Please Pray for Me & Send Good Energy + Hope

[[wi...]]

@[Fa...] Me too!  It's really great when I see you and read your posts.  You are indeed someone I now call my friend!  Being isolated is no fun.

 

I receive your love and send it right back to you! I would have put the heart emoji you used but I don't see it when I click to emoji smiley.

[[Fa...]]

@[wi...]  The heart is from my phone…am using my phone right now.  I try to stay outside as much as I can!

What a lovely thing to say…thank you so much.  That touched my heart.  I will never turn down a new friend of such calibre. ❤️

[[Fa...]]

3 hours ago, [[S...] said:

Also funny thing is mine also came with klonopin.. it seems like almost all the akathisia stories have klonopin related for some reason.  & also tapering off my antidepressants has probably caused it as well.

I forgot to comment on this.  I agree.  Clonazepam does seem to be a common denominator in many AKA cases.  I know other drugs cause it as well, but it does seem to pop out at me when reading the stories I have been able to find.

And, the rapid taper in combo along with discontinuation of another drug simultaneously.  It’s like the perfect storm.  

[[wi...]]

I figured the heart was from some otters device.  Good for you being outside a lot.  There are tons of insects and ticks where I am loving and I hate being out back.  It sucks to be afraid of getting bitten by a tick after it happened to me 6 times and I am still itching and full of red marks after that happening 8 weeks ago.

On elf the big stressors is not having my own place right now.  Long story.  

[[So...]]

Thank you so much & @[wi...] I will pray for you as well, I am so sorry we are all struggling so much it's not fair.  My mom has a friend over right now & he is a benzo addict talking about how withdrawal only lasts three weeks & it's so invalidating & unfair that most people get off so easily..

[[wi...]]

I know. It's hard to put a finger on why some of us go through hell and others get off easily.  Everyone's nervous system is totally different.  I've seen long term users heal pretty quickly and conversely, some short term users suffer protracted wd symptoms.  

[[Fa...]]

@[wi...]  I am in the country…far out.  I have about 20 flies around me right now, and I’ve been through the black flies and all sorts of other insects, and it takes away the pleasure of being out here.  But, it helps me, so I do it.

No ticks here so far.  I’m sorry you went through that…I know how these things affect our NS being so heightened…reactions…fear.  Nature doesn’t feel so benign in this state…which is very saddening.

[[gr...]]

It sure is hard to hear how easily some say they have got over a past addiction. I am in a recovery support group - and most of them have shared that Benzos were the hardest for them to get off. Their words have helped me a lot. 

 

[[wi...]]

I can picture those 20 flies around you, flies are so annoying, and ever since I saw the exorcist and the amityville horror years ago, I can't escape associating flies with evil/death..lol.  They seem to enjoy taunting other living things.

[[Fa...]]

5 minutes ago, [[S...] said:

Thank you so much & @[wi...] I will pray for you as well, I am so sorry we are all struggling so much it's not fair.  My mom has a friend over right now & he is a benzo addict talking about how withdrawal only lasts three weeks & it's so invalidating & unfair that most people get off so easily..

Invalidating and incorrect as we all know.

Having said that, I did walk off once after 10 years.  I have experienced both now.

You are more than validated here. ❤️

[[gr...]]

I understand about the bugs! I also live out in the country side and we have lots of bugs here - ticks being the most dangerous. Didn't mean to make it sound easy to just go outside. 

[[wi...]]

I'm having one of those intense fear and terror/paranoia days.  Loads of intrusive thoughts, none of which are pleasant.  Anyone have this days where fear of going crazy is a symptom?  That's me today.

[[mc...]]

1 hour ago, [[F...] said:

@[So...]  I don’t really have coping skills other than distraction, really.  I’m in a wave right now, so bear with me…

I can tell you what has helped me.  I have a friend who is very helpful to me and can often calm me because the terror is over the top for me.  And, he is benzo-wise and has been through the process.  This has been a gift on many levels to me, and has been invaluable.

I do repeat to myself in my head that my job is to stay alive, and that is it.  Just stay alive.  Yes, SI is a given in this, and is present more often than not.

The cold showers can help bring it down a bit, too.  And, I pray A LOT.  

I, too, get breaks.  It never goes away, but it lessens, and I am still able to sleep at this time.  I am not off the drug yet, however.  I am grateful for that…sleeping, and when I’m in an episode, I focus on bedtime…just have to make it to bedtime.

I hope this ends first…especially the mental AKA…I hope it lessens as I get down.  If it were only the pacing, I could deal with that…but, the mental is what I pray for to leave.  It is the dangerous aspect of this symptom.

I am so glad you have a goal to look to…having a family.  That is absolutely something to hang onto in the midst of episodes…a light in he darkness. ❤️

I’m still on too but have been instructed to stop tapering until I’m a lot better. The  tapering is just further destabilizing the nervous system. It’s probably not the drug itself doing this. 

[[wi...]]

I have mental aka also and it is literal hell.  I was so invalidated to hear that there is no suck thing as mental aka, they said if a person is not pacing and walking miles a day, they should just call it anxiety and inner restlessness.  What's in a word, anyway.

[[So...]]

@[wi...] yeah whenever people say that inner aka isn't really aka I just say we'll whatever this is it sucks ass.  You are so strong tho, you've been dealing with this for awhile huh?  

 

@[mc...] I think holding could be a really good idea.  I doubt it is the drug causing this, once you have the injury you have the injury & I doubt however high or low you get on klonopin will change that, it will just heal organically over time.  At least that's how it was for me, there was no "stabilizing dose" 

[[So...]]

Also widesky yes most of my days are intense fear.  I either have intense fear, extreme depression, or both.

[[Fa...]]

8 minutes ago, [[S...] said:

@[wi...] yeah whenever people say that inner aka isn't really aka I just say we'll whatever this is it sucks ass.  You are so strong tho, you've been dealing with this for awhile huh?  

 

@[mc...] I think holding could be a really good idea.  I doubt it is the drug causing this, once you have the injury you have the injury & I doubt however high or low you get on klonopin will change that, it will just heal organically over time.  At least that's how it was for me, there was no "stabilizing dose" 

That is the same in my case.  This is as stable as I get.  In tolerance for many years.  Tapering in tolerance is not what you want.  I tried the hold.  I am tapering responsibly and safely.  

[[Bo...]]

Praying for y’all! I know the fear and aka, it can be too much…. Lean into whatever you can to help- warm water uaed to help for me. Now mix of warm bath and then cool pack on my head.

praying every day💜🙏

[[So...]]

Thank you so much @[Bo...]it is so sad how many people are suffering from akathisia but I'm glad we have a small support circle ❤️. We can all do this.  Did you have it & it went away or you still have it?

[[Bo...]]

@[So...]

it took a hike for a bit when I slowed down and changed to liquid compund. It would come back here and there bubbling but not all consuming like before. 
now it’s back with this crash I’ve had …praying for us all. Hugs 

[[So...]]

I am so sorry it's back @[Bo...] but if it went away once it will go away again!  Thats kind of how mine is, I have it way more often than not but it goes away for at least a few hours a day.  I actually had a 2 week long break about a month ago & when it came back I was devestated.

[[So...]]

Also, @[mc...] I wanted to tell you that I wouldn't feel too bad about taking the hydroxyxine if I were you.  I know most of us with aka are really scared of other drugs but the chances of hydroxyxine making you worse is very low in my non medical opinion.  Do what you have to do to survive, that's the most important thing right now w this.

[[Bo...]]

Thanks @[So...]

has anyone used clonidine for aka? I never did last year bc of my pots and didn’t need lower BP but I’m considering something here bc I need some sleep at night.

Yes I can imagine being so devastated…. I hate how things come back. It’s so hard but yea if it leaves it will go again. I’ll be praying for you that it takes a hike soon. 

[[So...]]

I use clonodine @[Bo...] it will put me to sleep & if I get the aka physically it takes it away but mentally it doesn't do anything really tbh.  The only thing that helps me mentally is kratom & even that doesn't completely do it.

[[Fa...]]

4 hours ago, [[w...] said:

I have mental aka also and it is literal hell.  I was so invalidated to hear that there is no suck thing as mental aka, they said if a person is not pacing and walking miles a day, they should just call it anxiety and inner restlessness.  What's in a word, anyway.

This is real, and I don’t care what anyone says, I call it mental AKA.  Call it internal dysphoria, inner restlessness.  Call it what you like, but it is a part of AKA.  Maybe one day when more is done about this, they may break it down into different manifestations of it and label it accordingly.   Bottom line is, it is torture.  It is living in hell, and it’s heartbreaking.  I’ve been in this for 11 months now, and I honestly don’t know how I am doing it.   We are all so friggin’ strong.  And, validating each other is so important.