from the shock of the rapid withdrawal. If you are willing to gamble the next two or three years of your life, then go for it.  There are no shortcuts to this process, I'm afraid.

[[Ki...]]

Hey John,

 

Just want to say that I've read all of your posts and have gotten pretty caught up in your story.  I like your writing style, which, of course, is a reflection of who you are.  It says DETERMINATION, which is something we all need to overcome our dependencies on drugs. 

 

I'm totally pulling for you from this side of the globe (sunny Southern California), and will be here--crawling along with my Klonopin taper--when you get out, waiting to find out how things went.   

 

Kip

[[Be...]]

Hi John,

 

I just wanted to drop by and wish you all the very best.

 

I must confess that I am concerned about the fact that you are going into a detox facility to get off of benzos, but this is your journey and your decision to make.  I have my fingers crossed for you, bud.

 

Keep in touch.

[[ge...]]

well here i am the morning i go in. Bags are packed, no radio, no computer, no books, just self will and the hatred for these drugs.

I have mixed emotion and bringing every bit of my inner self and also the great people on here to help me...It is funny when you have a chronic illness like i have then nothing else matters, as i don't have a cure for my chronic illness being HIV and you know because of the benzos i have pushed that to the back of my mind as this horrible drug has put me on pause..So getting off these drugs for me is so i can understand what i have and how to deal with it...

 

We normally go on benzos for a tragedy or something not coping in our liefs or anxiety... I bet no one was ever told the outcome of where we are now and i was not even told that i could not go out and have a drink a i would be putting my life at risk/// cold turkey also puts your life at risk and all of of this pain just to forget what you initially went to the doctor for...I would be honest if there was not a tolerance to the drug and they worked like they worked the first time then we all still would be still on them..

Poison Poison Poison...

Mind altering and nerve wrecking drugs, i hate you so much i will do what ever it takes to get rid of you in order to get on with my life...If you ever want to leave a good will message for me  go onto www.malvernprivate.com.au  and just put john down  so they pass it on to you I will re post when i get out and again thank you all

[[Ho...]]

well here i am the morning i go in. Bags are packed, no radio, no computer, no books, just self will and the hatred for these drugs.

I have mixed emotion and bringing every bit of my inner self and also the great people on here to help me...It is funny when you have a chronic illness like i have then nothing else matters, as i don't have a cure for my chronic illness being HIV and you know because of the benzos i have pushed that to the back of my mind as this horrible drug has put me on pause..So getting off these drugs for me is so i can understand what i have and how to deal with it...

 

We normally go on benzos for a tragedy or something not coping in our liefs or anxiety... I bet no one was ever told the outcome of where we are now and i was not even told that i could not go out and have a drink a i would be putting my life at risk/// cold turkey also puts your life at risk and all of of this pain just to forget what you initially went to the doctor for...I would be honest if there was not a tolerance to the drug and they worked like they worked the first time then we all still would be still on them..

Poison Poison Poison...

Mind altering and nerve wrecking drugs, i hate you so much i will do what ever it takes to get rid of you in order to get on with my life...If you ever want to leave a good will message for me  go onto www.malvernprivate.com.au  and just put john down  so they pass it on to you I will re post when i get out and again thank you all

 

Best of luck, John! 

[[...]]

Good luck to you, man.  I admire your determination and hatred for these evil poisons.

[Guest [my...]]

good luck John.  God Bless.

 

Mamie

[[Fl...]]

Good luck man. Hard to say how your body will tolerate this but the important thing is that you will be rid of the poison and time will eventually put you where you need to be.

[[fl...]]

Good luck John. I hope that you find some peace from this nightmare while in there and will heal quickly once you're out. Take care 

 

Jeff M.

[[wh...]]

Good luck Man! If the going gets rough just remember that many are thinking about and Praying for YOU!

[[Ma...]]

Good Luck.

 

Marija

[[Iw...]]

Good luck John! i know you can do it! Stay positive and keep us informed! 

[[wh...]]

Lets keep this thread alive until he comes out. It could be really inspiring to him.

[[An...]]

Good idea. Was thinking of him.  Wonder how he is getting on and hoping it goes well for him

[[wh...]]

Ive been there and sleep is a big issue. theyll probably give him something thats not a benzo to help him sleep coupla hours each night. Hes determined so that will help.

[[ge...]]

I dishcharged myself today....I am off benzo Valium as of 3 days ago and am really suffering today....wind pains, cramps in stomach, jelly legs depression, anxiety...It was hell and i know you all told me...I am beside myself as as soon as i got in i was on 30 milligram of lexapro and they took me off that in two nights...I HAVE HAD brain zaps and my head feels like it is falling off....

 

It was hell and i miss all my benzo buddies and thank you to all who were honest and told me what this would be like.  They gave me nothing for my pain, in fact each time i asked,, they said suck it up... I was in with all sorts of drug addicts and it was an intense 28 day programme 12 hours a day.. There was 20 patients there and most of them under 25 and the first few days i made the mistake of befriending them... I felt for them as some of there stories was horrific and all i could see the face of my children on these kids...

I begged them not to take me off anti depressants of i am going and they still tried to talk me into staying but i could not take the anti depressants...I will never take a benzo again and it is hurting as you all said, but i am not going to relapse now...I am now stuffed in the head from the mental trauma i saw with those young people.. According to this programme all of us on here are drug addicts and we have an illness as we are dependant... It was the most horrific i have done in my life and i should have listened..The doctor said that anti depressants are placebos and no proven ground of what anti depressants actually does. They were trying to brain wash me, and now as you all said i am in pain and trauma and still withdrawals even though i am off these benzos...I will not go back and i will not ever take a benzo again and will put up with this horrible symptoms i am having..It is nice to be back at home.