Struggling after finally realising what it is!

[[ma...]]

Hello all,

New here but not to Benzo's sadly. I have been on and off Zolpidem and Diazepam for the last few years but the Diazepam has been the problem. I originally went on it due to anxiety and stress with personal and work issues. Those are resolving. I think I have finally realised that taking 28 5mg over a month, then stopping for a month, then going back to the doc with huge anxiety and getting more, well it seems I have been in some kind of rollercoaster withdrawal for about a year.

Maybe the penny dropped when I realised that taking 10mg of Diazepam had almost zero effect (compared to when I first took it) and I knew then that tolerance could be an issue.

My symptoms are very physical, so I was hoping a few on here might relate if I list them out?

Burning skin, arms and face (face gets red quite a lot), Itching all over (comes and goes), very loud tinnitus, muscle pain in back and neck/face/teeth, digestion issues (many of those), memory sometimes a bit fuzzy or foggy, anxiety that almost feels like panic at times, sinus issues, headaches and low grade depression.

The skin issues and anxiety are bothering me the most I would say...oh and night sweats!

Been 9 days since my last 5mg tablet and cannot see a doctor for love or money and here in the UK Diazepam is prescribed sparingly (which is a good thing) but now I am in cold turkey it just feels like a shock and I am doing my best to cope. I think I am stuck with CT now as tapering seems a little late to start (even if I could get some) and I almost don't want to put anything back in my body if it causes this longer term!

On 15mg Mirtazapine at night and that is a saviour for sleep but also yet another drug. 

I have been reading a bit on the forums...but now asking for help I guess if anyone out there can relate? This drug seems to sneak up on you in terms of tolerance and withdrawal...I had no idea...

Thanks in advance for any help or just empathy as it feels like a lonely road...

Mark

[[gr...]]

It indeed does feel like a lonely road. I CT'd 13 months ago and it has been hell - but still far better then continuing on with Klonopin. The past month I have felt much better - can sleep 5 to 6 hours and my appetite returned. Still have foggy memory and some trouble communicating with others. Walking every day and listening to music has helped a lot. I believe we will come out of this whole people.

[[ma...]]

Many thanks for the reply! It sounds like you are quite a way down the road...I know everyone is different but how long after CT did you begin to at least feel a reduction in some of the symptoms? Right now mine feels worse than what I originally started taking them for!

[[Ha...]]

I'm 39 months out of a CT, and still not great mark. Much like yourself I was on and off, and couldn't work out what was going on. Eventually I was trying different doses and couldn't get relief, then paradoxical reaction to 30mg and didn't sleep for a week. Don't let my timeline scare you, because I was a pretty bad case. There's countless stories here of decent recovery time from a CT. I just wanted to chip in because I'm from the UK and CT. Recently tried to get a doctor appointment which took 3 weeks, so totally understand we're you're coming from. 

You're only 9 days out, so you will still have some valium in your system. What you could do is get onto the surgery and tell them it's an emergency. You should at least be able to talk to a doctor the same day. Arm yourself with as much information about CT and WD in general. The fact that gave you more than 7 days worth without information on tapering is against NICE guidelines and you can make an official complaint.

This obviously might be wishful thinking on part, as I know what you're up against. But if you can get them to at least discuss things with you, you could try and get stable at a lowish dose and taper. 

 

[[PE...]]

I had tolerance wd from diazepam since december. tried CT for 18 days ago but after two weeks i started to get afraid for serious health issues.  I couldn't swallow solid food and cascade vomiting as soon I tried to eat.

4 days ago i decided to start a very slow taper with clonazepam. 1mg at night really working for me. I will be on this dose for a month then remove 10% every two weeks.

I belive when going  CT will prolong the WD. 

So my tips is getting to a baseline were you can function and start a slow taper.

Mabey switch to C as i did?

Greatings from Sweden

[[PE...]]

No I don't think it's to late to start a taper. You still have it in your system. 5mg a day i consider a pretty low dose I belive.

[[PE...]]

I was on 20mg a day for 5 years with a few days of bindging here and there.

 

[[ma...]]

36 minutes ago, [[H...] said:

I'm 39 months out of a CT, and still not great mark. Much like yourself I was on and off, and couldn't work out what was going on. Eventually I was trying different doses and couldn't get relief, then paradoxical reaction to 30mg and didn't sleep for a week. Don't let my timeline scare you, because I was a pretty bad case. There's countless stories here of decent recovery time from a CT. I just wanted to chip in because I'm from the UK and CT. Recently tried to get a doctor appointment which took 3 weeks, so totally understand we're you're coming from. 

You're only 9 days out, so you will still have some valium in your system. What you could do is get onto the surgery and tell them it's an emergency. You should at least be able to talk to a doctor the same day. Arm yourself with as much information about CT and WD in general. The fact that gave you more than 7 days worth without information on tapering is against NICE guidelines and you can make an official complaint.

This obviously might be wishful thinking on part, as I know what you're up against. But if you can get them to at least discuss things with you, you could try and get stable at a lowish dose and taper. 

Oh many thanks for the reply...I really appreciate it! I tried the Doctor surgery and have an appointment in a month - yes, a month! So, they then palmed me off on 111 who asked me 3 times if I was planning to hurt someone. Finally someone from a mental health team will call me but I am not really interested in that, I just need some decent advice. Sadly the NHS is very broken these days (around where I live anyway). 

I think I will wait for a call from the mental health team and once I tell them again that I am not going to hurt someone and just want advice maybe they can help? But I also know how hard it is here to get a prescription for these things...despite them being chucked at people like smarties when they have a bad back!

39 months sounds a long time! Are you taking anything to help or are your symptoms at least milder than they were??

[[ma...]]

29 minutes ago, [[n...] said:

I had tolerance wd from diazepam since december. tried CT for 18 days ago but after two weeks i started to get afraid for serious health issues.  I couldn't swallow solid food and cascade vomiting as soon I tried to eat.

4 days ago i decided to start a very slow taper with clonazepam. 1mg at night really working for me. I will be on this dose for a month then remove 10% every two weeks.

I belive when going  CT will prolong the WD. 

So my tips is getting to a baseline were you can function and start a slow taper.

Mabey switch to C as i did?

Greatings from Sweden

I think that's the thing - the symptoms are just so severe...I had a point where I thought I was dying as I had a huge number of paralysing symptoms. Now it is around 10 symptoms all in varying degrees during the day...plus a night sweat added in. 

[[ma...]]

28 minutes ago, [[n...] said:

No I don't think it's to late to start a taper. You still have it in your system. 5mg a day i consider a pretty low dose I belive.

I may try that, although in the UK it is very hard to get Benzo's and, I suspect, even harder if you say you are trying to get off them...

[[Ha...]]

33 minutes ago, [[m...] said:

Oh many thanks for the reply...I really appreciate it! I tried the Doctor surgery and have an appointment in a month - yes, a month! So, they then palmed me off on 111 who asked me 3 times if I was planning to hurt someone. Finally someone from a mental health team will call me but I am not really interested in that, I just need some decent advice. Sadly the NHS is very broken these days (around where I live anyway). 

I think I will wait for a call from the mental health team and once I tell them again that I am not going to hurt someone and just want advice maybe they can help? But I also know how hard it is here to get a prescription for these things...despite them being chucked at people like smarties when they have a bad back!

39 months sounds a long time! Are you taking anything to help or are your symptoms at least milder than they were??

I'm pretty fucked mate, but was a long time coming. Didn't know what was going on and kept on taking the drugs. What you could say is you're suicidal BECAUSE of the drugs. There's not the resources to section you. But you need to express how bad you feel 

[[PE...]]

36 minutes ago, [[m...] said:

I think that's the thing - the symptoms are just so severe...I had a point where I thought I was dying as I had a huge number of paralysing symptoms. Now it is around 10 symptoms all in varying degrees during the day...plus a night sweat added in. 

Yeah I had them all except seizures. I Don't know what was the worst. I think the mix of it all. Vomiting and panic attacks at the same time a few times a day was pure torture. Now I'm stable and glad i decided to make a long taper.

Stay strong my friend. 

[[ma...]]

3 hours ago, [[n...] said:

Yeah I had them all except seizures. I Don't know what was the worst. I think the mix of it all. Vomiting and panic attacks at the same time a few times a day was pure torture. Now I'm stable and glad i decided to make a long taper.

Stay strong my friend. 

Many thanks…and you!

[[ma...]]

3 hours ago, [[H...] said:

I'm pretty fucked mate, but was a long time coming. Didn't know what was going on and kept on taking the drugs. What you could say is you're suicidal BECAUSE of the drugs. There's not the resources to section you. But you need to express how bad you feel 

Will see how I go when they eventually call!