Cant find a dose that doesnt paradox.

[[ba...]]

I was tapering not easy, but making good strides, and having some decent spells. I cut every time the doses started to make me feel worse (paradox starting) and that was working. When I made my last cut down, all my doses paradoxed within a few days. That is, they made me feel worse. After a few days of that agony, I cut again. It worked for about a day or two, then it happened again. I tried hanging in there, but it led to a 3 day blow out of extreme physical and mental sxs. Felt like the bad old days of CT.

This has been all in the past 2 months. I went up very gradually, trying to get the paradoxing to stop. After a week of low increasing, I made all my doses the higher count, this is day 2. It did not feel good, but I was functional. I am day 2 into the all 3 doses updose, and its paradoxing. Its not at the acute stage yet, but it is building  to it. From experience I know it will get worse.  I just took my 3ed dose, back down to my previous cut.  I am not confident that it wont be another  paradox. I am only a few minutes in, and the paradoxical sxs hit. Thats how it has been. As soon as I take the dose, I am much worse, when I really shouldnt feel anything that fast. This is new. Paradoxes used to hit in about 25 minutes, but now it seems immediate.

I have no idea what to do. I am afraid to take my doses. But I am more afraid of going CT.

I know other people have dealt with this, but have no idea who they are. I also feel like starting a thread may not help. Not enough veterans are in the forums.

I wont CT or go to rehab. Just an FYI. I started a thread on this in the past, and that is the advice I got.

Any informed or any one who has experienced this, I would love some input. I am really in hell.

Thanks much

[[je...]]

@[ba...]

I didn't want your thread to go with no replies. Unfortunately I don't have the answers for you as I think you know your situation intricately more than I do. I am just deeply saddened by the pain you are going through. And I wanted to acknowledge your pain and desperation. 

[[Ha...]]

I'm sorry you're stuck in this situation baddove. I was paradoxical, but didn't have a clue what that meant at the time, so just stopped CT expecting to "come down" in a few days. Which obviously never happened, so understand your reluctance to CT. 

I'm just going to throw a couple of ideas out. But not sure what would be best to be perfectly honest.

Have you reached out to any of the doctors that work for the Benzo Coalition or similar? There maybe someone with experience in this situation? What sort of dose are you at currently?

Do you think a flumazenil assisted WD could be an option? 

Sorry if I'm not much help 

[[be...]]

Hi Badlove, so sorry that you are suffering, I wish I had an answer for you. Just a thought though, maybe the changes has caused your Brain to fight back from the changes, sometimes it needs a rest from tapering. Again wish I could help more, hang in there, I am sure that there is someone that can help, Having a Mare made a good suggestion. Peace and Healing.

[[ba...]]

Appreciate the responses. I was at 6.75 when the paradoxing hit. It has happened before. I first down dosed, then updosed a bit, went to a 1 day high dosage of 750 2 days ago, 725 yesterday, and 7 today. I will add the higher doses did not feel good, but was trying to get a temporary flux of more xanax before going back to my previous cut before the 6.75.

Thats my xanax dosage. I am trying to revert to my previous cut (7) that i made before the 6.75.

 dont know where this will take me.

I am also on seroquel. (500 mgs)I changed my dosage to allow for an early evening low dose of 75 mgs. That dose is purely an antihistamine, and does not make me drowsy. I cut my final dose down to .75 as well, and added a 150 in so I am still at 500 mgs. I tried to taper seroquel many times, it was always a disaster. But changing the way I take it , I think will help. Want to keep it at the same dosage to avoid going into wd from it. No idea if this will allow me to stay out of it.

Thanks for the support. I really did not expect much, but appreciate you folks chiming in.

[[ba...]]

By the by, this dose is no longer paradoxing (225) I think the very temporary and gradual uptick, and down tick helped. Hope so! Just have sxs, what a relief. At least I have a blog here now, so I can note experiences, and look back and see what worked )if anything did) when I hit a wall.

I was also exposed to vocs (volatile organic compounds)when I cut, my building was being stained, and my histamine levels went nuts. I am confident this is a big player in the problem. 

Loves to all

Beverly