In need of support / generalized advice

[[Lu...]]

I’m just going to post, need solid opinions/ feedback

Okay so pretty much for a little over a month I started taking some benzos for fun I usually have a month or so usually around summertime or Christmas where I’ll go through a little bit of a benzo phase for anywhere from a week to a month rarely go more than 3-4 doses a week i may occasionally take a half or full during the week to relax with some weed, but mainly take on weekends with alcohol if I’m chilling somewhere (not running around town or driving around beaned or anything) and I’ll usually take a half and possibly redose another half it really just depends. 

I started around 6 weeks ago I got 3 school busses and 2 k pins. Waited about a week and got 10 G3’s that were terrible I mean legitimately would barely feel anything off 2 or even 3. I then waited another few days and got 15 more as he was selling them for very low price. Fast forward to when those are gone my plug ends finding some GG249s I’ve been pretty responsible as I gotten 15 of these. I took about 7 and one night at home got a little carried away with the vodka and impulse took another 1 and was even feeling the effects the next day. I decided to stop completely (even tho I had 8 left) and went a full week with nothing but the first two days were hell. I ended up taking a half that weekend to go to sleep after a music show (was on molly). The next day (Sunday) I decided to have a chill day and took one. I didn’t take any all week and felt fine. I renduldged this last Friday and gave a couple to one of my buddies. I didn’t take one Saturday but took one last night (Sunday) and had 1 left but had the impulsive decision to buy 10 more today. I usually take them pretty responsibly but have just been feeling super guilty about all this and know it’s wrong. I have been through phases like this before but I was hoping to get some support on how to not feel so guilty and to just kick them entirely as I don’t feel like I’m in too deep but am starting to think the deep end is approaching quicker than I think.

Note it is important to include I also had Covid the week before I stopped cold turkey and had horrible withdraws for 3 days until they stopped not sure if that had anything to do with it. (Did not take any benzos with Covid and felt no withdrawals)

Edited July 31, 2023 by [Lu...]

[[ma...]]

Hello Lucas Welcome to BenzoBuddies.

We are glad you joined us. I’m sorry you’ve had Covid, the symptoms are ghastly.  Don’t feel guilty, benzodiazepines are addictive. You'll find plenty of information on benzodiazepines here. Sporadic use can lead to dependency. I am sure other members will offer some advice .
 

Have you stopped completely? Are you experiencing any symptoms? Benzodiazepines mixed with alcohol can be lethal. 

Check out the forum  and post questions, our members are very knowledgeable and supportive.

I will leave you a link to the Ashton Manual, it is a definitive resource about these medications. It helps in understanding the effect benzo’s have on our body.  

http://www.benzo.org.uk/manual/

Magrita