What is this? Akathisia? It is so physical.

[[Wi...]]

I am still getting worse somehow, I had a break and felt better for 2,5 months and the last 6 weeks have been terrible. No idea why still getting worse.

I wanted to ask those of you who experienced akathisia to tell me if this is a spectrum of it at all. I know it’s a subjective feeling of inner restlessness but how does it actually present itself? I experienced full blown aka years ago after one dose of citalopram and it only lasted a few hours but felt like this extreme anxiety with an urge to run up and down my stairs. There was a lot of adrenaline in my chest and my mind was racing. Then it went away and I forgot about it completely for years. 

What I now have is really different. It is a weird energy feeling in my muscles that makes me feel really tense and unable to relax quite often. It usually focuses mainly on one group of muscles at a time but travels. It feels that I can feel some tension that feels like white-noise-like energy in me, like a mild inner buzz going down from my head down as if there was an electric wire in me (know how you walk under major electricity posts and can hear them buzz? It feels almost like it). BUT I don’t really feel the terror/anxiety. I rarely get adrenaline surges and when I do it’s like I get it a few times and then it’s gone but it’s not what I read about people having aka. It doesn’t originate in my solar plexus.

The main source of these sensations for me is my spine, mostly lower back but it started in the upper back. It can be anywhere in my body to be honest. It always begins as a tension that hurts a lot. It can feel like an overworked muscle, throb at first, ache like a toothache, then it gets more electric and it can itch, tickle, burn. It seems moving the muscle or massaging it would help me get rid of that but it doesn’t help. But not that the movement is an urge. It feels like there is about to be a jolt down my legs but not enough to make them move, like electric energy, or sometimes there will be a twitch in some muscle. Or like there is a tiny explosion or surge in the muscle (almost feel pleasant but not). Quite frequently I get a looot of toxic burning itchy pain in the same muscles and down my limbs and the jolts actually feel painful - like internally burning white hot flame lighting up, I can feel my major nerves such as the sciatic nerve as if they are a faulty wire. So when this happens it’s like the buzzing jolty energy gets actually painful and burns. But when that thing hits I can barely move because moving kind of triggers it. Everything seems to be tensing up and locking up. It hurts so bad, I feel heavy like lead or like a gigantic toothache and I want to be still. It’s really painful! When I start using my muscles it feels like burning in my nerve endings (deep inside, not skin). Right now my lower back and butt feel as if there is a cattle prod being placed there. Or like my nerve cells stir and buzz or burn. It quickly leads to weakness and my legs almost feel wobbly. 

All this makes me feel anxious obviously and sometimes I feel on edge like I will have some strong jolts or go crazy and will have to move or have some kind of an attack but that doesn’t happen. It can last minutes or hours. It changes intensity, location, always on the move. It’s simmering in the background most of the time. But it’s not that I have to pace and it doesn’t feel like a prolonged panic attack at all. It is so physical for me. Painful. Not mental.

I had a lot of more pronounced inner vibrations in my head, chest, stomach, all paired with some anxiety and feeling shaky but that happens less often now and is not connected to the above sensations it seems. To me inner vibrations are different than the background buzzing. 

So basically to me this feels like the electricity in me has been turned up and I feel more than I should and it causes tension. Sometimes it feels restless but sometimes it feels very painful. 

Does anyone know what I am taking about? I feel so alone with this. I feel like I am screwed since this is so physical. 

 

[[sh...]]

You describe it very well. I have the same. Especially in my arms hands sometimes legs. I couldn’t find the right words. It is so extensive and can move, change in a minute. Must be our injured nervous system… 🍀

[[Wi...]]

11 minutes ago, [[s...] said:

You describe it very well. I have the same. Especially in my arms hands sometimes legs. I couldn’t find the right words. It is so extensive and can move, change in a minute. Must be our injured nervous system… 🍀

Sorry, it sucks. Today it’s my lower back and butt that are squeezing and in a vice. When I push through and move it starts burning first focally and then it gets electric and causes nerve burning. I am on holiday and I guess I will be stuck on the couch. 

[[sh...]]

I am so sorry! I know it can hurt sooo much. Very often I am crying all day and night long. But fortunately there are hours sometimes a day without pain. So this must be a good sign. It takes so much time. Wish you good healing!!! 🍀

[[Wi...]]

Yeah, it comes and goes. Usually worst for me when it hits the lower back, I want to rip my ass off. Somehow yesterday in the evening it subsided but began again as I got up. 

[[...]]

I get this too. I have it everywhere all the time mine doesn’t move 

[[Pa...]]

[[Te...]]

I have this all the time. I know exactly what you are talking about. 

[[...]]

So is it aka? 

[[dj...]]

This isn’t akathisia.  It’s just another benzo symptom without a name.  I have it too.  It’s all over my body and intensity fluctuates.  I don’t know what it is but it is a very weird energy, almost like a buzzing in our cells.  It’s very prevalent in the muscles throughout my body and creates this extreme sense of discomfort and restlessness.  It doesn’t get localized for me but is pervasive throughout.  
 

About 2-3 weeks after stopping Klonopin I noticed I was having a very hard time sitting for a long time in most chairs.  I just can’t get comfortable unless I’m on the couch or in a chair with a lot of support like an armchair, nice office chair or drivers seat in my car.  It’s just a weird inner restlessness.  It’s different from akathisia.  With akathisia there is a VERY strong urge to move around and pace…like sitting still isn’t an option.  I can sit plenty still with this but there’s just a sense of uneasiness and discomfort all the time.  Very anxiety-provoking bc I simply feel uneasy all the time. 
 

I have this 24/7 to some extent.  However, it has completely turned off for me a couple times and it’s been glorious.  Total window.  No more anxiety, no more pain, no more fatigue.