Calling all agoraphobics

[[hl...]]

Agoraphobia has ruined my life. It’s strained almost every relationship I have. I haven’t seen my friends in forever. It’s out unnecessary stress on my mother and my girlfriend. My parents are separated, and my father recently moved to another state. I wasn’t able to say goodbye in person to him. 
 

I can’t take this bs anymore. I need answers please! I am under so much stress I’m actually going Grey! I’m 24 years old and have plucked a few grey hairs on the side of my head already. I know it isn’t genetic, my father is barely grey and almost 60. 

its coming to the point where i experience agoraphobia in my dreams. I will have a dream of driving a car and feel anxious and panic in my f*****g dream. In my DREAMS! Is this a joke?? My amygdala is fried. 

does this ever go away? I can’t keep digging through this forum hoping to find someone that had it go away. It’s been almost 11 months since my last dose and I haven’t improved at all since Christmas. My agoraphobia is raging and frankly he trying worse. I’m so f***ed!

this fear is killing me, I need answers please! Has anyone recovered, or experienced agoraphobia this far out?
 

 

[[Gr...]]

I am just a few days shy of 11 months benzo free as well as all other meds and I’m still dealing with agoraphobia issues as well. They are nothing like they were at the beginning. I still tend to push my family members away but what is really helping me is I try to make small trips to the gas station to get a cup of coffee or just going into the grocery just to get a few items I know in these places I will encounter people and that is my goal and it seems to be helping hang in there we’ll get through this together.

[[ma...]]

 

I think when we are in the thick of it...it doesn't matter how many tell us..."It gets better"....we try to believe it but somehow we don't.  I had convinced myself I would never get well again, I had been sick for so long, housebound, agoraphobic unable to function properly, I could not go outside, not even my garden.   Then it happens!  and when it happens,  its hard to describe it…...no word seems to fit.

I remember so well that day, I felt better and for some reason, I wanted to go wash the car!  My husband could not believe his eyes and ears!   I was standing on my drive washing the car... then it started to rain.  I was not put off, I carried on washing the car, watching the movements of neighbours curtains and blinds....they must have thought I had gone completely mad. I did not care, no one was going to stop me from enjoying that moment.

 I was housebound and agoraphobic for a few years, then suddenly there I am outside, and I didn't care about anyone watching or what they thought.  It was a  magic moment...I was elated.   I still have not found a word that fits how joyous and wonderful I felt that day....I was like a drowned rat...but inside my body and my once screwed up head....I felt on top of the world....I cried with joy. That was near the 18 month mark, and i never looked back, life got better and better.  It took a few weeks more, to go further, shopping etc, but It happened.   Sitting in the garden drinking tea such a simply task for most people, but not for us.  Then there i was sitting in my garden, watching the birds, taking in all the colour of the garden, it was wonderful, I had been in the dark for years, and there I was one day, sipping tea and being so grateful for the little things I used to take for granted.

The same will happen for you too, I promise you, stay positive.

Magrita

 

[[Br...]]

 

Thank you so much Magrita for your feedback, your dedication and welcome to everyone here at BenzoBuddies.

I remember that you welcomed me here when I arrived and I was treated with all attention and respect. By the way, everyone here treats them with this respect and feels empathy because all of us, in some way, have already suffered so much that we understand the suffering of our fellow man.

I already had some symptoms of Agoraphobia but they were few. What shook me the most and still shakes me is being alone at home and not having anyone to count on when I'm feeling anxious. Completely the opposite of Agoraphobia, so I would leave the house and be in a public place near some people and that would bring me more of a sense of security. Today I try to breathe slowly in those moments about 3 times because it really is just the feeling we have and how we catastrophize everything.

Thank you to everyone at the Forum and  Magrita.
Hugs from Brazil - Rio de Janeiro .

 

[[Ma...]]

Margarita: that sounds like an amazing day! What exactly were the symptoms you were experiencing before the light shined back on??!

[[ma...]]

7 hours ago, [[B...] said:

Thank you so much Magrita for your feedback, your dedication and welcome to everyone here at BenzoBuddies.

I remember that you welcomed me here when I arrived and I was treated with all attention and respect. By the way, everyone here treats them with this respect and feels empathy because all of us, in some way, have already suffered so much that we understand the suffering of our fellow man.

I already had some symptoms of Agoraphobia but they were few. What shook me the most and still shakes me is being alone at home and not having anyone to count on when I'm feeling anxious. Completely the opposite of Agoraphobia, so I would leave the house and be in a public place near some people and that would bring me more of a sense of security. Today I try to breathe slowly in those moments about 3 times because it really is just the feeling we have and how we catastrophize everything.

Thank you to everyone at the Forum and  Magrita.
Hugs from Brazil - Rio de Janeiro .

 

Hello Brazil Raw

Thank you for your kind words my friend.  I’m just trying to give back, what was given to me.   It must be so hard going through this alone,  getting out will help you so much, it will take your mind away from symptoms.  Distraction is key, putting your mind on anything other than symptoms, it becomes automatic and it helps us.   We do catastrophize, everything has to be the worst possible scenario.  Thankfully we do come back from all of this, It does get better, and life comes good again.  It’s like being reborn, a second chance to get it right.  I will never ever take anything for granted again that’s for sure.

Hugs back at you

Magrita

[[ma...]]

5 hours ago, [[M...] said:

Margarita: that sounds like an amazing day! What exactly were the symptoms you were experiencing before the light shined back on??!

Hello Mary

Leading up to that day, I had quite a lot going on, agoraphobia, anxiousness. muscle pain, although not nearly as severe as it once was, it had been torturous for years.    IBS had eased off, it was still acting up a little, but at least I was getting warning signals where I wasn’t before. I had a few embarrasing  accidents.  The IBS resolved along with everything else over the following weeks.

I still can’t get my head around my recovery, to have gone through absolute torture for a few years, and within a few months they resolved.    I didn’t have windows like some do along the way,  I had one window, that was around 16 months.  It came when I was at my very lowest, it was short…few hours…but that glimpse of the future gave me the strength I needed to push on.  Stay positive Mary, it will get better for you.

Magrita

[[Ma...]]

Thank you! Did you ever feel like you were losing your mind?

Apologies for hyjacking this thread guys.

Hopefully my questions answered will help!