Please Pray for Me & Send Good Energy + Hope

[[So...]]

Hi guys ❤️  I hope you are all hanging in there & battling this as hard as I am, we are so much stronger than we know.

 

My akathisia is kicking up really badly again.  It's starting to turn a bit physical instead of just inner.  This is around the time it got bad the last time I quit & I reinstated.  It's been 8 weeks since my huge dose drop from .9mg to .09mg & the last time my akathisia kicked up at 10 weeks off.  

 

Please send me good spirits, I'm not going to give in this time but I really hope this is the last hurdle I have to get thru before I start seeing good progress.  I am also slowly tapering Celexa (but am holding atm)& had to have an antibiotic for a kidney infection (not a floroquinalone) so that could also be kicking it up but the timeline matches my last withdrawal too.  Makes me think maybe this has been the klonopin all along.

 

I'm not trying to scare anyone, my story is complicated & unique, I would just love a good word or a prayer right now to help me battle this 🙏

[[be...]]

21 minutes ago, [[S...] said:

Hi guys ❤️  I hope you are all hanging in there & battling this as hard as I am, we are so much stronger than we know.

 

My akathisia is kicking up really badly again.  It's starting to turn a bit physical instead of just inner.  This is around the time it got bad the last time I quit & I reinstated.  It's been 8 weeks since my huge dose drop from .9mg to .09mg & the last time my akathisia kicked up at 10 weeks off.  

 

Please send me good spirits, I'm not going to give in this time but I really hope this is the last hurdle I have to get thru before I start seeing good progress.  I am also slowly tapering Celexa (but am holding atm)& had to have an antibiotic for a kidney infection (not a floroquinalone) so that could also be kicking it up but the timeline matches my last withdrawal too.  Makes me think maybe this has been the klonopin all along.

 

I'm not trying to scare anyone, my story is complicated & unique, I would just love a good word or a prayer right now to help me battle this 🙏

@[So...] sending you Prayers, Stay Strong. You are amongst many good souls here that have struggled or are struggling. 💖 Peace and Healing.

[[ji...]]

Am praying for your @[So...]!   May God heal you completely and give you peace.

[[mc...]]

I will pray for you. Looking for prayers too. I feel like I am out of options. My Akathisia is intolerable. I don’t think updosing will help. I can’t take any other medications. Hydroxyzine helps a little but May be making worse in long run. I have been holding for 4 months. Can’t cut. Akathisia caused by near ct. over a mg. Of klon. Have been trying to taper off reinstatement but holding. 

[[Fa...]]

@[So...] I will pray for you.  I know you can get through this.  I, too, have AKA.  I feel you, and I know what you are going through…and, I know we can do this.  Keep digging deep…and lean on us.

Sending Much Love, Light and Healing.

Warmly,

Faith 

[[Fa...]]

17 minutes ago, [[m...] said:

I will pray for you. Looking for prayers too. I feel like I am out of options. My Akathisia is intolerable. I don’t think updosing will help. I can’t take any other medications. Hydroxyzine helps a little but May be making worse in long run. I have been holding for 4 months. Can’t cut. Akathisia caused by near ct. over a mg. Of klon. Have been trying to taper off reinstatement but holding. 

I will be praying for you, too, mcat2.  Three of us dealing with this terrible symptom.  I didn’t realize there were others battling this here.

Propranolol has helped me a bit, but just takes it down slightly…I think.

Updosing didn’t help me.  Just gave me more to come off of.  I held for a couple of months, but that didn’t help.  Mine was caused by rapid WD and an AP.  I’m on Clonazepam (Klonopin), too.  I decided to start tapering again.  So far, it has not increased the AKA…slow taper and small cuts.  We are in similar situations.

Much Love,

Faith

[[mc...]]

Propranolol lowers my blood pressure too much so I can’t take it. I hate having to take the hydrox. Just to keep si thoughts at bay. Are you able to get out of your house at all?

[[ia...]]

Hi @[So...]

I'm so sorry to hear how badly you're suffering. I never knew what akathisia was until I joined this forum... but after reading about it, and defnitely having experienced it... I can relate to how deeply uncomfortable and painful it is. I believe so much in the power of prayer and energetic healing. I will absolutely pray for you and send you good energy. I know meditation can be realy hard when we are SO restless and... I've found that if I can get through the first five minutes... it can start to help. Keep breathing deeply and hang onto hope. Things will improve... 

[[Fa...]]

3 minutes ago, [[m...] said:

Propranolol lowers my blood pressure too much so I can’t take it. I hate having to take the hydrox. Just to keep si thoughts at bay. Are you able to get out of your house at all?

Ya…SI is bad for me, also.  Mental AKA is my biggest nemesis…hands down.

I do not leave my home, no.  I have, but rarely.  My pacing ebbs and flows…and, I try to handle it by sitting outside.  If I feel caged in, I pace.  If I am outside, I can temper it.  The mental is very bad.

Are you able to leave your home?

[[ji...]]

I am praying for you @[mc...] and you @[Fa...]

God is for sure with you in your suffering.

[[Fa...]]

@[ji...]  Thank you so very much.  We are all battling our way through this like warriors.

[[mc...]]

3 hours ago, [[F...] said:

Ya…SI is bad for me, also.  Mental AKA is my biggest nemesis…hands down.

I do not leave my home, no.  I have, but rarely.  My pacing ebbs and flows…and, I try to handle it by sitting outside.  If I feel caged in, I pace.  If I am outside, I can temper it.  The mental is very bad.

Are you able to leave your home?

Not much. I go out for car rides if able. I tried last night though and we ran into a construction back up. I lost it. Ugh. 

[[pe...]]

sending prayers and good health. you got this!

[[So...]]

Thank you so very much everyone.  All these comments mean a lot.  Sincerely.  @[mc...] @[Fa...] I am praying for you two as well.  It seems ours are all caused by similar things.  I got mine after a rapid taper & reinstating did not work.  I am back off now.  I truly believe this will end for us all if we just keep fighting & live longer than it lasts.  I think it goes without saying that the aka comes with extreme SI.  I am just leaning on my mom & my husband trying to get thru one day at a time.  I've had the aka for 5 months now but I have gotten breaks from it here & there.  I am in the longest bad wave of it I have had so far at two weeks now.  Opiates help mine a good bit but I try to only take them 3 times a week.  At least I found something that works a bit but this is really hard..

[[So...]]

If you two want we can keep this thread alive & just support each other thru this torturous thing ❤️ 

[[So...]]

Also funny thing is mine also came with klonopin.. it seems like almost all the akathisia stories have klonopin related for some reason.  & also tapering off my antidepressants has probably caused it as well.

[[sh...]]

I was on Ativan and also had horrific akathisia. It’s much better now! Nowadays only when a sleepless night hits me I get it but more a bad agitation and restlessness… fortunately it will get better with time 🍀

[[So...]]

@[sh...] oh thank you so much for the hope!  It really means a lot to hear from survivors.  I am so happy you are better now- you are a warrior for getting thru this!  I am 3 weeks totally off 2 months since the pharmacy messed up my compound giving me .09mg klonopin instead of .9mg.  So I am praying if I keep putting in the time I can survive as well 🙏 

[[Fa...]]

1 hour ago, [[S...] said:

If you two want we can keep this thread alive & just support each other thru this torturous thing ❤️ 

I would like that. 

[[So...]]

Yes we can ❤️  what are your coping skills?  @[Fa...]  mine are I have a massage pad I lay on, I repeat that akathisia is not permenant, I know at nighttime it will get a bit better & I have had some days where I don't have it.  I also got this saying from Nicole Landenburg the coach "I just have to live longer than this lasts".  I also know I started this journey to be able to get pregnant so I just invision my future & think of how happy I will be when it ends.  Also I feel like with @[sh...] for example, even if someone's withdrawl lasts years usually the akathisia clears up before then.. it seems like it's usually one of the first symptoms to go.

[[Fa...]]

@[So...]  I don’t really have coping skills other than distraction, really.  I’m in a wave right now, so bear with me…

I can tell you what has helped me.  I have a friend who is very helpful to me and can often calm me because the terror is over the top for me.  And, he is benzo-wise and has been through the process.  This has been a gift on many levels to me, and has been invaluable.

I do repeat to myself in my head that my job is to stay alive, and that is it.  Just stay alive.  Yes, SI is a given in this, and is present more often than not.

The cold showers can help bring it down a bit, too.  And, I pray A LOT.  

I, too, get breaks.  It never goes away, but it lessens, and I am still able to sleep at this time.  I am not off the drug yet, however.  I am grateful for that…sleeping, and when I’m in an episode, I focus on bedtime…just have to make it to bedtime.

I hope this ends first…especially the mental AKA…I hope it lessens as I get down.  If it were only the pacing, I could deal with that…but, the mental is what I pray for to leave.  It is the dangerous aspect of this symptom.

I am so glad you have a goal to look to…having a family.  That is absolutely something to hang onto in the midst of episodes…a light in he darkness. ❤️

[[So...]]

Yes leaning on people is all ive really been able to do.  People who aren't going thru it but believe me, have been thru it, & are going thru it.  I have a fair mixture of all three thankfully so I am blessed in that way.

 

I haven't tried cold showers but when I take hot ones it is semi helpful.  Honestly when it's really bad for me I just lay in the fetal position & cry.  Crying can relieve it a bit & then it will usually pass in a few hours.

 

I am lucky to be able to sleep as well but I think the worst part of this is mine is usually time oriented so i wake up every morning at 8am to feeling like my spine is being pulled on & my veins are burning.  I just try to go back to sleep until 12pm & it will usually pass at least somewhat. 

 

I agree with the inner akathisia being the worst, it literally torments me.  I always think, if I could just not feel so incredibly bad in my head I could deal with any physical symptom at all.  It is very dangerous & I have to resist all urges all day & just think what that would do to my family.  

 

Yes, we all need a light in the darkness ❤️   I also tell myself if I can do this for 5 months so far I can do it 5 more.  & then 5 more.  & then 5 more if NEEDED but I'm really putting my money on it being gone or at least a lot better by then.  Thank you 😊 

[[gr...]]

I can't go back to the vacant person I was for too many benzo years. My family and the woman I was before this nightmare keep me going - along with inspiring poems, going outside, even to just stand there and soak up the air. We are doing this. Stay strong, relief is coming.

[[wi...]]

It pains me to see the suffering we go through.  I will for sure pray for you.  Would appreciate anyone who reads this offering up prayers and support for me, too.

I love us all. Thank you for giving people a chance to give back to others.  It helps me heal. xo

[[Fa...]]

@[wi...]  I pray for all of us every night.  Sending you Much Love. ❤️