Please Pray for Me & Send Good Energy + Hope

[[Pa...]]

3 hours ago, [[M...] said:

@[Co...], @[pi...] just said this board is only go tapering and withdrawal. I’ve asked before about post withdrawal and recovery. Is that no longer included?

Thank you,

Hi Mary1,

The Withdrawal & Recovery Support forum includes all aspects of withdrawal and recovery, and to me this makes sense since recovering feels a lot like withdrawal until it doesn't, until we fully recover.  To many, the suffering is indistinguishable so rather than having two forums discussing the same challenges, we decided one forum was appropriate for all stages of this process. 

[[Ma...]]

@[Pa...] Thank you!

[[Es...]]

22 hours ago, [[S...] said:

hillaya I just took 40mg propranolol -  I don't take every day and sometimes it may help a bit, others not. I was told I could take 80 or even 120mg...

I had some kind of window last night and went to the gym across the road for 3 minutes, then was able to go online and even tried 5mins of tv.  I slept and woke up with less anxiety.  I don't know.  now it's getting bad again but I've done a tiny walk and repeated the gym.  

estee your kitty is gorgeous.  here's mine

@[Si...]

Thank you for your kind words about my Kitty. They mean the world to me. 

Your cat is also very cute. I was so tired yesterday and didn’t notice you wrote to me.

This feature, where you place someone’s name in a link is very useful, another of @[Co...] ’s great inventions. Our local IT genius, that’s what I call him. We need more people like him.

Still some technical shortcomings on this site and I don’t want him to succumb to 過労死。Karōshi is how the Japanese call “death from overwork“. Cause we won’t last without him and I like the man, been here for such a long time. People reveal their true faces over time, he always remained a decent guy. Now on our case as I can see😆 Maybe a club for pet owners and lovers, where we will share our and our pets suffering. But where?

I want all the data about the cat: age, name, sex, main character traits. My Kitty is a bossy girl. I’m left with 1/3 of my old marital bed to sleep on, cause she occupies the rest of it. There is her “stairway to heaven“ (space capsule filled with catnip) on Husband’s side and she spreads her full length of about 0,5 ft in the center of my side of the bed. Times to buy a folded futon for me are inevitably coming😆

Give this sweet creature some belly rubs from Auntie Paula🤍

[[Co...]]

1 hour ago, [[E...] said:

This feature, where you place someone’s name in a link is very useful, another of @[Co...] ’s great inventions. Our local IT genius, that’s what I call him. We need more people like him.

Nooo.  I only pull a few levers in the admin area. But I agree with you about how useful @mentions are for the community - I make use of them all the time, @[Es...]

Apart from their utility in alerting the member that they are being discussed, we have a code addon which obfuscates usernames to search engines (and guests), which reduces members' (visible) footprint. The obfuscations apply to nearly all areas, including mini profiles, poster names, and with @mentions - but not with usernames posted in plain text. For this reason, we encourage members to routinely use @mentions whenever they write about another member.

[[Es...]]

16 hours ago, [[C...] said:

Hi @[So...]

This thread is sprawling in subject matter. It is too much like our old Buddie Blogs, which were, in part, responsible for the siloed structure and feel of the community before the change to this software. The problem with Buddie Blogs was that they (inevitably) felt cliquey and unwelcoming to newer members. And established members tended to park themselves there. This thread, like Buddie Blogs, has wandered into a sprawling personal support thread. It can fell fun and comforting for the member who 'owns' the thread, but it is not good for the community as a whole.

Of course, this is just one thread - hardly a problem by itself. But if allow one, we will be expected to allow others - this is when it becomes a problem.

There is probably nothing in this thread which is unusable for this community. But discussion should be narrower and thread-specific. Oh, and of course we can leave this thread open for now - no problem at all.

In a few minutes, I will re-enable the chat room. The chit-chat element of this thread can certainly go there.

@[Co...]

I absolutely get your point. You, @[ma...] and Badscocref were three of the people from the BB Team who made me stay here years ago.

Maybe you could move us to from here to “Off Topic“? There must be a solution. For every problem, there is a win-win solution. 

“The problem with Buddie Blogs was that they (inevitably) felt cliquey and unwelcoming to newer members. And established members tended to park themselves there.“

You are spot on. I’m one of the Oldtimers here. There's just a few of us. And you know why I latched on to these new, unknown people? Cause I feel excrutiatingly lonely. This is why. 

“Will work for Love“ is Daughters' of NPD Mothers' motto, according to “Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers“ by Karyl McBride, Ph.D. 

I locked myself in one blog for seven long years. Ignoring the warnings of other BB members, my Friends, that this blog was like a cult. These were all Oldtimers, who have left long ago. Ignoring Newcomers whom I liked to help, but time for worship took all the time and energy available.

The minute I had a spat with the Leader, all their faithful flock turned against me. Or was totally ignoring me. This was torture. It’s happening now. Except the people are new. But act accordingly to the same old patterns. Cyberbulling would be a serious accusation and I pick my battles. I don’t want to waste any more energy on that person. Cause I wasted more than enough.

The more I read about cults the more I understood the dynamics of that blog. But I preferred to delude myself. Truth hurts.

The person is charming and practises love-bombing. But it’s all an image. Maybe it’s just my cognitive bias, my imagination and distorted perceptions. I will never say I know something for sure. Only a fool enjoys this absolute certainty.

But all the seven years, people continually left that blog and BB. Never to come back again. As if they had some kind of revelation.

Do you know “48 Laws of Power“ or “The Art of Seduction“ by Robert Greene? Some people are born with that knowledge - how to manipulate and seduce others.

The most manipulative people are the most charming people, with a stellar “reputation“. Everything bad and ugly goes on behind closed doors.

“A Friend to Many is a Friend to None“, as Aristotle put it.

What’s left? Deep suffering. SI. Not eating for days. You can edit. I don’t want any revenge whatsoever. What if I imagined it all? I’m not delusional, as all pdocs have said. But I do have C-PTSD.

It was like a bad dream... I have nothing to lose. I can leave this site at any moment and never look back. 

I just wanted to get it off my chest cause I feel like I’m suffocating. Why are people like this?! Just delete it. I mean absolutely no harm to that person. I'm terribly sorry for their future “flock“. I could delude myself forever, but I cannot do it anymore. Like with Mother.

Why do I attract people like this? I'm sorry. I know it's extremely important to protect the identity of that person. They were shaped into what they are by their upbringing, genes, life circumstances etc. It's not their fault. 

This is the danger of Buddie blogs. They can be like cults and leave you broken forever. 

Just tell me what to edit to protect the identity of that person. I wish I could forget everything... I’m so tired and hurting...

Paula

[[ji...]]

Having a very rough day today.   Barely functioning, lots of anxiety, restlessness, burning skin.

thanks for praying.    

[[Fa...]]

16 minutes ago, [[j...] said:

Having a very rough day today.   Barely functioning, lots of anxiety, restlessness, burning skin.

thanks for praying.    

Will pray for you @[ji...].  It has been a very rough day.  I've noticed that with many.

Warmly,

F

[[Es...]]

@[ji...]

I'm also suffering a lot. I cannot pray, but I will keep you in my thoughts. Is it your dog in the avatar? I put my Kitty in my avatar, she keeps me going.

Take care

Paula